Grrr Arg

Dear 2011 (An Amendment)

2011-12-31T21:30:00.000Z

Dear 2011,

It appears that my last letter to you was a little hasty. I had no faith that you could deliver a 2011 miracle in such a short space of time. But in actual fact I was wrong.

You delivered to me, a mere 9 hours after my last letter, another letter affording hopes and promises for the arriving days of 2012.

For this I am very thankful, and would like to say that there is still a little under 3 hours for you to work your magic again not just for me, for everyone else that has had, to use the colloquial term, 'beef' with you.

In your honour and in all fairness to you, here is a list of the things that have happened that I can be very grateful you brought for me.

• My permanent residency card
• My trip home to see my very missed family and friends
• The recipe for home-made diluting orange juice
• The ability to help make a short film
• Being married, regardless of the lack of a wedding or the circumstances surrounding it
• Seeing various friends that I hadn't seen in a long time in various cities: Charla, Farris, Marcus, April, Natalie and Niki in Salt Lake. Eilidh in LA. Chris in Sacramento as he passed through. Mary, Donna, Lorraine, Laura and Toni, in Glasgow.

Although you and I have been at loggerheads, I can already look back in fondness, at a few of your offerings.

Thank you.

Dear 2011

2011-12-30T17:06:00.001Z

Dear 2011, I think there's been some kind of mix up. For several years prior to your arrival I had anticipated great things to happen during your visit. It appears that the events that have occurred are more reminiscent of the visitation of an even number. The only thing that can explain this is that you were not, in fact, 2011, but another year that has been sent by mistake. I look forward to when you do come.

If my instinct is wrong and you were the real 2011, then I have a bone to pick with you.

There were several moments during the past 364 days that should have been epic, amazing memories forged with the blessing of 11. What you gave me was nothing short of a disaster at every turn. Having been a faithful follower of the odd numbers and the 11s I take it personally that you did not provide the spectacular perfect year that I had anticipated, and in fact made it a pretty lousy year, not even mediocre, it was a disaster. Not just for me either, it seems like you went out of your way to make life awful for several of the people I care for and know in my life. So what's the problem?

There's only two explanations I can thin of, 1. You don't care and you really are awful. or 2. This is one of these situations where you planted a bunch of seeds that will blossom in years to come and when I look back to see how these things happened it will all lead back to you.

Do I believe you are that smart? Yes. Do I believe you work so mysteriously? No. But only time will tell.

I would like to sever our contract in 31 hours, I will move on and you can move on too. It is with regret that I see you go because even in the next 31 hours I am naive enough to believe that you might just come through, that you might fulfil your spectacular promises. I hope this is true, but I have to admit that I have lost faith in your abilities.

I wish we could have been best friends, and hopefully with hindsight I can realise we were. It has been a pleasure knowing you, and I'm sure I will have fond memories of you in the future once all the bitterness subsides.

Your friend in the 11s forever

Vikki

Pounds

2011-04-09T06:16:00.001+01:00

• I keep calling dollars pounds. It only happens when I'm in a rant about something and I'm not concentrating on where I am.

• Boy and I have taken up a hobby of frequenting antique shops and charity shops to see what wonders we can laugh at and enjoy. One of our latest finds charges you in pounds. How much does all the stuff you have found weigh?

• I found a little paper envelope filled with cards from the seventies or later with all their
envelopes, the designs are so old fashioned and dated, but it's an amazing find. If your
birthday is coming up you most likely will be receiving one. Seriously. So amazing.
I'm going to photograph them all.

• I've been swimming once in California. It's so different from home. The way lanes are shared is weird. I stood feeling like the last kid to be picked before someone invited me to share their lane. it was nice of them. I feel like I'm putting on pounds, I think it's because Jon is so skinny.

• The other day in Urban Outfitters I found a cute pair of shorts and they were reduced to a third of their original price. Two of the belt hoops were broken and I asked if that was why they were in sale or if they were damaged afterwards. The guy reduced them even more and I got them for about five pounds fifty. Pleased.

• The days are long and nothing really deviates. I miss my friends and I really miss my family and super duper miss my cat and it pains me to think of the good times I am missing at 'work' and all the high fiving aka hand pounding (for the sake of my pound theme).

11 - mega update

2011-02-22T19:46:00.000Z

So, I am totally excited that this year is 2011... I love 11... well I at least enjoy them, and they seem to appear at the most random of times. I see them everywhere.

So... let's get cracking on some news.

November and December were super busy times. I was finishing up working at apple, as well as doing night shifts to prepare for Christmas and I was trying to work as much as I could to generate as much mullah as possible.

I had also decided to go ahead with my 'pre wedding' celebration thing, which family from Ireland came over for and I very much appreciated. It was amazing to see them and feel that kind of support and love.

I left Glasgow on 14th December and I was a mess. I was spewing and dry heaving and coughing and gagging and crying and wanting to just forget the whole thing. I had been something close to that for days before, around friends and family and co-workers, just prone to burst into tears at the thought of not being around any more, and especially not being around for christmas. I think the Christmas this augmented everything more than it would it have been if it was another time of year.

I finished work on a Friday and I was so sad. The days prior to that were so quiet because Glasgow was experiencing the worst snow storm ever, and so the shop was dead for a few days... when I say dead I mean, the average amount of people of another shop — it was dead for us.

The next day was all about my party, there was cooking and baking, and decorating and it was so super fun. I'll have to post pictures later there's so many of them and i've not gone through them properly and edited them yet. But the amount of craft stuff was amazing.

There was so much cake, it was awesome. I was very happy at how it all turned out, I just wish more people would have showed up. It was Christmas time and so super cold so it's understandable.

So yeah, I arrived in Salt Lake and we were staying with some of Jon's friends for the week before Christmas then we headed to Sacramento for Christmas and New Year with his family. It's about a 9 hour drive and right before we were going to arrive I started freaking out because I was so nervous and I had Jon pull over at a target so I could do make up and change my gross sweaty T-shirt... I sweat when I drive... it's a nervous thing I think.

Christmas was good. Different, but good. I FaceTimed with my mum and 'had' christmas dinner with them. That was fun. It was definitely hard. Jon tried to over compensate and bought me some pretty awesome presents. Like Season 1 and 2 of Buffy and a Kettle... everyone loves an electric kettle.

While in Sacramento we visited San Francisco and Old Town Sacramento. Both were pretty amazing. The highlight of San Francisco was seeing Bushman. We did the pier, and walked around that area, then went to the Golden Gate Bridge, and we also went down Lombard street (the most crooked street), and we were trying to get to China Town but the traffic was so crazy. It was like we went there on the busiest day of the year, there was just people everywhere and the traffic was terrible. If there was a city to benefit from a really good public transport system it would be there.

It was a super fun day though, and it ended with some Jamba Juice, which always makes me happy. It also started with a cheeky wee photo outside the pixar building. There was nothing to see other than the gate, but it was still fun.

The New year rolled in and we headed back to Utah a few days after.

I got to hang out with Marcus, and Natalie and I got in touch with the Apple store manager in Salt Lake to touch base. They were all rewarding experiences.

Marcus and I did sushi one night and his ordering skills blow my mind. Seriously. He has fantastic ordering.

Natalie and I did swimming, and hot tub and then Whole Foods for lunch and the mall before Jon came to get me. That was also super fun. I love hanging out with her Swedishness.

Blair was also in town for a bit and I got to meet her intended and pig out on Chuck A Rama. There's always room for the Chuck. Fact.

And we hung out with Jon's friend Dan a few times as well, seeing many an awesome movie, like the King's Speech, and the Green Hornet. We also hit up a nickle arcade? A what you ask? yes a Nickle arcade... a large room filled with old arcade machines that all cost a nickle — 5 cents. It was fun. Except some of the machines were broken and would swallow money, it was so lame.

We also did a Jazz game and haggled for tickets outside with scalpers and saved money because we got the tickets for less than they were originally bought for. That was a super fun night. Live basketball was definitely better than on the TV stuff.

All the while looking for work and apartments, and trying to work out how everything was going to work.

While there Sundance also happened which was fun. We did a movie together and Jon did a couple on his own or with Dan. We went to park city the day before for a kind of job thing, and the buzz there was great, so many busy excited people. No one famous though. It was fun to be a part of again. I really enjoy sundance.

We had to leave Utah before I wanted to — I think Jon is happy to be anywhere but Utah — I was sad to go because there was so many people I wanted to see and it was hard because Jon always had to drive me everywhere. We headed to St George where his Mum was looking after her parents for a couple of weeks and stayed with his Grandma. On the way there Jon was feeling sick so I was driving and we got a burst tyre miles from any kind of civilisation. It just seemed like the icing on the cake. Just constantly being kicked while we are down. A kind man stopped and helped us out, and did far beyond he ever should have, it was unreal. It was a rough day though. I ended up with blood and oil all over my trousers and Jon ended up having to lay down $00 for a new tyre. It was disgusting.

While there we did a day trip to Las Vegas and that was super crazy. The last time I was in Vegas I left my camera in the hotel by accident and got very little pictures. So it was good to go overboard this time and take hundreds of shots. There's not much to do in vegas other than wander around and lap up the atmosphere and see the insides of the cool hotels. It was a nice temperature, warm with a slight breeze. Very summery feeling.

It was a great day.

That was the Saturday by the Tuesday we were on the road again and on our way to California. It was the longest most heinous trip of my life. I would go as far as saying it was the worst day ever. We drove from St George to Sacramento via Vegas and Bakersfield. I was sick because I was allergic to St George or Vegas or something and had really bad headaches and congestion. I was grouchy and jon was not happy at having to drive so far (12 hours it took... it was forever).

Everything was just bad. There was very little conversation or laughs. It was horrid.

So we're back in Sacramento area, living with Jon's parents who are lovely as pie for having us, and super lovely to be around. we've been here two weeks and we fill our time with job searches and playing card games. It's tough not having a friends base around like we did in Utah. It gives us very little to do during the day or evening.

I've been here almost 3 months now, which means in the next two weeks we will either be getting married or I'll be coming home. We seem to have the conversation every single week, or day it sometimes feels like, with nothing being resolved. We're just hoping and wishing and praying for some kind of job to work out for Jon. It seems irresponsible getting married when there is no income or prospect of one. It's hard to do know what the best option is.

11 has not turned out to be as epic as I had been anticipating, and i've been anticipating it for a very long time. I love 11. I just hope it turns around. :)

Nutshell.

2010-11-20T14:36:00.001Z

Life in a nutshell.

I've been swimming 2.5 times (I think) since my last blog post, and I swam awesome... don't ask me to remember the specific stats.

Car failed it's MOT so i'm just leaving her to rot, or selling her for spares or repair.

I booked my flight and I leave scotland (possibly forever) on december 14th.

I handed in my notice at work and finish up there the week before the 14th.

I am currently on work holiday. Yayy.

I almost went to London for work for a week, but because of the world trade fair I couldn't get a hotel.

For the past two weeks I've been working until 8pm every night except Saturdays.

Yesterday was my first day off that I didn't have to set an alarm clock for and still get up super early for 15 days, sleeping in until 11 felt amazing.

I've been watching all of the Harry Potter movies, in this order: 5, 6, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

My wee brother turned 18 and there was a lot of cake.

For his birthday we're going to go see Jackass 3D... Oh yeah!!!

I went to see Due Date with Toni and there was a middle eastern man next to me with stinky breath who kept laughing so hard he was leaping out his seat, and he kept saying things like 'oh my goodness' and 'oh no' at some of the ridiculous or tense parts.

I also went to see the Social Network with Toni.

Toni's here.

It's awesome.

We have hot chocolated a couple of times and been all around awesome.

November 5th happened and I saw loads of fireworks with claire and we played with sparklers.

I attended one funeral, conveniently on my last day off before yesterday.

I also had lunch after the funeral with nicola, stuart and their cute family as well as Kate and David Browning.

My mum left and went to Ireland for several weeks after she retired back at the beginning of October.

I was left to look after my wee brother and that turned into hell. He was very messy and very very lazy when it came to doing anything house wise.

My Mum is back now... which is awesome.

It's Thanksgiving in my Sister's house today, so I'm going over to get my scran on later.

Random baby fact

2010-10-08T23:29:00.001+01:00

Most nights when I go to bed I breathe a huge sigh of relief and absolutely love the fact that I am horizontal. Sometimes I get giddy about it and wiggle a bit and exclaim how excited I am to be in bed and not have to get out for around eight hours.

The other night I was doing this and my mum was laughing at me and I told her that it's not just the fact that it's bed, it's the fact that I am horizontal. I LOVE BEING HORIZONTAL.

About 45 seconds later, she replied with 'Well that makes sense, because when were you a baby you would hate to be held while you were going to sleep. I would just put you in your bed and you would go to sleep on your own.'

Horizontal. And wiggling.

Dreams

2010-10-08T23:26:00.001+01:00

Last night I had a dream about hiding from unwanted visitors, and we were all lying on the floor of a house hoping they would go away, because they would just come and trash the place or ruin our lives...it was totally tense, because we were scared to move or do anything in the house for hours... and then, in another dream, I was in a house with some creepy guy and other random creepy friends that I couldn't recognise trying to kill a really really really creepy person. We squashed him and froze him into an ice circle and then made a hole in the floorboards and dropped him back into his own flat and smashed him... but then he defrosted and pulled himself together and then hired acrobats to hang from the ceiling on their acrobat ropes so that they would witness if we tried to kill him again. We kept throwing things at him through the hole in his ceiling/our floor but he kept dodging them.

Weird.

So... my interpretation, using my source material below and knowing my own self would indicate that in dream one with the hiding I am not willing to accept certain aspects of a situation because it would ruin everything and change everything and although they people outside that want to come out might be fun and exciting they are totally lame and will ruin my life and i refuse to change because they are unwanted, but they might actually have some kind of news to reveal to me that I don't want to know because everything will be lame.

And my second dream the person we were trying to kill was insignificant, I've no idea who they were, but I do know that they were annoying, and I think that might be an aspect of myself that I want to eliminate, I find myself gross and annoying currently... and that person we were killing was a repulsive, vile, grotesque human being. I don't know what he had done, but he made me sick. I was also mostly watching the attempted killing which makes me think it might mean That I'm just watching as someone else has to deal with my grossness, and if the killing was based on anger emotions it seems to be that I am just watching as someone else who makes me angry is being eliminated, but won't go away.... meaning that I won't do anything myself about it, but i'm happy to let other people do something about it.

Given that there were acrobats, I'm thinking that the reason I'm angry is that there is not a good balance in my life and that is causing me to want to resolve and 'take care of' the angering source.

Weird.

Hmmmmm.

Acrobat
To see or do acrobats in your dream, suggest that you need to better balance aspects of your life. It could also mean that fears will prevent you from achieving your goals.
Visitor
To have a visitor in your dream, signifies that some important news or information will soon be revealed to you. It may also suggest that love is just around the corner. Alternatively, a visitor indicates that you are experiencing a new phase in your life. If the visitor is unwelcome, then it indicates your refusal to change.

To dream that you are a visitor, suggests that you need to look at the overall picture on some issue. You need to gain a wider perspective on things.

Hiding
To dream that you are hiding, suggests that you are keeping some secret or withholding some information. You may not be facing up to a situation or dealing with some issue. However, you may be getting ready to reveal something and confess before somebody finds out. In particular, to dream that you are hiding from some authority figure (police, parent, teacher...), implies feelings of guilt.

To dream that someone is hiding, indicates that you are looking for a sense of security and protection.

Murder
To dream that you have committed a murder, indicates that you are putting an end to an old habit and a former way of thinking. This could also refer to an end to an addiction. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you have some repressed aggression or rage at yourself or at someone. Note also that dreams of murder occur frequently during periods of depression.
To dream that you witness a murder, indicates deep-seated anger towards somebody. Consider how the victim represents aspects of yourself that you want to destroy or eliminate.

Killing
To dream that you kill someone, indicates that you are on the verge of losing your temper and self-control. Consider the person you have killed and ask yourself if you feel any rage towards him or her in your waking life. Your dream may be expressing some hidden anger. Alternatively, you may be trying to kill an aspect of yourself that is represented by the person killed. Identify the characteristics of this person and ask yourself which of these qualities you are trying to put an end to.

Cold September Rain.

2010-09-29T13:35:00.001+01:00

It's so rainy outside. It's so rainy and it's my day off so I don't have to go outside, there are no requirements binding me to leaving the house today, and that makes me pleased... it's horrid out there.

Apparently it's been a month if not more since my last teen angst rant and update.

It also appears that I had a birthing day during my silence.

I was off work from the 1st September until the 12th. Awesome!

I had a birthingday on the 5th and I didn't do much else other than see friends, hang around the house, go on random walks with the mother and brother and see the ol' flatmates from Dundee. It was awesome though.

I didn't make any resolutions this year, nor do I remember what my last and first songs were, it was quite the odd birthday. I did however, have TWO CAKES!!!

What was that? Two cakes? Yes TWO CAKES!

One was made by Patsy the awesome, who I am in Nursery at church with, and the other was a traditional mother cake.

Both were awesome. I'm in the process of finding my battery charger for my other camera so I can show pictures of the Patsy cake. Yes.

It was honestly one of the best weeks ever because the cakes appeared to be never ending.

The day before birthing day The Mother Brother and I went to the Queen Elizabeth Forest Park... love it. And we ended up climbing a massive steep hill. We thought we were just following the blue path, but the blue path had a great ascension. It was fun though.

I love forest.

There was another walk that we went on towards the end of my time off work, and the path led us through a loch that had dried a little and turned to a marsh, and the sun went down fairly rapidly and we were squelching about in the marsh in the dark, with my 5 year old niece who kept randomly falling over as well. She took it well though, and eventually we had to abandon the non-existence path and make for the road and walk back to the car on the road. It was crazy. It was one of those ones that is kind of scary, but totally fun. If you stood too long in the one place you started sinking as well. Needless to say we were all soaked by the time we got back to the car.

My crafting has hit an all time low, I've not made anything in a while. Although I did make some awesome heart and initial cushions for a flatwarming of a couple of friends from work. I totally forgot to take pictures though, but they were awesome I can assure you.

That flat warming because quite the event because when I left around 2ish I discovered my car had been broken into. LAME. The funny part about it was I got in the car, sat down, looked at the papers and books thrown everywhere and thought 'Oh I'm so silly, I threw my own stuff everywhere and I don't remember.' Then I continued to blame myself when I saw the passenger door unlocked, and the back seats pulled down and my spare tyre in the main portion of my car rather than in it's cave of the boot. I went to grab my seatbelt and then noticed my door. TOTALLY HEINOUS!!! Smash a window car thieves. The yanked out the entire top half of the door about 4 inches, and didn't even scratch the paint. Mental.

The cost of the damage sustained to my car was £670. My insurance company won't pay for it. So I'm currently in a state of limbo, because I was planning to sell my car when I leave I have two choices, pay for the repair and try and get it back to sellable standard, or have the insurance company pay me for the value of the car.

I got Big John and Wee John's garage (you might remember this from the welding fiasco last year and also the wee john pishing himself on the train a couple of years before that) to batter the door back in last Thursday. I wish I had taken pictures... That morning I had to drive a friend to the airport, and I was wearing a raincoat in the car to stop me getting wet. The rain was torrential and there was flooding everywhere, and I had to drive through a massive puddle and at one point my wheels were no longer touching tarmac I was actually doing a chitty chitty bang bang. Further up that same road I watched a car's engine give up and start emitting white smoke because it had been sitting in a big puddle too long, and then someone crashed into the back of him because of all the smoke. It was a complete chaotic morning, and I was soaked because of the door hanging open.

It was actually a major depressant in my life for a while because it was all I could think about. Now that it's back in place I can actually think properly and decide what to do about the door. LAME.

At first I thought the thieving gypos and stolen nothing, but then I realised they had stolen my coppers, a watch belonging to an old friend that tried to fix my brakes years ago and then left his watch behind so I've had it in the boot for 5 years, my scissors that I keep i the car for cutting the cable ties that hold my hub caps on, my wee brother's torch glasses that Jon and I brought to Stirling in January AND.... AND MY OAKLEY'S.

We should have a minute's silence for my Oakleys. Long may they reign. I loved those sunglasses.

So the moral of the story is, keep nothing in your car ever, and leave the doors unlocked. Fact.

I also spent some of my holiday trying to sell things. I sold my old goth boots, a Troll, and I cleaned my microwave from uni to sell, but no one wants it. If anyone wants an awesome microwave point them in my direction.

I've been back at work for a couple of weeks now, and it's been busy, but busy means the time passes faster.

And now, for some pictures. :)

Birthday cake made by Mother. :) This was always the cake she would make for my childhood birthdays. HAPPY!

CANDLES!!! YEAH!

Blowing Face.

More Blowing... The more blowing that happens the older you are. I think this means I'm getting pretty on in years. Jon's still older though.

Blowing out candles is also quite unattractive. MELTED FACE!

Those relighting candles. I got them to go out eventually.

Zero joining in the festivities.

Brother eating chocolate buttons.

Candles?

Birthday scrabble. YES!

The beginning of the marsh walk as the sun began to set. All of the marsh walk photos were taken by Kris, he's been borrowing my camera for his college projects.

Ghost Me.

Blurry Pamer Pie.

Such a nice shot... well done brother of mine.

The Mother and I emerging from the black.

I was showing him how to use the long shutter speed to get awesome light shots.

And he proceeded to use the long shots in the car as well on the drive home.

I think we were near a green traffic light. It looks like slimer just got sucked into the ghost busters' ghost catcher thing.

I love this one, it looks like music.

MELTED FACE. Ahhhhh!

I am the light face, all light comes from me.

Our soaking results. Mother.

Brother.

Me.

Niece. She is also missing in this picture. She was so wet she was stripped and wrapped in blankets when we got back to the car.

The Saturday my car was broken into was also Roadshow Saturday, and Glasgow ward did the Princess Bride, and although I might be slightly bias, I think it was the funniest and most awesome, and the only one that didn't have some kind of weird church reference. I'm never a fan of roadshows that have random missionaries or bishops or something appear in them. LAME. It's like a total cop out. this is Kris/Wesley climbing the impossible cliffs.

Prince Humperdink and the Six Fingered man.

The wedding ceremony of Princess Buttercup and Prince Humperdink. That is my cousin's husband as the minister, and he was very good at the speech impediment R thing.

The Spaniard and the six fingered man about to battle.

The happy ending.

THE CAR. From the inside. I honestly never noticed until i went to get my seatbelt.

Massive gap.

Sunday's game of scrabble. Wicked awesome. The Mother played, and the Brother won. The brother won birthday scrabble too. What's up with that?

And once I find my battery charger I will blog pictures of the other awesome birthday cake. :)

Tribal envy

2010-08-25T12:33:00.001+01:00

So today is officially my day off. Yayy.

And I wanted to go swimming and I was thinking of getting up early to do that so I could avoid the general public at all costs, but no joy. I woke at 11 and was totally sad.

Last week when I went there were too many people. I like to not see any member of the general public on my day off. Call me crazy, but I get an overdose of them every single day that I'm at work, so I'm happy to isolate myself. :)

I've been watching a TV show called 'Can Fat Teens Hunt?' and it's been amazing, it's about 10 fat teenagers from the UK that are sent to an ancient tribe in Borneo and they have to eat rice, frogs, and other such random things that you would find in the jungle.

and they have to make their own find, find their own food, catch their own food, and cleanse their own water.

It was unreal watching some of it. So so lazy.

It was actually crazy. But I was also slightly envious of the tribe. They have their house, they aren't cold, they have each other, their entire day is based upon preparing food and finding food. That's all they have to worry about. No bills, no taxes, no car insurance, no adverts about car insurance, no actual possessions.

It was actually amazing. I am so envious. I wish there was no stress, or pressure of having to live in the west. We are all required to achieve a certain level of success if we want to have a 'good' 'happy' life, but it's all prescribed nonsense. I have no idea when or who set those rules. But it sickens me.

There could be nothing more rewarding than raring and growing your own food and being entirely self sufficient. And not being completely overloaded with images of 'happy' people on TV making you feel depressed because their lives are complete because they use X-brand washing powder. It actually makes me sick.

And even if we do have enough money to buy our food the food is completely processed and flavour enhanced and completely toxic to our bodies.

The world is a mess, and sometimes I think this is it. We're all waiting for some further huge disaster, and life changing event, but this, how the world is right now, is so far from how things should be, that it is terrifying.

I don't look forward to farming, because i'm 100% lazy to it, but I do think that if there was no financial debt to satanic companies, and no constant bombardment of products and adverts and colours, our brains would be able to just relax.

This got really heavy really quickly.

All these thoughts are based off this image

those are all the world possessions of Ghandi.

It's completely cathartic to think about.

So yeah, It's my day off, and I want to be fit and healthy but I want to not see any of the public. It makes for a difficult situation.

Here's an awesome picture of the day to be happy about:

I also watched toddler in tiaras the other night and it was sublime. I loved it, but I felt like I had to hate it at the same time. It was all about little kids in beauty pageants, just like Little Miss Sunshine. Amazing.

Neurons

2010-08-25T12:17:00.001+01:00

I've not lifted a book or magazine in a long time. My life seems to revolve around doing crafts for weddingness because if i'm not then I think I'm holding things up. There's an odd psychology in that.

Anyway. During my sister's wedding week thing, she gave me her copy of 'The short second life of Bree Tanner' to read. Yes, I know. It was an easy read though, and it entertaining although it was purely random and completely lacking in proper story. It was like Breaking Dawn all over again, but shorter and a little more focused (because it had to tie into eclipse).

That got me interesting in actually reading again and I picked up 'Buyology' by Martin Lindstrom. I had been in Barnes and Noble in 2008 a few weeks before meeting Jon himself, and seen this book sitting on a 'new arrivals' table and I wondered why i'd never heard of it while doing masters, the whole 'new arrival' thing was lost on me.

Anyway. I started reading it. That was around the time I was going NaNoWriMo and meeting the ol' true love. So needless to say the book was shunned and nothing past 10 pages was read. I tried again on other occasions to start reading it. I even brought it back and forth to the US with me while visiting Jon, but still nothing past 10 pages was achieved.

After reading Bree Tanner, I picked it up and i'm not half way through, which I think is definitely a feat. And boy is it interesting, it's all about subliminal advertising, and what imagery is actually successful in advertising. It kind of goes into ever facet of advertising. It's good.

That in turn, led me to pick up the last issue of Adbusters I'd had posted out to me. My subscription has expired and there's no point renewing it for 3 years when my address will 100% be changing before they can send me 2 issues.

So I will bide my time and hopefully not miss and issue. I think i've been subscribing since 2006/7. I find it an enjoyable, mind-freeing read.

There was a short article, which I have discovered is part of a long long article that said:

Failure to learn new things kills neurons. People who vegetate before the TV are killing their neurons. People who never do anything new or meet anyone new are killing their neurons. People who never read or learn a new game or build a model airplane or cook up a new recipe or learn a new language are killing their neurons. Mind you, many middle-aged professionals are killing their neurons. They’re doing what they are good at, what they already know, what they learned to do years ago. They’re pursuing careers, raising children, cooking dinner, returning phone calls, reading the newspaper. They are busy and accomplished, but they are not learning anything new. If you are not learning anything new, you are killing your neurons. To keep your neurons, learn something new every day. Begin now. Doing so requires no particular genius.

This actually terrified me.

I am killing my brain by just being stagnant and not progressing myself nor my brain.

I also found it interesting because I have very little desire to do the design work that I am 'supposed' to. The design work that is expected by a branded society, the website, the business card, etc. That's all someone else's idea of design and branding, and I find it so hard to be motivated to design within the confines of someone else's long-ago made decision.

The passage above gives me a bit more insight into why, my brain must be absolutely gagging for me to not rest on any laurels and push it to new levels. But I'm far too lazy for that these days. But I think that's why I've latched onto the extreme over load of crafting and wedding planning because it's something new and something i've never done before.

It's not that I think i'm the best designer ever and i've reached the pinnacle of design, far from it, but my brain has tired of doing it, and wants to try out new things.

Perhaps i'm shoe horning excuses into my own lack of interest. But it seems to make sense.

Everything that I need to do before moving to the US just seems bitterly dull, like selling things, and packing things. And it's because i've done it before. There's no learning in it. There's just remembering how to do it, and redoing it over and over again.

Even when it comes to crafting once i've learned how to do one specific thing I move on and do something else even although an abundance of the original thing is required, i'd rather make something new.

Maybe I have a short attention span, and in fact, this is a bad quality. I've found that with hobbies throughout my whole life, I tend to give up on things quickly because I know the basics and I have no desire to perfect it.

So there must be a balance, between continuing to do what you know until it's perfect, and desiring to learn new things. Hopefully i'll find that soon otherwise nothing will ever get done. :)

111

2010-08-25T11:58:00.000+01:00

I have a playlist that makes and updates itself. It is based on the top 111 songs that I listen to. The least listened to song has been played over 40 times, so the playlist is pretty competitive to get on to if you are a new song.

I've been listening to said playlist recently and a couple of songs cropped up that gave me the warm fuzzies.

Going Nowhere by Cut Copy

Japan by CocoRosie (just the first 30 seconds of this)

This is their cute little faces actually singing it... Gosh I love them. I saw them once in concert, but the night was terrible because some random and her friends ruined it by talking really loudly the whole way through. It was so stupid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HprRr_LxBFA

(embedding was disabled on this video)

So. Both of these songs were on the phone I had to buy while I was in Utah in 2007 because my own phone couldn't handle the sim card being switched over. It still can't, it gives me a lot of fuss, but I had to buy this to make my social life easier. :)

Seriously, those seven weeks are still, possibly the best ever. The pure freedom, the independence of living in Otto's attic and getting the trax to whole foods or the temple. It was actually sublime.

The cocorosie song was my ring tone (just the first 30 seconds), so everytime I hear it I think of one of the newly made friends at the time calling me.

And the Cut Copy track was my alarm clock. So I associate it, always, with waking up and having an adventure to go on. It never became a burden to be woken up.

Gosh it was actually so amazing.

It's not because of any particular thing or person, it was the whole experience, properly being on my own, somewhere so utterly far away, and having to sink or swim.

I hacked into the neighbour's wifi and was at least able to navigate my way around the city, and find swimming pools, and go to institute, and just have an all around whale of a time. Then Antoinette was there, and it was awesomer, and oh my it was just insane with awesomeness.

And we snuck up on Marcus and appeared on his doorstep, and had crazy hallowe'en shenanigans, and I drove on the wrong side of the road for ages, and it was always so warm, and autumny.

Huge sigh. It was actually amazing.

Slight overkill with the reminiscing. Every other trip after that wasn't the same because i'd done it before. There's just something completely exhilarating about doing something completely for the first time and not knowing if you can do it.

swimming swife in the fast lane.

2010-08-18T16:12:00.001+01:00

Just like living life in the fast lane but not.

I went swimming today. Hoooooray.

The schools went back on monday and so it is now safe to leave the house on my day off and go swimming.

Here are the stats we've all been waiting for.

200m FC
200m BS
200m FC legs
100m Butterfly
100m BS legs
100m FC arms only
100m BS arms only

200m FC flippers and fins
200m FC
400m FC flippers and fins
200m FC

100m Swim down.

And all in an hour.

I ache though. I tell you. There's been complete and utter deterioration of the muscle strength over the summer holiday. Lame.

So it hurts, and I was kind of slowish, but I did it within the hour still, or just a little over. I'm pretty tired now though.

Other things of note.

Some guy asked me for shampoo in the shower and he took HUNDREDS... gypo.

I was swimming in the fast lane because it pushes me... fact, and there was a beastin' woman that was so fast it terrified me, she only swam in sets of 50m though, so I think that has to count for something.

And when I left the pool there was proper torrential that I got soaked in, and it was miserable.

And I ate eggs chopped up in a cup, with soldiers, while watching murder she wrote. Then I watched an episode of buffy. I was planning on going to the fabric shop and seeing Salt (I <3 Angelina), but that was a fail because time is my enemy and I technically had my niece to kind of look after for a short time frame. Lame.

Another Post?

2010-08-12T16:54:00.000+01:00

Yeah... I'm just like the buses... wait for ages then three come at once.... 'I'll take jokes from the 90s for $10'.

So.

I just got my tetanus injection which cost me a grand total of £3, rather than the £25 they wanted to charge me in London.

I just hope that the £22 saving is worth the paperwork hassle, because now I have to show an incomplete immunisation record that was given to me by the London medical people with a piece of paper that looks completely forged that says I got my injection today.

Here's hoping it all works out for me. £22 is a lot of money. :)

Okay, so at the bottom of my immunisation record it says I'm patient number 62!

Really? Yeah really.

How can I be so low. I imagine there's hundreds more patients there now, given that it's hard to get an appointment.

I also imagine that the people who are 1 - 61 will be of different ages, and some, therefore, may have passed on, making me even more of a doctor celebrity.

Okay, so the reason for this post is that on the way to the doctors, which is literally a 3 minute drive, I turned into a side street and there were loads of police, my first thought was some kind of crime scene, but then the road I usually park in was closed with no crime scene around. I parked in a car park of a supermarket just up the hill a little and then started legging it (in the pouring rain no less) back down the hill to the surgery.

Then the sound of bagpipes. Seriously.

There was a 200 piece pipe band coming from this wee resource centre and piping down the side street and off onto the main street. It was crazy. Pretty impressive, but yet completely not surprising. Things like that happen all the time in my head. Kilts, hats, pipes. It was awesome.

Then when I left the surgery they were close to getting back to their starting point and I was sitting in a queue of traffic waiting on the side street, so then our road got cleared to make space, so I never got to see them again properly.

It was pretty amazing though, I wish I had had my camera with video recording on it.... or an iPhone. Lame.

One day, when I do have an iPhone I bet nothing exciting will ever happen to me.

:)

I have a new want...

2010-08-12T10:59:00.001+01:00

... and its name is Aquabeat.

I was in a sports shop yesterday and happened upon the speedo aquabeat.

It's an MP3 player for the water. SERIOUSLY!

I think i will need to be better at going swimming, and in the US and working again before I can have the awesome, but at least I have a goal. :)

Bows

2010-08-12T00:36:00.001+01:00

Photo and update time. Oh yeah.

This is stretching far back.

Sometimes you have the blogging fever, sometimes you don't. I haven't had it all year, but i've been trying to combat that, with nothing but major fails.

Anyway.

Using some photographic awesomeness I will attempt to do a quick fill in.

I'm still working... wooooooo.

Zero is still alive, although I have been tempted to 'dispose' of her because she had a couple of weeks of being really clingy and affectionate and it drove me crazy. She even fish juiced all over me while I slept one early morning. It was so gross. All over me, my phone, and anything else lying around my pillow. That was a bad morning. I felt robbed of sleep.

Jon and I are still not together on a permanent basis, but we're working on that (and I am slowly going mad).

It was Zero's birthday and instead of making her cake I bought myself a tiny domino's pizza. Best pizza ever, especially with the garlic and herb crust dipping sauce. I'm so in love with that. It had the best ever topping on it as well, chicken, sweetcorn and pineapple. Nom nom nom.

So yeah, best Zero birthday ever. She's now five and should be going to school, but I'm just going to home school her because she is still having toilet issues and that's just mortifying :)

On an update on my last blog about the trainers, I went for...... drum roll.......

The white ones. They are amazing. THEY HAVE A STRAP. My mum asked me what the purpose of the strap was and I promptly told her it's there to be awesome. Which it does a very good job of being.

Awesome is its speciality.

It was Amelia's birthday as well (who is my cousin's small child) and she was one one one. ONE. So young. Kate and I had birthday breakfast on her behalf, and then went small child swimming, which was fun. I hadn't been swimming in ages. I mostly bobbed and splashed, and walked around in my flippers for the fun, and realised how fun flippers are when you're not training with them. I did swim a few lengths as well but I can't remember the stats.

I really do need to swim for real again.

The past two months have been crazy because my back has totally starting hurting, and getting worse, and now it's onto this weird nerve pain. It's not good. The doctor won't do anything either. It's so lame. And I shouldn't even start on the NHS. I think the NHS is fabulous, it's just horrific that the people who pay for it are the last to actually get any of the benefits from it, all the money is spent on caring for those who have self-inflicted their ills through alcohol abuse, drug abuse, smoking, etc. That drives me crazy.

Anyway. Happier things.

Work has been crazy the past few weeks, just loads and loads of people and really really long shifts.

I've actually almost been a year at apple. It will be a year come September 19th. I find that crazy. Seriously crazy. It is officially the longest I've ever had a job. Every other job has ended within 10 months.

So biggest news of the past month would be my sister's wedding. It happened last Friday, and I was the official photographer. It's something I would never EVER rush to do again. In fact, if I ever have to take a photograph again it will be too soon. I shot around 1000 images, and barely half were good enough to even consider being edited. It's kind of crazy. My finger was aching by the end of the night, and it was weird to try and be a guest as well as be a photographer, especially when most of the guests knew me as Lola's sister and had very little respect for the photographer part of me that day.

To help things swimmingly the day was miserable. The sky was grey, not even over cast and sunny behind it, grey, completely grey. It was also raining for a lot of it, but we did get a few photos outside.

To try to get the best of the sister and her weddingness I hired a lens, which was entirely the idea of Chris Daines, my photographic hero, he also picked the lens, and tried to give me as much tutorial on using my camera as possible. I've had my camera for four years. I should really know how to use it, but really I just push buttons, and turn wheels and hope it looks good.

There was so much pressure, and so many people around, it was so hard to try to think and to be creative on the spot with so many eyes watching. HARD.com. Wedding photographers are a breed unto themselves. I think I would make an excellent second shooter though, I have the 'sneaking up on people' ability.

I can't actually show any photos of the Bride herself because she's not even seen them and I think that would be totally unfair to her, but there are some of me and my beasting awesome tan courtesy of St Tropez. With a tan I actually felt warmer. It was weird.

I'm also Ceilidh dancing with my Donna best friend's husband. I danced that once and also a Gay Gordons. And the rest of the time I was photographing or talking to the skillso millso quickly.

At the end of the night I threw on my converse and hoody and helped tidy, and I looked like this:

I even made that frog face the whole time.... kidding.

:)

I wish I could show you more pictures... sadly nooooo. Me will have to do.

How amazing is that beasting lens though. I think it's amazing, and one day I will buy one for real and it will be mine and I will call it beastin' lens.

:)

So yeah... update state fate late mate.

There's tonnes of my family still around until tomorrow, and then they all officially will have left by next week, but it's kind of cool having people around. I likes it.

And today I went to the craft shop. That's always a riot. Ohhhh the riot. :)

I've been getting my crafting on and it's awesome. I keep finding new ideas online of things I love and that I NEED to have as part of my wedding. I fear that eventually it will be the biggest random miss match. But that's fine by me. I'm super excited. Fingers crossed for a 2010 wedding :):):)

Oh, and the dress I was wearing in those pictures was an option for a bridesmaid dress, but no one wanted it, so I thought, Well I want a new dress.... so I bought it. Pleased. It has bows, and I love it. It also had amazing shoulder pads, but I cut them out. Cut it out.

Shoe Dilemma

2010-07-08T01:00:00.002+01:00

I need a different pair of shoes for work because my feet are going to fall off if I continue wearing converse every day. During the winter I had my Uggs and my black biker-y boots to change things a little. Now I just have the converse.

So...

I was shoe shopping with Jon himself and found this awesome pair that are growing on me:

the issue with these is that I can't find them in a 5.5, 6 is too big, 5 is too small, it's the story of my life.

I was on the Nike website, where they do do half sizes but sadly not the same colours, and I found these — how awesome is the strap... AMAZING! :

These ones would fit, however I don't know if I can wear white... they are white. WHITE! Ahhh. I do wear white Chuck Ts. Hmmmm. There is a strap. Hmmmm.

What to do what to do.

Veee Zaaaa

2010-07-07T16:32:00.001+01:00

Because of the unique relationship I find myself in, when Jon comes to visit every second is Jon and Vikki time, nothing can be lost.

I packed him up, and I packed a bag of mine up and sent him home on the plane this morning. When I say sent I really mean pleaded with him to stay and had moistened eyes.

The past three weeks have been so fast, and the rest of the summer is pretty much null and void. I hate being away from that love of mine.

So three weeks of awesome included: An attempt to find the Devil's Pulpit (which was a fail) and a trip to rowardennon to see the 'other' side of Loch Lomond; an awesome temple trip to Preston; a night shift for iPhone 4 and a subsquent day of Kris and Jon playing Wii and me sleeping and then going to see the new iPhone; a Dundee/St Andrews trip that involved seeing my old art school, showing Jon all of the places I lived, the 24 hour bakery, throwing Jellyfish into the sea on St Andrew's beach and ended with me getting pooped on by a bird (Jon has photos of this and also found it hysterically funny); a walk around Mugdoch country park with my mother; an amazing Patsy dinner; previews of eclipse; watching greenberg; stirling castle with a friend that randomly showed up in Glasgow at church (she's from Utah); a lot of eating at wagamamas, mcdonalds, going to asda, watching who wants to be a millionaire, and other such random tv shows and movies; me working a lot and Jon hanging out in the city centre on his own. There was actually nothing better than finishing work and having Jon meet me immediately after. It was the best.

Our last couple of days together I developed I random chesty tickley throat cough which made me feel pretty heinous, so we didn't do much in the run up to the departure.

Other random awesome things to mention is that we got a third quarter pounder when we only wanted two; the second bag I sent with Jon with my skateboard (yus!) and some shoe boxes and coats and stuff wasn't charged by the airline — I stood with Jon while he checked in this morning and waited to pay for the bag, but they didn't mention it... so they may just have charged his credit card or something, we'll find out in a few days I suppose... if they haven't then I am very pleased at getting one load of stuff across without having to shell out unnecessary cash. I'm still livid that we have to pay for a second bag these days... utter rubbish. Jon and I had our engage-aversary on the 1st of July... And I GOT MY VISA....

I GOT MY VISA, I GOT MY VISA, I GOT MY VISA.

I blurred all the important identity/visa stealing bits out... I hope. Gosh I am so excited. It expires on December 23rd which means I have six months to get out there and move. Which seems like ages, but 6 months went a little quick before, and I do hope that it's not down to the grind. I don't want to be here when winter starts. No siree. I kind of don't want to be here past September, and in actual fact wanted to be married before I turned 27, but that one is looking very unlikely. Sigh.

It's here though, no more waiting on illusive paperwork. It's done. Well part one anyway, but the rest of the parts don't keep Jon and I apart, which is the nice thing.

So the visa wasn't just a piece of paper in my passport, it is accompanied by this huge envelope which I think weighs about 1000000lbs. It's so heavy. Okay maybe like 3lbs, but it's still heavy, and that needs to be my carry on. It's huge. Seriously.

I knew not to open it, because I remember Toni opened hers and had to send it back to the embassy for them to reseal. It's so tempting to take a peek. I'm pretty sure it's just all my forms that I've already submitted and seen.

The two items came in a larger maroon plastic envelope... maroon? I do not know why... and I had to take a picture of the amazing way they spelled my name. I'm glad they were a million times stricter on identification for signing for the package otherwise I would never have got it.

I kind of got excited taking this picture thinking about my first piece of mail with my new name. New name new name la la la la la la.

gosh, I can't wait to be in the US, with Jon all the time ALL. THE. TIME. and getting on with life. Excited. Seriously. I love that boy, and things make a lot more sense and are a lot happier when he's about.

Love him.

Rhapsody in Blue.

2010-06-13T23:14:00.001+01:00

When I was in high school, and the Spice Girls were out, and everyone loved a Zig a Zig a and were choosing which spice girl they most identified with, sporty, baby, scary, ginger or posh, I had no idea who the spice girl's were, I could, however, tell you who Tchaikovsky, Gershwin, Beethoven, Greg, Holst, Vivaldi, Wagner and Bizet were.

I would listen to pieces of classical music over and over until I had every instrument introduction and key change memorised, like you would do if it was a song with lyrics, you would learn the words. I learned the song, how it sounded, and how the instruments blended and complimented each other.

I actually specifically remember standing in my bedroom and 'conducting' an imaginary orchestra, no where near correct, but it felt pretty awesome in my head. That was to Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture. That's an awesome piece of music.

There was one piece in particular that was my favourite and is still my favourite and I can still 'sing' it. I used to listen to it on cassette tape while going to bed, it lasts 17 minutes and if I wasn't asleep by the end of it I felt like I had wasted 17 minutes awake. There was a time I conditioned myself to not be able to fall asleep without hearing it.

The reason for this is that it's on just now, just randomly, and it sounds amazing. Because it is so long I can't find a legitimate copy on YouTube to share this awesome delight.

I did find half though, the sound isn't great.

London Calling: Embassy and Carnage aval.

2010-06-08T13:43:00.001+01:00

So, I got back from London last night, and I was beat. I was so tired. I started watching Raising Arizona on film four with my mum and brother, but I lasted maybe an hour before I felt so unbelievably sick and decided it was time for bed. It looked like an amazing movie as well. After emptying the contents of my stomache I felt much better and was able to actually sleep. yeah for bodies.

Anyway.

London was crazy.

I left Glasgow at 2pm and was on a train going backwards for 3 hours and I was sitting next to this totally annoying guy that thought he was entitled to have his leg on my side of the seating arrangement. RUDE. Eventually he moved it when I started sewing and making eilidh's birthday card on the train.

He was such a rude guy and he kept tutting and making loud noises whenever someone moved or touched his suitcase, because it was at the top and he felt like he was the only one getting off the train and his was allowed to be at the top, even although there were tonnes of people getting off before him. People.

Anyway. I got to Crewe to catch my London connection waited for a bit and then finally got on the London train where I had two seats to myself and I slept across them for a couple of hours.

When I went to London my medical my headphones snapped before I got on the bus, I'd kind of fixed them over the past couple of weeks, but then on Saturday before I got on the train they snapped again and there was no quick fix. It sucked, so I had one ear listening the whole way up and down. So on my London train I jammed the second 'free' snapped off ear bit under my head so I had stereo again. It was wicked, but very uncomfortable. One might say that sleeping on my headphones caused them to snap in the first place, but who's pointing fingers.

I got to London about 7 and I ate an 89p cheeseburger from burger king before starting my underground journey to Eilidh's house, but not before reporting three huge suitcases unattended in the train station. Things like that make me totally edgy, they were claimed by someone though, so crisis averted.

I got to eilidh's and they all looked amazing. It was her birthday and she was having a carnival themed party. The place looked amazing. She had ducks in the bath for hook a duck, and she had bean bag toss, and a comedy inflatable punching bag with comedy sized gloves. Seriously maximum effort. The place looked mega.

Seven hours later I had fallen asleep slumped across a bed after fixing the base of it (I had taken travel sickness tablets and they always make me uncontrollably drowsy) and the place looked like utter carnage. Eilidh was lucky enough to get everyone to leave or move the party to another house at 3, after her neighbours were totally banging on the door at 2:30. It was crazy. There was bass guitar players playing and singing, and people falling in the bath, and much laughter and hilarity.

I ended up sleeping until noon. I woke up super early but eilidh came into the room I had fallen asleep in and she shut the curtains and I was asleep again in seconds.

At noon I helped her clean and tidy, she'd been up from 8am tidying.

We were scrubbing the walls and stuff because there was face paint and red wine all over them. It was insane.

From the photos though it looked like everyone had an amazing time. I spent most of the time just walking about because I knew no one, and being tired. It was crazy intimidating and daunting, but utterly awesome, Eilidh's amigas are an amazingly fun bunch of people. I also ended up doing a 'my mother' and started washing dishes because Eilidh was getting stressed about the mess and the noise and stuff, I started helping, yeah for heping.

After we cleaned on Sunday we went for birthday dinnering at pizza express then went to Eilidh's friend Naj Bueno's house, where we watched Maid in Manhattan and rolled around the floor, or at least I did :)

We headed back to Eilidh's and reviewed some of the pictures from the night before and then I went to bed because I had the embassy at 9:30am the next morning.

I left Eilidh's at 8:15am and boy was I nervous. She gave me a banana and a scone to eat on the way to the underground. It took 10 minutes or something to walk to the station and the weight of the paperwork I had with me was 6lb seriously heavy stuff.

I got to the area of the embassy and stalled because I had to find a toilet I was that nervous. I then made it to the embassy about 9:20am and went through three security and identity checks before getting inside. The inside was nothing like I thought it would be. I imagined it to be smaller, but there were about 200 people in this long room all staring at screens with numbers on them. There were eight screens, four back to back, and like 100 people on each side facing each other. If that makes sense. The screens had numbers on 2 and images of america and london on the other two, which looked like a really bad power point presentation. I sat and waited and waited.

Loads and loads of people were getting called up for their 'first' interview bit that involved finger print scanning and handing over passport, forms and other things.

I was number I-925 which meant immigrant visa and everyone else there (barr another 25 people) were on N visas meaning non-immigrant.

The pattern seemed to be 15-30 non immigrant visas to an I visa.

So it took me three hours to be seen for the first stage. three hours. We had no phones, ipods, computers or anything like that, all electronics were banned from the embassy, so it was just a big room of bored people. I actually started counting things, like chairs, and people, and the number of N-visas called before an I visa.

I wasn't actually that bored, which was quite the blessing.

There was an indian girl sitting next to me at one point and she asked my number and before I could answer a South African (white) guy turned around and started talking to her telling us his appointment was at 8:30 and he thought they were running three hours behind. While he was telling us everything about him (he was one of those guys that no matter what you ask him or what you start to say he has to interupt you with a story about him — which I think I do sometimes, and gosh I am/he was annoying). He was amusing thought. his number was called and I had to point it out to him. He was married to an american and she was living in LA and he was waiting on getting his visa. So he was an I as well I-917.

I estimated that if he was due in at 8:30 and me at 9:30 I should be called exactly one hour after him. And I was. It was wicked.

The first part of the interview process was me getting finger prints taken and handing over any documents they asked for. Forms, birth certificate, passport, police record stuff like that. I also had to pay the $350 for the visa, which, I must say, was only $120 4 months ago. LAME.

He then told me to go sit down again and wait. So I waited. And I watched numbers and counted things. Earlier in the day I estimated I would be leaving about 2:30, just as a guess, and I was right. I ended up in there for 5 hours. Crazy. I didn't even feel the time pass, perhaps it was because every number called could be your number, so there was total anticipation and excitement. Weird.

I watched for 917 to get called and sure enough around an hour later I was called up.

The consular man was amazing. he was a cute little oldish american man. He asked me to raise my right hand and swear on all my documentation that it was all true to my knowledge, and when I say all I mean all. He had 4 inches worth of paper that Jon and I had sent them in September. So it had travelled from Scotland, to Northern California, to Southern California, to the National visa center somewhere, and then to London. So I was swearing on all that information that it was true. Which it is. Can't fake a photo or an email right?

He asked me pretty flippant questions like where did you meet your fiance, how long have you been together and where are you going to live.

That was it.

He asked first how long we'd been together and I was like '18 months' and he was like. Okay.

Then he asked how we'd met and I told him the story of Maddy miller the chihuahua and going to salt lake. And he was like 'And that's how you met him?'

To which I replied, 'Oh no no, we met at church, sorry.' And he accepted my apology, it was kind of funny.

and then he asked where we would live and I named the three possible cities, but mentioned the address I'd given on all the paperwork as a hub, and he was happy with that.

He then told me I had to provide two pieces of further information, and once they received those my visa was as good as got.

I must have been with him less than 10 minutes, and that was it, over.

The amount of information I must have sent in September was so full proof there was no other hinderence, that's the only thing I can imagine.

They didn't ask to see any updated relationship stuff, no evidence we were still together, I had 5 plastic folders of things, and I used half of one. Seriously. But had I not had it, I know they would have asked for it or something.

The consular man's face lit up when I mentioned Salt Lake City. It was odd, and I remembered that two years ago when Toni went for her interview she mentioned an awesome old guy that when she said she got engaged at Adamondiamon he didn't even blink or ask what it was, but gave her a 'knowing' look and she suspected he was a member of the church. So I think from my experience, if it was the same wee man, that he must be. His face gave it away. :)

I actually had to ask twice if I was able to leave, and if things were fine. I didn't believe I finally able to leave the building.

I emerged just before 2:30 and called Eilidh from a payphone to make sure she was still at home.

I actually felt like an enormous weight, and 11 months of utter stress had been lifted off my chest. I mean, we're not done yet, but we're almost there. Just a couple of things I need to get couriered down there with my passport and then that's it. Fingers crossed.

I got back to Eilidh's about 3:30 and packed up my stuff and then we went to wagamamamamamamamamas for some scran and then I had to run and catch my train. I just about caught it, without having to run or stress, it was perfect timing.

The train on the way home was odd. I knitted, I sitted, I moved seats three times, I listened to Bat out of Hell 3 times in a row (that's almost 30 minutes killed) and yet the journey home was the same amount of time I was in the embassy but it didn't feel like the same amount. It dragged a little, but it was fine. Beats the bus that's for sure.

My mum came to pick me up as well so I didn't have to hang around Glasgow waiting to get home. Thanks awesome mum, and I ate some cake and a huge lump of cheese and that's around the time I started feeling really sick. Yeah. Not so good.

Gosh, I'm so relieved seriously. And now I can be excited for Jon coming next Tuesday. less than a week, Less than a week. Yeah!!!!

Cookiescapades.

2010-05-25T22:57:00.000+01:00

I mentioned the other day that I had made cookies. Oh yes. here are the pictures in their awesome glory.

I was given the cookies as a christmas present from a wonderful lady in the ward called Patsy, she makes the best food known to mankind and she gave out these cookies to a few lucky people, and she had a couple left over so she gave one to me and to Norma the other lady in nursery with Patsy and I.

They've sat for a few months and I decided to make them the other night. Everything in the jar is the dry ingredients and then she gave instructions on a little christmas card explaining how to make them.

Butter and eggs melted and mixed, then pour in all the dry stuff from the big jar and then mix it all and then bake it.

The biggest problem I have with baking cookies is that I have no patience to put tiny amounts on the tray and I try and squeeze as many on there as I can and just hope they don't form a giant cookie. Every time they seem to form a giant cookie. I need to get better at the actual cooking part I think.

The last two trays I did were more sparse and did come out cookie shaped rather than needing to be cut into cookie sizes and thus having straight edges.

I think the key is to not make all of them at once and have a lot more patience :)

Issues

2010-05-21T11:18:00.001+01:00

So I've had some issues with something in the first Twilight movie for a while now.

I have loads of issues...

but this one bothers me and puzzles me greatly.

I specifically remember in the book that the scene depicted below was tale telling for Bella because she thought the waitress was stunningly good looking, and extremely hot, and Edward wouldn't look at the waitress at all because he only loves bella.

Now. If this is actually what the waitress was always meant to look like then I get it, she has a kind of look and unique something about her that makes her hard not to look at, but she isn't stunningly good looking — so this entire section of the movie makes very little sense to me or anyone that's never read the book, because it just looks like Edward is being rude by not looking at her and not that she's hot. Sorry unique looking lady. You're not hot, but you're not ugly either... and she also looks kind of old to me... like 35-40. Definitely not an interest to Edward.

In my opinion anyway.

Cool List

2010-05-20T00:32:00.001+01:00

I came across this list on fail blog just a moment ago.

I've got

- learn to speak European

- grow facial hair (which I bleach)

- helmets (I made my own tank girl helmet

- design shades (fake)

- wear all black

- irony

- online frienships

- hang out with steve

You could say I'm well on my way to be cool. Oh yeah

18 years 18 years

2010-05-20T00:12:00.003+01:00

Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digga...

... she got one of yo' kids got you for 18 years.

Not quite 18 years...

it has been 18 months though. I could have served a mission, did three semesters of english teaching, did a masters degree and a half, had two kids, doubled my transistors — according to moore's law... ummm I can't think of anything else.

it's been pretty awesome regardless of all the heinous stuff. :)

What I've done today:-

- got a puncture fixed that has been festering in my boot since January.

- posted a statement of intent to a lawyer

- filled the car with water in its water bit and its window skooshing bit and checked the oil and decided I need to get oil

- some design work for Eilidh's love

- baked Patsy cookies that she gave me (pictures to follow)

- packed all my master of design stuff into a box

- packed some other bits and pieces into a bits and pieces box

- tried 7,000 different links to try and download lost to no avail

- did my tax return and sorted out getting all my apple tax back for 2009 - 2010 (there's about enough tax in there to pay for my stuff to be shipped to the US or to buy myself a plane ticket to get out of dodge)

and I think that's that.

When I woke up this morning I was so happy that it was my day off... pure joy... joy joy joy. because of london last week it feels like I've not had a proper day off in ages. Sunday's a day off, I know, but I actually have to get up earlier on a Sunday than I do on a work day. Crazy.

Not for long though, because of iPad i've got a lot of long shifts coming up, which I can't complain about because it will definitely help the debt repayment :)

Here's my most favourite fail blog for this week:

You just don't know whether to laugh or cry. I'm sure there's some kind of depressing metaphor for life in there — like don't even try; there is no end; or the universe simply says 'hahahahahahahaha'.

Around the interwebs

2010-05-15T00:02:00.002+01:00

So, I read the Fail blog and LolCat blog religiously, it's part of my daily life. Every now and then I will see something that makes me laugh out loud, I save the photo on my computer with the intention of sharing it and it always takes me a long time to actually share it.

So here are my current collection of Lol Cats fail blogs and other awesome things I have seen. :)

the curious incident of the toothbrush in london

2010-05-14T23:31:00.003+01:00

I went to London.

On my 'weekend', that is wendnesday and Thursday.

As part of my visa process I need a medical examination to make sure I'm not carrying contagious diseases or deadly diseases that could affect the lives of actual Americans.

The medical itself was short enough. Vaccination chats, Chest X-ray, blood samples, a quick swatch at everything to make sure I wasn't diseased or falling apart, eye tests, height and weight tests (which I joked to jon were to make sure I was adequate enough to marry and spawn with an american).

All around it was fine. And they send the results straight to the embassy and if there's nothing wrong with me then I won't hear from them, which is pretty awesome. I hope I never hear from them. :)

The actual journey london was horrid. I got the night bus, and I thought I was going to luck out and get two seats meaning I could spead my legs a little, but the last person on the bus, ironically an american girl, sat next to me, and so we spent the next eight hours cramped next to each other.

I was bursting for the loo and totally didn't want to disturb the girl, but at about 1am I saw she was totally awake and squeezed out past her to make my life more bareable. While walking to the back of the bus I was grabbing the back of chairs to steady myself and the last chair I grabbed was warm, and fuzzy and a little moist. yes it was black man's head. I hadn't seen him because it was so dark and he opened his eyes and just grunted at me. I couldn't stop laughing. I was sitting back in my seat and I would think about the head grab and start to chuckle and I would have to bury my head in my pillow so that I didn't come across as a total weirdo.

I got to london about 7am, and I grabbed breakfast and then headed to portobello road in the hope of seeing Angela Lansbury and her Bed.

I was way too tired to take pictures, I was also far too early for it to be in its full glory, it was awesome though, loads of antiques and vintage shops and market stalls, definitely somewhere to go in the afternoon, and about 50 years ago when Angela Lansbury was there. :)

I then headed to the parliament area and saw the sites around there, and I also saw the new prime minister from a big distance.

I then headed to Buckingham palace to see the Change of the Guard and ended up with the best view ever. it was awesome. I then started to travel to the V&A design and art museum, but half way there on the tube I got off because I figured I should get to the area that my appointment was. I then realised that the train I was on was the right one for getting me there, and I waited another 20 mintues for the next one because there was tube problems 'engineering works' 'a derailed train' and 'someone under a train' For real, the announcement said delays were happening because there was a person under a train. Under a train.

I got to Regent street and checked out the apple store there, and it was weird because it was the same but different and I felt like I should know everyone. They all looked familiar and there's totally an apple person in every store the same. There are other apple versions of me somewhere.

I then met eilidh and she walked me to my appointment which is brilliant because I don't know london and i would have been in the wrong place entirely, my favourite part was when I held the map and said 'Ahhh I get where we are now' and she looked at me and turned the map around in another direction, I still had no clue.

After the appointment I grabbed lunch at Pret a manger, possibly the best place in the world, and then hung around for eilidh to finish work, I almost fell asleep in Urban Outfitters.

When Eilidh finished work we went to dinner with some of her friends, and then bowed out at like 9:30 and headed to where she's living now in Canary Wharf, and I was pretty much asleep by 11:30. When it came time to get ready for bed I could not find my toothbrush. Brand new toothbrush, a couple of weeks old... gone. I was convinced I had had it and I knew I had packed it, so I wished it well on it's journey and adventure.

Then up again at 7 to catch the bus at 9 back home.

quick, but awesome. It's always a treat seeing Eilidh.

When I got home I showered, and headed out to Knitting Club (I knit two flowers on the bus home) and I also found my toothbrush, safe and sound in the bathroom. He'd made his own way home... clever little toothbrush. :)

Mind your Z's and Q's.

2010-05-05T22:07:00.001+01:00

So. Today has been a day of nothing.

I woke up, watched the OC. Made lunch, watched Lost. Procrastinated what I was meant to be doing. Sat around. Lay around. Ate dinner. Watched the OC. Then made a huge mess on my bedroom floor while pulling stuff off of shelves.

While pulling stuff off of shelves I came across a notebook/sketbook that I had used for my undergrad typography project. The project that earned me the title MISTD (yes, I have those letters at the end of my name). After undergrad the book was converted into a notebook for my YSA socialite organising days.

I was flicking through the pages amazed at what I used to be able to accomplish and then I came across the most random of things.

Yes this is something called Mind your Z's and Q's.

Z for Zero and Q for my friend Leigh's cat Quark.

The text says:

This is Zero.

She is skinny.

She has big ears

and likes to run around. This is her on a treadmill.

This is Quark.

She is not skinny.

She has normal ears

and likes to eat and sleep at the same time.

(*Speech bubble says 'Got Food')

Both cats have magical powers.

~~they can make their owners do things they want using their magic eyes.~~

they can use their eyes to control people's minds.

They can do anything they want.

They can play scrabble.

They can bake (a tune pie)

they can also dance

Sometimes thought they like to just be cats.

Now I have no idea what this was for. I really don't remember. Although as I was writing there I have a vague recollection of Leigh inquiring about children's story books. So perhaps that was my thinking.

Pretty wicked though, and a nice surprise.

On the other page...

I had drawn another couple of cat pictures of Zero and Quark, and made a list of another possible story I suppose it would be.

This is zero.

This is Quark.

Zero is trained as a ninja.

Quark is trained as a boxer.

Zero wants to be King.

Quark wants to be king.

They argue a little.

Still no one is king.

They use their fighting skills.

Still no one is king.

They use the power of their eyes.

Still no one is king.

They eat some food.

They decide to both be king.

This last image...

is my most favourite sketch of all the ones. Zero is doing a handstand and balancing quark. it makes me laugh.

When uploading my camera I found, of course, an array of images that i hadn't yet uploaded.

My odd shaped Peanut Butter M&M that miriam brought me back from Florida. She brought me a couple of bags. Not just one m&m.

My haribo jelly spider with a jelly web being spun, it made me laugh.

Last Tuesday I pulled out some boxes that I hadn't seen sice 2005 and I found an array of cat ornaments I had been given while in Dundee. The cat sat next to them and when I went to get my camera she moved, with much persuasion I was able to get this shot, but it was no where near as good at the first pose she was doing. Cats!

This is a pile of food: herbs, tuna, pasta. Things with long life spans on them. That I had packed in a box from Dundee in 2005 and they were still in that box unused and, surprise surprise of date. They are still sitting in a pile because I refuse to throw them out, it seems like the biggest waste ever. Sigh. I dislike myself for that one. When I moved back in in 2005 I never thought I would still be living here at all right now. The plan was to get a job, get a flat, and be awesome. So I kept my food for that day. Now, no one gets it. Lame.

I found a huge pile of coppers in my boxes and started counting them. Which led me to count all the change in piles in the house. On Thursday I took it to the bank and made £56.50. Which is in a jar next to me because I want to see the monetary exchange for all the stuff i'm trying to get rid of.

I was helping Kris with his art the other day and I was going to make him a stencil, and the only stencil paper I had left already had a stencil painted on it, this is Eric Prydz. He does electronic music or something I think. Well my old work had the possibility of doing something for him and as part of the design stuff I made this really quickly. Stencil Skills.

Sigh

2010-05-04T22:22:00.001+01:00

The past few days of late have been mildly depressing. There's no particular thing at fault, I've just been overwhelmed with the strong emotion of saddness. It's totally bizarre.

It all started on Saturday with an email from a guy that I sold my OSX leopard disk to for £75. Apparently it hadn't arrived 9 days after posting it. I decided he was either scamming or the woman in the post office was scamming me.

I replied to his email and I've still heard nothing back, so I hope that means it's arrived or he's waiting.

Anyway.

The day got worse when I was at work. I've been in desperate need of more money, and in order to get more money one needs to work more hours. I had asked months ago for my hours to go up during a contract review thing a few weeks ago. My hours did go up and I thought I had been successful, then, they went back down. After some investigation I discovered they had never gone up officially and the extra hours I was doing were given to me because someone else was on holiday or sick. So, when the managers mentioned another contract review I jumped at the chance.

So, on Saturday one of my managers pulled me aside and asked me if I was leaving in the summer. He continued to clarify that he had 'heard on the grapevine' that I was leaving, and with that in mind couldn't dream of giving me extra hours on a permanent basis because they were permanent hours.

Utterly pissed. At first I wanted to know which colleague had been discussing me, and in all honesty I got really baffled about it, because I'm not that important or drama worthy to be spoken about or talked about.

The mystery was solved the very next day.

Some dude, that used to be in my ward, that isn't in my ward, and that's a little bit odd, was at my ward on Sunday. He subsequently got invited to Patsy's for dinner and I was speaking to him whilst there. I brought up the couple of times I'd seen him in the store and he then sheepishly, and yet confidently said 'Yeah, I might have let the cat out of the bag about you leaving... I was talking to on of your managers about it, and he didn't know anything about it. I didn't know it was a secret.'

SERIOUSLY

SERIOUSLY

SERIOUSLY

ACTUALLY SERIOUSLY

I am so utterly livid. Mad beyond all belief.

I'm actually so mad and angry at this person that it has turned into utter depression and hopelessness.

Really.

The past two shifts i've done at work I've just not had my heart in it at all. I just feel so sad, and so under-rewarded. I have tried to work really hard to have my hours put up. Really really hard. Seriously! I've always done what I've been asked, I go above and beyond with my customer service, and I really do try and get my attachment rate to be perfect. And yet, I go unnoticed once again.

SO MAD. Seriously.

Mad.

I'm so fed up of underachieving and having zero cash. Every pay cheque just keeps the bills at bay and doesn't pay them off.

Everything is just lame just now.

Bad week.

Bad bad bad week.

Knocked up (the song)

2010-04-27T00:49:00.000+01:00

No matter what you say I will deny it.

I do not like the Kings of Leon.

But.

I like the beginning of this song. And only the beginning.

I've started being the phone answerer at Apple. There are definitely some interesting phone calls. Definitely more amusing than the people that come in from the street.

I wish I could tell you all the stories. Sigh. Maybe I should write them and once I stop working for apple publish the crazy. :)

The image above was just emailed to me.

The Mormons is officially for sale and in the BYU book shop. I have no idea where else it is for sale. But it's kind of exciting. I designed that. Mark's work is actually really impressive, and I'm pleased I got to work on something so large scale and have complete creative control. It was a long but amazing experience.

I bought a new toothbrush today. I didn't realise how worn down my old one was until I used the new one. It still looked in good shape. My teeth feel especially clean now.

I got my visa interview date. June 7th. So I'm mucho excited about that. There's light at the end of the tunnel. Or rather, a tiny opening in the soil of a huge avalanche of horrid.

I also have to go to London for a medical where I will be poked and proded and x-rayed and charged £190. Lame.

Getting to America is a tough business.

I have the next three days off work, so I might start packing, just for the crack. Start a priority box list of things I really need, things that can get shipped at a later date, and things I don't need at all but I like to know that I own them still. :)

In all honesty I'm sure I don't need the grand majority of my stuff.

I wish I had an iPad for my journeys to london. Hmmm

Last Night's dream.

2010-04-22T12:07:00.001+01:00

This one was pretty wicked and it happened this morning.

It was all about Jon and I... which makes it the best dream ever.

We were together but not married yet and I as living in the states. I know this because all the cars I saw were left hand drive. That's how clever my dream brain is.

We were moving stuff, from one house to another, and I was sitting outside in the sun next to a van and I was asking Jon all these questions. And I had one burning question that I wanted to ask but couldn't find the right time. And then it just came out, the question was 'When were you married to Laura?' (Yes, indeed I made up a whole marriage of Jon's and questioned him about it.) He informed me it was when he was 20 and 22 minutes old. And then the dream moved on rapidly from there, I didn't wait for the rest of the story about Laura?

So then we were at the other house we were moving stuff into and we were actually merging cool kids with less cool kids. Jon was the cool popular kid with loads of cool popular friends, and I was the loser kid. So we were moving into the uncool kid house, and bringing a couple of the cool kids with us too. It was something not unlike a frat house.

Jon then had an errand to run and he brought me with me. He was taking 4 of his very tall and very gorgeous model friends to a pageant, when we got there, I hoped out and told Jon there was no point cramming the 4 girls in the back seat and I would just not go and walk home from there. He was fine with that.

The 4 girls were standing on the pavement and another car pulled up driven by an older Father man and it had a totally unpopular girl in the passenger seat. The cool girls stood and looked at the unpopular girl and were like 'make sure she has seen each of you look at her.' Then they turned to Jon and told him that that was called 'going to the pageant with someone.' As in, they were all going together but they had purposefully made sure there was not enough space in one car, and then tried to make this random girl feel better by letting her stop outside their house and calling it 'going together'.

I'm totally explaining it incorrectly, but when I saw it in my dream I thought it was the funniest thing and realised how amazingly funny I am in my head. HA.

The four girls all jammed in the back of Jon's car, and the boys that lived with the girls came out the house and were picking on this chunky looking glaikit guy with glasses.

I can't remember what they were saying, but it was funny... I'll explain in a minute.

So the galmour hot girls were in the back and I told them I wasn't coming so they could use the front and they were totally like 'aww you're so sweet.' At the same time as they were totally attempting to manipulate my awesome Jon man... anyway. The boys in the background came back out their house and started throwing pancakes at the glaikit kid, and every pancake, no matter how badly thrown, bounced off this guy's head with the most amazing comedy noise and over-exaggerated bounce. And they were saying to him 'Someone that tosses pancakes on their head is a tosser.' And he was like, really, is that the real definition. :)

The earlier insult on the same dude was of a similar nature, where there was a word he wanted to know the meaning of and they were telling him something half true, and 'acting' it out at the same time. I wish I could remember, because it was funny in a totally bizarre way.

It just brought me back to being in high school and someone would be like 'You don't know what a (insert random word here) is.' and I'd be like, 'yeah i do.' and they'd be like 'well, tell me what it is in.' and then i'd say 'i'm not telling you because you don't know.' It was awesome and very very mature.

Of course as it was happening it was very much not awesome.

Anyway... that's my random dream. I liked that I was with Jon, so that was the best bit. yes.

Dreams

2010-04-21T15:02:00.001+01:00

Sometimes my dreams freak me out.

Other times they're just weird.

Since getting engaged periodically I'll have 'wedding/marriage dreams' where the entire premise of the dream is that I'm due to get married that day, or the following day to someone I either don't know, that is of the same gender, that I don't like (physically or their personality — my dreams are that developed).

When I wake up, started and confused, and forced so that the distressing dream ends, it takes my brain a couple of seconds to kick back into reality mode, and I remember whom I am engaged to, and I get so unbelievably happy that it is someone I love and know and who loves and knows me back. It makes me smile, and I always return to the dream land to lay the record straight.

Happy. I <3<3<3 Jon.

H H H Holga

2010-04-16T22:35:00.001+01:00

So, I took my holga to Ireland with me and it was supposed to be my first proper introduction into the world of Lomography. I didn't take all 16 shots that I was allowed to take, and when I got home I photographed some wedding things that I had lying around the house.

I got the prints back today and was most disappointed.

The crazy effects and deep colours that i've seen so much of on the internet of other people's Holga awesomeness was not what I was seeing. I got 10 images back from 16. 6 of them were lost. The actual frame exposed too brightly. I think this must have been because of the flash I had elected to use at the time. I have no idea. It's odd though because there's not even a shadow on the negative. yes negative. How 1990s is that. Negatives. haha.

Anyway. Of the 10 images I took, I can show you 8 because 2 of them involve my wedding dress. :)

After seeing them onscreen they don't look as terrible as they do in print.

Pigg

2010-04-16T11:12:00.001+01:00

This morning is particularly sunny outside. I like it.

I also entered phase two of operation cream cat and located my Nazi Landlord's Son on facebook. Crazy.

It's 11:11.

I have 15 minutes to get my make up on my face and be awesome and out the door.

I have been listening to this song quite a lot this morning:

Don't watch the video, it makes one feel slightly sick, just the actual song is pretty wicked.

Scew Up

2010-04-15T01:33:00.000+01:00

Gosh, I'm actually the world's number 1 screw up.

In some kind of weird sordid twist of fate the Urban Outfitters order has managed to get shipped to the Nazi landlord's address in Salt Lake City.

I swear I changed the address, I KNOW I did because it's saved in my account under addresses, somwhere though, along the purchasing line, it reselected my default address, and off it goes. I think i've pissed off the 11's.

That's the address that I lived at that was 1111E 100S I loved that flat.

Anyway... there's no way I'm going to get it ever now. What a freakin' waste of money. Unless Otto my awesome Nazi keeps it for me for months, or he sends it back. I have no idea. Urban Outfitters told me to track it and then hope it gets returned, or it's my responsibility to go get it. Nice.. the $1000 cardigan... that's how much it costs to go pick it up. Bah.

Sigh.

Nothing can ever be simple.

I just did that thing where i check my bank balance and now I'm depressed enough that I think I might go to bed and wish that a month would pass and I wouldn't notice. Sometimes I fantasise at the thought of slipping into a coma and waking up on wedding day in the US with everything done. I'm sick of waiting, and I am so fed up with interest rates on credit cards. Scum of the earth.

I'm not sick of Zero though, she annoys me, but I don't hate her, she's sitting beside me looking like an ocean liner. I love when she sits like that... boat cat.

Need an iPad

2010-04-14T18:33:00.001+01:00

I forgot to say how much I actually need an iPad now, I didn't realise I had a need of one until I saw this video:

How else will Zero be happy and entertained if not with the iPad. I need one for her. I mean her feet come equipped with her very own pads for use on the iPad.

Wed nescessary day

2010-04-14T18:29:00.002+01:00

The title has nothing to do with this post, other than today is Wednesday.

It's my day off... yay!

I went to the doctors.

I went swimming.

I ate food.

I fell asleep.

I liked looking at the sun and stupidly didn't go outside to play in it. I did intend to, but I didn't know what to do once I got outside. :)

And today I have listened to this song loads:

There's something about it that just reminds me of being young and summery and pleased.

Not that I'm not any of those things now, I am very pleased, and on random occasions in the past couple of days if I pick the correct Jon memory or 'thing Jon has said' I uncontrollably grin like a crazy person and I like it. I love that boy.

Last year while in Utah I bought my brother a pair of jeans. Brother of mine didn't want them, and I happened to be going back to Utah 2 months after the fact. So I kept them brought them back and I was given store credit. I thought I would have been married and happy, and back in the US by now so didn't think much of using my store credit before it expired, but I remembered about it the other night and started to investigate if I could use it on the online store and have the stuff shipped to Jon. Of course, once you start looking for stuff on the Urban Outfitters website there's more than one thing within the budget that you want to buy.

So I've ended up getting two awesome things.

Okay, okay, I know, everyone's into Alice in Wonderland and everyone has T-shirts expressing that just now, but this one is awesome. take away the Alice part and what do you have? What do you have the biggest happiest craziest cat grin ever. I like it.

This actually excites me to no end. Peter Pan collars have become my obsession and I have been hunting high and low for months for a bolero with a peter pan collar for the weddingness, eventually I gave up and decided it would have to be made.

Seeing this though, makes me so excited, there's just something so awesome about it. I had the choice between cream of grey and I opted for the cream because I figured it was time to shake up my colour scheme a bit haha... grey is a good colour, but cream will be interesting to work with.... very hipster :) Tee heee.

So, I had two phone calls to make today. And I didn't do either one and avoided them by falling asleep until now. One was of a medical appointment nature and the other was to the US embassy to see what's going down and if they've received my nonsense letters to them. It's been a long time and nothing. It makes me stressed.

I really just want to be living Happily Ever After ASAP, and weddings and visas and immigrations are just getting in the way of that. Bah. Too long is too long. Had I known that it would take them this long to give me an interview date I would have totally applied for one in January instantly after getting the letter and then getting the stuff ready. I think some kind of processing complaint will be made about the UK embassy (Once I have my visa and I'm safe in the USA of course).

Okay, so let's do what we're all here to see.

STATS

200m FC
100m BS
50m BC
50m BF

100m FC Kick
25m BF Kick
25m BC Kick
50m BS Kick

100 FC arms
25m BF arms
25m BC Arms
50m BS Arms

8x 50m — 25m FC sprint, 25m breaststroke

200m FC (Flippers and stuff)

200m FC

25m Butterfly

75m swim down.

Total 2100m 1hr

The Lack of Fighting aka Apathy

2010-04-10T01:01:00.001+01:00

Once upon a time in my youth I lived with a girl that I classed as my family. I lived with three girls, that I classed as my family. The girl we are talking about today was the one I ended up spending the most time with. We always spent weekends together, and Sunday's (after I'd been at church) I'd rush back to our flat and watch the OC with her on her giant bed.

I'm going to go as far as emotional as saying that the feelings I had for her and all my flatmates (the Masters' flatmate included), is love. I loved her. (not in a lesbian way Jon.)

The other character we're going to introduce today is boy R.

Boy R was in my design class, we had a lot of common interests, mainly graphic design and music.

He was cool.

I was trying to be cool.

Let's go back a year to when I had the biggest crush on Boy C. He turned out to be my first kiss. :)

After first kiss Boy C and I didn't really have much chat. I still adored the ground he walked on and stalked him like a crazy.

One day a non-flatmate-friend let me know that she'd kissed him that weekend.

I was hurt.

Months later.

Flatmate awesome (the girl in question) kissed him. They almost had a thing. She always had a way with guys. I was saddened, but not as sad as before. I'd gotten over him a little and moved onto Boy R (the one in my design class).

Anyway.

Long story short.

Flatmate Awesome and Boy R hooked up.

They stayed apart, and right before we left uni they got together on a permanent basis. This story isn't about me or my anguish and paranoia, it's about my Awesome.

Anyway.

They were together right up until last Christmas/winter time.

That would be 4.5 years.

That's a long time.

They were living together.

From the story she told me they just drifted apart a little. They would do their own thing and give each other social space, to the point that they did nothing together. They were like flatmates, sleeping in the same bed.

Flatmate Awesome presented this issues to Boy R and he said 'Okay, well do you want me to move out?'

And so he moved out, and that was that.

Her own words weeks later to me were 'I was mostly upset that he didn't fight for me.'

My question and thought is at what point does a loving, happy, perfect relationship, whether married or co-habiting, turn into something apathetic and draining. So that when it does come down to the ultimatum of break up or actually try a little harder, that the former option is just the favourite without any hesitation of thought.

It terrifies me a little that something could happen like that. That when trying to fix what you want and what you think is worth fixing actually turns into an apathetic escape.

The saddest part. Is that because of everything the relationship between Flatmate Awesome and I was seriously damaged, and it's not been repaired. Perhaps it's another victim of apathy. Putting all important chats off until the point that it's too late and it's just easier to not mention anything serious when we are in each other's company.

I think sometimes I get sad because I know she's still sad about it, I know she still agonises over him. Well, at least I suspect she does, and he just continues to be very hurtful with his lack of interest in her feelings or needs.

Which brings me to an entirely other point. I hate to make generalisations, but men have a tendency to ignore emotional confrontation. If a girl comes clean, tells the truth and spreads her emotion all over the ether like chocolate spread on toast (runny, messy, but slightly delicious) the situation is skirted over, and that all important closure, laced with emotional honesty just never gets given to the girl.

Somewhere along the line when girls got their voice, men never got their ears or their caring. And the more an emotional chocolate spread smear in the form of texts, phone calls, emails or anything like it happens, the less response the girl gets resulting in the girl continuing her emotional spread and eventually being branded a psycho. emotional honesty is not just not lying when asked questions. It's being open and admit something is awry.

Anyway. Boy R is an arse, and I feel sick thinking I ever once obsessed over him. I can't believe how disgusting in personality he turned out to be. I love Flatmate Awesome and I hate that she was hurt and saddened by someone that she trusted.

Those were my thoughts for today. I don't know where they came from. They just appeared.

Things I learned from MTV

2010-04-08T12:07:00.000+01:00

Tonight I watched MTV's Teen Mom, I was channel flicking after how I met your mother. How did I meet your mother? I don't know.

Well, on Teen Mom there aren't very many lessons to learn other than don't have kids when you're still in high school and sixteen and expect to play happy families with the guy you got pregnant with.

The other lesson I learned today was to let go of alternative realities.

There's this one girl that gave her kid up for adoption and she agonises over it every episode. This week she went on a 'birth mother' retreat, and she learned and she grew. They did this one exercise that involved writing the thing that she thought about most on a piece of paper and burning it.

Her thing was 'What if I could have done it.' as in, what if she could have kept the baby and been an awesome mother and done it.

It was something she had to let go of, and I realised it was a good lesson in life. All too much do we look at our own lives and how we got to this point then wonder what could have happened if a different choice had been made a pivotal moment, or if someone else made that choice by the situation never being presented.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I never quit good creative and did masters, or if I never even got the job at good, or if I'd decided to go to LA rather than Salt Lake City after Masters, or if Delta let Maddy Miller take two dogs on the plane and she didn't need me at all.

I don't look at these moments and get terrified, I sometimes look and wonder who I would have been or what I would have become, or what other choices I would have been presented with.

I think the best thing though is be happy with the decisions that were made at the time. The decisions I have made in my life were for my happiness and the best decision I could have made at that time based on all the input and evidence surrounding the choice.

I think the eternal divine intervention perspective is to be happy that the choices we made will work out and lead us to the path that will make us the happiest in the long run regardless of all the pain and hurt and mental torment we go through to get there.

I also think the key is to never regret a choice. Agonising over a decision that was once made will only cause the current path to be negative and miserable. Because the grass is always greener. We have no idea how a certain choice would have worked out, but we imagine it to be sunny and happy and delightful, but we don't know that for sure.

Don't regret, and don't look back with negativity towards the present. Things happen, that's life, it's how we move on, and use the hurt we once felt and make it into something positive that makes all of our choices the right ones.

And, you know what, if you do believe you've made an incorrect choice, you still have a choice to change it. Fact.

Feelings of a lifetime.

2010-03-27T22:31:00.001Z

Holla' attcha. That's my Gwen Stefani gig for the day.

I was thinking today about a few different things. It started when I finished work and went for 'coffee' with Claire. Coffee being me drinking a cinnamon steamer and eating a pretty cupcake.

I was talking to Claire about a guy she's half dating and half not and she doesn't know if she likes him or if he likes her, so she was going to try and up the affection level and see where it takes her.

She was thinking of inviting her to her house to watch movies or some TV and I then I said 'Ohhh and when you are there you can try out the 'fight over the remote and I end up holding your hand thing'' then I got the warm fuzzies, because I was remembering the first time Jon held my hand:

Date numero dos.

We were sitting on his black couch after watching bolt and eating at Cafe Trang, which was awesome. And we were looking up an instruction manual for setting up his TV to make it work. He'd moved house just a couple of days before. I remember we were both looking over the iPhone screen and he clicked on a link and we were both crossing our fingers and then he reached over and grabbed my crossed fingers hand.

I actually have the lamest grin thinking about it. I was so into him, and I had no idea if he was even bothered or if he just wanted the novelty of hanging out with a Scottish person.

Happy moment.

After thinking this thought Claire and I parted ways and I was thinking about other AMAZING feelings that I never want to forget.

The day I got into Art School is one.

I was working at a hotel and started at 7am and finished at 12. I was running late that day. One of the few days I was ever late for that job. It was after 8 (Yes I was really late) and I was sitting on the train and my mum called me. I had no idea why she would be calling me. So I answered. She told me I had mail from Duncan of Jordanstone and did I want her to open it or just wait until I came home. After milling over the thought I told her to open it. As she was she jokingly said 'It says they're just reviewing your application' (weeks earlier I'd received a letter from Safeway — a supermarket — telling me my recent job application was being reviewed again, and that was it... weird). I thought she was being serious and my heart sank and then she was like 'just kidding it was a joke because of Safeway.' Then she went quiet and I could literally hear her reading. She then told me that i'd been accepted. I have no idea how big my grin was. It was huge. I called my best friend at the time, heather, and spoke to her all the way walking up to work in the dead dead streets of Glasgow. They're always empty and it's errily beautiful walking through town with empty quiet streets. The only people around are going to work or going home from a long long party. It's like there was a bustle of life then it just faded away with the sun committing to rise. I haven't done it in a while, but it's nice.

Anyway. Getting into art school was one of the best feelings ever.

I'll hopefully think of more, because there has to be more, I can't just have two.

Actually, the total kick of adrenaline while being proposed to, that's something to never forget.

The day I won the lottery would be another, but that's not happened.... yet :):):)

Chai Tea Message

2010-03-24T00:21:00.001Z

My recent discovery of a box of Chai Redbush in a cupboard has been amazing.

Tonight I just got the message 'Let your heart guide you.'

I got that message from the Chai Tea last January after I made the decision to stay in Salt Lake until March rather than go home at the end of January. It was a good decision although it was difficult to make and difficult to accept, but it was worth it once the pressure of making a decision was gone.

I remember getting the message and feeling a small sense of relief that I was making the right choice, because love is rare. Although it doesn't seem that way to those who are married already, but those who are single will know and understand how rare reciprocated love has become, especially that which is seeped in genuine intentions and loyalty.

I liked getting the message again. Because I am and I shall let my heart guide me. :)

Bronconious

2010-03-23T01:59:00.001Z

I've become addicted to Gentlemen Broncos.

Jon says I can't like a movie because of it's soundtrack.

If there's one thing I've learned from being awesome and studying design stuff, it's that a brand is made up of all the elements of it's advertising: size, colours, imagery, characters, emotional ties, and MUSIC.

:)

So are movies. A movie is everything from character, script, humour, story, and amazing music as well as viewing experience, and viewing company.

The two songs I'm currently loving because of the movie are:

and

Rock and Roll

2010-03-23T01:46:00.001Z

For some reason I have been plagued with the overwhelming to punch dance or power dance to this:

Growing Up

2010-03-23T01:25:00.001Z

The past few months have not been easy.

The past few weeks have had Antoinette back in them.

Although i've not got to see her that much, the times I have seen her have been good.

We were meant to hang about tonight for a short hot chocolate time, but it didn't happen. She sent me a message that made me ponder for a short time about myself.

Over the past few months I seem to have become withdrawn, quiet, and introverted. My social skills and my friend skills are lacking, and any conversation I do have seems to always centre around Jon/immigration/wedding and that's about it. There's nothing else happening, there's nothing else going on in my head.

It's been two years since my hurtful, horrid, mini-breakdown where I swore I would start doing more things. It lasted for a bit, but weather prohibits skateboard learning, and money prohibits violin, and the desire to plan a wedding as much as I can because I have no idea when it will be and I don't want to get behind then have to wait months while I 'plan' prohibits writing, and cinema, and leaving the house, and spending and saving all my money on debts, immigration or wedding prohibits everything else in between — even driving.

Speaking of driving, someone backed into my car and burst the metal... maybe I mentioned that. I can't remember. It was the start to an evening that ended in my spewing my load.

I'm waiting for life to happen, and it's not good. I think I fear living though, because to live without constantly thinking of Jon or preparing for my life with him would mean moving on from him, and I don't want that to happen. I know that if I keep things the way they are then our relationship won't suffer any more than it's already suffering. But if I start doing other things I will get distracted from the goal. NOT HEALTHY. I can hear you shout. But it's hard. It's difficult difficult lemon difficult. And that's all I can say about it.

Anyway. It got me thinking Toni's message, about how abysmal my self-centred thoughts have been. I've not really put any effort into maintaining our relationship, and while she's been here I've been passive and let her do what she needed to do and see who she needed to see without me being in the way. I got to see her last summer and be at her wedding all the other Scottish peoples didn't. So I figured it was their turn. Or was I actually just being self-focused and living in my box and not pushing the hanging out.

I remember seeing an advert on TV once with Lorraine that said you'll have hundreds of friends in your lifetime but only six that are constant. I remember her saying that she hoped I was one of her six. I've let that relationship fizzle.

I don't like growing up. This is the stuff grown ups deal with. My mum doesn't really have many friends. If any. All her time is about work, or tidying the house, or looking after and running after all three of her needy ass kids. I don't want to grow up.

I remember when I used to think about growing up, or 'dressing like a girl/lady' or behaving differently I would get this feeling in my gut like I was losing something, or saddening my mother because she was losing something. It was odd. I still get it every now and then. Not often, but on occasion it comes back.

I've still got no idea what it was: fear, change, sadness, nerves, emotional attachment to my mother in some kind of warped single parent Fraud theory of Oedipus.

I wish I afforded myself time to read and think and develop my theory brain again. My entire career looks like mush. Difficult year. Difficult year.

There's time though, and that's one thing i've learned is that time is an enemy and a friend. When we are young so many things happen at once. We are told to go to school, go to university and get a good job. That seems like a whole lifetime. In fact it's just the beginning, there's so much time to do other things and see other places, and change jobs and experience new things. Just because the 'plan' drilled into our minds when we were young has expired doesn't mean we have. That's why we have a planet of young late twenty to forty year olds all claiming they are old, because the way school and 'the social plan' works once you're finished university you're done with life.

That was a random thought.

I miss being crazy and fun. I miss laughing. I don't want to grow up. So hopefully once this hurdle is climbed I can be me again. Although then I will have a whole new set of worries and sadness and miss. I will miss the Mary and the Donna and the Eilidh and all the various flatmates. And the family. Them will I miss. And my mum is planning on moving, so it's not like I will ever be coming back to here, in the same environment. It's difficult to get my head around.

Anyway.

Worry of this week is the cat.

The way i've been wedding planning is to move the cat when I move, which would be a week or less after the pre-wedding in Glasgow, and then get married after a week of being in the US. Where does cat care come into that. BAH.

How can we destination wedding and honeymoon days after moving a cat 5000 miles and traumatising her when her entire life has been lived in one house. Well entire life bar 5 weeks. I took her Dundee once, for a week, and she hid in a bag the whole time. She's the scardiest cat I know, and putting her in cat care would end her. I think she would die of stress as well as be the meanest cat in the world.

Gosh, this is what grown up is. Dealing with cats.

I just can't think of a way to work it out other than leave her and get her the next time I come back. But I think that would be hard. She and I run in a pack. She hates when I leave her, and the easiest way would be me with her constantly through the whole travelling process, the leaving process and the settling process. Sigh. So many things to think about.

Today I lost motivation for making flowers. I'm so utterly bored of the same old same old with no change. Not even an interview date.

I watched Glee tonight and I've decided that the target audience is definitely gay males and people that loved watching 24. The story line isn't that great. It's very back and forth, I've still got no idea what I want to happen in the story, and the singing is getting a little boring. But for some reason I can't miss an episode.

At least I'm not sick.

Zero Mathematics

2010-03-23T00:52:00.001Z

One of my most recent past times has been coming home from working and lying on bed with cat contemplating random things.

The other day I started doing some mathematics.

I was working out that the cat is 4 years and 8 months old.

In human years that's multiplied by 5 making her over 20.

On her birthday on July 9th she will be 25.

On my birthday I will be 27.

I also worked out that the cat ages one year for every 2.4 months. 0.4 = 12 days.

I then estimated that the cat and I would be a similar age around the end of this year, with her overtaking me before 2011 started.

Shortly after she would be older than Jon.

I'm going to do the exact maths and work out when that day is.

25 years on 9th July
26 year on 21st September
27 years on 3rd December
28 years on 15th February
29 years on 27th April

Actually this is inaccurate. I think we'll have to count days rather than months and days.

Okay start again.

Every 73 days the cat ages one year.

26 years 20th September

27 years 2nd December

28 years 13th February

29 Years 27th April

30 Years 9th July

Weird, the first time was pretty accurate.

Anyway.

On 2nd of december I will be 27 years and 88 days old.

The cat ages, in theory 5 days for every 1 of our days if she ages 5 years for every one of our years. I'll calculate that to make sure.

365/73 = 5

Bang on.

If I had the ability to make a graph this would be easier.

3rd December
Zero: 27 years 5 days
Vikki: 27 years 89 days

4th December
Zero: 27 years 10 days
Vikki: 27 years 90 days

5th December
Zero: 27 years 15 days
Vikki: 27 years 91 days

6th December
Zero: 27 years 20 days
Vikki: 27 years 92 days

7th December
Zero: 27 years 25 days
Vikki: 27 years 93 days

8th December
Zero: 27 years 30 days
Vikki: 27 years 94 days

9th December
Zero: 27 years 35 days
Vikki: 27 years 95 days

10th December
Zero: 27 years 40 days
Vikki: 27 years 96 days

10th December
Zero: 27 years 45 days
Vikki: 27 years 97 days

11th December
Zero: 27 years 50 days
Vikki: 27 years 98 days

12th December
Zero: 27 years 55 days
Vikki: 27 years 99 days

13th December
Zero: 27 years 60 days
Vikki: 27 years 100 days

14th December
Zero: 27 years 65 days
Vikki: 27 years 101 days

15th December
Zero: 27 years 70 days
Vikki: 27 years 102 days

16th December
Zero: 27 years 75 days
Vikki: 27 years 103 days

17th December
Zero: 27 years 80 days
Vikki: 27 years 104 days

18th December
Zero: 27 years 85 days
Vikki: 27 years 105 days

19th December
Zero: 27 years 90 days
Vikki: 27 years 106 days

20th December
Zero: 27 years 95 days
Vikki: 27 years 107 days

21st December
Zero: 27 years 100 days
Vikki: 27 years 108 days

22nd December
Zero: 27 years 105 days
Vikki: 27 years 109 days

23rd December
Zero: 27 years 110 days
Vikki: 27 years 110 days

And that's what makes time travel possible.

On the 23rd of December Zero and I will be the same age... I'm sure for just a minute because her day is 24/5 hours long. But that's a bit too tedious even for me.

That's also the day Joseph Smith was born. Coincidence. I think not. Zero was sent by God, although she is evil on some occasions, but I'm sure it's for a purpose.

Ring a Ding Ding 2

2010-03-20T01:12:00.001Z

So, on the pursuit for a ring, I came across some interesting things.

A Posy ring is one of those interesting things. Apparently in times of betrothal and arranged marriages people would give each other posy rings as a sign of their secret love for each other. It was quite the sentiment.

I came across this on ebay:

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=400105719841&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT

This ring is about 300 years old or something, which is kind of crazy. I absolutely loved the engraving:

"I love and like my choice."

My most amazing find this week is this:

Which yet again is an ebay treasure.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280479405857&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT

There's something about the hand carved tiffany logo, and the script written date that just blow my mind. I love typography, it's true. That is an honest fact about Vikki Miller Queen of the World.. she loves typography. In fact, I want a headstone that says something to that effect and you better believe the font, and the leading and the kerning better be perfect on it. I would also appreciate hand carving and skill in carving my name out of stone :)

Even although I have a ring, which I know I will love, it's hard for me to stop looking to see what else is out there. For a time after getting married, my friend Skillso Millso was still in wedding hunting mode, looking at wedding things, and still planning a 'what I would and should have done wedding.' That's already happening to me. Although I know there are certain things I will not budge on... Like my most awesome and amazing dress. Seriously it rocks.

My petticoat was delivered today but I missed the postman by 4 minutes, gutted. So I might have to get it in the morning if i'm up early enough to shower and get to the post office and catch the train for work.

I started work on my jacket guy last night, my mum and I were making a 'mock up' to work out any pattern kinks, and she even let me sew some of the cuff, awesome. I managed to mess it up, loosen the seam, cause a thread jam, and scald the fabric with an iron, so I suggested that when it come to making the real thing I have no part in it. She smiled at me... which was to say 'I love you daughter of mine, you have great skill in many things, but yes, you are right, you shouldn't touch the real thing.'

Vizzle my mizzle miller is tired. I should go to bed.

Today in Apple my friend Lee and I were discussing the awesome of having an Mc Surname, because it is my future and his present. And then he remarked... it will be cool because you will be V McD... which is what I said many months ago. The death of Vizzle M will spawn Veeeeee McDeeeee the newest rapper name on the block. Vizzle M will have come back tours though. I can guarantee it.

Clean Sheets

2010-03-20T00:54:00.001Z

Last night I changed the sheets on my bed. I also took the second quilt off. my quilt it awesome because it's two, and in the winter you use both to have a super thick quilt, then in the autumn and spring you use the heavier of the two on it's own, then in the summer use the thinnest on it's own. So now, I am in spring quilt time.

My sleep last night was amazing. I woke up feeling so happy and I think it was because I was smelling the sheets all night, and stayed at the right temperature, and didn't have to fight the blanket falling down the side of my bed, which happened when it was really heavy.

The cat loved the sheet change more than me. Once they were changed she got on up there and stayed on them all evening, and into the night. I wouldn't usually let her on clean sheets before I'd used them, but she looked so happy and content that I couldn't move her. I think she had the best sleep of her life as well.

Pleased.

Nom Nom Nom

2010-03-13T01:53:00.001Z

The other day it was my 26th and half birthday. I think it was last friday. I forgot to mention it on here, but I was talking about it all day at work and in general life. I think I even told a few customers.

So today I am 26th and a half and one week. I am now closer to 27 than I ever was before. But that's true of every day. I'm not age obsessed by any means, I'm not bothered about ageing rapidly. I think it's because I had a sudden perspective overhaul a year or so ago. Around the time I bought a skateboard and went by the slogan 'I can do anything I want, no matter how old I am, I can learn new things.' Needless to say, that motto hasn't really lasted too long, or rather, it's not as ambitious as it once was. Mark my words though, I will skateboard one day, and on that day I will officially be Marty McFly.

I think the fact that I am engaged and will be getting married at some point before I'm 28, I feel okay about ageing. Definitely.

This evening I made two felt flowers and one really big 5meter ribbon and cute paper bunting thing. It was pretty wicked, Kris even helped out for a bit, he's been itching to have someone teach him how to knit so he can help. Bless his intentions. He has a short attention span though, so his help was short lived but greatly appreciated.

I had a story, but forgot to mention it the other night, I phoned Jon instead of blogging.

I was on the train and I was sitting in a four seat: four seats, two opposite each other. I was sitting in by the window facing, otherwise I vomit, and there was a business looking man diagonal across from me so we weren't knee touching. Both of us were reading newspapers. Our symmetrical difference, other than the obvious physical ones, was that he was eating a Snickers bar and I wasn't.

It was in his hand, resting on his knee closest to me, and I thought, if I were to bend over and take a bite (which I could do with a lot of ease) what would he do?

I wish I had.

It would have been good. I think the only thing stopping me was that I could see where his teeth had left saliva as he'd taken his last bite. Slevs are the enemy. I'd already made eye contact and smiled at him earlier when the ticket man had come by. There's something about apple that makes me a bit more pleasant with the general public. I tend to smile at them randomly, as if I'm still working.

During training at apple I used to always say that there were a lot of similarities to the church. One of which is that I'm a representative of Apple always. To anyone that knows where I work, I become the face of apple in everything I do — to the people that know. So I think that's why I get all smiley in public I think.

Anyway.

The conclusion of this story is that moments after wanting to eat this man's chocolate I flipped to the 'cartoon strips' at the back of the paper and saw this:

So it pretty much says "sometimes I don't even like chocolate, honest.' 'For long periods I don't have the least desire.' 'Then other times it's just...' and her pal says 'just'.

On facebook I'm actually tagged by someone as this Nemi character. Apparently she's Scandinavian, and she is usually in a foreign language and sometimes gets lost in translation. This didn't get lost at all. In fact moments before I had been tempted to do that. It was so freaky. I actually started laughing out loud a little when I saw it, I was in some disbelief that I had psychically predicted the humour without knowing I was predicting. I love me. The man, I'm sure, thought I was slightly mental for laughing out loud, but he has no idea how close he came to losing his Snickers.

Also on that page were the horoscopes, which I tend to read just for the amusement. Sometimes there's really funny ones. I also read Jon's just so I can check up on what he's doing that day.

The other day Jon's said that everything he touched this month would turn to gold, I was kind of pleased I wasn't around, I don't fancy being gold. Ahhhh. I'm funny.

Anyway, this same Snicker's eating day our horoscopes were:

Jon's pretty much told me he was cheating on me. Kidding. I don't believe that don't worry. But I was amused for a second.

Mine rang accurate and true, because I was tormented with a lot of thought that day, there were 3 or 4 things that kept playing in my mind which were effecting everything I did that day. It wasn't good. I was able to resolve some of them, possibly all of them. I was worried about marriage planning and how waiting for 'ideal circumstances' in the US might cause me to be living in unideal conditions in the UK, come the summer time — if i'm still here then. I resolved my immediate fear on this one by coming up with a plan. The next day I sent my 'interview readiness' form to London, and told Jon he would have a time limit on getting his forms to me. Then I devised a plan that would be semi-fool-proof depending on circumstances, and favours, and me having my visa in hand.

The other was a holiday request at work being denied, but I sorted it.

And the other was the fear of getting more hours, I love working at apple, and I asked for more hours, and I didn't know if I was going to be successful or not, and then worrying about whether I would do a good job, and still love the job when everything 'changed.' I have a change phobia, but only about certain things. Other changes I can handle, some I can't. Weird. So yeah, that is half resolved because I will be working more, but it doesn't start for another couple of weeks, and then we will know how that goes.

My favourite part of that entire newspaper though was the front cover, which had Sandra Bullock collecting her Oscar on it:

By far my photo of the year.

Wedding Day.

2010-03-12T00:19:00.001Z

Today, is actually the day of wedding. Needless to say, it didn't happen quite according to plan. I've known for weeks that it wasn't happening, so it's not like today is a day of great grief of mourning. Just a day of well wishing and hoping.

I well wish and I well hope that another date can be picked and that date will happen. Also needless to say is my general boredom with the situation. Nothing seems to change, and it sucks. I had a really optimistic week last week, and the week before I had a very negative week, and now, I'm just placid, back to normal, living in the future, wishing and hoping, with no real belief that it will ever happen. It's like Christmas as a kid. The more you want something the longer it takes to arrive, and the more you believe you will get something the more likely you won't. So I think I used to tend to pretend that it was never going to happen and that way Christmas would come sooner and be a bit of a surprise when it did.

Fortunately I never had to 'plan' Christmas when I was a child. A wedding, that needs a certain amount of planning. It's all I do these days, it makes me believe that things will happen sooner, or at least if it does spring up as a surprise I'll be ready for it. :)

March 11th would have been good. Nice Spring air. Happy joy. Sigh.

Next wish.

Swim

2010-03-12T00:13:00.001Z

I went swimming without a towel today. It's not the first time that's happened. Luckily this time I noticed before I paid, got in the pool, had a shower and got in the changing room. The first time I had Toni with me and we towel shared. This time I went back to the car and considered driving home to get a towel. I have very little to no petrol and I went to a pool further away from me because of the fiasco of the last time I went to the local pool. I got in the car and noticed a fleece blanket (from Ikea) that i have on the back seat. I thought for a second, crammed the blanket into my bag and went swimming.

That was 1.

While in the changing room I realised I had no bobble to tie my hair up with.

That was 2.

While cramming my hair into my swimming hat in a weird way because there was no bobble I pinged myself in the eye with the tight elastic.

That was 3.

I had an amazing swim though. The whole time I felt like I was following my old coach's words of 'Swim as fast as you can, your body won't let you go faster than you can go.' It was fast. I had the lane to myself as well for the majority, then some arse-man almost clobbered me when I was on 1600m. Idiot.

Stats:

1hr and maybe a couple of minutes over.

200m Front Crawl
200m Breast Stroke
50m Back stroke
50m one armed butterfly
50m Back stroke
50m One armed Butterfly
200m Front crawl legs
50m butterfly legs only
50m Back stroke legs only
100m Breast stoke legs only
50m Front crawl arms only
50m back stroke arms
50m butterfly (one armed) arms
50m breast stroke arms

400m Front Crawl with paddles and flippers

400m Front Crawl

150m Swim down

Things I have learned today:

Fleece blankets are not good towels. They do, however, keep you warm for a while and take off surface water, but have no adsorption at all. In fact, I would suggest never ever using a fleece blanket instead of a towel unless it is completely necessary.

Sticking Up for Scotland

2010-03-05T01:07:00.001Z

I actually forgot to mention that I got e-annoyed again. Some random on MySpace, yeah I know Myspace got all up in my Scottish and irritated me slightly... Read for yourself:

mahatb…

22/02/2010 12:55
To: grrr arg (grrr_arg@myspace.com)

hey you're a mormon in england, that's cool.

Notice mistake number one... ENGLAND?

grrr a…

Online Now!
23/02/2010 05:22
To: mahatbilerat

Well almost. I'm a mormon in Scotland. Scotland and England are two very very different places, although they are joined. Wales, Scotland, England, and Northern Ireland are all separate countries and none of them appreciates being called the other. Collectively we are referred to as the United Kingdom of Great Britain, so if you want you can call me British, but never ever call me English.

Okay thanks bye

mahatb…

23/02/2010 23:50
To: grrr arg (grrr_arg@myspace.com)

well, the english government runs your country, which would thusly make you english... follow?

mahatb…

23/02/2010 23:51
To: grrr arg (grrr_arg@myspace.com)

that is like saying native americans aren't american

Notice mistake number 2... no apology and ignorantly attempting to justify the point.

I read a blog the other day by my friend April's husband Daren: About Ignorance

I responded to this child with this:

grrr a…

Online Now!
25/02/2010 14:28
To: mahatbilerat

Get your facts straight.

Scotland has it's own government.

The BRITISH government is based in England and does rulings that effect Britain, and they also do rulings that effect England. Not all laws passed in Westminster are applied to Scotland.

Scotland has it's own laws and legal system, and it's own recognised sporting teams.

Tell me, if Scotland was not a country why would Scotland, England, Ireland and Wales all compete in the World Cup for Football (soccer) and not under the collective country Great Britain.

You're stepping on thin ice with this one, and your analogy of Native Americans is just weak and poor. If you want to insult a county that is thousands of years old do some historic research first.

If this was anything like the Native Americans then Scottish people would have lived in England. That has never happened. Scotland has been a country for a very very long time and the border between Scotland and England has been established a lot longer than large colonies of British people (The Scottish, English, Irish and Welsh) got on a boat and founded your country to what it is now.

So if you have something pleasant, non-confrontational or actually Christian and nice to say why don't you say it. If you don't please don't email me again.

Thanks

I'd also like to say that at no point did I go looking for this person, I'm not using MySpace to meet people, it came out of the blue, entirely, and I should have ignored it from the start. Nor did I ever click through and look at this person, he could actually be some 12 year old, I've no idea.

I liked sticking up for Scotland though. When someone calls me English I have to say something, that's why I couldn't just ignore it.

Random Update

2010-03-04T23:59:00.001Z

2010 seems to be the year of neglecting my blog. It's not that I don't have anything to say, it's just that I seem to lack the motivation, or feel that every time I sit in front of the computer or have spare time that i should be planning wedding and immigration.

I've been knitting a lot, because I've decided to knit my 'table decoration' flowers, and that way I can use them here and in the US. I'm also going to make some from felt. I've also taken to doing a lot of hand washing for the bridesmaid dresses and table cloths that I find on ebay for much cheapness.

I feel kind of ill from the amount of consumption I've been doing recently. It's not a huge quantity of money, but there's something about spending money, and getting more stuff that just makes me a little stressed and uneasy. It's weird.

I went to institute last night for the first time this academic year. After going so many times in Utah and experiencing the quality of the lessons the Glasgow version just didn't seem to compare. Yesterday, after seeing Princess and the Frog and catching up with Claire for a bit, I had the urge to go to institute. I did go back to the cinema to see if there was anything else on, and I did mill around the house once I got home making the decision, but I went. And oddly enough it was on my favourite chapters in the book of mormon 3rd Nephi 1 — 13. 11 — 13 are my favourite chapters.

3 Nephi is the 11th book in the book of mormon and chapter 11 is amazing. Quite frankly. 11s freak me out.

Anyway, institute was good, I stirred up a minor bit of controversy by presenting an idea that Jon had discussed with me not so long ago. It actually flagged up the smallest bit of genuine philosophical discussion, but was concluded and nipped in the bud by the teacher with a general 'missionary answer' as Jon would call it. I tried to get in and out without having to talk to anyone. I hate socialising with people I barely know that seem to know everything about me because of gossip or facebook.

I do worry sometimes that I'm so focused on the future that I'm forgetting to live in the present. I seem to just be existing, and that's a little sad. But I am using this time to hang out with my own family, and my bestest of the best friends, because those are the ones I will miss the most.

Anyway, wedding update. We're still no further forward with my visa, or planning on a solid date.

My wedding dress, however, is smaller and amazing. The only thing I still need to get is fabric for wee jackety guy, and some seam/tan tights, oh and I was thinking of getting new white chuck taylors to swap in when I had to really walk because heels are awesome, but not all day.

I've got 4 out of 6 bridesmaids sorted.

I bought a holga camera to take random artsy shots on the wedding day :)

I have a lot of felt wool, buttons, ribbon, table, cloths, a candle stick, two glass tea pots, butterflies, ceramic hearts, a wooden ampersand, jars galore, and I have some plates on the way. I figure the postman is fed up of bringing the wedding to me. Honestly 4 times a week he has to knock on the door to give me parcels. It's exciting.

I tell you though, a lot of my time has been spent on trying to find a wedding ring. I was wanting my old flatmate to make me one, but she has refused several times over, so I figured I would start looking for something 'vintage/antique.' There's been some amazing stuff that I've found, but they either don't fit my finger, or the ones that do are just far too expensive.

My other thought was to just get a plain band, but look out for one that had engravings from a previous happy couple, one that got married in the 20s 30s 40s or 50s. I just like the history of it.

Here's some visual thinking:

If I had a lot of money, and a 6.5 finger size I would be getting this:

Beyond all that I've still been reading lolcats on a daily basis and I'm still grabbing the best ones just not posting them. So here are my lolcats that I love:

And some from fail blog:

Last week and the week before I was at some film festival films (glasgow film festival that is).

The movies I saw were

Gentlemen Broncos — Amazing

Mic Macs — by Jean Pierre Juenne, and the director did a Q and A afterwards which was amazing. he was just like one of his characters. I love Amelie, and he does too.

Capitalism: A love story — which was very lightening, and a really good Moore documentary. I cried a few times through it, it's just horrific. I really dislike capitalism, but it's hard to dislike something that I've benefited from. And it's even more difficult to say that it should be eradicated when no one knows what a better system would be. I'm not saying, by any means that I am a socialist, but there are elements of socialism that should be taken into account. The point of the movie though was that it was time to actually be a democracy, because democracy doesn't exist when capitalism does.

Whip It — which was about roller derby and it is now my newest obsession. It was amazing, by far my favourite movie.

And then there was 'The List — secret movie' Which turned out to be Greenberg and it left a sour taste in my mouth. While I watched it I thought it was good, but the ending, and the lack of conclusion just felt a little discomforting. There was no redemption or growth. Maybe there was and I missed it. While I was talking to Jon about it I said that it was like a movie with Jack Black and Nicole Kidman. When I finally looked up the Greenberg IMDB page I found out that Margot At the Wedding was the name of the Black/Kiddman film and that it was directed by the very same man that brought Greenberg to the screen.

I'm excited that I got to see it scores before a lot of people, and I liked that the cinema had a security guard with a 'device' monitor which would detect the use of anything electrical. We all had to turn phones off because it would pick up. He was making sure no one was filming any part. It was kind of cool.

I also feel a little guilty because I came across 'Christmas money' that I had received from my Dad and my Aunt Mary, and rather than put the money towards debt or wedding things I decided to buy the OC, all four season on dvd. I feel well guilty because it just adds to my weight that needs to immigrate, but at the same time I wanted something that I could say my Dad had contributed towards. I think it's the first time he's ever given me money on any kind of birthday or Christmas. I still haven't seen him in a very long time, but I liked his gesture. He delivered the card via my sister who does see him every now and again. I just don't do a good job at dealing, and my Dad is very unpredictable. He's either drunk, or getting drunk, and his mood could change at any point. I don't like being in situations that are unpredictable like that. So I tend to avoid it, and even his phone calls. So he's stopped attempting to contact me.

I've been meaning to write him a letter since I got the money from him. The Christian in me wants to help him and have some kind of rapport with him, but the child in me wants to hide and have nothing to do with it.

This got very deep very fast.

Anyway.

Life is good, The OC is on it's way, wedding planning is awesome — had everything gone to plan Jon and I would be getting married in seven days, and I would have immigrated on Tuesday past. Things haven't gone to plan, but it just means I have more time to knit and sew. :)

Optimistic Miller is here for the week, hopefully here to stay, I've had some sad weeks, and some happy weeks, the sad weeks feel like there's no end to it all. The happy weeks feel like everything will happen very very soon. I like the happy weeks.

The Carnival Assignment Dream

2010-02-24T13:38:00.001Z

Last night I had a long shift at apple, I was working until midnight, which isn't too bad, but I had started at three, and at 6 when the shop shut I had to move my car and then start a moving, shifting, chancing, swapping shift. It was fine. Just a lot of physical labour.

I got home about 12:30 and watched some ladies cross, which was crazy. They were like little rabbits bouncing up the hills, it was kind of awesome. Then I did some bobsleigh and went to bed.

My dreams were even quite the labour. The last dream I had was amazing. The detail, and the story were kind of gripping. It was good. The more I think about it though, the more I realise where I got the ideas from.

I'll start from the beginning of where I remember.

I was with a few family members, my mum and cousin kate included down near the train station outside my house.

as if from no where strange buildings and hedges appeared. They were like large hedge mazes, with stone work in the middle of each of the hedge squares. The entire landscape around the train station had changed and I was pretty baffled by the whole thing and was like 'what on earth are those things.' My mum said 'I don't know' which was very intuitive of her.

We walked around the front of them for a second and found an opening that was a bridge across the train track. There was a huge corridor not unlike an airport corridor with lots of people spread so far apart that it seemed like very few people. I crossed over and when I reached the other side there was a stair case, a very non-committed, weak stair case, identical to the ones you get on rides at carnivals. Because it was one. There were red and yellow lights flashing from below and I had to queue on the stairs to get down. I was handed one yellow ticket, with a number on it. The number corresponded to a person and a time and a place, that I just knew.

At this point of my 'movie dream' I was afforded the knowledge that my cousin, and my sister had both been here, and done this.

Kate's story was that she'd been there a day or so before, and she didn't have much time to be freed. The number we were given when entering, corresponded to a person that had to die before 5pm that day. I was filled with images of Kate completing her task and burying the body of her victim under a tree.

Lola hadn't been there too long and she was just wandering still.

I got into the carnival area only to find that it wasn't a carnival, it was life, it was another world. But it was always a holiday. The sun was out, there were amazing shops, there were amazing restaurants, and millions of leisure activities. It was like a package holiday, for free, forever. There were hundreds and hundreds of people just everywhere, happy and just having the best time of their life because they didn't have to work or do normal life things.

I didn't find it fun at all. In fact I was bored with it, and so I was able to see it for what it was. It was like a huge slaughter house and battery for the man that had started the weird colony. He was powered by the fun and enjoyment of other people.

After doing some super sleuthing I located this man and had a show down with him where I realised that it was 'fun' that gave him strength. I remember jumping around him shouting 'I'm not having fun, i'm not having fun.' Which meant I was free to go before the 5pm lock down time. I obtained some kind of document from him that was like my birth certificate and other things. I also located kate and brought her with me. Now, I remember there being two bodies buried under the tree, so I'm not sure if I completed my task or not. I'm not sure.

I went to the 'check out desk' (like an airport or hotel) and the woman wanted to see my yellow ticket, she approved it, and I showed her the other documents that I had gotten from the guy in charge of everything and then she let me go.

I was then back at my house, because this place was right outside my house, and I had my mum and kate with me and we were going back in to rescue Lola before 5pm. I was packing tonnes of stuff in my bag that we might need for an adventure. Which is something I always do, I always over pack. I had water, and rope, and tonnes of different documents like birth certificates and proof that Lola belonged to us.

We then started to venture back in, and at the top of the stairs the story changed, and my friend Kyle was the main character. We started following Kyle about as he worked out the challenges of the world and what it all meant. He went though the same story as I did, and then made it to the check out desk. When he handed over his yellow ticket, which is the most important part of needing to get out of the world, the woman said, 'Oh but you didn't complete your task.' And Kyle said 'They didn't show up at the time or in the place.' And the woman behind the desk told him 'They always show up, they can't not show up, they have an appointment to keep.' And then Kyle told her that sometimes they don't, if they change their mind about where they want to be or what they want from life. And there was a flash back cut to Kyle finding his assignment and talking to the man for a long time persuading him about his course of life so he wouldn't show up and so Kyle didn't have to kill him.

At this point the movie continued, but we panned out and I was sitting in a cinema watching it with all my family.

I looked back up at the screen and Tom Cruise appeared as the credits were rolling, he was doing a 'making of' presentation, and I exclaimed 'Of course, Tom Cruise had to be behind this kind of movie.' He started talking about how it was based on a true story because long ago someone had tried to use the method of 'assignments' to kill Joseph Smith in the past, and because of the death of Joseph Smith the Mormon church was created.

I don't know how that part ended because my brother started getting hit with sweets and a couple of seats down from us this girl from YSA in Dundee was sitting throwing stuff at him. That's her personality, quite the young, hyper kind of girl.

And about this point I decided enough was enough and I woke up.

I can actually see where a lot of the ideas have come from:

Dead Like Me — has the death assignment one
Heroes — for the carnival with someone that gets more powerful the more people are there
Heroes — again for the blood shed aspect
Spirited away — Also a carnival idea, and the visuals with the hedges were based on that

and my Visa application for the entire 'paperwork' aspect of things, having to hold on to scraps of paper, and show certificates to prove something.

The worst swimming session ever

2010-02-17T15:23:00.001Z

Because of my current line of work I've been ill pretty much every week since October. It's not fun. Touching gross ipods and iPhones and then touching our own machines in store that other grotty kids or people lacking in good hygiene have been touching. I sanatize often, but nothing seems to prevent the amount of sickness i've experience. Because of the sicknesses I've not been swimming in a long long time.

I went this afternoon, making this the third time in seven months that i've been in a swimming pool.

Now the past couple of days at work have been horrific, there's a mid-term school holiday, and for some reason the Apple store is the place to be. We have been babysitting for the past four days. We usually babysit at the weekends anyway, but this week has been horrible. Having to deal with kids rudely shouting at us to ask for help in emailing their lame Photo Booth pictures to themselves, and having to shut down porn sites after kids put porn on the screen and run away. It's actually horrific.

Anyway, today I thought I would go swimming. I've been feeling a bit better, and no impending sickness feels like it's heading my way. The last time I spoke to the doctor I suggested to her that as well as continuing on my inhalers (oh yeah, she gave me inhalers because my lungs have had enough of being ill and I have terrible chest pain reoccuring) that I would start swimming again to strengthen my vital organs.

So I went. I got there, I paid... FULL price I might add, and full price is about 30 minutes of working at apple. Got changed and then noticed that the 'fun pool' was closed and every child, off school today was in the big pool. I also noticed the kids off school. What a rookie mistake nad oversight. I thought I would be going at a calm time. But no.

Immediately after sitting my stuff down near where a lady was already doing some slow, head out of the water, breast stroke lengths, she shouted 2/3rds of the way down the pool at me "Excuse Me." So when she got close, I was like 'Yes...?" to which she said 'I'm swimming here.' To which I said "well, i'm going to swim next to you."

She was most afronted, and I didn't mean to be cheeky, but two people doing lengths in an area is better than one because it is more intimidating for the kids.

She swam away, then stood at the other end of the pool eyeing me up waiting for me to move, then she moved to the other side to make some kind of point. Weird.

After about 14 lengths half the pool got shut off. So 30+ people were crammed into half a pool, with no order or discipline. There were kids jumping in the pool (which is an international no-no I'm sure) and a lot of general disrespect. The thing is, I don't mind kids, they're having fun. There was just too many people jammed in that side of the pool.

The lady that had shouted at me previously gave me an apology and explanation and a very long story, which kept cutting into swim time.

I tried to keep going, but eventually when the pool reached 45-50 people in it. I had to stop. I was scared of getting jumped on and ending up paralysed or worse ending up hurting a kid. I don't swim super fast, but I don't swim super slow either, and my concentration isn't on who's in my way, it's on my muscle movement. So I could end up really hurting someone, especially when I have my hard plastic paddles on.

I stopped 4 lengths from finishing my first Kilometre, some more adults started appearing and they were outraged, I finally asked if we could be allocated a separate lane, the lifeguard went to ask permission and then I finished my kilometre proving a point that it was dangerous. The lifeguard informed me that it was too busy to put another lane in and that the kids would just sit on it. Hmmmm.

I got out.

I am livid. I'm 40 lengths down and 30 minutes of apple time out of pocket. I'm not happy. I think that's what made me mad the most is that when I was a student I could pay £4.50 and get in swimming for the entire year for free.

If I was unemployed or on benefits of any kind I could also get the same deal. But because I work, because I am not lazy or churning out kids for cash from the government I have to pay for the entire operation of the pool even although my local taxes are paying for that anyway. It's disgusting. Sincerly Britain is one of the only countries that you can make more money by being on benefits than you can by working.

The 'From the Cradle to the Grave' theory was implemented in the 1940s. I think it's time we called it dead, we tried it, it worked, it's now failing, and move on to something better.

I totally understand that some people are completely worthy of benefits, but the people that are lazy, or the people that claim sick benefit when they're actually recovering Heroine addicts, those are the ones that bother me. And the ones that have kids just so they don't have to work, so they get money from the government and have their house paid for. Those are the ones that need to be stopped. Seriously. It just breeds misery and depression and then boredom and violence and crime. The country is a disaster. The NHS is kind of nice though.

I also think, and this is quite controversial, that if you were to remove child benefit from those that have kids to get such benefits, then the crime rate, in about 12 years would deplete greatly. It's like that study written about in Freakonomics. The crime rate in New York didn't drop because of policing, it dropped because abortion became legal. now i'm not encouraging abortion, but I just think that if people weren't getting paid to have kids they would take contraception seriously, and thus prevent rather than terminate, and therefore kids that would have been born into poverty, misery and sloth wouldn't be, and then boredom, and crime would also vanish.

Oh so the stats.

200m FC
200m BS
200m FC Legs
200m FC arms
100m BS legs
100m BS arms
Then i gave up. Sad.

Dreams

2010-02-17T01:26:00.001Z

Recently I've been having some messed up dreams and a half.

Last night I started in ireland with my family and somehow got separated from them and was then kicking about with two people I went to Art school with. The two would never be friends in real life, but I was walking them home and they were saying that after our three years out we still had to go back and finish our honours year but they weren't going to do it because work was more important than the qualification. I told them I was going back to finish and I felt more like it was because I was not succeeding as a designer, but I didn't want them to know that so I told them it was because qualifications and paper matter because it's what sets us apart. But then, right before they were back at their flat I remembered I was moving and I was like 'Oh, i'm immigrating, I suppose I can't finish.' And that was the end of that.

The night before I had a dream that Jon was a hit man superhero. He was actually so awesome. So intelligent and smart at getting the job done. He had special powers of strength and agility and he was also this broody quiet character. My path and his kept meeting. It was like he was looking after me, but from afar.

In one scene of the dream he asked me to get him a pair of trousers. So I was using my super power (which was the same as Claire Bennett's from heroes — the power to regenerate) to get the trousers, which was really me just running up and trying to grab them. It was a whole suit meant to be. But I could only get the trousers, then some other guy was tugging at them and then Jon appeared and helped and essentially 'did it himself'. I then had to meet him in a hotel with the trousers, and somehow, i'm vague on the details, some random guy got 'taken care of' by Jon. So we had to leave the hotel room and he sent me off to do other errands because he was too dangerous to be around. I was then in a house with a guy that had a power and his wife was going to call an ambulance but he was protesting and I protested and I wanted to show him my power that we were the same, but the home help also had powers and she subtlety said don't you two talk about anything, you don't know who's listening, or something to that effect.

I then looked out the window and saw Jon, down the bottom of a cliff by a river hanging out a red sports car dumping a body. He was so smart, and so brave, and so unstoppable. He was clever. he always knew what items he had to bring to make an assignment go to plan.

The night before that my dream was about the oscars being in Glasgow. I was given someone's plus one ticket because a journalist couldn't attend. My old friend from high school took the main ticket then I was her plus one. I was at work finishing off a late shift before heading to the ceremony. Right before the shift ended one of the managers came up with a box of opened but unused iPhones. he said 'I'm going to throw these out, do you want them... take them.' So I took one, then no one else took one, so I took another for Jon. They were both Black at the back though and I thought that was odd because i've always thought I'd get a black one.

I then went to the Oscar's and all these people kept thinking I was this guy journalist that couldn't be there... but I wasn't.

The funny thing is, that it is more likely that the Oscars would be held in Scotland than Apple giving away iPhones to the staff.

Another day I dreamed that there was an evacuation and a bomb in london. The Nazi's were coming and i was terrified and didn't know where to go. I was totally alone and couldn't get a bus or a taxi or a train out of there. All these British soldiers just kept appearing telling me to evacuate because there was an invasion. Then my sister and niece appeared and I was worried they would slow me down and depend on me to get them out of there. The last thing I remember was crouching by a bridge as all the Nazis crossed into london and I just hoped they wouldn't be interested in me.

In Another dream I was in some kind of diner/ice cream parlour in Dundee. The details of that one are vague, but there was paper involved.

In another dream I was involved in an occult sacrifice with Satan, there were loads of Nuns around and then there was a baby born in a hospital and I went down to see it.

I really worried about that dream for a day, but then I got over it.

In another dream I was engaged to someone I went to art school with, although they were meant to be Jon, but not really. But then the person just vanished and wouldn't text me back or answer my phone calls, and all my class mates were like... he just wanted to give you clean break, it's better this way.

In another gory dream loads of people had powers like in heroes and sylar, who didn't look like sylar, and I kind of had a thing for was on the rampage. He slaughtered loads of people in this house and I was looking for places to hide. he kept killing people in front of me. And finally he stopped. I was worried he was going to kill me, but it turned out I had never been mean to him. I specifically remember seeing people I knew from years ago dead on the ground with blood everywhere.

In another dream jon and I were in Ireland and there was a movie being filmed and there were characters that were meant to be Jon and Me, but then movie character Jon dumped movie character Vikki as part of the plot. Then the movie was meant to turn into something like saw, which I've never seen, but I know that the premise is something to do with self harming to escape from an unideal situation.

In another I was meant to be meeting an old friend but everytime I showed up at their house they weren't in, and they would go to my house and I wasn't in, and it was a frustrating disaster.

In another I was with Toni, Eilidh, and Toni's husband and then these mobsters were coming for us through a garden fence and i started to peg it with eilidh out through the close because we were in a back garden. Then I felt bad for leaving toni, then Eilidh and I got chased, and he was going to totally abuse us, but then i told him we were lesbians and he went away. Then I felt wretched for leaving Toni.

I think that's it for the weird freaky dreams. I have one every night, so I should really write more about them. They are crazy. Most of them are pretty much about people I've not seen in a long time from the past, about Jon, or about terrifying things. I might need to change my diet.

I actually do look up certain symbols in dreams, because I find it really interesting, and they are actually a lot more skewed than obvious. Blood in a dream is supposed to symbolise guilt I think, and babies are to do with renewal of life and changing life, and lesbianism is to do with being happy about certain characteristics of the self.

http://www.dreammoods.com/

That's the website I tend to use the most. I love just looking up random objects of things from my dreams and seeing if it is at all relevant.

The S Stand Appeal

2010-02-17T00:48:00.000Z

Okay here's my problem.

I sell and talk a lot about these:

Now.

When i talk about the stand part of the iPhone there is a word. Look at how it works. The stand is just a piece of plastic shaped like an S. This can only stand the iPhone up because of the weight distribution of the phone. The phone leans into the arch of the s, pushing the furthest away point into the table.

My problem is that there is a word for this, and I cannot, for the life of me think of what that word is.

I've heard the word used before in regards to self-defence because a lot of the martial arts use the limited agility of bones — bones can only bend in a certain way and if you bend someone's arm-bone in a certain way they will be forced to release their grip on you. Or something like that.

I have an appeal... help me find this word.

Words it is not:

Ergonomics
Leverage

can't Stop

2010-02-08T01:14:00.002Z

I heard this song on Rock Radio the other day and totally remembered that, when i was wee, I used to think the line 'I can't stop this thing we started' was 'I can't stop this thing with MARTY'

Now, who is marty? I'm not sure. Marty McFly?

Anyway... I remembered and it made me laugh.

I've not been about because my laptop was at the apple store from Friday last last week until Thursday last week. Crazy. 6 days. I found myself using my mothers 13inch baby a lot. The 13inch was nice. It was weird going back to massive BRAND NEW SCREEN. That's right, under the Apple Care Protection Plan I got my screen replaced. Not just the LCD Panel but the entire part. So half my laptop is brand new. :)

They also cleaned out my fans, so now it doesn't sound like a helicopter, and they must have cleaned out my firewire port too, because it now works with my WD hard drive. 5 years warranty on that thing, crazy.

Anyway.

I have spray paint in my lungs, on my thumb and on some of my bracelets, so it might be time to retire to bed. That and Jon is unavailable this weekend for chat. So I'm rendered unsure what to do with the time.

Jon is hitting up the Potato state with his family for the second to newest edition's blessing. he sent me a cheeky wee image of Caleb last night, which could melt hearts. I totally wish I had been able to go to the blessing. For some reason, things like blessings, because they are impromptu (non-holiday) family gatherings, always seem to attract me. I think it's the sincerity involved, people are there because they want to be, not because it's Christmas or Thanksgiving and they have to be. The gist is, I wish I was there to get to know Jon's family better, and to meet Caleb... and witness some priesthood action... I've always had a thing for watching priesthood power. :):):)

xxxxxxxxx

Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros

2010-01-29T00:58:00.001Z

Amazing.

Thank you Chris Daines for providing me with such audical wonder and delight.

Chris' first recommendation when giving me the album was to listen to Home first.

On my second listen of the album I realised I already knew this song... and I'm not sure how. How do I know it, the only way I think I might know it is from apple. Possibly Apple and their playlist.

Today was okay, I was back at work. I bought deoderant from lush and it cost £6 that's a lot of money to avoid getting cancer from using normal anti-persperant, I hope it pays off in the end.

I went to work, I worked. I saw a band called The Deadly Gentlemen because they were in apple doing a pre-show show.

That's exactly what they look like

They were okay, it made a change from normal work. It was nice. I just stood for a bit. It was awesome.

I got home at 8:30, tried to book tickets for the Glasgow Film Festival, but couldn't. Watched how i met your mother and then came back online to work out visa stuff then spoke to Jon for a bit. And now... Now, it's bed time because tomorrow 17inch mac daddy pro is going to the genius bar and might not come back for a couple of days.. we'll see... all before I start work... and now I have to go get film festival tickets in person. Sigh. I miss Jon, it's been a horrible week, I'm going to admit it. Today was my first day out of the house since he left. He left. Sad. I am a tiger though, so that's been a definite plus point.

The Tiger Who...

2010-01-27T21:16:00.001Z

... Came to Tea.. and did various other things too.

For my Christmas present my awesome wee brother, at my request, bought me a Kigurumi from kigu.co.uk

It's actually the best thing ever. I sadly had to wait for it until now because they were sold out before Christmas... no wonder, they're so flippin cool.

Anyway... here are a variety of things that tigers do on a Wednesday:

Tigers dance... oh boy how they dance with excitement. They are tigers, and that is something to be excited about. This tiger danced and danced.

Tigers don't dance like you and I. They swish their tail, and use their arms and legs and their paws and claws to make shapes in the air. They also gnash their teeth and sometimes make growling sounds. The growling sounds aren't mean though, just happy and excited growls.

Tigers can jump really high, they can pounce and run very fast.

They can also dance while they run, jump and pounce. Oh how they love to dance run jump and pounce. It's what tigers like the best.

Tigers get hungry because of all the running, jumping, pouncing, and dancing. The thing tigers like to eat when they are hungry is eggs. EGGS! Tigers love eggs after they dance, run, jump and pounce.

Sometimes tigers get bored of waiting for eggs to cook so they play with the other jungle cats. This makes them more hungry, but the eggs will eventually cook, so it's okay. The other jungle cats are hungry too, they have claws, and teeth, and ears, and tails, and they like to jump, pounce, dance, and run too. The other jungle cats purr and growl as well, but only with excitement and joy when the tiger plays with them.

The eggs always need checked though, and stirred with a big spoon, not a big tiger paw, otherwise it will burn.

When tigers eat they must always... ALWAYS... sit at the table.

Tigers love chopped up egg in a cup with soldiers. They think it's delicious. They also like the toast to not have the butter melted on it. Tigers will have to invent a toast cooler one day to make the process of cooling toast a little faster.

Once tigers have eaten they always like watching heroes.

Three episodes of heroes in the one day. They like seeing super powers. Tigers don't have super powers because they don't need them, they can already jump very high, run very fast, pounce very accurately and dance, oh how they can dance.

Tigers always get sleepy. So they have to have cat naps. They curl in a ball and sleep near the other jungle cats for warmth and in case they are surprised fun attacked by a monkey in the middle of their nap. Tigers always dream about dancing, and eggs... but oh how they dream about dancing.

Things I hope apple anounce today

2010-01-27T15:28:00.001Z

1. The Tablet.

Not what you were all anticipating, but in actual fact an oral consumption tablet that will give us all super powers (when downloaded from the 'power store') and heal all human illnesses.

2. The Tablet.

Again, not quite what was anticipated but a new branch of the company that focuses on the confectionery side of things. My Gran had the best recipe for tablet, perhaps that's why she had to die.

3. The Tablet.

The apple branded version of the big stone tablet that Azlan (not Jesus) was self-sacrificed on. Public use would be for our own self sacrificing.

4 The Tablet.

So that every person that knows how to read rumour sites will stop asking me when the tablet is being released, and if I know any more about it.

Why yes sir, I do more about it, I'm not allowed to tell you but because you are wearing a jacket today I feel like I will impart my knowledge to you. Of course we know nothing, why would we be trusted to know stuff... seriously. People.

5. The iKitchen.

A whole new range of kitchen appliances with the ability to play MP3s or M4vs.

6. The iTransporter.

Because I want to see what kind of errors can happen when you plug it into iTunes on a PC.

Sigh.

12 days of Jon

2010-01-26T01:48:00.001Z

The past 12 days were utterly magical and I got to see Jon himself. For the first time in six months, gosh it was a long time. Luckily I was fortunate to have apple to help me pass some of the time.

He started his UK travelling journey at like 2am my time on Monday the 11th (Yayy for 11), and got here on Tuesday at like 7pm.

I'm actually going to do a boring low down. Hopefully not too horrible or boring, but that's what I'm doing. I didn't blog once while he was here because I didn't want to waste precious time talking about him when I could be creating new memories with him.... cheese almighty.

I was late picking him up from the airport because, apparently, I was seeking revenge for the last time he came to get me in Salt Lake and I was early and he was still on time so I had to wait.

This time he was also early, but I knew about it because I was checking flight tracker, but the BA website and flight tracker told me two different stories, and then traffic was still a little heavy from rush hour so it took me longer to get the aeropuerto than normal.

There was no huge dramatic running, or huge people scene. The airport was empty, and he was sitting, waiting, with a few people dotted around, we did have that awkward moment when you see someone from a distance then you have to wait for them to come closer, and you can't decide if you should keep eye contact, then you don't know where to look either.

I got me some hugs though, and I'm not going to lie it was weird having it be real again and it not being something that only existed in my imagination. It was amazing though, and possibly one of the most emotional but non-external emotional moments in my life.

I took him home, and put him to bed, but he was resisting bed, and stayed up until about 10 then almost died of sleep deprivation. Travelling in an Eastward direction is a nightmare. Travelling West is much easier. I went to bed a few hours later after watching Limmy's show on iPlayer, which is actually quite funny in an odd way. Very unobvious humour.

Anyway. I was woken at 4am by Jon who thought it was 8am (because he was looking at the time on his computer 8pm california time). He wanted Chinese food, I told him to go raid the kitchen and continued to sleep. 4am is early.

In the real morning, we got up and got ready and sat around for too long to do anything. We went and got my embassy and passport photos taken, then headed to Kate's house for Chinese food and some awesome banter from the Ray, Kate and Amelia.

When we left my tyre was making a weird noise as I did a U-turn, and, for the first time in my life I had a flat tyre.

Luckily my spare wasn't flat, but just a thin tread. The only issue we had was getting the hub cap off because I tie them on with cable ties, for lack of finding scissors in the car (which I found the next morning) I ripped it off with brute force because Jon was freezing to death.

We team work changed the tyre and got totally dirty.

More than likely we watched a movie before heading to our separate bunk beds, but i'm not actually sure. i can't remember.

On thursday Jon and Vikki did Glasgow.

we were late getting up as always, and I was a bit slow at taking pictures that day.

We went to see the transport museum (which I love), and the art gallery which is an amazing building. We then went to the City centre and saw Royal Exchange Square lights and a bit of Goma before heading to Hamleys and the Disney store with the old school figures and scenes around the tops shelves of the shop.

We then met Claire for 20 minutes before she had to work, and then we walked around town for a bit and went to Waterstones and McDonalds. we then headed to George Square and on to the Cathedral and the oldest house in Glasgow. We then came home and I'm sure we watched a movie that night... Jon and I are all about movies... a life without movies would be sad.

On Friday I had to work, and when I came home we had dinner and then went to the cinema (after a trip to asda) to see 'it's complicated' because Jon is actually a lovely guy and doesn't mind taking a 'girly movie' hit. We were meant to go to a Rugby game but when I came in from work Jon was playing Risk with my wee brother. I didn't want to interrupt because he seemed to be having a whale of a time, but apparently it was a 6 hour game that was not as entertaining as it appeared.

Saturday was a work day for me as well and when I got in I did some car research to see if I could stop a high pitched squealing noise coming from my Ka. It started doing it again (it did it last year, and stopped about 8 months ago) on the way to the airport to get Jon. I defused the noise but sadly also defused the back lights which are rather essential for motorway driving.

After some deciding we went to Stirling and just 'took' the noise. It was well worth it though. Stirling castle is my favourite. I'm sad we never got inside (it was super late), but it was worth seeing the small streets and the buildings in Stirling.

On Sunday after Church we headed out to Loch Lomond, Luss, to have free short bread. My favourite place around Loch Lomond is Luss, it's so pretty and it's the closest beach to Glasgow, so in summer it's always busy, and people jump off the big pier. People like the awesome and brave Toni.

We drove up through Helensburgh and down by Faslane to see the MoD bases. There's a huge area of hills that's all fenced off because underneath is like 60% of the UKs nuclear weapons. It's all tunnels, lorries and snippers, and on the top it just looks like hills and a forrest. I couldn't find the exact location and it was also really dark. It gets dark here at 4pm just now, which sucks, it makes it really difficult to do things.

We headed home and had huge family dinner and hung out with Kate Ray Amelia Lola Mat Amie Kris and my mum. It was really goodly awesome. I loved it. And I kept getting into trouble for being overly motherly and checking up on Jon's eating habits.

Kate then coaxed Jon into giving a short three step demonstration of his moonwalking skills because she spent a good twenty minutes going up and down our laminate floor trying to do it.

On Monday I think we went to wagamamas. We went to Boots to get me a second inhaler and then we went to wagamamas, which was amazing. After that we went to see the Roman Ruins of the bath house which are close to where I live. They're pretty cool, we were struggling in the dark again, but I think we survived okay. Just no images to prove it.

Tuesday I was sick as a sick thing, so we stayed in all day, boring I know, but I really was not well. We got to hang out with each other all day though and I didn't have to share Jon with the world :)

Wednesday was Edinburgh day. We got up early enough and ran out the house with the desire to get there for the 1 o' clock gun. we ran for the train and timed everything well.

We got there on time, and hoofed it up the hill, and into the castle with about 5 minutes to spare. It was the first time I'd ever seen the 1 o' clock gun and the first time I think i've been into Edinburgh castle. I remember being outside it loads, but never inside.

Jon was immediately impressed by the cobbled streets and the curving buildings and the old stairs.

The gun was loud and amazing, I wish I had taken photos of the actual event, but I just got the gun afterwards

We wandered through the castle for a while and saw the crown jewels and lots of different caverns and holes and rooms. We also saw some prisons that housed americans during the civil war and i was joking that it had just got personal.

When we were leaving the castle we were asked if we wanted to purchase a souvenir photo pack (they took the picture on the way in). The photo was ridiculous looking because of my face and they had placed the same photo through various places in the castle, it was actually really comical.

From the castle we walked down to Greyfriars bobby and then to monster mash, then we headed down to the parliament building and then back to Princes street for a wander before going home on the train. We got home and then went to see Krystyl because she was quitting vet school and going home on Thursday. We hung out there until about 11:30 with Krystyl and Josh, and Krystyls room mate that made replica carrot cake from Mimi's cafe.

Thursday we slept in really late and I had hoped to do some Perth/Dundee/St Andrews and Laura, but it turned into a quick trip to Killearn before the sun went down and a peek in the dark of some scottish countryside.

Friday I was back at work and when I got home Jon and i went for dinner with Mary the Skills Mills and Colin. We went to the wee curry shop and it was awesome. The night ended with some quick hot chocolate at tinderbox and then to their house for some late night banter. It was actually really good. I love the skillso.

saturday Was haggis night with my mother.

I wouldn't tell Jon what was in the meaty haggis until after he consumed it, but oddly he wasn't phased by it's ingredients and he did declare that he preferred the meaty one over the vegetarian one.

We then went to see Donna and Daniel and got some serious chat on until the early morn. Then we went to Asda to get Jon some Cheese to take home and, because I had a serious case of the munchies, and had to show Jon the joy of the chippy we went on a Chippy adventure and went to Eilidh's bit to Philadelphia.

It tasted so good.

Sunday was church and was meant to be engagement photos but I was up so late the night before I slept through the daylight after church, and now I am filled with serious regret. Nevermind. we'll work something out. :)

We did get a very random 'family' picture

Kate came over to say bye to Jon with the small baby child and then I packed some of my stuff in Jon's case and then bed was imminent.

Then, this morning... he left. He really did go despite being asked by various friends and family members from the first whole day of being here if he would extend and stay or not.

After the airport I came home and slept the day away, and then started on furthering our visa. I really can't live and be a normal 100% person without him. Fact.

walking by faith

2010-01-26T00:57:00.000Z

So, I've spent a large portion of today gather e-relationship evidence. That stands for electronic... ie, things online. Currently I'm going through my blogs and I found this, again... I know it was only 6 months ago, but I feel like I have to mention it again because it's so amazing. She can sing so well, really really well, but her small bouncing curls, facial expressions, and her ability to cough and have the piano stop is amazing. Not to mention her not knowing the words at one point and singing like I do in church sometimes... here we go:

One more time, Stephanie May Cramer:

Jonathan Carr

2010-01-10T01:14:00.000Z

... and his seven piece wonder band.

I work with this dude. And for ages he's been trying to get me to listen to his myspace music page. Eventually I told him I would attend his gig and then be surprised on the night.

I

WAS

SURPRISED.

I kid you not. The boy has some crazy vocals. Crazy vocals.

Although his music isn't 100% my taste, it's incredible. Very well composed and conducted, and incredibly performed.

It's kind of country Jazz. I've been describing it as Bruce Springsteen meets The Rat Pack meets 'Britain's Got Talent' (it has just that edge of 'clean vocals' that is ever present on those talent reality TV shows.

Anyway.

The highlight, for me, was when he did a Michael Jackson intro into the beginning of one of his songs which he wrote back in June when Jackson died. Mr Carr Man's song, called 1958, was merged with the intro of the incredible vocal variant Jackson song 'The way you make me feel'. And, I wish I had had some form of video equipment, hearing the intro performed live, in a way that was almost a ghostly echo of the King himself was well worth the five fine pounds I paid to go to the gig. Amazing.

I must also add that I am dying, and the emergency GP didn't think I was, I think I am. I have pneumonia, and she won't believe me. I'm going to the doctors again on Monday.

Anyway, I had pre-paid for my ticket for tonight, and therefore made myself go, otherwise I would have stayed in the one spot comatose in my bed.

Here is mr carr's myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/jonathan.carr

and some photos I made myself take:

Ever blurry as always, I'm starting to like the blur, it's becoming my style.

Anyway, Mr Carr is an awesome work colleague, and he's always got my apple back, so I made myself go tonight despite the cold outside, and the time it took to scrape and defrost my car. It was definitely interesting, and there were loads of apple people there. I was standing at the back with lots of them for ages, and then some idiots in front of and next to me wouldn't stop talking loudly and then they kept standing in front of me and no matter where I stood to see around them they would move their heads (talking to each other) in front of me. So I eventually threw in the towel and rudely pushed my way to the front to 1. Get pictures and 2. See the band and 3. Hear the band in all it's loud glory.

I love King Tuts. I think any band that plays in King Tuts sounds good... or at least the headline tuts anyway.

What's crazy is that a guy I work with at apple was the sound guy, and another was their photographer. Apple is just heaving with talent, it always surprises me. Apple international have an annual singing competition like X-factor, and last year 2008, it was won by a girl in the Glasgow store called Steph. She won something like 60k of money to spend on music equipment. Now this was out of all the apple employees in all the world. She got flown to California for the finals and everything. Kind of crazy.

Pet Hates of 2010

2010-01-10T00:14:00.001Z

It's 9 days into 2010 and I've already started hating.

Things I hate:

the words: Should, hopefully

I hate these non-committal phrases.

'Well it should work when you plug a into b'
'Hopefully that cable will work out for you'

Apple did it to me, we make no solid promises, 'that should be in fixed now'. GAH.

Dislike, dislike, dislike.

I'm not going to lie

2010-01-08T00:45:00.001Z

... I'm mildly mad and sad about this:

http://www.thedrum.co.uk/jobs/details/17937/Digital_Designer.html

What this is, is my job. I was the first person to have it, and I can assure you I never got paid that much for it, since then, one other person has had my job, and then I took it back on a freelance basis. Then my boss/web guru/friend left and the new boss doesn't like me all that much.

Anyway, I think it's mildly rude. I'm here, I'm available part time hours until they get someone else. I understand why they haven't asked me, I'm leaving, and I hate working there full time, and I've done it so they probably want some fresh blood, but still, I'm sad about it.

My job. I'm very possessive over it. I own it.

Serving the Rich

2010-01-06T02:38:00.000Z

Before christmas I served a lovely man, who shook my hand before leaving the shop, and his friend. He paid using a titanium American Express card. I thought nothing much of it at the time, and gave him some good old friendly banter.

Last week I struck up a conversation with another customer about the titanium card and the man told me that it was an American Express card and that there are a limited number of them in the world (he said 5000) and that if you have one you're pretty much in the elite of rich people.

I just looked it up on wikipedia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centurion_Card

I wish I could remember the man's name. I remembered for hours afterwards, but now, it's gone. Just to see who he actually is. Pretty wicked though. Apple is awesome.

Christ Mas

2009-12-24T19:50:00.001Z

Seven Swans a Swimming

2009-12-19T01:32:00.001Z

Sometimes, when I feel sad, or tired, or exasperated I look at photos on etsy of my wedding dress. They always please me.

Today was the second anniversary of me being married to Kayleigh on facebook. Last year she sent me an anniversary card, if I was a good facebook wife friend I would have sent her something this year. If I was a good wife friend I would have sent her something for christmas as well. Instead I am a bad wife friend and haven't. I will do it though. I wish I didn't get paid in air, it would make everything a lot easier. I wish I had won the lottery on my birthday with the lottery ticket Kayleigh gave me, then I could have gone to Salt Lake and seen her for five minutes and bought her anniversary dinner. So many buts, and the plain truth is that I'm a bad friend.

In other news though, I managed to get into ANOTHER facebook fight today. Where are people coming from with their lamness. This is in no way as entertaining as the last beard fight, this is actually kind of messed up, and I think I say a bad word in the transcript. Bad person, bad friend. That's me. Maybe the P word isn't a bad word in America, thus making it okay, because Jesus is American after all. Right? That's what mormons believe, yeah?

I actually served an American woman today in apple. Americans in apple are starting to become common. I gave her some visa chat and she then said 'are you moving to Salt Lake?' and I was totally taken aback, but then she admitted to seeing my CTR and she informed me she had lived in Salt Lake for 13 years and that she loved it. I agreed. I know I moan sometimes about it, but it's still kind of awesome, and the public transport system isn't completely heinous, just as long as you want to stick to some main parts of town.

Anyway, it took me a while to work out that she herself was a mormon, she wasn't clear on that from the start. She told me of her current marriage, and mentioned her first marriage, and then she gasped and covered her mouth and said 'Oh I shouldn't talk about that,' I think I gave her a funny look and then attempted to calm her fears and inform her that I was no judging her. She then proceeded to tell me how funny she thought it was that she was still sealed to her previous husband, and he was married to someone else, and also that she was married to a non-member and that she always jokes to both her ex husband and current husband about how she will be another wife to her first husband... at this point it got slightly awkward because it was a little strange. Apparently her and her ex husband have an amazing relationship still, so she's quite happy to still be templey married to him. I think I changed the subject by saying something like 'that's what's awesome about being a mormon — we can laugh at ourselves.' But I don't think that's what she was going for with her story.

Nothing else crazy eventful happened today, my train was late, and then they turned it into an express train and it missed three stops and I got to work on time. Amazing. I've never had that happen before, kind of crazy.

I also watched the end of Boyfriend For Christmas again on Christmas 24.... i love that movie, it's so lame, but it's amazing at the same time.

I watched some Dead Like Me, I rested my eyes, I watched the end of another lame Christmas 24 movie, I watched the end of beetlejuice and I watched the very end of jonathan Ross and he had three priests singing Silent Night at the end, it was A MAZE ING.

And that pretty much sums up Friday I think.

I definitely need to blog smog more. Definitely.

I also found out today I can get a large discount off iPods. I wish I had money so I could use these discounts. I mean, I love LOVE my old ipod, but for the third time this week I've had to frantically rub the back of it where the battery is because it's cold. And when it's cold it doesn't recognise the charge in the battery, so I have to warm the battery, it annoys people on the train because they don't know what I'm doing, and they fear what they don't know.

I've also began coveting deeply the new matt screen 17inch mac book pro... every now and then I go over and rub it. I feel like i'm cheating on the 17 inch mac daddy pro 1, I'm not though. I love 17inch Mac Daddy Pro 1. He's just almost 3 years old, and I don't trust technology past it's 3 year sale date.

I do declare that it is bedtime though. I don't feel tired, but as soon as I get into bed I'm sure I will be.

Hodest House

2009-12-18T00:52:00.000Z

Last Thursday I went to see modest mouse. There was smoking people that got kicked out, there were tall people, rude people that disobey gig etiquette of small people before tall people and the lead singer stood on the far away right. There's no photo of him.

He actually told us a story about cough medicine, and he used his voice, the very same one from the 'freebird dialogue' at the end of their live song 'paper thin walls'.

They played paper thin walls, float on (as heard in rock band 2 by 50% of the audience) and their finale encore was dramamine. It was amazing. I would pay just to hear that live extended version again.

The whole gig was pretty impressive, and they can surely put on a show. Six of them, two or three guitars, two drum kits, a violin, a trumpet and piano/synth thing... it was music collaboration at its finest.

A series of fortunate and unfortunate events.

2009-12-18T00:32:00.000Z

I'm lacking in the age run down weekly blog thing.

I'm lacking in the blog thing in general.

Today.

As a list.

Not so good
1. I heated my milk for my cornflakes this morning and there was a weird yellow film on one side when I took it out the microwave. It looked like melted butter. I thought it was just a skin or something. I poured the cornflakes in and took one bite and it tasted like hot melted butter. I took a second bite just to make sure.

2. I didn't have time to make another breakfast.

3. I left the house without bongela (for my mouth ulcers), a pen for work, and my train pass.

4. A stole a pen at work from the till, and it burst within an hour, all over my t-shirt, jumper, hand, name tag, jeans and later that day I discovered my pocket and leg were covered in ink as well.

5. I missed my lunch hour by 50 minutes, because I was being lame and couldn't put through a personal set-up data transfer.

6. I had to work until 8pm

7. When I caught the train home a drunk guy was confused and gave me the responsibility of getting him off the train at his stop. When I woke him he wouldn't listen or get off, and I eventually said 'No seriously, this is your stop, I'm not even joking' at which point he looked out the window himself and leapt up and got off the train.

8. How I met your mother season 4 episode one was pish... I really really really don't like the actress from Scrubs. She was a bad cast. The rest of the cast were good because they were kind of no-names or been-trying-for-ages-famous-in-cult-circles-names. Bad cast.

9. When I got in from work I sat on the couch waiting for How I met your mother only to realise it wasn't on for another hour, and then the cat sat on me. When I went upstairs to change I could smell something weird, and thought it was my bed (where the cat sits), or my jumper, then I realised it was on face, because it had been rubbed off my hair. Yes, the cat had fish-juiced on my hair a little. I severely need to get her dressed. I would have this month but I got taxed 35% and I'm still raging about it.

10. I have a gouge in my finger, it's small but it hurts.

11. My sister woke me up 15 minutes before I was meant to be up and this is how everything started going bad. She needed keys because the girl can never be trusted with keys, she can never be trusted with anything. I'm glad her daughter can walk otherwise she would have lost her by now. Seriously. I remember going to see Bambi or something in the cinema and having to take charge of the money because my sister would somehow lose it. She's four years older than me, I must have been five and she nine when I was going to the cinema with the money.

Because she woke me 15 minutes early I felt hard done by and stayed in bed an extra hour, until 9:50. Then everything was just a rush. A pure rush.

AND I had a tonne of emails from 'a client' all about crazy stuff, and miscommunication I think.

Happy happy joy joy stuff

1. I got an email this morning from USCIS saying that our visa petition for me has been approved and a letter has been sent, to Jon.

I was actually so happy that I almost shed a tear... I welled but I didn't shed. It was the oddest relief.

2. I sold two computers today with a 50% attach rate of One-to-one.

3. I caught my train and got to work on time.

4. I didn't have to go outside in the snow in my iron man boots.

5. I caught my train home without waiting no more than 10 seconds for it to leave the station

6. I got to have an awesome shower after work (because of the gross cat smell hair)

7. It's almost Christmas. And Christ is awesome.

An Ode to a beard.

2009-12-09T19:35:00.000Z

By request here are some photos of Marcus' beard and how has developed since he finished his mission almost two years ago.

This, currently, is his profile picture:

A chronological photographic diary of a beard:

King of the Jungle.

2009-12-09T17:46:00.001Z

I've been looking for we kids singing this song for weeks now, since I heard an old tape of me singing it when I was a protestant.

it doesn't kick in until about 1.30 in.

Those kids are asian it makes it better.

This one is even better and it isn't as slow to start.

OH MY GOSH... to a dance routine:

This one is wrong because she roars rather than making monkey noises, and she's not asian, but it's still one of note that made me laugh.

I could post these all day. This is my last one because these asian kids are cute and because the words are on the screen. If I ever teach a primary class I will learn them good and teach them Protestant sunday school songs. Amazing.

beards part 4 - one down two to go.

2009-12-09T17:19:00.001Z

Jack Wilde 09 December at 17:11 Report
how do i block u.... ur doing ma box in wea ur snash and crap patter... and u call me negative... did u just judge me... and u cant call me because ur a reject/loOser/gimp.
have a great life my lost love, maybe one day

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
the most kisses u will ever get... EVER

My response to that was never received because he learned how to block me before I replied. However, it was:

I will savour those kisses if they are the last. I had a dream the other night that had a lot of kissing in it. Then the man from FedEx rang the door and I was totally mad because the dream went away. I suspect you're right, between that dream and your x's those are the most kisses I will receive. Thanks for your kindness.

If I am judging you it's because I have a rule, Judge those that judge my best friends. I'm merely telling you that your perceptions and the things you think are true doctrine and commandments are not. And if they were you don't embarrass someone in a public and cowardice manner. You have no idea who could have read that and been turned off from the church. No idea.

Good luck with your blocking and beard growing endeavours.

May I ask what snash means? It's not in my vocabulary?

And also, I can't call you because I don't have your phone number it has nothing to do with me being loose. As I've said, being loose might be something I can only discuss with my bishop. And as for gimp, I have thought about trying that out, although I think that is definitely against the church teachings and you would have a hard time getting me into the celestial kingdom if I had been gimping myself.

Beards part 3

2009-12-09T17:06:00.001Z

Now you might be wondering why I would waste my day off communicating with three losers. I'm not, I'm doing some design work and this just keeps me entertained during the monotony.

Luke Garroway 09 December at 13:14 Report
Attacking? I left 1 comment which was the view of a member of the 70 on the subject being discussed! You have again highlighted the fact your a looser with your massive email and have clearly not taken my advice to be more productive in your use of time. I think an American giving any1 fashion tips is very funny! haha
Love Luke xx

Vikki Miller 09 December at 15:11
As a the newest of the American population I would like to get in touch with my feelings as Americans do. And I would like to bare my testimony that I believe in the fashion sense of Luke Garroway. Luke has opened my eyes to new prospects of clothing in my wardrobe that I never knew I could wear before. And how I feel in them just makes me well up with tears because I am so happy to be in the Church of Luke Garroway of Latter-day Saints. Your teachings inspire me to be a better person and to judge everyone that I know so that they can all feel victimised and made to feel shunned from other members of the church. Your example is astounding.

Thank you for sharing my email with one of your musketeers, the three of you and your inner magic circle of example is an inspiration to me. I'm thinking of starting my own inner cult within the church. Maybe you three can give me advice. Mine is going to be about tank tops and Kevin Bacon, who, again, will be our looser idol. Do you think it will take off and isolate and judge as many people as your own club?

Do you guys have sandwiches cut into triangle when you meet for your club? I used to be in a swimming club, to stay 'loose' and they had sandwiches cut into triangles afterwards.

I would also like to say that out of the '70' comments left on Marcus' profile only you and your band of merry men the musketeers were the ones that left something negative, nasty, and entirely off-putting that would make any non-member think twice about associating with members of the church or even taking discussions. Your inner circle magic club with triangle sandwiches are an amazing example to us all.

I say these things in the name of Luke Garroway. Amen.

Luke Garroway 09 December at 15:26 Report
You r a self rightous blasphemer. :)Love Luke xx

Luke Garroway 09 December at 15:45 Report
I think im falling in love with you btw :P xxx

Vikki Miller 09 December at 08:49
I am so pleased that you think I have done well in being self-righteous, I was following your example, I was trying to be like you (like that primary song, I'm trying to be like Luke Garroway). It makes me so happy to know that I achieved a level of self-righteousness that was noticeable to you and that you approve. Thank you.

As for the blasphemy part you are right, that's something I need to work on. It's like an addiction, it could be because I haven't shaved the hair off my legs in about 2 months that god won't free me from my addiction to blasphemy. I know he likes to punish people with hair growth. That's what you teach isn't it? I sometimes get my churches mixed up. You see, I'm not only in the church of Luke Garroway of Latter-day Saints, I'm also in the Church of Kevin Bacon, the Church of Tom Cruise (which I think is Scientology), the church of Woody Allen (also known as the Jews) and the Protestant church. I was christened when I was a child and my god father gave me a silver spoon. I never used it. I sometimes wonder that if I had used the spoon if it would have given me riches and people could refer to me as a the girl with the silver spoon. I think that almost sounds like a superhero name. Oh that's the other church i'm in The Church of Superman and Wonder woman. That's my favourite because it means I can wear my pants over my tights and i can also wear short skirts, with boots. I also get to fly. Granted I am made to grow a beard and take drugs before 'I fly', but I think it's fine because it's part of their church's teachings, it's almost like the equivalent of the sacrament in the Church of Luke Garroway.

As for your love, I am not inclined at this time to return your love. I'm currently involved with Wonder Woman herself, we got chatting after one of our meetings while eating a triangle shaped sandwiches. Triangle shaped sandwiches are always better, there was tuna in side it. Oddly enough wonder woman likes egg sandwiches. I always wondered who ate egg sandwiches. There you go, Wonder Woman. I imagine that my relationship with her will end pretty soon, she's an attractive lady and it would take a lot to keep her anchored, and given how strong she is she might actually accidently kill me or something. Either way I'll be sure to keep your name in my 'hat of names' for such times that I am looking to pursue another love. It's a fair system, everyone interested goes in a hat, and I pull out a name. Just keep your fingers crossed.

Jack Wilde 09 December at 13:58 Report
hahahahahaha, check the state of that essay u have just wrote.... U must be a such a big looser, probs not married or have kids or a life.... its good u go 2 church though, keep up the good work, and ur obviously not the sharpest tool in the shed. Half of the stuff u said is alot of crap.

ohh, 1 more thing..... get a life, just incase it didn't register the first time.

Jack Wilde 09 December at 14:02 Report
HECK:

Vikki Miller 09 December at 04:29 Report
Maybe you can give me some good advice on being productive. You seem to believe that attacking someone about something irrelevant and pathetic is a good way to use my time. Maybe I will follow this pattern.

Therefore I will use my time to shop for V-neck tank tops and over-style my hair.

True story I used to have a tank top, but Jade Goody wore the same one on Big Brother five and I tried to sell it to the press as Jade Goody's tank top. I didn't even wash it so that I could claim it was her sweat. They didn't buy it though because I'm not the same size as Jade Goody and because it wasn't washed I couldn't even claim that it had shrunk because I put it in a 90 degree wash or something.

Thanks for noticing how loose I am as well. I try and do yoga as often as I can, and I swim too, so that keeps my limbs and muscles loose. Although this is the first time I've been called an actual looser. Maybe I should start a club or something, for people that like to let loose, get loose, or that are naturally foot loose. I wonder if I could get Kevin Bacon to come. He filmed footloose in Salt Lake City, that must mean Marcus knows him. I'm sure Marcus can hook me up with Mr Bacon so that he can lead the loosers club. Failing him I will employ someone that loves tank tops as much as you and I do and dress that person up as a slice of bacon and call him Mr Bacon. I think that would do the trick.

Sorted.

hahaha, just ur average essay yeah

Vikki Miller 09 December at 15:01
Ahhh Jack. I'm pleased you got my email. Congratulations on your own marriage and your kids.

I also want to congratulate you on your amazing skills of life, money making, and your PhD degree. You are obviously the master and king of the world. Perhaps your degree is in tool sharpening. Would you like to show me how you sharpen your own tools? I would love to know how to spell loser as looser and I would also love to replace the word you with U.

As for obtaining a life I would also love for you to help me get one of those, how do I get one? Does it mean I have to stop having real friends and defending them when they are blatantly attacked, hurt, and judged on facebook.

I see that one of your trio, may I call you three musketeers, has emailed you my email to them. I would like you to return because it was private property and he has violated copyright terms and conditions. If of course you would like to pay for ownership of that email, then please deposit £143 into my bank of Scotland account. That's where you're from isn't it? Scotland. It's just convenience I have an account there. That fee is actually calculated by the word count, which is 286, (you can count it yourself if you like) times 50 of your new English pence. Which is the current going rate for a copywriter.

I did actually write an essay once. If you would like to read it I can definitely get you a copy. I'd have to charge you for that too, because the Bank of Scotland have put charges on my account and I would like to pay them off, so you understand that I would need to charge you for my literary genius. It's 8495 words. So if you want that essay it will cost you £4247.50. Again fifty pence per word.

Anyway, let me know if you want a copy.

Jack Wilde 09 December at 15:10 Report
U know what, I like you..... ur a good laugh..... and that trio Luke, is my brother....

Jack Wilde 09 December at 15:11 Report
P.s that was another cracker ov an email..... how long does it actually take 2 write that crap anyway

Vikki Miller 09 December at 16:39
Now, I'm kind of new to 'lingo' but when you say brother do you mean brother from another mother or brother as in biological brother. You should get a DNA test if you are unsure. I got a DNA test once to see if I was related to my cat. She treats me like I'm her mother, so I thought I would tell her once and for all that I am not her Mother and that she is adopted. The DNA test finally solved that one, so now she sleeps on the end of my bed, poops in the bath and spews on the floor. You now how teenagers can get in their rebellious stage. I might share the strength of youth with her because i'm sure there are sections in there that discuss honouring your father and mother regardless of being adopted. I'm also sure there's something about not licking yourself and swallowing hair so that you don't throw up on your mother's carpet. Of course she doesn't have a father, so I'm hoping that won't stop her from getting to the celestial kingdom. I'm hoping to be sealed to her as soon as the church allow one parent to be sealed to a child.

As for the amount of time it takes me to write an email you would be surprised. I could give you the quick answer of 5 seconds. I actually hold the world record for fastest typer in the world. It was a nice award. They had a ceremony with sandwiches and wine and they gave me a medal. I gave the wine to my cat though, because that's what responsible parents do, and because she's not baptised yet I figured that would be fine. She's only 4 years old you see, but I think that's actually 28 in human years. But back to the speed, if you were to take into account the time it took me to learn how to type, how to learn punctuation and grammar, and the amount of time to learn love for my friends you would actually discover that it has probably taken 92 years to write one email. The purpose of the email is still the defence of my friend and his beard. So let's stick with 92 years. It's a long time, but I do a lot of things at the same time. Multi-tasking it's called. Writing is definitely a hobby of mine. I think it's definitely interesting the way letters form words. I also like to pretend that I'm dictating messages straight from heaven. That is always a fun game. You might know more about that than me though, given that I'm no where near as righteous as you that you have been given the authority to judge people. I'm kind of pleased that you and I are best friends now, because it means when I die and I am at the judgement seat of God that you will be there to tell God that I'm your brother from another mother (definitely, we could get another DNA to see if we are really brothers) and that I'm good to get into heaven. Because I know you now I feel like I can do anything, if got you as my lawyer. First off I might start growing a beard, from there I will take drugs, and then become a hippy.

Thanks.

Jack Wilde 09 December at 16:40 Report
holy crap.... this will take hours

Jack Wilde 09 December at 16:46 Report
so I got half way down the first paragraph and decided to stop, cause its crap.....
and yeah he is ma real brother

Jack Wilde 09 December at 16:47 Report
accept ma friend request ma besto xxx

Vikki Miller 09 December at 09:04
Jack Jack Jack... can I call you Jack? I'll try and keep this short so I can keep your attention. I didn't realise you were so adverse to reading. When you asked me for an essay earlier I assumed you were fine tuned to the arts and literature, not once did I think that you couldn't read.

I cannot accept your friends request because I have a policy about not allowing negative people to be my friend because they just bring me down. I know that we have 32 mutual friends and that somewhere along the line that must mean that we are friends, but sadly not because yesterday we had 33 mutual friends, but that all changed when you insulted, judged, and berated my super best friend. Actions have consequences. That is the tale. I would tell you a longer tale, one about sewing and reaping, it's not the season for it though. Harvest is autumn. This is Christmas. This is the season for Bob Geldoff and mistletoe and wine.

Immanuel Corbett 09 December at 15:05 Report
You my friend are a complete and utter loser. Now give me peace

Vikki Miller 09 December at 16:29
Now when you say peace do you mean peace on earth, good will towards men? It is the season after all. I would like to remind you though that you started it. Although Marcus has deleted you now so you can no longer access and reference the fact that you did have the first comment.

I do appreciate that you can spell loser, unlike the other two thirds of your musketeer club. I have to highly commend you on that one. I was once called a loser in school, for being a member of church that is, you know how it goes, people fear what they don't understand and what is the minority. Perhaps that's what you are feeling, a fear of beards, a fear of facial hair, — you don't quite understand it yet, so you fear it and mock it, and penalise those who have beards. I understand.

I apologise for taking so long in getting back to you, I was actually constructing a beard from my own hair that I took out the plug hole of my bath, some parts are quite long, and others still have a bit of soap on them but it would do the job. If you would like I can post it to you. I might have to ask that you pay for the postage though, because I usually sell my plug hole hair to homeless people in the street. I told them it's a new form of drug, you wear it on your face and the drugs adsorb into your blood stream through the pores in your face. Of course that's not true, but I make money from it. I won't charge you for the beard though, but I will have to get you to pay the postage so that I can at least cover my rent this month.

Let me know how you want to do the transaction. I take credit cards and money orders.

Beards. Photos.

2009-12-09T16:59:00.001Z

I realised I've been depriving you of the pictures of these three talented boys.

Luke Garroway

Jack Wilde (Jerk as I like to call him)

Immanuel Corbett

Beards Part 2.

2009-12-09T13:11:00.001Z

I continued talking to Marcus, and he was telling me that he has actually discussed his beard with authority figures and that he also has read the talk by President Oaks that they are quoting at him. (The one about drug culture and beards being associated.) What these three boys failed to notice is that the talk has a disclaimer. It specifically says that it was intended for BYU students only and was not doctrine for the entire church.

Marcus then told me that he had deleted each of the boys. I realised they hadn't received my comments so I emailed each of them individually the same thing, which was a copy and paste of my two comments.

I received two emails back this morning, and I have since replied in a 'time-wasting' similar fashion to David Thorne.

Vikki Miller 09 December at 01:16

Hey. So I'm one of Marcus' friends. And he just told me that he deleted you from facebook, which means you won't get to read what I just wrote to you. So I'm emailing you to tell you what I think . This is what I wrote:

Dear Luke Immanuel and Jerk Wilde. I seriously SERIOUSLY hope that all of you have been joking when judging my super best friend. If you haven't then I seriously pity you all, because there is nothing more damning than judging someone else. There's also nothing more off-putting, utterly pathetic, arrogant, puffed-up, and negative in the church than when members turn against members.

The three of you should look in the mirror and take the mote out your own eye and stop bullying people on facebook. Seriously. And why are you being so cowardice and attacking someone amazing, righteous and holy in an anonymous manner. If you were at all to know Marcus, take the time to actually discuss doctrines of the church you would realise that he has more spirituality than most of the people I'm sure you guys know.

So seriously. Stop being so pathetic and blatantly bullying people online for no reason at all.

Losers.

Then I posted this post:

oh my gosh.

A big PS to the three of you.

I just looked at all of your profile pictures, respectively, and I've just realised why you're totally harassing my friend.

None of you have actually passed puberty yet and can actually grow beards.

Nevermind. I'm sure it will happen soon for you all. I'm rooting for you.

Luke Garroway 09 December at 09:53 Report
Do somthing productive with your time looser!

Vikki Miller 09 December at 12:29
Maybe you can give me some good advice on being productive. You seem to believe that attacking someone about something irrelevant and pathetic is a good way to use my time. Maybe I will follow this pattern.

Therefore I will use my time to shop for V-neck tank tops and over-style my hair.

True story I used to have a tank top, but Jade Goody wore the same one on Big Brother five and I tried to sell it to the press as Jade Goody's tank top. I didn't even wash it so that I could claim it was her sweat. They didn't buy it though because I'm not the same size as Jade Goody and because it wasn't washed I couldn't even claim that it had shrunk because I put it in a 90 degree wash or something.

Thanks for noticing how loose I am as well. I try and do yoga as often as I can, and I swim too, so that keeps my limbs and muscles loose. Although this is the first time I've been called an actual looser. Maybe I should start a club or something, for people that like to let loose, get loose, or that are naturally foot loose. I wonder if I could get Kevin Bacon to come. He filmed footloose in Salt Lake City, that must mean Marcus knows him. I'm sure Marcus can hook me up with Mr Bacon so that he can lead the loosers club. Failing him I will employ someone that loves tank tops as much as you and I do and dress that person up as a slice of bacon and call him Mr Bacon. I think that would do the trick.

Sorted.

That was one down.

Vikki Miller 09 December at 01:15
Hey. So I'm one of Marcus' friends. And he just told me that he deleted you from facebook, which means you won't get to read what I just wrote to you. So I'm emailing you to tell you what I think . This is what I wrote:

Dear Luke Immanuel and Jerk Wilde. I seriously SERIOUSLY hope that all of you have been joking when judging my super best friend. If you haven't then I seriously pity you all, because there is nothing more damning than judging someone else. There's also nothing more off-putting, utterly pathetic, arrogant, puffed-up, and negative in the church than when members turn against members.

The three of you should look in the mirror and take the mote out your own eye and stop bullying people on facebook. Seriously. And why are you being so cowardice and attacking someone amazing, righteous and holy in an anonymous manner. If you were at all to know Marcus, take the time to actually discuss doctrines of the church you would realise that he has more spirituality than most of the people I'm sure you guys know.

So seriously. Stop being so pathetic and blatantly bullying people online for no reason at all.

Losers.

Then I posted this post:

oh my gosh.

A big PS to the three of you.

I just looked at all of your profile pictures, respectively, and I've just realised why you're totally harassing my friend.

None of you have actually passed puberty yet and can actually grow beards.

Nevermind. I'm sure it will happen soon for you all. I'm rooting for you.

And by the way, I'm pretty sure the Strength of Youth says that tight fitting clothing is not advised.

Immanuel Corbett 09 December at 11:19 Report
Thanks for that.....Now beat it you fool

Vikki Miller 09 December at 12:32
Do I specifically have to beat it, or can I shake as well? Because if I can shake too I would love to play the tambourine as opposed to the drums. I always wanted to play the drums, and it was very kind of you to notice that it was an ambition of mine to play the drums. How very astute of you. Thank you for your encouragement in my endeavours. Now, if I can shake as well as beat, then I would quite like to play the tambourine. You see I once got into a fight with my primary two teacher because she wouldn't let me play the tambourine and that is pretty close to a drum — you have to beat it or shake it. I've still never played the tambourine, so perhaps on this occasion if you would permit me to shake and beat I could turn my talents to tambourine beating and shaking.

Beards Part 1.

2009-12-09T12:55:00.001Z

So yesterday my friend Marcus McBride was attacked randomly by some pure fannies on facebook for having a beard. This is how the transcript went. Going from a normal comment as his status to him being sent to hell and into drugs for having a beard.

Marcus McBride Is it sad that I don't care about school at all at this point!?! This semester is one big wash!
Yesterday at 16:39 · Comment · Like2 people like this.

Immanuel Corbett Shave your beard you disgrace
Yesterday at 16:42

Marcus McBride Immanuel, no where does it say that ones rightousness is tied to ones beard, or facial hair. It does say, however, in the scriptures jude not, lest ye be judged. I have spoke with Stake and Temple Presidents and they say me having a beard is fine and in no way a sin or negative impact on my spiritual growth. Thanks for your concern though.
Yesterday at 16:50

Jack Wilde Marcus..... come on dude... follow the brethren, clean shaven
Yesterday at 16:51

Antoinette Black Keep it Marcus! Me loves you and the beard ;)
Yesterday at 16:54

Immanuel Corbett For the strength of youth...
When you are well groomed and modestly dressed, you invite the companionship of the Spirit and can exercise a good influence on thosearound you.

Marcus we are representatives of the lord and we must be well groomed and wearing the lords attire. The brethren are the ultimate example of this.
Yesterday at 16:57

Jack Wilde aye Marcus it just says obedience is the first law of heaven, and it only says u should be clean shaven..... I do understand its hard to justify the wrong, and now we are commenting on it pride may step in….. but ur a good man, im sure u can handle it... P.S Amen manny boy
Yesterday at 17:00

Antoinette Black It's a well groomed beard! Lets be honest here...Marcus is the best dressed Man I know!

His beard is his choice.
Yesterday at 17:04

Immanuel Corbett Follow the brethren.......Boyd. k Packer
Yesterday at 17:05

Antoinette Black Then take of that tight pink "Team Edward" shirt! Is that not a girls shirt?
Yesterday at 17:06

Jack Wilde and any other way, every other way is madness...... Elder corbridge
Yesterday at 17:07

Antoinette Black That's it...I'm growing a beard :)
Yesterday at 17:08

Jack Wilde haha, ohh the PRIDE
Yesterday at 17:09

Immanuel Corbett No it's mine, i got it specially made. It is a PJ top antoinette. But thanks for looking ;)
Yesterday at 17:10

Antoinette Black hahaha....Well I hope it keeps you nice and warm, It's a lovely pink girly looking PJ shirt.

I think I may get one to go with my new beard :)
Yesterday at 17:12

Jack Wilde and with that u get a ♫one way ticket to hell
Yesterday at 17:13

Marcus McBride Ha ha ha ha ha ha Love you Toni!!!!!!!!!!
Yesterday at 17:13

Antoinette Black Then I will see you there Jack :)

I love you Marcus. xoxox
Yesterday at 17:16

Jack Wilde don't be late babe....
Yesterday at 17:17

Immanuel Corbett "I have spoke with Stake and Temple Presidents and they say me having a beard is fine" hahahahahahaha
Yesterday at 17:18

Jack Wilde hahaha, imagin.... president can I get a beard please???
Yesterday at 17:19

Craig Bishop marcus + beard = righteous
Yesterday at 19:51

Elizabeth Manson I think you look really good with your beard Marcus. The Saviour himself has one :) ♥ hope your well. We need to catch up with a wee bleather soon x
Yesterday at 22:29

Luke Garroway In the minds of most people at this time, the beard and long hair are associated with protest, revolution, and rebellion against authority. They are also symbols of the hippie and drug culture. Persons who wear beards or long hair, whether they desire it or not, may identify themselves with or emulate and honor the drug culture or the extreme practices of those who have made slovenly appearance a badge of protest and dissent. In addition, unkemptness—which is often (though not always) associated with beards and long hair—is a mark of indifference toward the best in life. As Elder Sterling W. Sill has observed:

“A let-down in personal appearance has far more than physical significance, for when ugliness gets its roots into one part of our lives it may soon spread to every other part!
Yesterday at 23:48

Craig Bishop Long live Beards!
11 hours ago

Vikki Miller Dear Luke Immanuel and Jerk Wilde. I seriously SERIOUSLY hope that all of you have been joking when judging my super best friend. If you haven't then I seriously pity you all, because there is nothing more damning than judging someone else. There's also nothing more off-putting, utterly pathetic, arrogant, puffed-up, and negative in the church than when members turn against members.

The three of you should look in the mirror and take the mote out your own eye and stop bullying people on facebook. Seriously. And why are you being so cowardice and doing attacking someone amazing, righteous and holy in an anonymous manner. If you were at all to know Marcus, take the time to actually discuss doctrines of the church you would realise that he has more spirituality than most of the people I'm sure you guys know.

So seriously. Stop being so pathetic and blatantly bullying people online for no reason at all.

Losers

11 hours ago · Delete

Vikki Miller oh my gosh.

A big PS to the three of you.

I just looked at all of your profile pictures, respectively, and I've just realised why you're totally harassing my friend.

None of you have actually passed puberty yet and can actually grow beards.

Nevermind. I'm sure it will happen soon for you all. I'm rooting for you.

11 hours ago · Delete

Antoinette Black Vikki Miller I love YOU! I love when the Miller lays the smack down...POW POW POW.

ps- My husband has a problem with me growing a beard so I'm just gonna grow my leg hair out for a few weeks ;)
11 hours ago

Vikki Miller I have leg hair that's over a centimetre long.... GROSS! haha. It's the winter, and the boy is too far away from me. I'm allowed. :)
11 hours ago · Delete

Craig Bishop all hail vikki
8 hours ago

Lindsay Nicole Koehler I've told you before, Marcus. Your beard is good. I love it. Don't listen to these crazies who hate beards! They are probably just SO envious because their faces are cold this winter...I'm jealous and I'm TOTALLY with Antoinette on this one!

Worked it out.

2009-12-03T14:36:00.001Z

Okay.. just after waking up this morning.. yes it was genuinely the morning.. I worked out that the morning of the 24th I had a dream.

which means the night of the 25th November was when I played Rock Band 2 for real with Dane and Amy.

Which means November 26th Thanksgiving Eve is the only time I can't remember.

Twenty Six ELEVEN weeks and four days.

2009-12-03T00:28:00.001Z

Last week I was on holiday, that's my excuse and I'm sticking with it.

Twenty Six and Ten weeks was brought to us by:

The letters: NIGHTSHIFT AND IT WAS AWESOME

The Numbers: RED

and the words: In The Loop.

Week Eleven brought us:

the letters: I M M I G R A T I O N P R E P A R A T I O N

the words: sneeze, face mask, red eyes

the number: 4 am that's how late I stayed up to every night.

movies: New Moon

Tv shows: countless episodes of Heroes and Ugly Betty (I'm all caught up on 7 Ugly betty's and 11 Heroeseses)

Pictures I've been gathering for a while that aren't necessarily pertaining to week 11 but close to:

(because I can't get enough of the cats)

(because helvetica is over used)

(This is numbered week1111.jpg)

Week ten and eleven were also the weeks of meeting Jon a year before.

here's my quick calender low down of events that I should have blogged about as they happened but I don't want to be such a loser in love.

November 19th Date numero uno: Carrie Underwood, slurpees, and staying up until super late (5am). Also the anniversary of Jon saying 'You're just so... transparent' (it won't go away) and him also saying 'I stay up until this time anyway, watching movies and stuff. I'm a little messed up.' To which I gave the quick one-liner 'aren't we all.' (he wore his mickey mouse t-shirt and I had wonder woman on.)

November 20th: i went to Body Worlds with April... and Jon 'had to write.'

November 21st: Our first, of several trips to, Cafe Trang... Jon wore the red chequered shirt with the flowery collar and pearly buttons, and he kept attempting to make the waiter laugh. It started as 100% of the time, but as more jokes were added, it decreased to about 10%. We also saw bolt that night, and then attempted to make dvds play through the giant TV, but instead listened to the Juno dvd menu screen for countless hours, before exchanging kiss numero uno.

November 22nd: Ikea'd it up. I made Jon buy a green rug which he proceeded to hate for months afterwards. I still love that rug. Then we watched dinosaurs, which brought me years back to my saturday nights at home when i was wee. I can't remember what else we did that night. I'm sure it must have involved food though.

November 23rd: Church. Jon was sitting next to Dan and a random group of people so I sat on my own and proceeded to text him through church because that's how cool I am. I hung about after church for a little, probably violin practising, then we went to see Dane and Amy to play rockband which we couldn't get to work so we played random game games instead. During one of the games Jon made me switch teams with Amy so that he and Dane were together and Amy and I, and he still continued to not do so greatly, thus proving that I was not the problem. I think we also watched the prestige that night back at Jon's house. Every date was like 5 days combined because we stayed up until crazy hours every night.

November 24th: This was definitely the day we went to Dane and Amy's and played Rock Band and the whole time on the way down in the car I was filled with sighs and what not because I had many questions regarding things Jon had told me the night before.

November 25th: I think this was the night we first played Rock Band with Dane and Amy. Think. It was either this day or the day before. It was definitely the day before.

So if this wasn't the day we played rock band I'm not sure what we did. I'm sure it was awesome.

November 26th: Likewise, this being wednesday and the eve of thanksgiving I'm sure we did something supreme. I've no idea what though. If I remember i'm sure I'll blog about it. or update. Lame.

November 27th: Thanksgiving, I spent it with Maggie and Dave and text Jon the entire time. Later that night I went to see Four christmases or something like that with Jon and Dane and Amy. I remember feeling relieved that I finally got to see him, because it was a long time.

November 28th: Black Friday. We ate bagels. Yum. And I bought a pair of golden ugg boots. Jon bought his playstation 3 and we watched Wall-E when we got back to his flat.

November 29th: I went to Chuk a Rama with maddy and her mum and her mum's Dad, and then met Jon later that night where he presented me with the blue fabric bracelet I wore until about 2 weeks ago when it disintegrated and would n longer tie. We then went to temple square and saw the lights while I met up with Krystyls mum.

Novemeber 30th: Another bit of church, and i've decided that we must have must have gone to see Dane and Amy that night too. There was also the first L word dropped that night, yes Jon said it first.

December 1st: We met for lunch at gourmandise, where Jon declared that 'he couldn't do this' and I thought he was ending things with me, but in actual fact wasn't... and was just exclaiming at how difficult long distance would be. He also hated seeing the pickle on my plate. Then we parted ways. I sat in the car outside his work for about 5 minutes being sad. Then I went to the violin shop to give Charlie back. I packed, posted stuff home, and watched heroes with Marcus.

December 2nd: Got on a plane and went home.

December 3rd: Got home. Which is one year ago, today. And then I lost my sunglasses which I found six months later. I remember going home in the car with Kate and talking all about Jon, and that was the day I worked out Kate was pregnant because she said 'I'm sick, don't worry you can't catch it.'

The Return of... ... FRIDAY STATS!

2009-11-27T18:41:00.001Z

Yes. Toady has become a monumental day. I have, for the first time in four months, just been swimming.

It's actually well over four months. In fact, one might project that it is closer to five months, if not over five months.

I can tell you.

It hurts.

I've taken 'breaks' from swimming before, but none this long. It usually does take one or a half session to wake up my muscles and have them remember what they already knew, but today was a painful trip. I actually had to get out the pool at one point and do some kind of muscle squeeze slap stretch thing because I was convinced I wasn't going to be able to walk again, and that was only after doing 200m of front crawl kick. It usually is difficult, but not that difficult.

Anywhere... here they are:

200m front crawl
200m breast stroke
200m front crawl legs
100m breast stroke legs
25m butterfly legs
25m back stroke legs
25m butterfly legs
25m back stroke legs
200m front crawl arms (with paddles
200m breast stroke arms (with paddles)
50m front crawl
50m beast stroke
400m front crawl with paddles and flippers
200m front crawl
100m swim down/fanny about.

80 lengths, 2000m, 2km in 68 minutes.

The pool was pure heaving with people as well, and there were some really rude guys. Seriously, I was in the 'medium' lane, and it ended up being filled with all these big guys that thought they were fast but not fast enough for the fast lane. I was seriously mad... they had bad swimming pool etiquette, and beyond that I was the only girl. So I had to hold my own and prove that was fast enough to be in the medium lane. It was actually not that fun, and I was in so much pain most of the time.

I've also decided that I need to stop going swimming with guys... I might start going to Ladies night or something because guys are gross and totally pervy. I suppose I check out their moobs, it's true... in more of a 'i'm repulsed, swim more way' haha.

When I was in the shower after getting out I starting craving thinly sliced roast beef. I'm not even kidding.

It's been ages since i've craved beef, and I've been fine with that, quite happy, but this is no coincidence that it happened immediately after tearing some muscles and wearing myself down. So I think it might be related, the breaking down of muscle is usually replaced with protein... hence drinking or consuming large amounts of protein while doing heavy work outs.

I took one of my beetroot blood builder pills that I got in Wholefoods and I also consumed, or rather, inhaled a Terry's Chocolate Orange bar that I conveniently bought at the petrol station when I filled up the car. The car is full. I think it's the first time the car has been full in a long long long long time. She's happy... cold, but happy.

I also decided today that if I ever owned a swimming pool I would put heated towel rails in ever locker. I need to go swimming more often because I always come up with fantastic ideas afterwards.

before heading out I got held up slightly because I indulged in some facebook chat with my totally awesome Bulgarian friend. She who is actually a kind of mutual friend/acquaintance of mine and Jon's, and she who kind of brought us together.

She's back in Bulgaria, and I totally want to go see her. I totally want to go to Bulgaria, that's a fact. When I watched Chitty Chitty Bang Bang when I was wee I thought the place they flew to was Bulgaria, but it's actually Vulgaria. It will always be Bulgaria to me, and when I go to Bulgaria, I will be where Chitty, Dick Van Dyke, his grubby children, Uncle Alfred, and the child catcher were.

Amazing.

My twilight defence

2009-11-27T01:15:00.001Z

Right this is breaking my blog post fast.

I wasn't not posting... I was just not posting because I was too consumed doing other things.

I've been on holiday this week because I had to ask for the week off a month ago, and it was the last week that anyone could ask for holidays before the end of January. So I've been using the time to properly plan and prepare wedding, marriage and immigration stuff. Which has mostly just consisted of me kicking about in my 'in door clothes' with no make up on and cleaning things and throwing stuff out. I made a lot of progress on Monday but I've significantly got worse and more lazy since then.

yesterday though I took some time to go to the cinema with Claire... and of course we went to see Twilight: New Moon.

So, I have no idea why there are so many people opposed and total haters towards the movie and book series. Like really, everyone has an opinion... at least that's how my facebook status updates look just now. Everyone seems to have a hate or love opinion. It's actually starting to drive me insane. I don't mind twilight. Yes I read the books. It meant I actually read something. It's kind of like Harry Potter, I remember Adam Lang saying to me once that he thought Rowling should be given a massive award not for writing good literature (because in his opinion she didn't) but for encouraging children and people to read again. That's the same way I feel about Meyer. She has people reading. And so what if it's trashy, un-realistic, girl/teen fantasy stuff. Most stories and movies out there are utterly terrible, absolutely terrible. Take for example Transformers 2 and Jennifer's body (to name two that I hate). Those movies are total trash. Not to mention any other action movie that's come into existence, or those terrible disaster movies. Those are all trash in my opinion... un-realistic, rely on special effects, have no valid story line and either contain dodgey sex or nude scenes just for ratings. Like SERIOUSLY!

In the first Twilight the Blonde Rosalie chicka said the Oh My G, and that was it... that was all that could be deemed bad influence. The second movie was directed by someone who wasn't a desperate housewife (I watched the special features of the first Twilight movie and the director was a total weird perv... seriously), so it had a bit more conversation, storyline and build to it. There was no swearing, no over the top passion scenes... it was the kind of thing you wouldn't mind your kids watching... or yourself. Seriously. I don't want to defend the movie or the books because then it makes me look like a die hard fan, which I'm not, but they're entertaining, and enjoyable... and the books distracted me through a difficult summer (2008) that without which I might have gone insane. It was nice to worry about some one else's life and be involved with other people, in another place and land... even if it was poorly written.

And I just need to add that Miss Stephanie must have prayed a shed load. Seriously. Imagine, if you wrote a book, you'd want it to be successful. Well her prayer was answered. She must have paid her tithing too, that sneaky mormon lady. :)

Further disclaimer.

2009-11-19T23:23:00.000Z

I would like to add that it was not the day Jon-himself proposed, I just used that image as a clue as to what the day really means, because for our first date we went to see Carrie Underwood (after I went to institute) and then drank slurpees. I'd gone swimming that day too, and actually eaten nothing all day but was too shy to actually mention anything about that. And I suppose slurpee was sufficient enough to keep me awake until after 5am.

Yearaversary.

2009-11-19T23:21:00.001Z

This here day marks the one year year-aversary of me seeing Carrie Underwood live, for the very first time. Oh how she changed my life. I had my very first slurpee that night, therefore I claim this day as Slurpee and Carrie Underwood Day.

Twenty Six Nine Weeks and One day.

2009-11-15T19:54:00.001Z

This week has been brought to us by

The Number: 30 Dollars and 240 pounds

The Letters: M I S S Y and D E N T I S T

The Words: Panic, wedding, and planning

and The Mathematical algebra equation:

Jon + Jon = 2Happiness

Jon + Jon/2 = Happiness

Jon = Happiness

This might make a lame geek, but I loved maths and algebra and equations. It was like English but with a right or wrong answer.

How Not To Spend Money.

2009-11-14T00:34:00.001Z

The other day I was talking to a guy in work about iTunes and we somehow got on to the topic of the American iTunes store and I mentioned that I had a $30 voucher that I had never been able to use because I didn't have an American bank card.

He told me that with an iTunes voucher you can set up an American iTunes account by clicking the right places.

Surprise surprise I went home, clicked the right buttons and I now have $30 to spend at my leisure on iTunes.

Now, a bit of history. I've had that voucher for 21 months. I was actually scared that it had expired or something dreadful like that. To have it finally activated and not have to use someone else's account and to have the freedom to spend and download straight on to my own computer without transferring stuff feels wonderful. I'm debating over a big spend or lots of little spends. A big spend would be a whole series of a TV show like Buffy, The OC, or Dead Like Me. Lots of little spends would be albums I've been wanting for ages, or a movie here or there. I don't know what to do. It's too exciting. I keep spending it with my eyes but not going through with it. 21 months is a long time to wait to spend something, so the credit has to be spent with finesse and beauty. Almost like a whisky that has been left to distil for 15+ years. It has to breathe, it has to be enjoyed, it has to be relished. Every cent that I spend of that $30 has to be appreciated.

A little bit of further history.

The $30 gift voucher is actually a proper gift, it was given to me as a valentine's day present on February 14th 2008. It is, actually, the only valentine's day gift I've ever been given. Awwwwww... cue the tiny violin. Well I think I might have received cards before but in high school from one of my female friends as a joke. Actually that's also quite sad. It's a lame day anyway.

I'm actually so pleased that I get to spend it now, it's been burning a hole in my email inbox for too long.

In other random news I hate that Fox chick, i've forgotten her first name. MEGAN. Megan Fox. I hate Megan Fox. After work I called Claire to see if she was in town and she was just heading in, so I browsed some shops and tortured myself over my jacket again in Urban Outfitters. I went to American apparel and smelled the smell of Helvetica, and I went to Frasers and ended up in the bridal section looking at huge meringue dresses with sparkles and princess looks. I left with a smile. I like sparkley things. And it was a totally laid back department. I've actually not been in one bridal shop since I got engaged so it was pretty cool to just immerse myself in materialism and crazy girlishness for just a second. Nothing in that place was me, nor would I wear it in real life, but it was pretty to look at and ooooo over.

I met Claire and we continued mini non buying shopping time and then took up some seats in Borders Starbucks (sorry Toni) and then we ended up in the Cinema. We also went to the new H&M in the Buchanan Galleries bringing the H&M count to Three stores in the one shopping centre. That's messed up. haha. Yeah, so outside the new H&M was a queue of people waiting for the launch of the Jimmy Choo H&M range. Dedicated or what.

The cinematic choice was ruled by time and trains and Claire and I ended up seeing Jennifer's body. It was far from my choice, but it was okay, I hate Megan Fox and everything she stands for, and the movie was just a bit weird. It was almost like a parody horror like the Evil Dead but it wasn't. It was actually funny, a little scary, and almost definitely irrelevant.

On my way home on the train I was thinking about a lot of stuff, like swimming, and design work and what not... I was also scripture reading, and I started thinking wouldn't it be crazy if I was to look up and see I was in my station but about to leave the station and I would have to do a train dive and maybe my bag would get stuck in the door and I would have to leave it behind, or what if my shoe got caught and I had to wriggle out of it or die, or even my jacket. Then I started looking at the pages of the Book of Mormon and wondering if there was more I could do to incorporate the style of scriptures into the design of the Mormons Photography Book I've been doing for Mark. I then looked up and realised I was in my station, and I actually did have to do a train dive. It was flippin scary. On the way I dropped old tickets from the back of my Book of Mormon which were my book mark and I stopped to get them thinking they were important. It was a close one, but I made it off the train.

Redemption.

2009-11-12T13:16:00.001Z

Today redemption comes in the form of a Blue ford Ka called Missy.

She is alive, and legally allowed back on the roads. Yes.

Her underbelly has been given new metal and she has one new tyre and some new wiper blade and gosh is she happy.

I am even more so because it means I can drive to the dentist rather than get the train and walk, and it means I can drive to various other locations.

And it all cost £195 plus the £45 MOT last week. Which means the MOT was not a waste of money Hooray! All is well once more in the last of Vizzle M and her Missy.

I'm pleased that I didn't have to just get rid of her, if I'm selling her and giving her up, I need some last adventures with her, she is awesome, and we have spent some terrific wonderful times together. And now I get a few months, legally, more.

While it's fresh.

2009-11-11T12:08:00.001Z

I just had a dream.

It was 30 minutes until I was due to get married.

I was, for some reason, getting married in Glasgow, in Anniesland Church... to be honest I don't think Anniesland has a church, but that's where I was going.

My dress was lying on the floor of the cultural hall in the LDS church in Glasgow, and I had parked my cousin's mini on the stage in the hall.

I was totally stressing about dress colour, size and whether it had been ironed or not. My mum just kept saying well why haven't you tried it on yet, and I would keep saying, can you iron it in 30 minutes.

My hair, face and everything else was not done. I'm pretty sure there was no flowers and there most definitely a lot of worry about bridesmaid dresses.

There was also some kind of live general conference happening in Glasgow that I had to sneak out of with my mum to get the dress.

When we got to the cultural hall my little cousin miriam was sitting in her mini asking how to get it off the stage so she could drive to the church.

Before we could help her out she drove it straight off the stage and it landed nose down on the floor, with glass and metal everywhere.

It landed an inch from where my dress was lying and we ran over and she as holding and rubbing at the dress. There was a massive brown stain on the left hand side from where she had burned and melted the lace from her car falling. I stayed relatively calm on the exterior and she kept saying sorry and that it was fixable. And I said 'no no, it was my fault, I shouldn't have parked your car on the stage.'

The rest of the dream is a little hazey, I think I had reached my capacity for stress at that time and my brain was moving my thoughts in a different direction to avoid having a heart attack in my sleep or something.

The gist was, the dress was burned, and unfixable, and I 30 minutes until I was getting married. Totally lame.

Monday Blah.

2009-11-09T23:51:00.000Z

Quotes of the past week:

Don't send a left hand to do a right hand's job.

Why is there a large barcode stuck to my sunglasses.

I'm going to bed, because I have a long shift tomorrow, and I want a subway sandwich, I'm not hungry, I'm just miserable because I've not had enough of something in my life today. Lame.

I tell you what though, I've decided that rather than sell everything I own I'm going to give some of it away as christmas presents... yes I am tight, and being somewhat practical. The money I made from selling stuff would just go towards presents so I might as well give some of it to people that would love it. Don't worry it won't be trash, I will only give stuff that people will enjoy. Seriously. I think it's a full proof plan.

Tomorrow's the 11/11/09. It's also a Wednesday, I'm contemplating playing my 9 and 11 row of lottery numbers tomorrow, hmmm. Should I shouldn't I? I should call upon the power of the 11. To sort all of mine and Eilidh's financial woes.

I'm just typing for the sake of typing when I should be doing nanowrimo or something. I had such a good idea, but I just didn't feel it. The desire to write is gone. I just want to mope instead.

Sigh, seriously the past four months have been crazy, it's almost 4 months and one week. It's a weird kind of miss and sadness, because it's almost identical to a breakup, but it's not, because there's hope and happines, and still constant contact, but every now and then it's a similar pain that usually would be filled or ignored by 'moving on' but moving on isn't allowed in this scenario because it's hope, and happy imagination filled future that's in store. I think the only thing that is really not letting distance effect the relationship is the fact that he is most definitely worth it. There hasn't been more worth in any other endeavour that I've ever followed. Seriously. Love helps too :). But it will all most definitely be worth it, because he is worth it, and there's no one in the world that I could ever imagine myself with or that I would ever want to be with. It's actually almost like a storybook movie the way we fit together and work. Definitely worth it.

Bed.

New People Rant.

2009-11-09T23:22:00.001Z

Several new people have started after me.

A high percentage of them are rude and can't fathom a please or thank you, and can't wait for answers when they ask questions, they just take.

Numbers Rant

2009-11-09T23:20:00.000Z

I have a mentor at work... He's meant to help and assist.

He pretty much shows me my financial figures and then berates me, and then tries to work out how to make me better.

Here's the thing.

I am 12th in the store for sales.

I have a high percentage of apple care add ons.

I have a low percentage of one to one add ons.

Every store in the world has been challenged to reach 50%.

The more computers I sell without one-to-one means that the store average is affected.

People that want it, will buy it, I don't tend to get the customers that want it.

90% of the people that come to the store to buy have had pre-intentions.

A lot of them are students.

I tend to get the students, the young guys that already technically minded and the foreign people.

I don't mind this.

But, the people that would benefit from one to one never want to talk to me, never want to interact and always end up talking to the young boys because 1. Boys know technology, and 2. Older women love little boys.

My Mentor enjoys showing me my figures every chance he gets and likes saying 'is there anything I can do to help?' or 'this is your percentage, look at everyone else's'.

The thing is, everyone else's is either drastically below mine, or just a little bit above. But for the sake of not arguing I just nod and go yeah, crazy, terrible isn't it.

The problem is, when you start a shift and you're being made to feel like crap (even although you're twelfth in the store and you only work 16 hours a week compared to the full timers or high contracted people in the top 11) because you can't sell one to ones, then I tell you, you don't want to even sell any computers to anyone because if they don't take one to one then you're percentage will be messed up.

It's totally messed up. I hate it actually. And I actually think I'm at my capacity with my mentor, the next time he shows me my freakin' numbers I might actually not give him the happy, life is awesome answer. Seriously. So mad. It bothers me. If you can't tell.

I mean I get it, I really do get it, the thing is, apple has asked for 50% most likely assuming no one will really get that amount and that they will actually keep trying for it and get 40-45%.

Uptight.

Twenty Six Eight Weeks and 2 Days.

2009-11-09T23:12:00.001Z

This week has been brought to us by the:

Numbers: I Don't Care About Stupid Numbers and 45

Letters: F-R-I-E-N-D-S

Words: sad, glad, mad, bad

Events: My mum's birthday

Movies: This is it, Ghostbusters, Groundhog day, Darjeeling Limited

Songs: Anyone Else But You - Moldy Peaches (from the Juno Soundtrack)

A Strange Twist of Fate

2009-11-09T23:06:00.001Z

Last Thursday I started flicking through the yellow pages because they were sitting on my bedroom floor after using the pages as packaging in a box to protect Eilidh's iPod.

I decided to look up garages that weld and I found one in Anniesland, called them and wondered if it was per chance the very same garage that Wee John, whom I met on the train two years before, worked at.

The Story of meeting Wee John.

Anyway, in some kind of strange twist of fate I have now left my car, indefinitely with Big and Wee John. Wee John didn't remember me. The blokes all seemed relatively lovely and in actual fact Missy will be back with me and in working order sooner rather than later. I'm excited to go swimming again, and to hang out with friends, and to go to the cinema late at night, and to spend Christmas and New Year with Eilidh with the car she helped me find, and I'm also pleased that Jon will most likely get to meet the wonderful little beast that is Missy.

Yayy all around.

So, if you live in Glasgow, I 100% recommend the wee garage off Crow Road in Anniesland, above Morrisons. Best garage I've been to to date. Seriously.

real news

2009-11-06T10:57:00.001Z

Fireworking it

2009-11-05T22:11:00.001Z

Remember remember the 5th of November.

I ended up working tonight, and didn't get to see the fireworks in Glasgow for the 4th year in a row. Seriously. I can't remember the last time I was there.

I was in Utah the past two years, and running YSA errands the year before that, and in Dundee other years. Gosh, it's been a long time.

The most amazing one I ever saw was one that looked like a normal circle firework but then turned into 30ish tiny parachutes. It was incredible.

Today, as well as being Guy Fawkes, marks 4 months... the day, it's not 4 months to the hour yet, but at this stage, who's counting. It still sucks.

I had something else to say, I've no idea what it was. But oh how it was good... that was it... I was watching a small snippet of the Daily Show and Jon Stewart mentioned our favourite Beck, at which point I wanted to confirm that I still really dislike that man, and don't mention it because I can't access the daily show how I used to any more, they put a country lock on it, which means I can't share what I've not seen. Lame. I have to watch it through UK poor methods and slow servers now, even more lame.

Forty Five Pound Walk in the Park

2009-11-05T00:51:00.002Z

Today's plan was to

1. Change my dentist appointment next week

2. Reclaim some bank charges

3. Get one of the tyres on my car fixed (and change a wheel for the spare in order to do it)

4. Go see this is it with Kate.

What really happened:

1. I slept really late and had some crazy dreams

2. Changed my dentist appointment

3. Looked up used cars online to gauge prices and make sure it was worth fixing my car

4. Decided it was worth it

5. Started changing my flat tyre/wheel

6. A random man did it for me because I couldn't get a bolt undone and I looked like a damzel in distress. I can change wheels and pretty quickly too.

7. Got a new tyre for one at the wheel place

8. Was recommended a new MOT specialist

9. What I heard was MOT and repair

10. Took it there immediately and found out they only did MOTs

11. Got a little confused and kept it there for an MOT

12. Had to wait in Dalmuir (ie. Nowhere) for 1.5 hours

13. Went to a local park that I used to go to as a kid

14. Picked up leaves, saw swans and squirrels and played on the swing

15. Got an inner core chill

16. Picked up my failed MOT car and found it hard to get advice from the guys

17. The list was significantly less than the first fail because the first fail was done by a rookie

18. Almost cried

19. Tried to find out where I could get the body work fixed

20. Drove home

21. Caught the train

22. Saw This is it (amazing)

23. Cried a little... well I welled up, no tears though. Had I allowed tears then I wouldn't have been able to stop them for ages.

24. Came home

25. Ate dinner while watching How I Met Your Mother (the episode about Lilly and Marshall's wedding)

26. Wished I could get married sooner

27. wondered why on earth I paid £45 for something I already knew.

28. It now takes me about half a week to make £45, before it would take me half a day.

29. I hate myself for spending money unnecessarily. I'm not sure what I was doing, or what I thought I was doing. I am such a freakin' tard.

30. Watched a bit of the green wing while looking up garage services and used cars.

There seems to be no logic in fixing my car, or buying another one. I can't afford it. But the money I put in I will get back in 4/5 months when I leave. (Hopefully 4-5 months.) But I'm still paying £14.50 a week on train fare regardless. What will I really use a car for in the next few months. Getting to church on time, going to the cinema really late at night, driving about for new year and christmas when public transport isn't running, when Jon comes so we don't have to get the train everywhere, for the fake reception wedding in Glasgow when things need to be done and I can't depend on lifts, for delivering items I sell.

So yeah, not a lot that can't be replaced by public transport.

I don't know what to do. I have two weeks to have it fixed and back in for another MOT otherwise it's another £45.

But yeah, the park. I ended up going to the park and I paid £45 to do that. I could visit another country on ryanair for less than that. Why am I an idiot.

On the plus side there's the awesome photos and things I seen today that were free and that I would never have done if I didn't have to stay in Dalmuir for hours.

This is a random video of some swans that were asking over and over again for food. Someone finally came and gave them food. The thing is, bread is bad for swans. True.

There were so many pretty leaves.

I love that nature makes death look so beautiful. It's spectacular. This is the later end of the death of leaves now, so they're all richer darker colours. But I did find an odd green leaf here and there that was fighting and holding on to pigment for dear life. Utterly stunning.

The sun was getting quite low as well so there were many light opportunities too. I didn't have my big camera with me, so this is just my compact. The photos are still pretty awesome though. It must be the touch screen function that does it.

I also played on the swings, and random elephant that had 'wanker' written across it's head. Kind of sad.

The best part though were the squirrels. At first I thought it was rare to see one squirrel but then I came across a dray or scurry (yes, I looked up the collective noun) of the little blighters. I remember being young and my gran telling me how evil grey squirrels are. I kind of like them, they did bully and breed out and murder the red squirrel though who is always painted as an angelic creature in comparison.

The movie at the end shows off my iMovie and garage band 06 skills of putting a movie together. Wooo. It's all about my squirrel friends. They all got scared off by a dog. I big panting butch dog. Just like Up. It made me laugh slightly, as well as be annoyed slightly because dogs drool and squirrels rule.

Hallowe'en Visual Stimuli

2009-11-01T00:36:00.001Z

Back when I was at art school Hallowe'en was a huge deal. It was all about out doing each other with the creative art ideas. Now I don't really care. Before art school I didn't really care either. I'm not a fan of dressing up purely because if my costume isn't perfect I don't feel comfortable.

Yesterday/last night when I got to church for their event within 5 minutes I saw my niece pressing her face against a piece of glass on a door dressed as snow white, with her friend Soren dressed as superman at the other window on the set of double doors.

I remembered I had found my red camera and later managed to get only a couple of shots, nothing amazing. It's costumes like those that I love. Ones that are of real characters or people. Love them. I think it appeals to my juxtaposition/oxymoron side of life — where I like seeing things out of place.

Amie and Soren:

I also had the fantastic opportunity to take this small video. Immediately preceeding this Soren and Amie were spinning in another part of the hall. They started going pretty fast and Amie disappeared from sight into some tables and chairs after Soren couldn't hold on to her any more.

I was sad that I didn't get that video, it would have won me money on You've Been Framed. That's for sure.

Today for work I dug out my Emily Strange Cat Ear Hoody which was actually amazing because it was so warm. It has been in the boot of my car as a 'spare jacket' for years. I don't have a working spare tire but I do have a blanket, cushion and spare jacket. I am a girl.

Today I was an iCat. It was awesome.

I then had some random hallowe'en awesome with Zero. It is her night after all. She was born the way she is for tonight.

And I caught a sighting of Zero the Ghost Cat. See how she's invisible.

And yes I have bright orange converse that I got in Paris that I dreamed about days before, then found through a random circumstance involving mashed potato, missing a train, and having an odd size of foot.

It's a semi entertaining story (like all my stories) I should write about it sometime.

And as a final thought:

Long live the apostrophe in Hallowe'en.

Twenty Six and Seven Weeks

2009-10-31T23:53:00.000Z

This week has been brought to us by:

The letters: F A N T A S T I C

The Number: Mr

and the word: Fox.

I love it.

Wes Anderson is my hero. he makes me happy.

The movie: fantastic Mr Fox

The music: Street Fighting Man by the Rolling Stones as featured in Fantastic Mr Fox

The happy: Bill Murray as a badger

Also, this week I watched about 90% of the episodes of How I Met Your Mother that were available for my watching pleasure. One of them was amazing, because it involved a lot of the song '500 miles' by the proclaimers. Awesome. Marshall's love of Scotland fuels my own love and passion for this country.

I also had a miniature wedding dress fitting thing, so wheels are in motion... pleased.

And I went to a hallowe'en party where I witnessed the most amazing things ever. I'll post another hallowe'en post about those. But yeah I was meant to do something for the church party but had no idea how to do it or what to do, so tried to contact the people, but couldnt, so I was just going to leave the church and never see them again. Which seems like a good solution to me. My mum actually made me leave and go with her, and we awkwardly pitched up 45 minutes late. I hate being late. I really need to get my car fixed. But it was okay, they didn't hate me, and the thing I was meant to be doing was pretty much running itself. So it was all good.

Meh.

I feel like I'm becoming a flake.

Oh.

NaNoWriMo starts in 10 minutes for me. I can't decide if I should start now or wait until tomorrow. I've got some ideas, but it's going to be hard to pull them off.

http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/441168

Twenty Six Six Weeks and Three Days.

2009-10-28T01:19:00.000Z

Last week was brought to us by:

The Lurgy.

Definition:

Noun: lurgy lur-gee
Usage: Brit
(informal) a bug or illness

Derived forms: lurgies

Encyclopedia: Lurgy

And there we go. Since then I have gotten better but I'm still not 100%, I hate that I always blame it, but I am blaming the glandular fever of winter 2007. Woop! Forever it shall haunt me. Today and yesterday I was tired beyond all reason.

But that wasn't last week.

Last week was really brought to us by:

The letters: M-A-G-I-C M-O-U-S-E

The numbers: 27inch iMac

And the happy happy joy joy of finally buying (and waiting still for it to be delivered):

The movies: Stand by me (yet again), The end of Jaws and Cruel Intentions

The music: Metallica for whom the bell tolls

The video: (warning, it might make you feel slightly ill)

The awesome: Many episodes of How I Met Your Mother.

Two random friday facts.

2009-10-23T17:41:00.001+01:00

1. When I go down the stairs in Apple I sing 'Metallica — Whom the Bell tolls'

It fits in nicely with the stairs and beat... DunDun DunDun Dun. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun DunDun DunDun Dun.

Just like that.

2. When I do my make up in the morning, after putting mascara on one eye I look at myself and think about the cover of a clock work orange.

Sometimes to freak myself out I will do eyeliner and mascara in one eye first, then the other, just to be terrified at what I would look like with one huge eye and one tiny eye.

Awesome.

The Lurgee

2009-10-23T10:28:00.001+01:00

In my older years I've developed crazy dust allergies, and that means that when I sleep I always ALWAYS wake up with some kind of congested nose and sore throat.

Last week was the best week of my life and for some reason there was no nose or throat soreness when I woke up. It was wonderful.

I must have got far too excited and used to it, because last night I couldn't actually get to sleep because I seem to have developed some kind of new disease that will keep me congested until the cows come home. I had to sleep, last night, with an Olbas Oil soaked tissue under my nasal allocated face space and breathe that in all night otherwise there was no sleeping.

Such is life.

I don't want to get sick.

Gar.

But the lurgie is unavoidable. Especially since I spent most of this week being absolutely freezing. Kid you not. My house is freezing. When I was going to Apple Final Cut Pro traning on Wednesday I said to my wee brother 'Oh brother of mine, it is so utterly freezing in this here housing establishment' and he said 'I know, it's warmer outside.'

I laughed.

I went outside.

He was right.

British Etiquette.

2009-10-23T00:30:00.001+01:00

An incredibly interesting article, that I actually read all of... I tend to only read half of news articles :)

http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/film/london_film_festival/article6883065.ece

Thursday Thought.

2009-10-23T00:19:00.001+01:00

If you run everywhere you won't get mugged. Someone isn't going to mug a running person. It's good logic.

They won't do it because the person is in a hurry and doesn't have time to get mugged. They also are running, and therefore can run, and therefore said mugger won't be able to catch them or stop them or creep up on them unaware.

They also won't mug you because they actually can't see you because when you run you're actually invisible.

This has been a F A KK T.