Going along with my theme of being a cowboy, which I am... waaaaaahaaaawaaahaaaaaah wah wah wah...
I just found a 'Hell's Most Wanted' list posted on someone's tumblr blog. Very bizarre... but worth sharing for the total ludicrous(-speed) call for 'sports fan' and other such things.
There was a man near the apple store today preaching, and he was saying things like 'How long do you have left on this planet/in this life... how long do you have left? There are people that have died that you know, that are now living in hell, they are all in hell.'
I decided that his conversion tactics were actually idiotic, and it made me really glad to be part of a religion that doesn't isolate people, that doesn't tend to target or pre-judge people (I'm aware that individual members do do it, but it's not what the church really is) and that also believes in justice, equality, compassion, love and eternal happiness regardless of already being dead or not.
So here it is... the most wanted list... I might start looking out for these people with my holster and pay machine... I'll round them up for a reward from hell. Woop!
After re-reading the list I've realised that I'm actually part of the most wanted list... but in order to ensure that I should well and truly be on the list I will continue my cowboy quest and fully be a hypocrite.
Reasons I'm on the list:
Liars
I'm a terrible liar, but I know that I've done it or attempted it. Like once I tried to deny that I had ever had gross belly button fluff to eilidh's face and she knew I lied. And I know that I've 'bent' the truth several times to my mum, to avoid her being disappointed in me.
Thieves
Last year Toni and I stole three coffee beans from starbucks to send to Blair because we missed hanging out with her in starbucks.
Sports Fans
I like swimming, and watching swimming, and watching the Olympics
Blasphemers
Italy last year, outside the vatican
and also a couple of times on Temple square where you can see the Christus in the window of one of the visitor's centres 'Jesus Christ, on temple square'
Money Lovers
I love money, I enjoy having it, and I hate when I don't have it.
Pagans
I celebrate Easter and Christmas, which are, in actual fact, originally pagan holidays.
Witches
I like to pretend I'm a vampire slayer witch sometimes.
Gamblers
I gamble my time, and I gamble life....ooooo risky
Porn-Lovers
I have a folder on my computer called Jorn... which means Jon-porn, and I look at those pictures a lot
Evolutionists
I believe in evolution, as well as creationism, I think the two can exist together. Take for example me... I am a superhero, and I have evolved from being just a plain human
Pot Smokers
I once left a pot of water on the cooker for ages and forgot about it and boiled it dry until there was a little smoke.
Lesbians
Girl's are hotter than boys... fact... Scarlett Johansson is my big girl crush
Fornicators
I once indicated some forn to a local forn enforcer.
Hypocrites
Already covered
Psychics
I'm so totally psychic... it's like I have ESPN or something, I have a fifth sense. I can always tell when it's going to rain, well I can tell when it's raining. Beyond that I do have dreams that are awesome, some are just dreams, others are psychic and I predict that tomorrow will have 24 hours and there will be a lot of religion happening
2 comments:
Spotted!
Were you at Yoker train station on Monday (maybe Tues or Wed) last week? It was probably Monday the 5th, around 12pm.
I stumbled across your blog just over a year ago, and check back once every month or two. We’re both into art, religion, reading, and some of the same music, films and tv, so it's one of only two blogs I read. I thought you lived in America, so that made the following odder…
By freakish coincidence, immediately after reading your blog last Monday, (for the first time in two months), I went to the station, stood about waiting for the train, then, ‘Wait… is that the girl I was just reading about?’ It was surreal, since I’d gotten used to thinking of you as being a sort of fictional character.
I was going to say hello, but had the sudden realization that a) you’d have no idea who I was, b) I’d potentially give you flu, and c) it might just have been someone similar looking. I decided to be covert here, so sat a row behind, so when I walked to the door to switch at Partick, I’d be able to turn around briefly and ‘blogger celebrity spot’. When I turned around the girl was reading, so I’m assuming it was you.
I haven’t kept a blog since the days when everyone in Glasgow had a Livejournal, but in the hope of making this comment less scary:
www.myspace.com/lorna_murchison
http://www.facebook.com/people/Lorna-Murchison/732486567
This comment has been brought to you by:
The letter P: P for Pleurisy, P for procrastinating instead of reading Sir Walter Scott's Waverley, and P for potentially looking like a psychotic stalker.
The number 12: 12 for Today's date, and 12 for the lunchtime train.
P.S. I must've Americanised 'realised' since I forget that you're not American.
I'm pointing this out since you're a grammar fiend...
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