Wedding Day.

Today, is actually the day of wedding. Needless to say, it didn't happen quite according to plan. I've known for weeks that it wasn't happening, so it's not like today is a day of great grief of mourning. Just a day of well wishing and hoping.

I well wish and I well hope that another date can be picked and that date will happen. Also needless to say is my general boredom with the situation. Nothing seems to change, and it sucks. I had a really optimistic week last week, and the week before I had a very negative week, and now, I'm just placid, back to normal, living in the future, wishing and hoping, with no real belief that it will ever happen. It's like Christmas as a kid. The more you want something the longer it takes to arrive, and the more you believe you will get something the more likely you won't. So I think I used to tend to pretend that it was never going to happen and that way Christmas would come sooner and be a bit of a surprise when it did.

Fortunately I never had to 'plan' Christmas when I was a child. A wedding, that needs a certain amount of planning. It's all I do these days, it makes me believe that things will happen sooner, or at least if it does spring up as a surprise I'll be ready for it. :)

March 11th would have been good. Nice Spring air. Happy joy. Sigh.

Next wish.