On Wednesday 16th September 2009 Elder David A Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke to the five stakes of Scotland in the Glasgow Stake building — my home ward.
In two words: Absolutley Amazing.
In a fair few more words:
The evening started with Elder Teixeira conducting and we all sang Awake and Arise.
The first speaker was
Sister Teixeira and she was generally introducing herself and talking about how great it is to travel with Elder and Sister Bednar. Her general thoughts and talking (which was very brief) could be summarised into the statement 'Be an answer. Be someone's answer.'
I really liked that concept because it was like we were being challenged to conduct our lives in such a way that we would be the answer to someone's prayer or desperation without even seeking it out or trying.Sister Bednar began by commenting on how nice it is to have a common hymn book. She then spoke about following the prophet and how important it is to obey his commandments. She told a story of when her husband became the president (I think that's what he was) of Rick's college and during that time it turned into BYU Idaho. As part of some of the 'ceremonies' (for lack of a better word) for the changing of ownership/name of the university there was a lunch where President Hinkley was attending.
Elder Bednar had the menu before hand and knew that green beans were on the menu, something that was not his son's favourite. They warned the 15 year old boy that he had to eat all of his green beans in front of the prophet. The boy did it, but gulped water immediately afterwards.
David Bednar wanted to praise his son so he turned to President Hinkley and pointed out that his son had eaten green beans and didn't actually like them. To which president Hinkley informed the table that he didn't like green beans either and that he had just pushed them around the plate and made them look eaten and then called for the waitress to take his plate before anyone noticed.
A couple of weeks later Sister Bednar attempted to have her son, Jeffery, eat green beans again. He adamantly protested and claimed that he was just 'following the prophet.'
The green beans became a running theme through the evening, it was brought up 2 or 3 more times by Elder Bednar... he used it as a threat and even said that Green Beans would be the refreshment after the evening concluded.Elder TeixeiraGave a very very brief testimony and declaration that we would simply have an amazing evening.
Elder Bednar then got up and started talking. He commented that his wife doesn't let him sing and thinks he's a terrible singer, and that she tells him to move his mouth but not to let sound come out. At that point she herself stood up and commented that he was lying. Elder Bednar insisted that he only told the truth. It definitely set a nice tone, a relaxing and entertaining evening rather than something tedious.
Bednar then mentioned that while he sang with the Scots on Tuesday night in Edinburgh and Wednesday night in Glasgow that it was wonderful and he was a good singer in comparison. I still don't get where he was going with insulting our singing, but he tried to cover it over by saying we were the most enthusiastic and fervent singers he had sung with. He apparently enjoyed our tones.
He carried on to talk about how the members of the 12 all carry the keys, which was something he referred to a couple of times. I think he was trying to get across the fact that he does posses something beyond being an average church speaker.
At this point he then surprised the congregation by telling us that he was going to do a Questions and Answers session rather than talk to us. He wanted us to tell him what we needed to know. He urged us to take opportunities to ask questions that only he could answer. He gave examples of good questions and bad questions. His bad question example was 'Elder Bednar where is the Sword of Laban?' to which he responded, I don't know and I don't really care. His examples of good questions were 'Elder Bednar you've travelled the world, what have you learned from conducting Q&A sessions in other cities?' or 'Elder Bednar what's it like to be an apostle of the Lord?'
He opened the floor after urging us to not be shy and to be the first to ask a question.
The first question came:
Q. What is a meeting with the quorum of the twelve like?Personally, I thought everyone knew the story about the new apostle going in and being surprised at how the apostles were playing 'hard ball.' Apparently this man did not. He asked and Elder Bednar said that it was both robust and polite and then reiterated the story of the 'hardball note,' where an apostle (can't remember who) passed a note to a new member of the twelve that simply said, 'welcome to the quorum of the twelve, here we play hardball.' He took a few minutes explaining the difference between softball and baseball.
He also made mention that there is no ego within the twelve. They are not talking and discussing things for their own personal gain, it's for the betterment of the church.
The first asker wanted to then know why such an attitude didn't filter down to the rest of the church. Bednar responded simply with the obvious but sometimes forgotten realisation that local leaders have jobs, families and life that just get in the way. The twelve only have to be members of the twelve, they still have families and life, but they are completely focused because their families are usually independently living by the time they are called.
He also urged us all to remember that this is the Lord's church and not an administration. It's a church, and sometimes that is forgotten and some meetings or callings become too serious or focused on the wrong kind of reason, ie. not based on the love of Christ.
Q. Will there ever be a temple in Scotland? (everyone sighed at this question because someone always asks it, and it's so pointless.)
Elder Bednar, before responding made sure that the asker was willing to take on board the response and not just shirk it. He informed us all that there would be a temple in Scotland when the Lord sees fit to put it there. He poked fun at the rumours and heresy that existed in the church regarding such things. He said that often members believe it's based on tithing numbers of membership in the area. But Bednar said that usually people will get excited about something and they will attend and go, and be there diligently. Then the novelty wares off and attendance decreases and then there's no point having it there at all.
So he said that until the Lord knows that the people of Scotland wouldn't do that we would not get a temple. He then went on to say that we might protest and say 'But we would never do that.' Of course we would. It's human.
He told us a story of a stake he used to be in, and the people that lived the furthest away from the stake centre were the ones that used to be there on time all the time, whereas the local people would take it for granted and always be late or make excuses for not attending. When it came time for the stake to be split and the people that lived the furthest away would be the closest to the new stake he gave them a warning, he told them to remember how they would murmur and talk about the local people and how they had it so easy and yet wouldn't show.
They assured Bednar that they wouldn't do that or turn into that, but it was less than a year and they were making excuses and not showing up.
He then said something rather poignant and quote worthy
'Ease is not a blessing; sacrifice is not a burden.'At this point he urged sisters and youth to come forward and ask questions. I kind of liked that because a lot of times I think there's such emphasise put on the priesthood and how sacred it is that often women take a back seat and let the men do all the 'business' and talking because that's the place and allocation they've been given.Q. How did sister Bednar react when Elder Bednar was called?Elder Bednar asked his wife to come back up and talk.
Sister Bednar then said that if she had known what was in store when they got married she would have had definitely reservations and felt too inadequate to take on such an important role.
She said she was shocked and excited but the thing that stood out the most was that they couldn't tell their children.
She asked her husband three times if they definitely couldn't tell anyone, not anyone, not even their children, and after the third time her husband said 'No, Martin' which made reference to Martin Harass and the first translated pages.
She said that her children found out when the rest of the world did. She had one child in Provo at BYU, another in Texas and one in Arizona I think. They were all in different locations watching it in different places and all of them were shocked. They were all able to travel to Salt Lake for the Sunday sessions of conference and be with their newly called Apostle Dad. She thought that to be one of the greatest blessings that she was able to have them there on such short notice.
Sister Bednar then gave her husband the stand back and he said 'If you want to know what virtue looks like, it's Sister Bednar.' Which I thought was possibly one of the nicest things anyone could say about another person. Her countenance just shone with purity, love and virtue. She sparkled. Q. How do we reach out to our inactive children?In short Bednar said 1. Persistence and 2. Inviting them to act rather than acting upon them.
He urged us to seek to honour the agency of other people, especially the inactive children in question. He gave an example that a book is an object and it can be lifted and moved, that is acting upon an object. Persistently asking and inviting and letting a person chose the right path is what we should be aiming to do rather than forcing them to do what we think is right.
He said
the purpose of agency is not to chose whatever you want whenever you will.He started by giving an example of when he was president of BYUI he would have people in his office talking about how their agency was compromised by signing the honour code and that they should be allowed to dress and look how they want with out having to be told and have it enforced.
Whenever he would take one of these meetings he would always think that they were most definitely messing with the wrong person on the subject.
He would always ask them if they signed the honour code? and when they replied that hey had he would then say, 'well you have expended your agency. You used your agency to decide to sign and obey the honour code and attend this school.
He then drew similar parallels to the covenants that we made at baptism. When we decide that we don't want to go to church one day, or that we don't want to pay tithing or dress the way we should that is not using and flexing our agency that is breaking a commandment. When we agreed to get baptised we used our agency to make that decision and we are therefore bound by our own choices to make and keep commandments at baptism. Choosing to be baptised expended our agency.
He then spoke of the tentacle that would reach out and touch everyone in the world with a way to hear the gospel. But he emphasised that it was a tentacle of persuasion and not one of capture or force.
He then gave a promise that if a faithful parent prays and continues to have strong faith for a wayward child that over time the parent will be instructed what to do.
(this reminded me of the quotes Jon read to me from his mission scriptures about the faith and obedience of parents saving their children through the sealing power.)Q. How do I feel the spirit? (from a little six year old) and How do I keep my children on the straight and narrow? (from the boy's dad).This was almost like a follow on from the previous question. Bednar spoke about inviting to act, telling your children to 'be quiet and listen to what I have to say' is just going to be counter productive.
He mention Family Home Evening and said that having a chart, and making it formal and turning it into a burden rather than something exciting just defeats the purpose, because it then becomes pure contention. Family home evening will start with a prayer have an hour of contention and end with a prayer.
If we are doing our best in our homes to teach and learn with our children then we will have an early warning system if our children start to fall off the path. It won't act for children that are being acted upon though.
He suggested reading scriptures to them, and not just making church and Jesus a twice a week Sunday and FHE thing. He urged us to make it part of our lives always. To have spontaneous testimony meetings while eating dinner, and not to call it testimony meeting. To set it apart from normal life is to highlight that two lives can be led. (Bednar even mentioned that foetus children can hear the sound of their parent's voices and said to read the book of mormon to unborn children because it's something they might get used to and recognise.)
Church, faith, and the gospel must be fully integrated and not something that is a formality. A child in this day needs a constant Christ centred home. By inviting them to participate in FHE and asking them to bring any questions they have about what they are reading means that they will actively think and feel part of the evening and not see it as a burden.
A lot of parents don't like their children asking questions incase the parent can't answer. In this case Bednar suggested that you, the parent, admit that you don't know but then suggest that you and your child both look together to find the answer in the scriptures. Be an equal with your child by learning, seeking and by having similar faith.
He said that by doing this and inviting children to ask questions they will feel comfortable enough to ask questions or make comments like 'I don't believe Nephi could have done that?' or 'Why can't I feel the Holy Ghost?' And these types of questions are your early warning system. When those questions come up invite your children to ask and to find out.
It was at this point that Bednar moved on to testimonies (that I touched on briefly) and asked when the last time husbands held their wives and bore their testimony or when a wife held her husband and bore her testimony. Keep the gospel elements of life unscripted and part of all life. Bare your testimony to your children without making it awkward or out of place or boring, like it would become if you had a chart on the fridge and time allocated specifically for it. Unscript it.
Parents assist children in learning not necessarily teach them. What we need to remember is that we are to teach them to understand and let the scriptures do the teaching.
Bednar then gave an example of East Germany and how, at the time, all Christian religion was banned from schools. One parent had asked how they were supposed to counteract what the government was so successfully teaching or un-teaching their children every day at school. His solution was family home evening every night. Or rather all day every day, that it would start when they woke up in the morning and end that night when they went to bed. Have our homes Christ focused and gospel centred.
And then to the question about feeling the spirit Bednar answered by telling the boy that by being and staying good, and praying and listening to his parents, and reading the scriptures that it would come. He also highlighted that we don't always feel it and we don't always need it and it comes when we need it, however it is always there, we just might not feel it.
Bednar said that if the Holy Ghost has to shout then we're lacking in spirituality. The Holy Ghost doesn't have to tell us everything. Heavenly Father wants us to work things out for ourselves. We don't feel it all the time just some of the time.
Be a good person and your confidence will wax strong in the presence of the Lord. If we're worthy and keep ourselves that way we will always have the Holy Ghost with us. But we don't need everything revealed to us immediately. When Nephi was asked to get the plates of Laban he didn't know how it was going to happen or how it would unfold, but he agreed to do it, and as time went on things unfolded and happened and he achieved what he needed to do. As he did, it all came together.
I personally enjoyed that part because a lot of the time we have no idea how we're going to work things out or manage things or plan things, but we just have to keep doing and although we don't understand or we don't think the Lord is with us a lot of the time, he actually is, he's just unfolding things in the best way possible in his time as we need them, we don't need to know everything all at the one time.Q. How did you [Elder Bednar] feel to be called as an apostle?Stunned. When he left BYUI President Hinkley gave him a hand shake and said 'Thanks for being president of BYU Idaho, now go find a job.'
So being called as an apostle was definitely a surprise.
Q. What inspirational things did you learn from your time in Brazil?What stood out the most for Bednar was the amount of love that the Brazilian members of the church have for the gospel. They love it. They are always on time, they have a fantastic love for what they have and for their church buildings.
He told us that the saints there have nothing, and although we moan about being poor that we are in fact so rich in comparison to the saints in Brazil.
But he told us not be foolish and to assume that they are in fact miserable and Bednar said to not take pity on the saints, or think about ways that we could help them, because in actual fact they have so much more than us, they understand life better and they don't get caught up in financial or material gain and they never make excuses like 'I don't have time for family prayer or family home evening.' They have more than we have because of their understanding and love of the gospel, they are free from the binds of possessions.
Bednar actually suspects that the Brazilian saints look at us and pity us and wonder how they could help us and free us from our constricted lives.
The Brazilians are not preoccupied by the cares of the world.
Elder Teixeira then added a story about how he used to live in Germany and that while there he learned what it meant to be on time and punctual. So he was surprised that when he went to Brazil and they were having a meeting at 6:30am that when he showed up 10 minutes early he was the last person to arrive.
Q. How are missionaries assigned? And if it's so inspired why are some missionaries more successful than others?To start with Bednar again belittled the heresy and rumours that happen in the church. He then gave us the full account of how missionaries are selected and assigned.
On a Friday 2-4 members of the 12 are assigned to 'missionary assigning' duty. Each apostle has 100-400 missionaries to assign that day. They sit in front of a large computer screen with the picture of the missionary, their information and personal statement thing and then their bishop's recommendations.
Each of the apostles knows all the missions in the world, and knows all the mission presidents and their wives. As they sit and read through the information they will feel inspired about a particular mission for each of the candidates.
There was one day that Bednar was doing the missionary assigning and he couldn't feel settled about one missionary in particular. He appeared to have achieved good grades in school but the missionary had said that he would prefer not to go on a foreign speaking mission. His bishop had written 'This missionary would be best on a mission speaking his native tongue.' The Stake president had written the same thing. Elder Bednar wondered why the boy, and these two leaders all thought he wasn't capable. As he was pondering the inspiration came, and it frightened him a little. The missionary was called to server in a Mandarin Chinese speaking mission.
On another instance Bednar came across a missionary that was fluent in English and Spanish so Los Angeles seemed like the perfect place to send this missionary, but the inspiration came to assign them to Portugal. With a widened perspective you can see that by learning Portuguese the member of the church in the next 10 years would be able to communicate with 95% of the members in English, Spanish or Portuguese.
Bednary went on to say that success is not just defined by what you do within the two years of your mission. Your mission call is setting you up for great things and success throughout your whole life. So what might appear like a missionary being more successful than another is not the be all and end all.
Success isn't about the right here and right now it is about seeing into the future.'The letter comes from the prophet because he gets the final say on the missionary assignments. And on the letter is says you are called as a missionary and assigned to a location. Sometimes accidents happen and circumstances change. The location might change after recovery but you are still called to be a missionary and you are still fulfilling that calling just in a different location.
It was also made quite clear that the location of a mission assignment isn't necessarily the point of being called to a place and that the mission president and what you can learn from him and his wife are usually more important than the location.
What did Jesus do for me personally at the Garden of Gethsame?The boy asking this got really shy and his Dad started to ask. Elder Bednar stopped him and said, let's just give him a minute and then invite him to ask the question himself. We sat and waited but the boy had too much fear. His Dad asked the question.
Elder Bednar then asked the boy how old he was, and asked him if he had his scriptures with him. He was slying encouraging the boy and acting upon his own words that he had talked about earlier, about inviting someone to act and not acting upon them.
He asked the boy to turn to 3 Nephi chapter 11. Verses 10, 11, 12, 13, 14.
Bednar read a couple and then invited the boy, giving him the opportunity to say no, to read verse 15 which he did.
It came to pass that the multitude went forth, and thrust their hands into his side, and did feel the prints of the nails in his hands and in his feet; and this they did do, going forth one by one until they had all gone forth, and did see with their eyes and did feel with their hands, and did know of a surety and did bear record, that it was he, of whom it was written by the prophets, that should come.Now the reason Bednar had picked this scripture is because of the words 'one by one.'
He estimates that if there was 2,000 people there, and that they had 30 seconds roughly each, that would be 13-16 hours that the saviour stood there and let them come up one by one and see and feel for themselves.
Everything we need to know about Jesus' life on the earth is contained in those three words. His entire ministry was based on one by one.
Bednar posed the question and thought: Knowing what we now know, did Jesus, in Gethsemane, have a large sack of sins, pain, and anguish on his back, or did he drop blood out of his pores and feel and live our entire lives for each and every one of us?
He bore our sins, our sickness, our frustrations, our pain, our confusion, our guilt and our limitations. He felt everything we would ever feel, and he saw our faces as he did it. He bore mental anguish and physical pain — he's felt it all so that he could be our saviour one by one.
He challenged the boy (and all of us) to frequently read chapter 11 of third nephi frequently. How frequently was up to us, but frequently none the less. He also challenged us to find the six references to the words 'one by one' that appear in the Book of Mormon. He forbade us from using the internet and searching, and encouraged us to get a cheap paperback copy of the Book of Mormon and find the other five references and to think about what those words mean.
How can teenages keep commandments when there's so much going on at school etc.?'What does it mean to be a son or daughter of the Immortal Father? That was the question that was used to answer the original question. By remembering what it means to be a son of God will give you the confidence to say no and to live your own life out-with pressure from peers.
When members of the church talk about the Young Men and say things like 'Aww I hope he chooses to go on a mission' it is ridiculous, because the young man made that choice in the pre-existence. That's when he chose to go on a mission.
He talked about the story of Esau and Jacob and how Esau was hungry one day and traded his birthright to Jacob for, what was essentially, a bowl of bean soup.
Would you want to give up who you are and what you are worth for a bowl of bean soup?
While Bednar was in school in the late sixties, he lived somewhere in Northern California and went to a school with around 3000 kids in it, and he was the only member of the church. His friends would get involved in practices that were addictive and fed a physical appetite. None of it ever looked fun to him, and they would call him stupid for not doing what they did, things involving drugs, alcohol, and sex. He watched as they would do things that they didn't remember with people they wouldn't remember. None of it seemed like fun in the slightest. So when questioned and called Stupid he would reply that he thought they were the stupid ones for dappling in addiction. They were becoming objects that were acted upon by appetites. They were becoming stuck and consumed in their addictions and that is in no way living a life of choices.
His conclusion was that if you remember and know what being a Son of God and a Seed of Abraham is then you will never trade that in for something as unappealing and eternally unsatisfying as a bowl of bean soup.
Elder Bednar then noticed that he had been answering questions for two hours straight. He started to wind down and asked for a show of hands of people that had a question that didn't get asked that had been answered anyway. Around half of the congregation put their hands up. I suspect the other half didn't actually have questions at all. (All my questions came later that night... I don't think on the spot very well at all.)
He asked us then if we thought we would need an apostle to answer our questions or if the Holy Ghost was quite capable. He pointed out that our questions we might have had had been answered by the Holy Ghost because of the direction and the way the meeting went, and because of the people who did get to ask questions.
He also pointed out that what we had seen and heard was completely inspired by the Holy Ghost, we had been taught and told some ideas and thoughts and then an opportunity had arisen to show and teach by example, and of course it was handled meticulously and with utter success. That in itself was no coincidence and not rehearsed.
He also asked us if we thought that the Holy Ghost would have inspired Bednar to be there just to remind us that we don't need an apostle to answer questions, or even just to sing with us.
God expects us to learn for ourselves, and to seek out the questions and then seek out the answers. We have the Holy Ghost and we have Scriptures.
Elder Bednar then let Elder Teixeira day some closing words.
Elder David A. Bednar bore his testimony, and I've never heard anything like it. I mean there was no extensive vocabulary or speaking with tongues or something like that, it was plain but it was filled with so much power and utter confidence that it was piercing and incredibly great. There was no doubt in his voice, there was no hesitance. He knew, 100% without any further doubt that the church, and the gospel is true and real and he knew the power and blessings that it can have on our lives, even if we don't have the same conviction or confidence in God as he does.
He finished by asking us to go home with a renewed spirit and a renewed commitment. Not to just go home and think 'wow, that was a nice evening', and to slip back into the every day.
He asked us 'to go home with a renewed spirit and a new commitment to be better people, citizens and church members.' He asked us to use our lives 'to make a difference.'
He sat down.
And then before the closing hymn, Guide us Oh Thou Great Jehova, he said 'This will be the last time that I get to sing with the Scots for quite some time, let's make it count. Don't shout it, just mean it.'
And we sang.
I had set a goal of trying to get a photo of Bednar's feet for the
gyspy feet blog that I am part of. But I failed. Standing where he stood was the best I could muster.
So these are my feet... walking the path of the apostle :)
