Life in a nutshell.
I've been swimming 2.5 times (I think) since my last blog post, and I swam awesome... don't ask me to remember the specific stats.
Car failed it's MOT so i'm just leaving her to rot, or selling her for spares or repair.
I booked my flight and I leave scotland (possibly forever) on december 14th.
I handed in my notice at work and finish up there the week before the 14th.
I am currently on work holiday. Yayy.
I almost went to London for work for a week, but because of the world trade fair I couldn't get a hotel.
For the past two weeks I've been working until 8pm every night except Saturdays.
Yesterday was my first day off that I didn't have to set an alarm clock for and still get up super early for 15 days, sleeping in until 11 felt amazing.
I've been watching all of the Harry Potter movies, in this order: 5, 6, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
My wee brother turned 18 and there was a lot of cake.
For his birthday we're going to go see Jackass 3D... Oh yeah!!!
I went to see Due Date with Toni and there was a middle eastern man next to me with stinky breath who kept laughing so hard he was leaping out his seat, and he kept saying things like 'oh my goodness' and 'oh no' at some of the ridiculous or tense parts.
I also went to see the Social Network with Toni.
Toni's here.
It's awesome.
We have hot chocolated a couple of times and been all around awesome.
November 5th happened and I saw loads of fireworks with claire and we played with sparklers.
I attended one funeral, conveniently on my last day off before yesterday.
I also had lunch after the funeral with nicola, stuart and their cute family as well as Kate and David Browning.
My mum left and went to Ireland for several weeks after she retired back at the beginning of October.
I was left to look after my wee brother and that turned into hell. He was very messy and very very lazy when it came to doing anything house wise.
My Mum is back now... which is awesome.
It's Thanksgiving in my Sister's house today, so I'm going over to get my scran on later.
Saturday, 20 November 2010
Friday, 8 October 2010
Random baby fact
Most nights when I go to bed I breathe a huge sigh of relief and absolutely love the fact that I am horizontal. Sometimes I get giddy about it and wiggle a bit and exclaim how excited I am to be in bed and not have to get out for around eight hours.
The other night I was doing this and my mum was laughing at me and I told her that it's not just the fact that it's bed, it's the fact that I am horizontal. I LOVE BEING HORIZONTAL.
About 45 seconds later, she replied with 'Well that makes sense, because when were you a baby you would hate to be held while you were going to sleep. I would just put you in your bed and you would go to sleep on your own.'
Horizontal. And wiggling.
The other night I was doing this and my mum was laughing at me and I told her that it's not just the fact that it's bed, it's the fact that I am horizontal. I LOVE BEING HORIZONTAL.
About 45 seconds later, she replied with 'Well that makes sense, because when were you a baby you would hate to be held while you were going to sleep. I would just put you in your bed and you would go to sleep on your own.'
Horizontal. And wiggling.
Dreams
Last night I had a dream about hiding from unwanted visitors, and we were all lying on the floor of a house hoping they would go away, because they would just come and trash the place or ruin our lives...it was totally tense, because we were scared to move or do anything in the house for hours... and then, in another dream, I was in a house with some creepy guy and other random creepy friends that I couldn't recognise trying to kill a really really really creepy person. We squashed him and froze him into an ice circle and then made a hole in the floorboards and dropped him back into his own flat and smashed him... but then he defrosted and pulled himself together and then hired acrobats to hang from the ceiling on their acrobat ropes so that they would witness if we tried to kill him again. We kept throwing things at him through the hole in his ceiling/our floor but he kept dodging them.
Weird.
So... my interpretation, using my source material below and knowing my own self would indicate that in dream one with the hiding I am not willing to accept certain aspects of a situation because it would ruin everything and change everything and although they people outside that want to come out might be fun and exciting they are totally lame and will ruin my life and i refuse to change because they are unwanted, but they might actually have some kind of news to reveal to me that I don't want to know because everything will be lame.
And my second dream the person we were trying to kill was insignificant, I've no idea who they were, but I do know that they were annoying, and I think that might be an aspect of myself that I want to eliminate, I find myself gross and annoying currently... and that person we were killing was a repulsive, vile, grotesque human being. I don't know what he had done, but he made me sick. I was also mostly watching the attempted killing which makes me think it might mean That I'm just watching as someone else has to deal with my grossness, and if the killing was based on anger emotions it seems to be that I am just watching as someone else who makes me angry is being eliminated, but won't go away.... meaning that I won't do anything myself about it, but i'm happy to let other people do something about it.
Given that there were acrobats, I'm thinking that the reason I'm angry is that there is not a good balance in my life and that is causing me to want to resolve and 'take care of' the angering source.
Weird.
Hmmmmm.
Acrobat
To see or do acrobats in your dream, suggest that you need to better balance aspects of your life. It could also mean that fears will prevent you from achieving your goals.
Visitor
To have a visitor in your dream, signifies that some important news or information will soon be revealed to you. It may also suggest that love is just around the corner. Alternatively, a visitor indicates that you are experiencing a new phase in your life. If the visitor is unwelcome, then it indicates your refusal to change.
To dream that you are a visitor, suggests that you need to look at the overall picture on some issue. You need to gain a wider perspective on things.
Hiding
To dream that you are hiding, suggests that you are keeping some secret or withholding some information. You may not be facing up to a situation or dealing with some issue. However, you may be getting ready to reveal something and confess before somebody finds out. In particular, to dream that you are hiding from some authority figure (police, parent, teacher...), implies feelings of guilt.
To dream that someone is hiding, indicates that you are looking for a sense of security and protection.
Murder
To dream that you have committed a murder, indicates that you are putting an end to an old habit and a former way of thinking. This could also refer to an end to an addiction. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you have some repressed aggression or rage at yourself or at someone. Note also that dreams of murder occur frequently during periods of depression.
To dream that you witness a murder, indicates deep-seated anger towards somebody. Consider how the victim represents aspects of yourself that you want to destroy or eliminate.
Killing
To dream that you kill someone, indicates that you are on the verge of losing your temper and self-control. Consider the person you have killed and ask yourself if you feel any rage towards him or her in your waking life. Your dream may be expressing some hidden anger. Alternatively, you may be trying to kill an aspect of yourself that is represented by the person killed. Identify the characteristics of this person and ask yourself which of these qualities you are trying to put an end to.
Weird.
So... my interpretation, using my source material below and knowing my own self would indicate that in dream one with the hiding I am not willing to accept certain aspects of a situation because it would ruin everything and change everything and although they people outside that want to come out might be fun and exciting they are totally lame and will ruin my life and i refuse to change because they are unwanted, but they might actually have some kind of news to reveal to me that I don't want to know because everything will be lame.
And my second dream the person we were trying to kill was insignificant, I've no idea who they were, but I do know that they were annoying, and I think that might be an aspect of myself that I want to eliminate, I find myself gross and annoying currently... and that person we were killing was a repulsive, vile, grotesque human being. I don't know what he had done, but he made me sick. I was also mostly watching the attempted killing which makes me think it might mean That I'm just watching as someone else has to deal with my grossness, and if the killing was based on anger emotions it seems to be that I am just watching as someone else who makes me angry is being eliminated, but won't go away.... meaning that I won't do anything myself about it, but i'm happy to let other people do something about it.
Given that there were acrobats, I'm thinking that the reason I'm angry is that there is not a good balance in my life and that is causing me to want to resolve and 'take care of' the angering source.
Weird.
Hmmmmm.
Acrobat
To see or do acrobats in your dream, suggest that you need to better balance aspects of your life. It could also mean that fears will prevent you from achieving your goals.
Visitor
To have a visitor in your dream, signifies that some important news or information will soon be revealed to you. It may also suggest that love is just around the corner. Alternatively, a visitor indicates that you are experiencing a new phase in your life. If the visitor is unwelcome, then it indicates your refusal to change.
To dream that you are a visitor, suggests that you need to look at the overall picture on some issue. You need to gain a wider perspective on things.
Hiding
To dream that you are hiding, suggests that you are keeping some secret or withholding some information. You may not be facing up to a situation or dealing with some issue. However, you may be getting ready to reveal something and confess before somebody finds out. In particular, to dream that you are hiding from some authority figure (police, parent, teacher...), implies feelings of guilt.
To dream that someone is hiding, indicates that you are looking for a sense of security and protection.
Murder
To dream that you have committed a murder, indicates that you are putting an end to an old habit and a former way of thinking. This could also refer to an end to an addiction. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you have some repressed aggression or rage at yourself or at someone. Note also that dreams of murder occur frequently during periods of depression.
To dream that you witness a murder, indicates deep-seated anger towards somebody. Consider how the victim represents aspects of yourself that you want to destroy or eliminate.
Killing
To dream that you kill someone, indicates that you are on the verge of losing your temper and self-control. Consider the person you have killed and ask yourself if you feel any rage towards him or her in your waking life. Your dream may be expressing some hidden anger. Alternatively, you may be trying to kill an aspect of yourself that is represented by the person killed. Identify the characteristics of this person and ask yourself which of these qualities you are trying to put an end to.
Wednesday, 29 September 2010
Cold September Rain.
It's so rainy outside. It's so rainy and it's my day off so I don't have to go outside, there are no requirements binding me to leaving the house today, and that makes me pleased... it's horrid out there.
Apparently it's been a month if not more since my last teen angst rant and update.
It also appears that I had a birthing day during my silence.
I was off work from the 1st September until the 12th. Awesome!
I had a birthingday on the 5th and I didn't do much else other than see friends, hang around the house, go on random walks with the mother and brother and see the ol' flatmates from Dundee. It was awesome though.
I didn't make any resolutions this year, nor do I remember what my last and first songs were, it was quite the odd birthday. I did however, have TWO CAKES!!!
What was that? Two cakes? Yes TWO CAKES!
One was made by Patsy the awesome, who I am in Nursery at church with, and the other was a traditional mother cake.
Both were awesome. I'm in the process of finding my battery charger for my other camera so I can show pictures of the Patsy cake. Yes.
It was honestly one of the best weeks ever because the cakes appeared to be never ending.
The day before birthing day The Mother Brother and I went to the Queen Elizabeth Forest Park... love it. And we ended up climbing a massive steep hill. We thought we were just following the blue path, but the blue path had a great ascension. It was fun though.
I love forest.
There was another walk that we went on towards the end of my time off work, and the path led us through a loch that had dried a little and turned to a marsh, and the sun went down fairly rapidly and we were squelching about in the marsh in the dark, with my 5 year old niece who kept randomly falling over as well. She took it well though, and eventually we had to abandon the non-existence path and make for the road and walk back to the car on the road. It was crazy. It was one of those ones that is kind of scary, but totally fun. If you stood too long in the one place you started sinking as well. Needless to say we were all soaked by the time we got back to the car.
My crafting has hit an all time low, I've not made anything in a while. Although I did make some awesome heart and initial cushions for a flatwarming of a couple of friends from work. I totally forgot to take pictures though, but they were awesome I can assure you.
That flat warming because quite the event because when I left around 2ish I discovered my car had been broken into. LAME. The funny part about it was I got in the car, sat down, looked at the papers and books thrown everywhere and thought 'Oh I'm so silly, I threw my own stuff everywhere and I don't remember.' Then I continued to blame myself when I saw the passenger door unlocked, and the back seats pulled down and my spare tyre in the main portion of my car rather than in it's cave of the boot. I went to grab my seatbelt and then noticed my door. TOTALLY HEINOUS!!! Smash a window car thieves. The yanked out the entire top half of the door about 4 inches, and didn't even scratch the paint. Mental.
The cost of the damage sustained to my car was £670. My insurance company won't pay for it. So I'm currently in a state of limbo, because I was planning to sell my car when I leave I have two choices, pay for the repair and try and get it back to sellable standard, or have the insurance company pay me for the value of the car.
I got Big John and Wee John's garage (you might remember this from the welding fiasco last year and also the wee john pishing himself on the train a couple of years before that) to batter the door back in last Thursday. I wish I had taken pictures... That morning I had to drive a friend to the airport, and I was wearing a raincoat in the car to stop me getting wet. The rain was torrential and there was flooding everywhere, and I had to drive through a massive puddle and at one point my wheels were no longer touching tarmac I was actually doing a chitty chitty bang bang. Further up that same road I watched a car's engine give up and start emitting white smoke because it had been sitting in a big puddle too long, and then someone crashed into the back of him because of all the smoke. It was a complete chaotic morning, and I was soaked because of the door hanging open.
It was actually a major depressant in my life for a while because it was all I could think about. Now that it's back in place I can actually think properly and decide what to do about the door. LAME.
At first I thought the thieving gypos and stolen nothing, but then I realised they had stolen my coppers, a watch belonging to an old friend that tried to fix my brakes years ago and then left his watch behind so I've had it in the boot for 5 years, my scissors that I keep i the car for cutting the cable ties that hold my hub caps on, my wee brother's torch glasses that Jon and I brought to Stirling in January AND.... AND MY OAKLEY'S.
We should have a minute's silence for my Oakleys. Long may they reign. I loved those sunglasses.
So the moral of the story is, keep nothing in your car ever, and leave the doors unlocked. Fact.
I also spent some of my holiday trying to sell things. I sold my old goth boots, a Troll, and I cleaned my microwave from uni to sell, but no one wants it. If anyone wants an awesome microwave point them in my direction.
I've been back at work for a couple of weeks now, and it's been busy, but busy means the time passes faster.
And now, for some pictures. :)
Birthday cake made by Mother. :) This was always the cake she would make for my childhood birthdays. HAPPY!
CANDLES!!! YEAH!
Blowing Face.
More Blowing... The more blowing that happens the older you are. I think this means I'm getting pretty on in years. Jon's still older though.
Blowing out candles is also quite unattractive. MELTED FACE!
Those relighting candles. I got them to go out eventually.
Zero joining in the festivities.
Brother eating chocolate buttons.
Candles?
Birthday scrabble. YES!
The beginning of the marsh walk as the sun began to set. All of the marsh walk photos were taken by Kris, he's been borrowing my camera for his college projects.
Ghost Me.
Blurry Pamer Pie.
Such a nice shot... well done brother of mine.
The Mother and I emerging from the black.
I was showing him how to use the long shutter speed to get awesome light shots.
And he proceeded to use the long shots in the car as well on the drive home.
I think we were near a green traffic light. It looks like slimer just got sucked into the ghost busters' ghost catcher thing.
I love this one, it looks like music.
MELTED FACE. Ahhhhh!
I am the light face, all light comes from me.
Our soaking results. Mother.
Brother.
Me.
Niece. She is also missing in this picture. She was so wet she was stripped and wrapped in blankets when we got back to the car.
The Saturday my car was broken into was also Roadshow Saturday, and Glasgow ward did the Princess Bride, and although I might be slightly bias, I think it was the funniest and most awesome, and the only one that didn't have some kind of weird church reference. I'm never a fan of roadshows that have random missionaries or bishops or something appear in them. LAME. It's like a total cop out. this is Kris/Wesley climbing the impossible cliffs.
Prince Humperdink and the Six Fingered man.
The wedding ceremony of Princess Buttercup and Prince Humperdink. That is my cousin's husband as the minister, and he was very good at the speech impediment R thing.
The Spaniard and the six fingered man about to battle.
The happy ending.
THE CAR. From the inside. I honestly never noticed until i went to get my seatbelt.
Massive gap.
Sunday's game of scrabble. Wicked awesome. The Mother played, and the Brother won. The brother won birthday scrabble too. What's up with that?
And once I find my battery charger I will blog pictures of the other awesome birthday cake. :)
Apparently it's been a month if not more since my last teen angst rant and update.
It also appears that I had a birthing day during my silence.
I was off work from the 1st September until the 12th. Awesome!
I had a birthingday on the 5th and I didn't do much else other than see friends, hang around the house, go on random walks with the mother and brother and see the ol' flatmates from Dundee. It was awesome though.
I didn't make any resolutions this year, nor do I remember what my last and first songs were, it was quite the odd birthday. I did however, have TWO CAKES!!!
What was that? Two cakes? Yes TWO CAKES!
One was made by Patsy the awesome, who I am in Nursery at church with, and the other was a traditional mother cake.
Both were awesome. I'm in the process of finding my battery charger for my other camera so I can show pictures of the Patsy cake. Yes.
It was honestly one of the best weeks ever because the cakes appeared to be never ending.
The day before birthing day The Mother Brother and I went to the Queen Elizabeth Forest Park... love it. And we ended up climbing a massive steep hill. We thought we were just following the blue path, but the blue path had a great ascension. It was fun though.
I love forest.
There was another walk that we went on towards the end of my time off work, and the path led us through a loch that had dried a little and turned to a marsh, and the sun went down fairly rapidly and we were squelching about in the marsh in the dark, with my 5 year old niece who kept randomly falling over as well. She took it well though, and eventually we had to abandon the non-existence path and make for the road and walk back to the car on the road. It was crazy. It was one of those ones that is kind of scary, but totally fun. If you stood too long in the one place you started sinking as well. Needless to say we were all soaked by the time we got back to the car.
My crafting has hit an all time low, I've not made anything in a while. Although I did make some awesome heart and initial cushions for a flatwarming of a couple of friends from work. I totally forgot to take pictures though, but they were awesome I can assure you.
That flat warming because quite the event because when I left around 2ish I discovered my car had been broken into. LAME. The funny part about it was I got in the car, sat down, looked at the papers and books thrown everywhere and thought 'Oh I'm so silly, I threw my own stuff everywhere and I don't remember.' Then I continued to blame myself when I saw the passenger door unlocked, and the back seats pulled down and my spare tyre in the main portion of my car rather than in it's cave of the boot. I went to grab my seatbelt and then noticed my door. TOTALLY HEINOUS!!! Smash a window car thieves. The yanked out the entire top half of the door about 4 inches, and didn't even scratch the paint. Mental.
The cost of the damage sustained to my car was £670. My insurance company won't pay for it. So I'm currently in a state of limbo, because I was planning to sell my car when I leave I have two choices, pay for the repair and try and get it back to sellable standard, or have the insurance company pay me for the value of the car.
I got Big John and Wee John's garage (you might remember this from the welding fiasco last year and also the wee john pishing himself on the train a couple of years before that) to batter the door back in last Thursday. I wish I had taken pictures... That morning I had to drive a friend to the airport, and I was wearing a raincoat in the car to stop me getting wet. The rain was torrential and there was flooding everywhere, and I had to drive through a massive puddle and at one point my wheels were no longer touching tarmac I was actually doing a chitty chitty bang bang. Further up that same road I watched a car's engine give up and start emitting white smoke because it had been sitting in a big puddle too long, and then someone crashed into the back of him because of all the smoke. It was a complete chaotic morning, and I was soaked because of the door hanging open.
It was actually a major depressant in my life for a while because it was all I could think about. Now that it's back in place I can actually think properly and decide what to do about the door. LAME.
At first I thought the thieving gypos and stolen nothing, but then I realised they had stolen my coppers, a watch belonging to an old friend that tried to fix my brakes years ago and then left his watch behind so I've had it in the boot for 5 years, my scissors that I keep i the car for cutting the cable ties that hold my hub caps on, my wee brother's torch glasses that Jon and I brought to Stirling in January AND.... AND MY OAKLEY'S.
We should have a minute's silence for my Oakleys. Long may they reign. I loved those sunglasses.
So the moral of the story is, keep nothing in your car ever, and leave the doors unlocked. Fact.
I also spent some of my holiday trying to sell things. I sold my old goth boots, a Troll, and I cleaned my microwave from uni to sell, but no one wants it. If anyone wants an awesome microwave point them in my direction.
I've been back at work for a couple of weeks now, and it's been busy, but busy means the time passes faster.
And now, for some pictures. :)
Birthday cake made by Mother. :) This was always the cake she would make for my childhood birthdays. HAPPY!
CANDLES!!! YEAH!
Blowing Face.
More Blowing... The more blowing that happens the older you are. I think this means I'm getting pretty on in years. Jon's still older though.
Blowing out candles is also quite unattractive. MELTED FACE!
Those relighting candles. I got them to go out eventually.
Zero joining in the festivities.
Brother eating chocolate buttons.
Candles?
Birthday scrabble. YES!
The beginning of the marsh walk as the sun began to set. All of the marsh walk photos were taken by Kris, he's been borrowing my camera for his college projects.
Ghost Me.
Blurry Pamer Pie.
Such a nice shot... well done brother of mine.
The Mother and I emerging from the black.
I was showing him how to use the long shutter speed to get awesome light shots.
And he proceeded to use the long shots in the car as well on the drive home.
I think we were near a green traffic light. It looks like slimer just got sucked into the ghost busters' ghost catcher thing.
I love this one, it looks like music.
MELTED FACE. Ahhhhh!
I am the light face, all light comes from me.
Our soaking results. Mother.
Brother.
Me.
Niece. She is also missing in this picture. She was so wet she was stripped and wrapped in blankets when we got back to the car.
The Saturday my car was broken into was also Roadshow Saturday, and Glasgow ward did the Princess Bride, and although I might be slightly bias, I think it was the funniest and most awesome, and the only one that didn't have some kind of weird church reference. I'm never a fan of roadshows that have random missionaries or bishops or something appear in them. LAME. It's like a total cop out. this is Kris/Wesley climbing the impossible cliffs.
Prince Humperdink and the Six Fingered man.
The wedding ceremony of Princess Buttercup and Prince Humperdink. That is my cousin's husband as the minister, and he was very good at the speech impediment R thing.
The Spaniard and the six fingered man about to battle.
The happy ending.
THE CAR. From the inside. I honestly never noticed until i went to get my seatbelt.
Massive gap.
Sunday's game of scrabble. Wicked awesome. The Mother played, and the Brother won. The brother won birthday scrabble too. What's up with that?
And once I find my battery charger I will blog pictures of the other awesome birthday cake. :)
Wednesday, 25 August 2010
Tribal envy
So today is officially my day off. Yayy.
And I wanted to go swimming and I was thinking of getting up early to do that so I could avoid the general public at all costs, but no joy. I woke at 11 and was totally sad.
Last week when I went there were too many people. I like to not see any member of the general public on my day off. Call me crazy, but I get an overdose of them every single day that I'm at work, so I'm happy to isolate myself. :)
I've been watching a TV show called 'Can Fat Teens Hunt?' and it's been amazing, it's about 10 fat teenagers from the UK that are sent to an ancient tribe in Borneo and they have to eat rice, frogs, and other such random things that you would find in the jungle.
and they have to make their own find, find their own food, catch their own food, and cleanse their own water.
It was unreal watching some of it. So so lazy.
It was actually crazy. But I was also slightly envious of the tribe. They have their house, they aren't cold, they have each other, their entire day is based upon preparing food and finding food. That's all they have to worry about. No bills, no taxes, no car insurance, no adverts about car insurance, no actual possessions.
It was actually amazing. I am so envious. I wish there was no stress, or pressure of having to live in the west. We are all required to achieve a certain level of success if we want to have a 'good' 'happy' life, but it's all prescribed nonsense. I have no idea when or who set those rules. But it sickens me.
There could be nothing more rewarding than raring and growing your own food and being entirely self sufficient. And not being completely overloaded with images of 'happy' people on TV making you feel depressed because their lives are complete because they use X-brand washing powder. It actually makes me sick.
And even if we do have enough money to buy our food the food is completely processed and flavour enhanced and completely toxic to our bodies.
The world is a mess, and sometimes I think this is it. We're all waiting for some further huge disaster, and life changing event, but this, how the world is right now, is so far from how things should be, that it is terrifying.
I don't look forward to farming, because i'm 100% lazy to it, but I do think that if there was no financial debt to satanic companies, and no constant bombardment of products and adverts and colours, our brains would be able to just relax.
This got really heavy really quickly.
All these thoughts are based off this image
those are all the world possessions of Ghandi.
It's completely cathartic to think about.
So yeah, It's my day off, and I want to be fit and healthy but I want to not see any of the public. It makes for a difficult situation.
Here's an awesome picture of the day to be happy about:
I also watched toddler in tiaras the other night and it was sublime. I loved it, but I felt like I had to hate it at the same time. It was all about little kids in beauty pageants, just like Little Miss Sunshine. Amazing.
And I wanted to go swimming and I was thinking of getting up early to do that so I could avoid the general public at all costs, but no joy. I woke at 11 and was totally sad.
Last week when I went there were too many people. I like to not see any member of the general public on my day off. Call me crazy, but I get an overdose of them every single day that I'm at work, so I'm happy to isolate myself. :)
I've been watching a TV show called 'Can Fat Teens Hunt?' and it's been amazing, it's about 10 fat teenagers from the UK that are sent to an ancient tribe in Borneo and they have to eat rice, frogs, and other such random things that you would find in the jungle.
and they have to make their own find, find their own food, catch their own food, and cleanse their own water.
It was unreal watching some of it. So so lazy.
It was actually crazy. But I was also slightly envious of the tribe. They have their house, they aren't cold, they have each other, their entire day is based upon preparing food and finding food. That's all they have to worry about. No bills, no taxes, no car insurance, no adverts about car insurance, no actual possessions.
It was actually amazing. I am so envious. I wish there was no stress, or pressure of having to live in the west. We are all required to achieve a certain level of success if we want to have a 'good' 'happy' life, but it's all prescribed nonsense. I have no idea when or who set those rules. But it sickens me.
There could be nothing more rewarding than raring and growing your own food and being entirely self sufficient. And not being completely overloaded with images of 'happy' people on TV making you feel depressed because their lives are complete because they use X-brand washing powder. It actually makes me sick.
And even if we do have enough money to buy our food the food is completely processed and flavour enhanced and completely toxic to our bodies.
The world is a mess, and sometimes I think this is it. We're all waiting for some further huge disaster, and life changing event, but this, how the world is right now, is so far from how things should be, that it is terrifying.
I don't look forward to farming, because i'm 100% lazy to it, but I do think that if there was no financial debt to satanic companies, and no constant bombardment of products and adverts and colours, our brains would be able to just relax.
This got really heavy really quickly.
All these thoughts are based off this image
those are all the world possessions of Ghandi.
It's completely cathartic to think about.
So yeah, It's my day off, and I want to be fit and healthy but I want to not see any of the public. It makes for a difficult situation.
Here's an awesome picture of the day to be happy about:
I also watched toddler in tiaras the other night and it was sublime. I loved it, but I felt like I had to hate it at the same time. It was all about little kids in beauty pageants, just like Little Miss Sunshine. Amazing.
Neurons
I've not lifted a book or magazine in a long time. My life seems to revolve around doing crafts for weddingness because if i'm not then I think I'm holding things up. There's an odd psychology in that.
Anyway. During my sister's wedding week thing, she gave me her copy of 'The short second life of Bree Tanner' to read. Yes, I know. It was an easy read though, and it entertaining although it was purely random and completely lacking in proper story. It was like Breaking Dawn all over again, but shorter and a little more focused (because it had to tie into eclipse).
That got me interesting in actually reading again and I picked up 'Buyology' by Martin Lindstrom. I had been in Barnes and Noble in 2008 a few weeks before meeting Jon himself, and seen this book sitting on a 'new arrivals' table and I wondered why i'd never heard of it while doing masters, the whole 'new arrival' thing was lost on me.
Anyway. I started reading it. That was around the time I was going NaNoWriMo and meeting the ol' true love. So needless to say the book was shunned and nothing past 10 pages was read. I tried again on other occasions to start reading it. I even brought it back and forth to the US with me while visiting Jon, but still nothing past 10 pages was achieved.
After reading Bree Tanner, I picked it up and i'm not half way through, which I think is definitely a feat. And boy is it interesting, it's all about subliminal advertising, and what imagery is actually successful in advertising. It kind of goes into ever facet of advertising. It's good.
That in turn, led me to pick up the last issue of Adbusters I'd had posted out to me. My subscription has expired and there's no point renewing it for 3 years when my address will 100% be changing before they can send me 2 issues.
So I will bide my time and hopefully not miss and issue. I think i've been subscribing since 2006/7. I find it an enjoyable, mind-freeing read.
There was a short article, which I have discovered is part of a long long article that said:
Failure to learn new things kills neurons. People who vegetate before the TV are killing their neurons. People who never do anything new or meet anyone new are killing their neurons. People who never read or learn a new game or build a model airplane or cook up a new recipe or learn a new language are killing their neurons. Mind you, many middle-aged professionals are killing their neurons. They’re doing what they are good at, what they already know, what they learned to do years ago. They’re pursuing careers, raising children, cooking dinner, returning phone calls, reading the newspaper. They are busy and accomplished, but they are not learning anything new. If you are not learning anything new, you are killing your neurons. To keep your neurons, learn something new every day. Begin now. Doing so requires no particular genius.
This actually terrified me.
I am killing my brain by just being stagnant and not progressing myself nor my brain.
I also found it interesting because I have very little desire to do the design work that I am 'supposed' to. The design work that is expected by a branded society, the website, the business card, etc. That's all someone else's idea of design and branding, and I find it so hard to be motivated to design within the confines of someone else's long-ago made decision.
The passage above gives me a bit more insight into why, my brain must be absolutely gagging for me to not rest on any laurels and push it to new levels. But I'm far too lazy for that these days. But I think that's why I've latched onto the extreme over load of crafting and wedding planning because it's something new and something i've never done before.
It's not that I think i'm the best designer ever and i've reached the pinnacle of design, far from it, but my brain has tired of doing it, and wants to try out new things.
Perhaps i'm shoe horning excuses into my own lack of interest. But it seems to make sense.
Everything that I need to do before moving to the US just seems bitterly dull, like selling things, and packing things. And it's because i've done it before. There's no learning in it. There's just remembering how to do it, and redoing it over and over again.
Even when it comes to crafting once i've learned how to do one specific thing I move on and do something else even although an abundance of the original thing is required, i'd rather make something new.
Maybe I have a short attention span, and in fact, this is a bad quality. I've found that with hobbies throughout my whole life, I tend to give up on things quickly because I know the basics and I have no desire to perfect it.
So there must be a balance, between continuing to do what you know until it's perfect, and desiring to learn new things. Hopefully i'll find that soon otherwise nothing will ever get done. :)
Anyway. During my sister's wedding week thing, she gave me her copy of 'The short second life of Bree Tanner' to read. Yes, I know. It was an easy read though, and it entertaining although it was purely random and completely lacking in proper story. It was like Breaking Dawn all over again, but shorter and a little more focused (because it had to tie into eclipse).
That got me interesting in actually reading again and I picked up 'Buyology' by Martin Lindstrom. I had been in Barnes and Noble in 2008 a few weeks before meeting Jon himself, and seen this book sitting on a 'new arrivals' table and I wondered why i'd never heard of it while doing masters, the whole 'new arrival' thing was lost on me.
Anyway. I started reading it. That was around the time I was going NaNoWriMo and meeting the ol' true love. So needless to say the book was shunned and nothing past 10 pages was read. I tried again on other occasions to start reading it. I even brought it back and forth to the US with me while visiting Jon, but still nothing past 10 pages was achieved.
After reading Bree Tanner, I picked it up and i'm not half way through, which I think is definitely a feat. And boy is it interesting, it's all about subliminal advertising, and what imagery is actually successful in advertising. It kind of goes into ever facet of advertising. It's good.
That in turn, led me to pick up the last issue of Adbusters I'd had posted out to me. My subscription has expired and there's no point renewing it for 3 years when my address will 100% be changing before they can send me 2 issues.
So I will bide my time and hopefully not miss and issue. I think i've been subscribing since 2006/7. I find it an enjoyable, mind-freeing read.
There was a short article, which I have discovered is part of a long long article that said:
Failure to learn new things kills neurons. People who vegetate before the TV are killing their neurons. People who never do anything new or meet anyone new are killing their neurons. People who never read or learn a new game or build a model airplane or cook up a new recipe or learn a new language are killing their neurons. Mind you, many middle-aged professionals are killing their neurons. They’re doing what they are good at, what they already know, what they learned to do years ago. They’re pursuing careers, raising children, cooking dinner, returning phone calls, reading the newspaper. They are busy and accomplished, but they are not learning anything new. If you are not learning anything new, you are killing your neurons. To keep your neurons, learn something new every day. Begin now. Doing so requires no particular genius.
This actually terrified me.
I am killing my brain by just being stagnant and not progressing myself nor my brain.
I also found it interesting because I have very little desire to do the design work that I am 'supposed' to. The design work that is expected by a branded society, the website, the business card, etc. That's all someone else's idea of design and branding, and I find it so hard to be motivated to design within the confines of someone else's long-ago made decision.
The passage above gives me a bit more insight into why, my brain must be absolutely gagging for me to not rest on any laurels and push it to new levels. But I'm far too lazy for that these days. But I think that's why I've latched onto the extreme over load of crafting and wedding planning because it's something new and something i've never done before.
It's not that I think i'm the best designer ever and i've reached the pinnacle of design, far from it, but my brain has tired of doing it, and wants to try out new things.
Perhaps i'm shoe horning excuses into my own lack of interest. But it seems to make sense.
Everything that I need to do before moving to the US just seems bitterly dull, like selling things, and packing things. And it's because i've done it before. There's no learning in it. There's just remembering how to do it, and redoing it over and over again.
Even when it comes to crafting once i've learned how to do one specific thing I move on and do something else even although an abundance of the original thing is required, i'd rather make something new.
Maybe I have a short attention span, and in fact, this is a bad quality. I've found that with hobbies throughout my whole life, I tend to give up on things quickly because I know the basics and I have no desire to perfect it.
So there must be a balance, between continuing to do what you know until it's perfect, and desiring to learn new things. Hopefully i'll find that soon otherwise nothing will ever get done. :)
111
I have a playlist that makes and updates itself. It is based on the top 111 songs that I listen to. The least listened to song has been played over 40 times, so the playlist is pretty competitive to get on to if you are a new song.
I've been listening to said playlist recently and a couple of songs cropped up that gave me the warm fuzzies.
Going Nowhere by Cut Copy
Japan by CocoRosie (just the first 30 seconds of this)
This is their cute little faces actually singing it... Gosh I love them. I saw them once in concert, but the night was terrible because some random and her friends ruined it by talking really loudly the whole way through. It was so stupid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HprRr_LxBFA
(embedding was disabled on this video)
So. Both of these songs were on the phone I had to buy while I was in Utah in 2007 because my own phone couldn't handle the sim card being switched over. It still can't, it gives me a lot of fuss, but I had to buy this to make my social life easier. :)
Seriously, those seven weeks are still, possibly the best ever. The pure freedom, the independence of living in Otto's attic and getting the trax to whole foods or the temple. It was actually sublime.
The cocorosie song was my ring tone (just the first 30 seconds), so everytime I hear it I think of one of the newly made friends at the time calling me.
And the Cut Copy track was my alarm clock. So I associate it, always, with waking up and having an adventure to go on. It never became a burden to be woken up.
Gosh it was actually so amazing.
It's not because of any particular thing or person, it was the whole experience, properly being on my own, somewhere so utterly far away, and having to sink or swim.
I hacked into the neighbour's wifi and was at least able to navigate my way around the city, and find swimming pools, and go to institute, and just have an all around whale of a time. Then Antoinette was there, and it was awesomer, and oh my it was just insane with awesomeness.
And we snuck up on Marcus and appeared on his doorstep, and had crazy hallowe'en shenanigans, and I drove on the wrong side of the road for ages, and it was always so warm, and autumny.
Huge sigh. It was actually amazing.
Slight overkill with the reminiscing. Every other trip after that wasn't the same because i'd done it before. There's just something completely exhilarating about doing something completely for the first time and not knowing if you can do it.
I've been listening to said playlist recently and a couple of songs cropped up that gave me the warm fuzzies.
Going Nowhere by Cut Copy
Japan by CocoRosie (just the first 30 seconds of this)
This is their cute little faces actually singing it... Gosh I love them. I saw them once in concert, but the night was terrible because some random and her friends ruined it by talking really loudly the whole way through. It was so stupid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HprRr_LxBFA
(embedding was disabled on this video)
So. Both of these songs were on the phone I had to buy while I was in Utah in 2007 because my own phone couldn't handle the sim card being switched over. It still can't, it gives me a lot of fuss, but I had to buy this to make my social life easier. :)
Seriously, those seven weeks are still, possibly the best ever. The pure freedom, the independence of living in Otto's attic and getting the trax to whole foods or the temple. It was actually sublime.
The cocorosie song was my ring tone (just the first 30 seconds), so everytime I hear it I think of one of the newly made friends at the time calling me.
And the Cut Copy track was my alarm clock. So I associate it, always, with waking up and having an adventure to go on. It never became a burden to be woken up.
Gosh it was actually so amazing.
It's not because of any particular thing or person, it was the whole experience, properly being on my own, somewhere so utterly far away, and having to sink or swim.
I hacked into the neighbour's wifi and was at least able to navigate my way around the city, and find swimming pools, and go to institute, and just have an all around whale of a time. Then Antoinette was there, and it was awesomer, and oh my it was just insane with awesomeness.
And we snuck up on Marcus and appeared on his doorstep, and had crazy hallowe'en shenanigans, and I drove on the wrong side of the road for ages, and it was always so warm, and autumny.
Huge sigh. It was actually amazing.
Slight overkill with the reminiscing. Every other trip after that wasn't the same because i'd done it before. There's just something completely exhilarating about doing something completely for the first time and not knowing if you can do it.
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