Things I hope apple anounce today

1. The Tablet.

Not what you were all anticipating, but in actual fact an oral consumption tablet that will give us all super powers (when downloaded from the 'power store') and heal all human illnesses.

2. The Tablet.

Again, not quite what was anticipated but a new branch of the company that focuses on the confectionery side of things. My Gran had the best recipe for tablet, perhaps that's why she had to die.

3. The Tablet.

The apple branded version of the big stone tablet that Azlan (not Jesus) was self-sacrificed on. Public use would be for our own self sacrificing.

4 The Tablet.

So that every person that knows how to read rumour sites will stop asking me when the tablet is being released, and if I know any more about it.

Why yes sir, I do more about it, I'm not allowed to tell you but because you are wearing a jacket today I feel like I will impart my knowledge to you. Of course we know nothing, why would we be trusted to know stuff... seriously. People.

5. The iKitchen.

A whole new range of kitchen appliances with the ability to play MP3s or M4vs.

6. The iTransporter.

Because I want to see what kind of errors can happen when you plug it into iTunes on a PC.


Sigh.