Red Vines.

Back in Novemeber I decided that I was going to buy Red Vines for one Blair McGarvey (sister missionary). That bag of red vines was consumed by me while I sipped on some Dr Pepper (or Feffer as Jon calls it) and wrote my novel.

Now, I am still chewing on them and now i'm eating them for breakfast, which sucks because I can feel the acid rising. Sugar, carbonation and tomatoes all cause acid to be over produced. You would think, given I ran out of pills, that I would stop being so frivolous with my eating habits. Alas. No. I seem to hate my own body.

After my 'even steven' work out I have a really sore butt muscle today... well two... one on each cheek... but I think I pulled them while doing butterfly. It just encourages me to do more.

Anyway, on my way back to the flat yesterday, after 90 minutes of intense swimming, i stopped to get Bleary's album from slowtrain records. And I love it.

Bleary are my utah local band obsession. I just think there's so much musical talent it's insane. I honestly wish I could give them the recognition they deserve. There's so much pish music in the world just now that it's totally refreshing to hear something so tremendous, with so much thought behind it. Seriously, for a three piece, they make a good sound.

Last night Dane and Amycame up from American Fork and we played Seinfeld scene it – which Jon has wanted to buy and play for weeks, but had previously exercised restraint over buying it. We broke yesterday and went on a target trail to find it. I'm not the competitive type so I really don't mind losing board games and what not, i've been losing so much my entire life at things that it doesn't bother me any more. Sincerly.

Although, we went bowling on Tuesday night with a couple of Jon's work people, and one of their significant others. At the beginning the other girl and I declared our profuse suckiness at bowling. The other girl turned out to be really good, and I was the one sitting with a 50s score while everyone else – honestly – had triple figures. Alas. I actually don't like bowling all that much 1. because I suck at it, but I get that practice makes perfect. 2. I hate that everyone watches me, I don't like that amount of attention. The only thing worse than bowling attention would be to have your birthday at the bowling alley and have someone bring out a cake at the same time as you take a shot then everyone in the entire place would just stare.

Birthday attention terrifies me. I don't like it all being about me. That's why Mary the skills Mills and I started combining out Birthdays into an international holiday called Mary Vikkimas, it technically lasts 2 weeks.

I can't believe that I'm leaving Utah in a couple of days. This is officially the longest I've ever been away from my cat, and my family. It was my November stint, but this is now winning by 6/7 days more. It's been ten weeks and two days since I was home. Kind of crazy. I can tell you, it gets tiring living out of a suitcase. I'm looking forward to the next two months so I can just kick back and live out of drawers. I'm not looking forward to having to find any kind of job, and I'm not looking forward to missing Jon. The 28 days I was without him in december was so hard and so miserable, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it without dying at least 5 times. I'll just have to bury myself in books, violins, cats, work, extra-curricular work, life planning, and friends.

Speaking of friends I will have just over two weeks to see Anoinette before she leaves scotland for good. FOR GOOD. So sad. marriage changes everything, and she will still be my awesome best friend, but we'll be so far apart and she'll be making new friends, and creating a new life (her own, not spawn, but she could be creating spawn... toni spawn called Kilsyth). I'm so excited for her though, and May will be fantastic, to see her and finally meet HER Jonathan. M M M mega. One day we will be old together and senile and we will both be assumed to be nutters because we both talk of Jonathans, and she will administer our medication for us, because she can and she's trained to :)

I just put another red vine in my mouth.

I went to an institute class a couple of weeks ago and the guy made a point of asking what we thought the fruit on the tree of life tasted like. Most people guessed sweet. (the choices were sweet or sour.) his conclusion was that sweet things have a bitter after taste and bitter things a sweet after taste. Therefore, he concluded the good fruit is bitter like a lemon. I can't remember if I blogged about that or not. But meh, i'm saying it again.

Man, I seriously love love love love love bleary. Such a good sound.

If you don't wake up, if you don't go to sleep, then you don't wake up, if you don't go to sleep.





So, this time last year, I was miserable. I had a job, that made me happy. Well I still have the same job, just no work. I was chasing after someone that never wanted me. And I was organising stuff for the YSA institute graduation. I was a hot chocolate drinking, roll and chips eating, cinema goer. It's funny how everything can change in one night, and everything else is forgotten.

Not so much the 'favourite past-times' like cinema, hot chocoalate, and friends. I'm thinking more along the lines of F****baws. Seriously. 12 months. Twelve months. I stressed myself out beyond all reason worrying and thinking and scheming and planning. Then one day, happiness just falls on my lap and everything that strained my brain for 12 months prior just vanished. Not surpressed. Just gone. Because. It. Never. Existed. This is what i've realised. And I apologise to everyone I moaned and talked to about it, because it was all a farcical over analysis of something that didn't really mean anything. However, if I had not been so caught up in it all I would never have been here last May, and I would never have ended up with a car in September, and I would never have stayed long enough in Utah to meet my happiness. Sincerly. If I didn't have that burgundy car I would have left Utah at the end of October right before hallowe'en. Thursday the 23rd actually. I would have been gone. But I stayed for another three weeks. Then I met him 4 days before i was meant to leave again, but I extended one last time, just in case, and the in case was just.

Sometimes it's hard to let go of past things that were detrimental to ones mental health – but without those things I would not be where I am now. And so it's hard to appreciate the pain for the stepping stone it became, when all you want to do is forget that it ever existed or ever hurt. If that makes sense. I suppose that's one of the things life is about – using the pain of the past to construct a more balanced, happier future.

That's what we need to do though. Use our failures of the past to see that they led to the successes of the present and hopefully the future.

I love shoes.

Last week after church I went to the park to kill time before going to Patsy's. The only problem with going to the park after church was that I was wearing high heel shoes and my vintage awesome dress. That was no problem for me, but for everyone else they just stared.

I was stalking through the park quicker than most of the people there with their hiking boots and short shorts. And they looked at me as if I had fallen out of the 50s or something. I won't deny that I wasn't loving it and slightly amused at the looks I was getting. I was not wearing typical park attire.

I walked for about 10 minutes then sat on the grass and finished the end of eclipse. I was joking that I would read all three of the Twilight books before the fourth was released, but I managed to do it with no effort at all, with a week to spare. I've had no vampire fix for the past week though. Although tomorrow is the day, I'm so excited for lunchtime tomorrow.

The week has been a bit crazy. It's been all work and no play, and then I had a minor breakdown which made me felt quite psychotic. Although, to know that I'm being psychotic means that I'm not actually. I need to reset though, and when I reset I'm going to hit the ctrl, apple, shift and s button too. (or f. I can't actually remember.)

I'll be grand though. I just need to take more time for doing the things that I want to do with work and career etc.

Anyway, I love Macbook Pro. It makes me so happy, and I wish I worked for apple, although I would probably start resenting Apple if I worked for them.

I wish I had more shoes, I wish I actually had more occasions to wear real shoes. I always forget how much I love shoes.

I was planning on doing a total photo montage, because I've switching all the files over I've found tonnes of images that i've taken off my phone that I've never put online, but they are somewhat amusing. But It's almost 1am, and I slept the Sunday away, and I have to go to work in the morning.

Things that make me happy (dot com):

Sliced dried (soft) mango.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pasta and Cheese (with Pesto)
Rice Krispie cakes
Cheese
Travelling
Driving (while listening to amazing playlists)
Zero (the ghost cat)
Watching Back to the Future with Deanerio at the same time in different countries (but the same time zone) while on msn.
Shoes

The Stow Away Carbohydrate.

It's quite common for me to see things that I want to blog about. I want to write about everything, I want to photography and document everything, I want to write.

But, more often than not, I just can't be bothered, or I forget.

I have many random pictures on iPhoto that i've never uploaded and that are just random random, rather than awesome random.

This will be one such picture.



My Mum is away for the summer, my brother is leaving tomorrow and my Sister took him for a walk this evening, so I fired on some pasta for dinner. Exotic for a Sunday. When you cook for yourself the fancy cooking of food sometimes just doesn't inspire and junk food has to do. My junk food is pasta.

So I poured the dehydrated morsels into the pan and lo and behold what would be in the bag of Asda Fusilli (twisted) pasta, but a Tube pasta shape.

Where was he going? What was he doing?

I think he was in love with a twist. Twist and Tube. I think they were part of a tragic love story, then i scalded them, drowned them, and ate them. I hope they merge together in my blood stream and send love to my heomoglobin.

Or perhaps he was the gang leader and the rest of the pasta rebelled against him in pasta factory and threw him in the bag.

Or MAYBE he was killed by the pasta mafia, and thrown in the pasta-equivalent of the Clyde.

Or maybe he just wanted out.

Or maybe he was mentally ill and thought he was a twist.

Of maybe he just wanted to do the twist (the dance; we've already covered love story).

Or maybe he was escaping the pasta factory and thought the twist making machine was a slide.

Or maybe he fell in, while escaping.

Or maybe he was in love with a tube and realised his mistake being a tube himself and had to commit pasta suicide.

Or maybe he was in unrequitted love with a tube. PAH HA.

How many times have we all lived that story minus us being a piece of dehydrated carbohydrate.

Although I think I am quite often a dehydrated carbohydrate in unrequitted love with a tube.

Maybe I was that piece of pasta and maybe I ate myself and now i'm going to dream a dream similar to that scene from Being John Malkovich.



CHAI TEA MAKES MY LIFE HAPPY. FACT.