Stay Where You Are Harry Potter; or, The Twilight Saga.

I finished Breaking Dawn.

And what a saga.

Four books churned out in 3 years, around 2000 pages of writing and I read them all in a month (including the waiting time for Breaking Dawn to be released). I love vampires, I am the vampire slayer after all - well one of many - and the one thing that vampires always have are sharp teeth. Stephenie Meyer decided to throw out the sharp teeth and a long with it the entire bite of her four part saga.

It was a nice story, with an ending that was far too happy to really exist. Everything worked out too perfectly and I do appreciate a good and happy ending, but this was just sickly sweetened with happiness. Perhaps it's my inability to understand residents of the United States or perhaps my distinctly British upbringing, but I just don't believe that happiness, to that degree, has or ever will exist.

You know it's a bad sign when the main character irritates you, which she did. She was so moany and wingey all the time and all she ever did was the same thing over and over, she had the same worries over and over, she never learned a thing.

Don't get me wrong, I liked reading the books, it was good to get my mind out of Naomi Klein's Shock Doctrine, Chuck Klosterman's academicly written essays, and even Chuck Palanhuick's nialistic story telling but I don't feel like I learned anything. There was no other meaning to it, there was no lesson to be learned. They just existed in a story. Perhaps I've been too withdrawn from the real fiction world for too long, but correct me if i'm wrong, usually books and stories have a meaning other than a teenage romance that all works out?

I think the comments that compare Twilight to Harry Potter and completely non-sensical. I'm not the biggest fan of Harry Potter, but those books are impressive. There is so much story, so much content, so much growth in the characters - the characters are also continuous. Then there are the subtle uses of Latin, the research and the fact that accompanies the fiction and makes it believable. Harry Potter is an impressive work and to ask J.K. Rowling to 'move over' for some trashy perfect vampire romance is just ridiculous. I know I am bias because Rowling is Scottish, but Meyer is a mormon, so I have an alligience to both sides, I just think there are more morals and standards in Harry Potter that Twilight, and above that Harry Potter is just wittier, smarter and more believable as a story.

Here's how I would have ended the book.

Bella would get over her selfish self and stop worrying about how she looked all the time.

She would go to Dartmouth and meet Reilly and then find out he worked for the initiative, Bella would change her name to Buffy... and then it would be an amazing story.

Really though.

I would have had it end with them living a few years mortally, easing off with the intense relationship of needing to be around each other all the time, Bella being a crazy baby vampire when she finally did change. Her still wanting to eat human food and doing it – that could have been her special power, the ability to live on eggs. (she ate a lot of eggs in that book I bet she was well blocked up.) And then when Charlie sees her again he goes, 'Oh, not you too, another damn vampire.' Then it would turn out that Renee's mother was a vampire or something like that.

I tell you, it makes sense, it would have made for some better reading too.

The Lost Boys Ending is still by far the best vampire story ending in the history of the world. I will stand by that forever. In fact. Let's upload and watch it now.

HERE how gutted am I that my Rolling stones video was removed from Youtube. Devistated. It was my 11th video. Now my 11th video is the Mormon Rap.

Yeah, so that whole video conversion thing is taking too long. I might post it later. I'm going to go make pasta.

I tell you though... if you ever get bored, search Youtube for Mock the Week and Watch the season six episodes because they are hillarious and more relevant to now than the older series'. Amazing.

Seven Point Nine Hours

It's Thursday. Which means the swimming stats will come later. However, first and foremost something amazing just happened.

I created the best playlist in the world ever. Now, I know I have claimed this in the past, but those playlists (that I usually make for other people) are the best playlists in the world that they've ever heard. This playlist is the best playlist in the world that I have ever heard. I thought that the June playlist, which was inevitably the China playlist as well, was pretty amazing, but this tops the lot.

I made a smart playlist on iTunes that gathers the top listened to 111 songs. yes I am obsessed with the 11's and the 1's.

I just finished my first ever listen through the whole thing. 7.9 hours of the most amazing music and memories ever. I am well pleased. As time progresses so will the playlist. That is the beauty of it, it will always be the best playlist in the world ever. This is a fact.

I have some amazing pictures of the past couple of days to post as well. Possibly tonight after swimming, while watching still Game perhaps :)

I've also been eating peanut butter M&Ms like they're going out of fashion, and the supply is running low. GASP.

I'll tell you me though, I made an absolutely spiffing dinner last night. AMAZING. I should screenshot the playlist, I'm that much in love with it.

My 17inch Mac Daddy Pro will be with me on Saturday. Pleased.

I also have no ceilings in the bathroom and kitchen, a possibility that I'm breating in asbestos and a bedroom and living room filled with junk from the aforementioned ceiling-less rooms. BAH. My stress levels and acid levels are beyond high. I need to get a grip of my life. Hmmm. I also need to call the docooootototor for some more prescription. The magic of the NHS. NN HHH SSS.

Also, I downloaded The Lost Boys last night because I'm far too cheap and skint to buy it, but there was no sound, so I am re-downloading it again. I got an overwhelming desire to see it because I've been reading the twilight saga. I think it's because I want the ending to be how I see it, and I'm not concerned with Bella, Jacob or Edward. What I want is for for Bella's Dad – Charlie – to make some sly comment at the end about how he always knew there were vampires and werewolves. I actually want her Mum and Dad to do that. Just like how The Lost Boys ends. I love that scene, I think it might be one of my all time favourite scenes.

I looked for it on YouTube there to no avail. When my version downloads I'll chop it and post it for you to see what I mean. It's the best part of the whole movie. Perhaps the best part of the 80s.

There's some crazy competitions just now that I keep hearing about, one is a straight out art competition, there's one that encourages people to make a movie of their home town, one to make a flag that will unite the world, and a church art competition. I want to enter them all. But I am severly lacking in time. What was it that Wee John told me, 'Is time on your side?' No it's not wee john there's far too much to do. Far too much. On top of that I still have Ross's website (if he still wants me to do it), Justin's logo, Mary's work too and now Mark's sister's poetry book. I'm happy to do them all, life just gets in the way of everything. And then I want to start my record label, publicise Bleary (I <3 Bleary... you will see how much when I post my 111 playlist haha), save the world, start one of my many books that I plan on making. Who honestly has the time. On top of all that I am actually working and paying back my debts. I don't know how normal people manage it, then all I want to do is knit, bake, and sew things. I love being me and having my strange desires but I am so busy it's unreal. So busy. If you ever see me looking bored or moaning that there's nothing to do send me home and tell me to do one of the many many things that need done.

I also started redesigning my tunasandwich site, so that needs finished off and coded. Bah. And I have countless pictures that I want to make in to stencils, as well as actually grow the balls to stencil outside. For which I would need my logo stencil done and some text. I don't want to just put up imagery I want to make people think.

Anyway. Time is pressing and I better do some more design work before hitting the pool and re-assembling the house.

I kind of want some salmon. Shame i have no money. noooo money. Grrrr. Anyone want to buy me salmon for dinner?