An Ode To Glasgow.

How your streets are filled with scum and yet glorius geniuses as well.



That's it.


Okay, so today there was a power outage on the train tracks and stuff, and my Mum was sending me text messages to give me the lowdown on what was going on and how I was going to get home. At 6pm I left work, I walked to the station and found out my train would be in at 6:29 rather than 6:17. Which isn't too late, but I was at the station 12 minutes early for the 6:17 train. So I opted to see if the fast bus was about. I went down the bus stop where I used to stand years ago to get the bus home from town.

Many buses passed that went to my house, but you'd only get on those if you had a spare 9 hours. I wanted the fast bus. I was starting to give up hope and started thinking about worth of time against the worth of money. I'd already spent £14 for the week on my train ticket. So I would be paying another £1.50 and the bus wasn't there yet, which meant that when I did get it I would essentially be paying more to take longer to get home, but at least I would be moving rather than waiting. I really don't like waiting.

While I was debating all of this there was a group of three of the ugliest people I've ever seen. One girl, and two guys – they got on the bus to Milton and left my sight, thank goodness. Prior to their leaving I couldn't stop staring because they were so ugly looking. They had faces of junkies, all worn and torn and saggy. One of the guys in the group threw down an empty juice cup that he had bought from the McDonalds restaurant behind us. After they left I continued my wait and decision as to whether I should just go and wait on the train.

What sealed the deal was a total jakey bas' who was about 5 foot 11 and I noticed him because he started backing into 'my space'. He was holding his phone and filming some pidgeons near his feet. He'd thrown half of his manky McDonald's burger on the ground and the birds were flocking. He then filmed and preped his foot, with his arsehole cohorts looking on. He then ran into the pidgeons and kicked into the group as hard as he could, not caring how many he hit, just as long as he hit one.

There was nothing I could do except stand there in utter disgust. My stomache was churning, the acid was rising. I had an overwhelming desire to stand up for what I knew was right/wrong, and yet, because this was the city centre of Glasgow, because it was a pidgeon, and because he had a team of people who would love to fight. I couldn't. Seriously. I would get stabbed. That ultimate fear of not being able to speak out against something cruel and disgusting because the same thing would happen to me as happened to the pidgeon is horrible.

I left. And got the train, with people who are a little more respectable and decent.

I seriously need to get out of Glasgow. I love this city so much, but I only like it when I can live in my bubble and not have to be witness to the actual violence that is fuelled here by lack of education, lack of parenting, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, the need to feel worth something by making other things and people feel worth nothing, the need to feel power by overpowering those weaker... although beautiful, and full of life, Glasgow can be a putrid vile and disgusting place. But I suppose everywhere is like that.

I've actually continued to stay upset about the pidgeon incident all night... that's about 4 hours.

Pure wickedness.

Sunday Snooze

All i've done today is wake up, get dressed, eat food, go to church, come away from church, and sleep.

And that's it.

It was Toni's last sunday before she immigrates on Wednesday, so we took pictures outside the church building like we used to have done back when we were in young women together.

Fantastic. I'll have to look out the old ones before I show the new ones off.

Two days left, then she's gone. Horrible.

Saturday Stats.

I went swimming on Saturday morning. Worst Idea ever.

Seriously. Remind me to never go swimming on a saturday again... all that happens is that you spend your time avoiding kids, swimming around women that make a 3 person gurth of breast stroke and talking, and racing the dad's of the children that you are also avoiding and hoping will beat it when the wave machine comes on in the other pool.

One of the biggest faults of the Playdrome (my local pool) is that they never have a lane for real swimmers – I suppose they never have enough real swimmers. The worst thing about that pool is the elastoplasts, skin flakes, and dust in it. It's vile. If you open your eyes and look under the water it's disgusting. I kid you not. Filthiest pool ever. It makes me feel sick.

So here are my incomplete stats for saturday:

200m FC
200m Breast
200m FC legs
200m Butterfly legs
200m breaststroke legs

25m butterfly
25m FC
25m breaststoke
25m FC25m butterfly
25m FC
25m breaststoke
25m FC
300m fc paddles and flippers
50m FC
50m swim down

Total:1600m Time:45 minutes.

It was lame.




After that I came home, got ready, spoke to toni, we went to town on the train and we did that waving at the station, I'm in this carriage, run thing. It was funny.

And then we wandered about, went to see what was on at the pictures... nothing.

Then decided to go to Alien Wars... but the queue was too long.

Then went to starbucks and sat for a few hours.

Then we went home and she went to dinner and I came back and did my thing then decided to go to bed at 10:30 because it was the new 11:30 and I called Jon until 12:30 which was the new 1:30. Then I slept.

The end.

Friday Fun

I played scrabble with slug.

Seriously.

I didn't leave the house.

Ater one week of working full time I was done in. It's been a long time since I last did it.

SO here is some photographic evidence of my friday failure at scrabble.



The slug beat me... those pesky last letters that got taken off my score were my demise. Utterly Lame.



At the same time as getting our scrabble on we were watching Dumb and Dumber. I started watching that movie a few weeks ago at Dane and Amy's house before going for dinner and I was enlightened to the fact that it's mostly filmed in Salt Lake or thereabouts. And sure enough, Salt Lake airport was there, park city was aspen and the snow looked the same – white and cold.

All in all, it was a fantastic friday of just pure sibling awesomeness. Fact.

I've been waiting...

... I've been waiting for this moment all my life.



I love this song. I saw the Silversun Pickups with Mary and Nevada like 2 years ago at the Indian Summer Festival in Victoria Park, Glasgow. Brilliant festival, brilliant line up, and so close to my house. Good weather too.

Anyway, I had no idea who they were then, and then I came across some of their stuff – honestly, I have songs appear in my iTunes that I don't know where it came from.

I love this song though because it always reminds me of RockBand2 now. Moan, and sigh as you will, it's true. Good memories though.

And today, after a meeting with the new Head of Digital at Good, I was leaving the car park and it was playing and I realised that there are things going on my life just now that I have waited my whole life for, and sometimes, because it was so fast, so unexpected, and so real I forget how wonderful and exciting it is. I think the misery of being so far away always overshadows the joy and makes it feel more like a dream or something I imagined.

How cruel would that be if I was to wake up one day and still be 18. I would hate that. I love living life. I came across a fantastic quote on a SLC guy's blog the other day. I don't know him, he doesn't know me, but I enjoy his posts on occasions.

"Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life."
- Omar Khayyam


And I am tremendously happy – regardless of distance – I just have to always remember that.

Toothbrush thoughts.

So, the other day when I was packing up to come home I realised that toothbruses in toothbrush holders, or just in the bathroom next to the sink, in general is a really big indicator about who's in the house and who's not.

When I was at uni I would have a toothbrush at home and at uni, a kind of signifier that I either forgot my toothbrush a lot and needed two, or that I was always in both places and never settled anywhere.

I then started thinking about how many toothbrushes i've had in life. Pure mega millions. They would have started as child/baby toothbrushes, and then changed over the year. Even the design of toothbrushes will have changed. The colours will have been altered, the features and even the electronics.

My toothbrush currently sits with my mother's and my brother's. In the future it could sit with one other person's and as time goes by baby/child toothbrushes will be added, because my toothbrush is now an adult one, and it will stay an adult one regardless of how often i change it (every six months – dental hygene is not something to be sniffed at).

But if you think about families, and holidays, and business trips. Sometimes the daddy toothbrush will be gone, sometimes the mummy toothbrush, sometimes the kid toothbrushes will stay with their friends. Sometimes they will all go in a bag and everyone will go on holiday.

I do believe that the toothbrush holder in any house hold will give you a good indication of who's in, who's out, and who's where.

These are my toothbrush thoughts for today.

The Return of Vizzle M – like return of the mac but not.

Once upon a time I read a book and it mentioned the Ocean Dome in Japan.

I always wanted to go.

I just read this

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miyazaki_Ocean_Dome

now I can't go. Well, I could always brake in.

I bet it will open again one day.

Ahhh those Japanese, they are awesome.

Anyway... in other news, on my way home tonight – I was driving again – I went to turn left, and crossed straight over the three lanes to get into the right hand lanes.

This was a major fopa because I am now back in Scotland as of 6pm yesterday (thank you British Airways and Terminal 5).

Luckily I nipped that mistake in the driving bud half way into the third lane, giving me just enough time to turn my little ka ka ka ka ka into the third lane of the left hand side of the road. Good job me.

So I'm home.

That's pretty much it.

My first flight was an exit row seat so I had extra room. Then I got to LA and struggled getting the magical A bus between terminals. I really hate LAX. This is a fact. Terminal 5 in Heathrow is a breeze in comparisson, and it has a wagamama in it. Mega.

My second flight was on a huge huge jumbo jet and I had a special request put in for a window seat, which I got. I actually had to kick an indian woman who smelled slighly of spices out of my seat. She also had so many bags with her that it was unreal, and she fought with the air hostesses for them and they had to put them in their cabin because they're not allowed to lift bags, and the over heads were too high up for me, never mind her and she was shorter than me.

So I ended up in the front row with a wall in front of me – extra leg room again. And I had all three seats to myself – ya beauty. However, the arm rests didn't go up so it was not my future bed. Then an Irish man came and sat on the aisle seat. Keith was his name and he was a rare laugh. We chatted until we took off, and then until we got our dinner and then i started watching Happy Go Lucky. I fell asleep half way through then turned it off fully when it ended and went to sleep. I tossed and turned and moved. The secret was two pillows, and two blankets, and no shoes but british airways socks and a british airways eye mask. Sincerly.

When I woke up, I checked the 'time left of flight' and it was 1 hour and 40 minutes!

I kid you not.

So I slept for about 8 hours. No way hosea... yeah I said that.

First time that's ever happened. Except that time on the bus back from london in first year when we were on our art and design trip and I slept the whole way back on the bus with my postman pat pillow.

Terminal five was a pure breeze and the Irish guy let me bolt out in front of him because I had a short lay over. I totally made it though and still had good ettiquette. That's all that matters, to be fair.

Then I got my Glasgow plane and was in the exit row again with three seats to myself, then I was back in Glasgow. Josb done. Fact.

It might not have been first class again, but it was a mighty cushy trip – yet again. British airways are my friend.

I got in at six, stayed awake until 10 and woke up at 11:30 today because of the gas man... jet lag beaten? we'll soon see.

I tell you, when I woke up this morning I was so confused. The past 3 odd months felt like a dream almost. A fantastically amazing dream. I was even happier to realise that it was reality and i would get to go back in seven weeks. That's (let me count)58 sleeps until I see my boy again. Pleased. SUCK, that's eight weeks, and one day. NO.

Lame lame lame.

I feel cheated. Ha.




In other news, the song Talk Like That by the Presets is fantastic and I listened to it a lot today. It reminds me of Salt Lake City Urban Outfitters.

Bleary post 2

This is post two for bleary today, but I wanted to say that if you listen to I'm Here Where's Reno (their EP/album thingie that I got from slow train) 10 times in a row, it will take exactly three hours.

My next listening will be the eleventh time.

The Best Piece of Design Advice.

OKay, so I just found this site

http://www.questionablecharacters.com

which in turn linked me to this site

http://www.frankchimero.com

which in turn linked me to his ethos page

http://www.frankchimero.com/ethos

which in turn lead me to add it to my RSS feeds on mac mail.

Which in turn lead me to read the last ten most recent posts.

The last one said:

There are no secrets or shortcuts. Just work hard.

Which in turn made me feel motivated and empowered.

Seriously. I need to stop being a career failure and just get on with it. I might have to redesign my site first off :)

Well first off I need to do the work that I have waiting to be done.

And I need to get out of debt. I just attempted to apply for two credit cards with 15 months 0% on balance transfers. Sadly I got rejected for both. I think it's because i'm self-employed. B'tards.

Red Vines.

Back in Novemeber I decided that I was going to buy Red Vines for one Blair McGarvey (sister missionary). That bag of red vines was consumed by me while I sipped on some Dr Pepper (or Feffer as Jon calls it) and wrote my novel.

Now, I am still chewing on them and now i'm eating them for breakfast, which sucks because I can feel the acid rising. Sugar, carbonation and tomatoes all cause acid to be over produced. You would think, given I ran out of pills, that I would stop being so frivolous with my eating habits. Alas. No. I seem to hate my own body.

After my 'even steven' work out I have a really sore butt muscle today... well two... one on each cheek... but I think I pulled them while doing butterfly. It just encourages me to do more.

Anyway, on my way back to the flat yesterday, after 90 minutes of intense swimming, i stopped to get Bleary's album from slowtrain records. And I love it.

Bleary are my utah local band obsession. I just think there's so much musical talent it's insane. I honestly wish I could give them the recognition they deserve. There's so much pish music in the world just now that it's totally refreshing to hear something so tremendous, with so much thought behind it. Seriously, for a three piece, they make a good sound.

Last night Dane and Amycame up from American Fork and we played Seinfeld scene it – which Jon has wanted to buy and play for weeks, but had previously exercised restraint over buying it. We broke yesterday and went on a target trail to find it. I'm not the competitive type so I really don't mind losing board games and what not, i've been losing so much my entire life at things that it doesn't bother me any more. Sincerly.

Although, we went bowling on Tuesday night with a couple of Jon's work people, and one of their significant others. At the beginning the other girl and I declared our profuse suckiness at bowling. The other girl turned out to be really good, and I was the one sitting with a 50s score while everyone else – honestly – had triple figures. Alas. I actually don't like bowling all that much 1. because I suck at it, but I get that practice makes perfect. 2. I hate that everyone watches me, I don't like that amount of attention. The only thing worse than bowling attention would be to have your birthday at the bowling alley and have someone bring out a cake at the same time as you take a shot then everyone in the entire place would just stare.

Birthday attention terrifies me. I don't like it all being about me. That's why Mary the skills Mills and I started combining out Birthdays into an international holiday called Mary Vikkimas, it technically lasts 2 weeks.

I can't believe that I'm leaving Utah in a couple of days. This is officially the longest I've ever been away from my cat, and my family. It was my November stint, but this is now winning by 6/7 days more. It's been ten weeks and two days since I was home. Kind of crazy. I can tell you, it gets tiring living out of a suitcase. I'm looking forward to the next two months so I can just kick back and live out of drawers. I'm not looking forward to having to find any kind of job, and I'm not looking forward to missing Jon. The 28 days I was without him in december was so hard and so miserable, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it without dying at least 5 times. I'll just have to bury myself in books, violins, cats, work, extra-curricular work, life planning, and friends.

Speaking of friends I will have just over two weeks to see Anoinette before she leaves scotland for good. FOR GOOD. So sad. marriage changes everything, and she will still be my awesome best friend, but we'll be so far apart and she'll be making new friends, and creating a new life (her own, not spawn, but she could be creating spawn... toni spawn called Kilsyth). I'm so excited for her though, and May will be fantastic, to see her and finally meet HER Jonathan. M M M mega. One day we will be old together and senile and we will both be assumed to be nutters because we both talk of Jonathans, and she will administer our medication for us, because she can and she's trained to :)

I just put another red vine in my mouth.

I went to an institute class a couple of weeks ago and the guy made a point of asking what we thought the fruit on the tree of life tasted like. Most people guessed sweet. (the choices were sweet or sour.) his conclusion was that sweet things have a bitter after taste and bitter things a sweet after taste. Therefore, he concluded the good fruit is bitter like a lemon. I can't remember if I blogged about that or not. But meh, i'm saying it again.

Man, I seriously love love love love love bleary. Such a good sound.

If you don't wake up, if you don't go to sleep, then you don't wake up, if you don't go to sleep.





So, this time last year, I was miserable. I had a job, that made me happy. Well I still have the same job, just no work. I was chasing after someone that never wanted me. And I was organising stuff for the YSA institute graduation. I was a hot chocolate drinking, roll and chips eating, cinema goer. It's funny how everything can change in one night, and everything else is forgotten.

Not so much the 'favourite past-times' like cinema, hot chocoalate, and friends. I'm thinking more along the lines of F****baws. Seriously. 12 months. Twelve months. I stressed myself out beyond all reason worrying and thinking and scheming and planning. Then one day, happiness just falls on my lap and everything that strained my brain for 12 months prior just vanished. Not surpressed. Just gone. Because. It. Never. Existed. This is what i've realised. And I apologise to everyone I moaned and talked to about it, because it was all a farcical over analysis of something that didn't really mean anything. However, if I had not been so caught up in it all I would never have been here last May, and I would never have ended up with a car in September, and I would never have stayed long enough in Utah to meet my happiness. Sincerly. If I didn't have that burgundy car I would have left Utah at the end of October right before hallowe'en. Thursday the 23rd actually. I would have been gone. But I stayed for another three weeks. Then I met him 4 days before i was meant to leave again, but I extended one last time, just in case, and the in case was just.

Sometimes it's hard to let go of past things that were detrimental to ones mental health – but without those things I would not be where I am now. And so it's hard to appreciate the pain for the stepping stone it became, when all you want to do is forget that it ever existed or ever hurt. If that makes sense. I suppose that's one of the things life is about – using the pain of the past to construct a more balanced, happier future.

That's what we need to do though. Use our failures of the past to see that they led to the successes of the present and hopefully the future.

Wednesday Stats (Even Stevens.)

For some reason I decided that I was going to swim every stroke for the same distance.

200yds front crawl
200yds breast stroke

(with fins)
200yds front crawl legs
200yds breast stroke legs

200yds butterfly (50 full, 50 one handed x 2)
200yds backstroke

(with fins)
200yds butterfly legs
200yds backstroke legs

200yds IM (50 butterfly, 50 backstroke, 50 breaststroke, 50 front crawl)

(with paddles)
100yds front crawl arms
100yds breast stroke arms
100yds butterfly arms (50 full, 50 one handed x 2)
100yds backstroke arms

(with paddles and fins)
200yds front crawl
200yds backstroke
200yds butterfly (fins only)
200yds breaststroke (paddles only)

100yds front crawl sprint
50yds breast stroke sprint
50yds front crawl sprint

50yds swim down

total distance: 3250 yds
total lengths: 130
total time: 1 hour and thirty minutes.

Dress update and my life in pictures.

Okay, there's not much going on in my life – per say – just now.

But I do have some odd pictures that i've been meaning to upload for a while.

First things first... I GOT MY DRESS... on ebay. A size 4 though, so it's a little big, and it makes me look a little hefty I think, I don't know though, I think it's my chest size... doh.

I did a quick 'fashion shoot' a couple of weeks ago when I got it, the pictures are a bit grainy because of the light. Ha.









I also got the pleasure to buy some amazing plaid trousers after I saw a girl on the trax wearing three quarter length ones like it. I wanted some. So I found these for cheap in urban. So cheap and so men's wear too. I have too many men clothes or 'unisex' haha. Yes I am so cool, yes I am so punk. Get me my skateboard. Let's play.









Also, two weekends ago, Jon and I had quite the play time. Friday involved ice skating... and I took pictures that will be usd for Gypsy Feet








yes that is theeeee olypmic speed skating oval. The whole place was amazing and HUGE. It took like 2 hours to get around one circle. Two hours or 5 minutes. It was so much fun though, and as always it took me a whole hour to get my nerve back.

Afterwards there were complaints of sore thighs, but I was fine. i realised it's because I trash my own leg muscles all the time swimming. I really want to go swimming tomorrow. I was meant to go today but I slept in. That and the 20 minute walk from the trax to the pool is so unappealing.

I also threw this amazing animated gif together... I can has skills... of my awesome boy.




That weekend also involved an amazing game of bowling with the wonderful Dane and Amy. I'm not a huge fan of bowling. my arm gets tired, I get frustrated that I can't hit things, I get bored and sloppy. but I really enjoyed going with them and Jon. Tis always fun hanging out with them.




again that's a picture for Gypsy Feet.

And during the weekend Jon and I also spied these two 'business men' living free and safe with their giant tyred motorbikes.

Take note of their shoes, their jeans, and the spikey hat. All a give away that it's a weekend thing in the good weather, and they only have one pair of weekend jeans, and they were only allowed to buy safe looking bikes – by order of their wives.




Every weekend as well, Jon and I are faced with the challenge of Sunday... what to do? I'm convinced most of this boredom comes from a preconceived opinion that sunday's are boring no matter what.

Two weeks ago I played with some dominoes before I was told to put them away in case I broke them... touchy. haha.






Last week we went long boarding in a car park and got chased by some security guard that was being all pissy and moany and trying to take away the board. He soon realised that both of us together were quite intimidating and he skedaddle (which is a word . I also think he cut us some slack when I told him I wasn't from this country... which makes no sense whatsoever, but I am convinced that the accent works, for no apparent reason. :)

He was all 'Yeah I can hear that'. So it was either a combination of me speaking, or my accent, that made him realise it wasn't a one on one battle, and that I would step up making it 2 against one. I seriously wanted to pan his face in, he was irritating me that much, and it was my special time of the month so he would have had all my inside pain unleashed upon him. Seriously, I'm pleased he left I might have been 'removed' from the country otherwise haha.

Happy Square Root day.

And make sure you pronounce it with all those American A's. HAAAppy squAre Root DAAAAAAAAAAAAy.

Today is also my 6 year anniversary of passing my driving test.

I passed on the 03/03/2003. It was my fifth test. hmmmm.