Holla' attcha. That's my Gwen Stefani gig for the day.
I was thinking today about a few different things. It started when I finished work and went for 'coffee' with Claire. Coffee being me drinking a cinnamon steamer and eating a pretty cupcake.
I was talking to Claire about a guy she's half dating and half not and she doesn't know if she likes him or if he likes her, so she was going to try and up the affection level and see where it takes her.
She was thinking of inviting her to her house to watch movies or some TV and I then I said 'Ohhh and when you are there you can try out the 'fight over the remote and I end up holding your hand thing'' then I got the warm fuzzies, because I was remembering the first time Jon held my hand:
Date numero dos.
We were sitting on his black couch after watching bolt and eating at Cafe Trang, which was awesome. And we were looking up an instruction manual for setting up his TV to make it work. He'd moved house just a couple of days before. I remember we were both looking over the iPhone screen and he clicked on a link and we were both crossing our fingers and then he reached over and grabbed my crossed fingers hand.
I actually have the lamest grin thinking about it. I was so into him, and I had no idea if he was even bothered or if he just wanted the novelty of hanging out with a Scottish person.
Happy moment.
After thinking this thought Claire and I parted ways and I was thinking about other AMAZING feelings that I never want to forget.
The day I got into Art School is one.
I was working at a hotel and started at 7am and finished at 12. I was running late that day. One of the few days I was ever late for that job. It was after 8 (Yes I was really late) and I was sitting on the train and my mum called me. I had no idea why she would be calling me. So I answered. She told me I had mail from Duncan of Jordanstone and did I want her to open it or just wait until I came home. After milling over the thought I told her to open it. As she was she jokingly said 'It says they're just reviewing your application' (weeks earlier I'd received a letter from Safeway — a supermarket — telling me my recent job application was being reviewed again, and that was it... weird). I thought she was being serious and my heart sank and then she was like 'just kidding it was a joke because of Safeway.' Then she went quiet and I could literally hear her reading. She then told me that i'd been accepted. I have no idea how big my grin was. It was huge. I called my best friend at the time, heather, and spoke to her all the way walking up to work in the dead dead streets of Glasgow. They're always empty and it's errily beautiful walking through town with empty quiet streets. The only people around are going to work or going home from a long long party. It's like there was a bustle of life then it just faded away with the sun committing to rise. I haven't done it in a while, but it's nice.
Anyway. Getting into art school was one of the best feelings ever.
I'll hopefully think of more, because there has to be more, I can't just have two.
Actually, the total kick of adrenaline while being proposed to, that's something to never forget.
The day I won the lottery would be another, but that's not happened.... yet :):):)
Saturday, 27 March 2010
Wednesday, 24 March 2010
Chai Tea Message
My recent discovery of a box of Chai Redbush in a cupboard has been amazing.
Tonight I just got the message 'Let your heart guide you.'
I got that message from the Chai Tea last January after I made the decision to stay in Salt Lake until March rather than go home at the end of January. It was a good decision although it was difficult to make and difficult to accept, but it was worth it once the pressure of making a decision was gone.
I remember getting the message and feeling a small sense of relief that I was making the right choice, because love is rare. Although it doesn't seem that way to those who are married already, but those who are single will know and understand how rare reciprocated love has become, especially that which is seeped in genuine intentions and loyalty.
I liked getting the message again. Because I am and I shall let my heart guide me. :)
Tonight I just got the message 'Let your heart guide you.'
I got that message from the Chai Tea last January after I made the decision to stay in Salt Lake until March rather than go home at the end of January. It was a good decision although it was difficult to make and difficult to accept, but it was worth it once the pressure of making a decision was gone.
I remember getting the message and feeling a small sense of relief that I was making the right choice, because love is rare. Although it doesn't seem that way to those who are married already, but those who are single will know and understand how rare reciprocated love has become, especially that which is seeped in genuine intentions and loyalty.
I liked getting the message again. Because I am and I shall let my heart guide me. :)
Tuesday, 23 March 2010
Bronconious
I've become addicted to Gentlemen Broncos.
Jon says I can't like a movie because of it's soundtrack.
If there's one thing I've learned from being awesome and studying design stuff, it's that a brand is made up of all the elements of it's advertising: size, colours, imagery, characters, emotional ties, and MUSIC.
:)
So are movies. A movie is everything from character, script, humour, story, and amazing music as well as viewing experience, and viewing company.
The two songs I'm currently loving because of the movie are:
and
Jon says I can't like a movie because of it's soundtrack.
If there's one thing I've learned from being awesome and studying design stuff, it's that a brand is made up of all the elements of it's advertising: size, colours, imagery, characters, emotional ties, and MUSIC.
:)
So are movies. A movie is everything from character, script, humour, story, and amazing music as well as viewing experience, and viewing company.
The two songs I'm currently loving because of the movie are:
and
Rock and Roll
For some reason I have been plagued with the overwhelming to punch dance or power dance to this:
Growing Up
The past few months have not been easy.
The past few weeks have had Antoinette back in them.
Although i've not got to see her that much, the times I have seen her have been good.
We were meant to hang about tonight for a short hot chocolate time, but it didn't happen. She sent me a message that made me ponder for a short time about myself.
Over the past few months I seem to have become withdrawn, quiet, and introverted. My social skills and my friend skills are lacking, and any conversation I do have seems to always centre around Jon/immigration/wedding and that's about it. There's nothing else happening, there's nothing else going on in my head.
It's been two years since my hurtful, horrid, mini-breakdown where I swore I would start doing more things. It lasted for a bit, but weather prohibits skateboard learning, and money prohibits violin, and the desire to plan a wedding as much as I can because I have no idea when it will be and I don't want to get behind then have to wait months while I 'plan' prohibits writing, and cinema, and leaving the house, and spending and saving all my money on debts, immigration or wedding prohibits everything else in between — even driving.
Speaking of driving, someone backed into my car and burst the metal... maybe I mentioned that. I can't remember. It was the start to an evening that ended in my spewing my load.
I'm waiting for life to happen, and it's not good. I think I fear living though, because to live without constantly thinking of Jon or preparing for my life with him would mean moving on from him, and I don't want that to happen. I know that if I keep things the way they are then our relationship won't suffer any more than it's already suffering. But if I start doing other things I will get distracted from the goal. NOT HEALTHY. I can hear you shout. But it's hard. It's difficult difficult lemon difficult. And that's all I can say about it.
Anyway. It got me thinking Toni's message, about how abysmal my self-centred thoughts have been. I've not really put any effort into maintaining our relationship, and while she's been here I've been passive and let her do what she needed to do and see who she needed to see without me being in the way. I got to see her last summer and be at her wedding all the other Scottish peoples didn't. So I figured it was their turn. Or was I actually just being self-focused and living in my box and not pushing the hanging out.
I remember seeing an advert on TV once with Lorraine that said you'll have hundreds of friends in your lifetime but only six that are constant. I remember her saying that she hoped I was one of her six. I've let that relationship fizzle.
I don't like growing up. This is the stuff grown ups deal with. My mum doesn't really have many friends. If any. All her time is about work, or tidying the house, or looking after and running after all three of her needy ass kids. I don't want to grow up.
I remember when I used to think about growing up, or 'dressing like a girl/lady' or behaving differently I would get this feeling in my gut like I was losing something, or saddening my mother because she was losing something. It was odd. I still get it every now and then. Not often, but on occasion it comes back.
I've still got no idea what it was: fear, change, sadness, nerves, emotional attachment to my mother in some kind of warped single parent Fraud theory of Oedipus.
I wish I afforded myself time to read and think and develop my theory brain again. My entire career looks like mush. Difficult year. Difficult year.
There's time though, and that's one thing i've learned is that time is an enemy and a friend. When we are young so many things happen at once. We are told to go to school, go to university and get a good job. That seems like a whole lifetime. In fact it's just the beginning, there's so much time to do other things and see other places, and change jobs and experience new things. Just because the 'plan' drilled into our minds when we were young has expired doesn't mean we have. That's why we have a planet of young late twenty to forty year olds all claiming they are old, because the way school and 'the social plan' works once you're finished university you're done with life.
That was a random thought.
I miss being crazy and fun. I miss laughing. I don't want to grow up. So hopefully once this hurdle is climbed I can be me again. Although then I will have a whole new set of worries and sadness and miss. I will miss the Mary and the Donna and the Eilidh and all the various flatmates. And the family. Them will I miss. And my mum is planning on moving, so it's not like I will ever be coming back to here, in the same environment. It's difficult to get my head around.
Anyway.
Worry of this week is the cat.
The way i've been wedding planning is to move the cat when I move, which would be a week or less after the pre-wedding in Glasgow, and then get married after a week of being in the US. Where does cat care come into that. BAH.
How can we destination wedding and honeymoon days after moving a cat 5000 miles and traumatising her when her entire life has been lived in one house. Well entire life bar 5 weeks. I took her Dundee once, for a week, and she hid in a bag the whole time. She's the scardiest cat I know, and putting her in cat care would end her. I think she would die of stress as well as be the meanest cat in the world.
Gosh, this is what grown up is. Dealing with cats.
I just can't think of a way to work it out other than leave her and get her the next time I come back. But I think that would be hard. She and I run in a pack. She hates when I leave her, and the easiest way would be me with her constantly through the whole travelling process, the leaving process and the settling process. Sigh. So many things to think about.
Today I lost motivation for making flowers. I'm so utterly bored of the same old same old with no change. Not even an interview date.
I watched Glee tonight and I've decided that the target audience is definitely gay males and people that loved watching 24. The story line isn't that great. It's very back and forth, I've still got no idea what I want to happen in the story, and the singing is getting a little boring. But for some reason I can't miss an episode.
At least I'm not sick.
The past few weeks have had Antoinette back in them.
Although i've not got to see her that much, the times I have seen her have been good.
We were meant to hang about tonight for a short hot chocolate time, but it didn't happen. She sent me a message that made me ponder for a short time about myself.
Over the past few months I seem to have become withdrawn, quiet, and introverted. My social skills and my friend skills are lacking, and any conversation I do have seems to always centre around Jon/immigration/wedding and that's about it. There's nothing else happening, there's nothing else going on in my head.
It's been two years since my hurtful, horrid, mini-breakdown where I swore I would start doing more things. It lasted for a bit, but weather prohibits skateboard learning, and money prohibits violin, and the desire to plan a wedding as much as I can because I have no idea when it will be and I don't want to get behind then have to wait months while I 'plan' prohibits writing, and cinema, and leaving the house, and spending and saving all my money on debts, immigration or wedding prohibits everything else in between — even driving.
Speaking of driving, someone backed into my car and burst the metal... maybe I mentioned that. I can't remember. It was the start to an evening that ended in my spewing my load.
I'm waiting for life to happen, and it's not good. I think I fear living though, because to live without constantly thinking of Jon or preparing for my life with him would mean moving on from him, and I don't want that to happen. I know that if I keep things the way they are then our relationship won't suffer any more than it's already suffering. But if I start doing other things I will get distracted from the goal. NOT HEALTHY. I can hear you shout. But it's hard. It's difficult difficult lemon difficult. And that's all I can say about it.
Anyway. It got me thinking Toni's message, about how abysmal my self-centred thoughts have been. I've not really put any effort into maintaining our relationship, and while she's been here I've been passive and let her do what she needed to do and see who she needed to see without me being in the way. I got to see her last summer and be at her wedding all the other Scottish peoples didn't. So I figured it was their turn. Or was I actually just being self-focused and living in my box and not pushing the hanging out.
I remember seeing an advert on TV once with Lorraine that said you'll have hundreds of friends in your lifetime but only six that are constant. I remember her saying that she hoped I was one of her six. I've let that relationship fizzle.
I don't like growing up. This is the stuff grown ups deal with. My mum doesn't really have many friends. If any. All her time is about work, or tidying the house, or looking after and running after all three of her needy ass kids. I don't want to grow up.
I remember when I used to think about growing up, or 'dressing like a girl/lady' or behaving differently I would get this feeling in my gut like I was losing something, or saddening my mother because she was losing something. It was odd. I still get it every now and then. Not often, but on occasion it comes back.
I've still got no idea what it was: fear, change, sadness, nerves, emotional attachment to my mother in some kind of warped single parent Fraud theory of Oedipus.
I wish I afforded myself time to read and think and develop my theory brain again. My entire career looks like mush. Difficult year. Difficult year.
There's time though, and that's one thing i've learned is that time is an enemy and a friend. When we are young so many things happen at once. We are told to go to school, go to university and get a good job. That seems like a whole lifetime. In fact it's just the beginning, there's so much time to do other things and see other places, and change jobs and experience new things. Just because the 'plan' drilled into our minds when we were young has expired doesn't mean we have. That's why we have a planet of young late twenty to forty year olds all claiming they are old, because the way school and 'the social plan' works once you're finished university you're done with life.
That was a random thought.
I miss being crazy and fun. I miss laughing. I don't want to grow up. So hopefully once this hurdle is climbed I can be me again. Although then I will have a whole new set of worries and sadness and miss. I will miss the Mary and the Donna and the Eilidh and all the various flatmates. And the family. Them will I miss. And my mum is planning on moving, so it's not like I will ever be coming back to here, in the same environment. It's difficult to get my head around.
Anyway.
Worry of this week is the cat.
The way i've been wedding planning is to move the cat when I move, which would be a week or less after the pre-wedding in Glasgow, and then get married after a week of being in the US. Where does cat care come into that. BAH.
How can we destination wedding and honeymoon days after moving a cat 5000 miles and traumatising her when her entire life has been lived in one house. Well entire life bar 5 weeks. I took her Dundee once, for a week, and she hid in a bag the whole time. She's the scardiest cat I know, and putting her in cat care would end her. I think she would die of stress as well as be the meanest cat in the world.
Gosh, this is what grown up is. Dealing with cats.
I just can't think of a way to work it out other than leave her and get her the next time I come back. But I think that would be hard. She and I run in a pack. She hates when I leave her, and the easiest way would be me with her constantly through the whole travelling process, the leaving process and the settling process. Sigh. So many things to think about.
Today I lost motivation for making flowers. I'm so utterly bored of the same old same old with no change. Not even an interview date.
I watched Glee tonight and I've decided that the target audience is definitely gay males and people that loved watching 24. The story line isn't that great. It's very back and forth, I've still got no idea what I want to happen in the story, and the singing is getting a little boring. But for some reason I can't miss an episode.
At least I'm not sick.
Zero Mathematics
One of my most recent past times has been coming home from working and lying on bed with cat contemplating random things.
The other day I started doing some mathematics.
I was working out that the cat is 4 years and 8 months old.
In human years that's multiplied by 5 making her over 20.
On her birthday on July 9th she will be 25.
On my birthday I will be 27.
I also worked out that the cat ages one year for every 2.4 months. 0.4 = 12 days.
I then estimated that the cat and I would be a similar age around the end of this year, with her overtaking me before 2011 started.
Shortly after she would be older than Jon.
I'm going to do the exact maths and work out when that day is.
25 years on 9th July
26 year on 21st September
27 years on 3rd December
28 years on 15th February
29 years on 27th April
Actually this is inaccurate. I think we'll have to count days rather than months and days.
Okay start again.
Every 73 days the cat ages one year.
26 years 20th September
27 years 2nd December
28 years 13th February
29 Years 27th April
30 Years 9th July
Weird, the first time was pretty accurate.
Anyway.
On 2nd of december I will be 27 years and 88 days old.
The cat ages, in theory 5 days for every 1 of our days if she ages 5 years for every one of our years. I'll calculate that to make sure.
365/73 = 5
Bang on.
If I had the ability to make a graph this would be easier.
3rd December
Zero: 27 years 5 days
Vikki: 27 years 89 days
4th December
Zero: 27 years 10 days
Vikki: 27 years 90 days
5th December
Zero: 27 years 15 days
Vikki: 27 years 91 days
6th December
Zero: 27 years 20 days
Vikki: 27 years 92 days
7th December
Zero: 27 years 25 days
Vikki: 27 years 93 days
8th December
Zero: 27 years 30 days
Vikki: 27 years 94 days
9th December
Zero: 27 years 35 days
Vikki: 27 years 95 days
10th December
Zero: 27 years 40 days
Vikki: 27 years 96 days
10th December
Zero: 27 years 45 days
Vikki: 27 years 97 days
11th December
Zero: 27 years 50 days
Vikki: 27 years 98 days
12th December
Zero: 27 years 55 days
Vikki: 27 years 99 days
13th December
Zero: 27 years 60 days
Vikki: 27 years 100 days
14th December
Zero: 27 years 65 days
Vikki: 27 years 101 days
15th December
Zero: 27 years 70 days
Vikki: 27 years 102 days
16th December
Zero: 27 years 75 days
Vikki: 27 years 103 days
17th December
Zero: 27 years 80 days
Vikki: 27 years 104 days
18th December
Zero: 27 years 85 days
Vikki: 27 years 105 days
19th December
Zero: 27 years 90 days
Vikki: 27 years 106 days
20th December
Zero: 27 years 95 days
Vikki: 27 years 107 days
21st December
Zero: 27 years 100 days
Vikki: 27 years 108 days
22nd December
Zero: 27 years 105 days
Vikki: 27 years 109 days
23rd December
Zero: 27 years 110 days
Vikki: 27 years 110 days
And that's what makes time travel possible.
On the 23rd of December Zero and I will be the same age... I'm sure for just a minute because her day is 24/5 hours long. But that's a bit too tedious even for me.
That's also the day Joseph Smith was born. Coincidence. I think not. Zero was sent by God, although she is evil on some occasions, but I'm sure it's for a purpose.
The other day I started doing some mathematics.
I was working out that the cat is 4 years and 8 months old.
In human years that's multiplied by 5 making her over 20.
On her birthday on July 9th she will be 25.
On my birthday I will be 27.
I also worked out that the cat ages one year for every 2.4 months. 0.4 = 12 days.
I then estimated that the cat and I would be a similar age around the end of this year, with her overtaking me before 2011 started.
Shortly after she would be older than Jon.
I'm going to do the exact maths and work out when that day is.
25 years on 9th July
26 year on 21st September
27 years on 3rd December
28 years on 15th February
29 years on 27th April
Actually this is inaccurate. I think we'll have to count days rather than months and days.
Okay start again.
Every 73 days the cat ages one year.
26 years 20th September
27 years 2nd December
28 years 13th February
29 Years 27th April
30 Years 9th July
Weird, the first time was pretty accurate.
Anyway.
On 2nd of december I will be 27 years and 88 days old.
The cat ages, in theory 5 days for every 1 of our days if she ages 5 years for every one of our years. I'll calculate that to make sure.
365/73 = 5
Bang on.
If I had the ability to make a graph this would be easier.
3rd December
Zero: 27 years 5 days
Vikki: 27 years 89 days
4th December
Zero: 27 years 10 days
Vikki: 27 years 90 days
5th December
Zero: 27 years 15 days
Vikki: 27 years 91 days
6th December
Zero: 27 years 20 days
Vikki: 27 years 92 days
7th December
Zero: 27 years 25 days
Vikki: 27 years 93 days
8th December
Zero: 27 years 30 days
Vikki: 27 years 94 days
9th December
Zero: 27 years 35 days
Vikki: 27 years 95 days
10th December
Zero: 27 years 40 days
Vikki: 27 years 96 days
10th December
Zero: 27 years 45 days
Vikki: 27 years 97 days
11th December
Zero: 27 years 50 days
Vikki: 27 years 98 days
12th December
Zero: 27 years 55 days
Vikki: 27 years 99 days
13th December
Zero: 27 years 60 days
Vikki: 27 years 100 days
14th December
Zero: 27 years 65 days
Vikki: 27 years 101 days
15th December
Zero: 27 years 70 days
Vikki: 27 years 102 days
16th December
Zero: 27 years 75 days
Vikki: 27 years 103 days
17th December
Zero: 27 years 80 days
Vikki: 27 years 104 days
18th December
Zero: 27 years 85 days
Vikki: 27 years 105 days
19th December
Zero: 27 years 90 days
Vikki: 27 years 106 days
20th December
Zero: 27 years 95 days
Vikki: 27 years 107 days
21st December
Zero: 27 years 100 days
Vikki: 27 years 108 days
22nd December
Zero: 27 years 105 days
Vikki: 27 years 109 days
23rd December
Zero: 27 years 110 days
Vikki: 27 years 110 days
And that's what makes time travel possible.
On the 23rd of December Zero and I will be the same age... I'm sure for just a minute because her day is 24/5 hours long. But that's a bit too tedious even for me.
That's also the day Joseph Smith was born. Coincidence. I think not. Zero was sent by God, although she is evil on some occasions, but I'm sure it's for a purpose.
Saturday, 20 March 2010
Ring a Ding Ding 2
So, on the pursuit for a ring, I came across some interesting things.
A Posy ring is one of those interesting things. Apparently in times of betrothal and arranged marriages people would give each other posy rings as a sign of their secret love for each other. It was quite the sentiment.
I came across this on ebay:
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=400105719841&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT
This ring is about 300 years old or something, which is kind of crazy. I absolutely loved the engraving:
"I love and like my choice."
My most amazing find this week is this:
Which yet again is an ebay treasure.
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280479405857&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT
There's something about the hand carved tiffany logo, and the script written date that just blow my mind. I love typography, it's true. That is an honest fact about Vikki Miller Queen of the World.. she loves typography. In fact, I want a headstone that says something to that effect and you better believe the font, and the leading and the kerning better be perfect on it. I would also appreciate hand carving and skill in carving my name out of stone :)
Even although I have a ring, which I know I will love, it's hard for me to stop looking to see what else is out there. For a time after getting married, my friend Skillso Millso was still in wedding hunting mode, looking at wedding things, and still planning a 'what I would and should have done wedding.' That's already happening to me. Although I know there are certain things I will not budge on... Like my most awesome and amazing dress. Seriously it rocks.
My petticoat was delivered today but I missed the postman by 4 minutes, gutted. So I might have to get it in the morning if i'm up early enough to shower and get to the post office and catch the train for work.
I started work on my jacket guy last night, my mum and I were making a 'mock up' to work out any pattern kinks, and she even let me sew some of the cuff, awesome. I managed to mess it up, loosen the seam, cause a thread jam, and scald the fabric with an iron, so I suggested that when it come to making the real thing I have no part in it. She smiled at me... which was to say 'I love you daughter of mine, you have great skill in many things, but yes, you are right, you shouldn't touch the real thing.'
Vizzle my mizzle miller is tired. I should go to bed.
Today in Apple my friend Lee and I were discussing the awesome of having an Mc Surname, because it is my future and his present. And then he remarked... it will be cool because you will be V McD... which is what I said many months ago. The death of Vizzle M will spawn Veeeeee McDeeeee the newest rapper name on the block. Vizzle M will have come back tours though. I can guarantee it.
A Posy ring is one of those interesting things. Apparently in times of betrothal and arranged marriages people would give each other posy rings as a sign of their secret love for each other. It was quite the sentiment.
I came across this on ebay:
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=400105719841&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT
This ring is about 300 years old or something, which is kind of crazy. I absolutely loved the engraving:
"I love and like my choice."
My most amazing find this week is this:
Which yet again is an ebay treasure.
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280479405857&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT
There's something about the hand carved tiffany logo, and the script written date that just blow my mind. I love typography, it's true. That is an honest fact about Vikki Miller Queen of the World.. she loves typography. In fact, I want a headstone that says something to that effect and you better believe the font, and the leading and the kerning better be perfect on it. I would also appreciate hand carving and skill in carving my name out of stone :)
Even although I have a ring, which I know I will love, it's hard for me to stop looking to see what else is out there. For a time after getting married, my friend Skillso Millso was still in wedding hunting mode, looking at wedding things, and still planning a 'what I would and should have done wedding.' That's already happening to me. Although I know there are certain things I will not budge on... Like my most awesome and amazing dress. Seriously it rocks.
My petticoat was delivered today but I missed the postman by 4 minutes, gutted. So I might have to get it in the morning if i'm up early enough to shower and get to the post office and catch the train for work.
I started work on my jacket guy last night, my mum and I were making a 'mock up' to work out any pattern kinks, and she even let me sew some of the cuff, awesome. I managed to mess it up, loosen the seam, cause a thread jam, and scald the fabric with an iron, so I suggested that when it come to making the real thing I have no part in it. She smiled at me... which was to say 'I love you daughter of mine, you have great skill in many things, but yes, you are right, you shouldn't touch the real thing.'
Vizzle my mizzle miller is tired. I should go to bed.
Today in Apple my friend Lee and I were discussing the awesome of having an Mc Surname, because it is my future and his present. And then he remarked... it will be cool because you will be V McD... which is what I said many months ago. The death of Vizzle M will spawn Veeeeee McDeeeee the newest rapper name on the block. Vizzle M will have come back tours though. I can guarantee it.
Clean Sheets
Last night I changed the sheets on my bed. I also took the second quilt off. my quilt it awesome because it's two, and in the winter you use both to have a super thick quilt, then in the autumn and spring you use the heavier of the two on it's own, then in the summer use the thinnest on it's own. So now, I am in spring quilt time.
My sleep last night was amazing. I woke up feeling so happy and I think it was because I was smelling the sheets all night, and stayed at the right temperature, and didn't have to fight the blanket falling down the side of my bed, which happened when it was really heavy.
The cat loved the sheet change more than me. Once they were changed she got on up there and stayed on them all evening, and into the night. I wouldn't usually let her on clean sheets before I'd used them, but she looked so happy and content that I couldn't move her. I think she had the best sleep of her life as well.
Pleased.
My sleep last night was amazing. I woke up feeling so happy and I think it was because I was smelling the sheets all night, and stayed at the right temperature, and didn't have to fight the blanket falling down the side of my bed, which happened when it was really heavy.
The cat loved the sheet change more than me. Once they were changed she got on up there and stayed on them all evening, and into the night. I wouldn't usually let her on clean sheets before I'd used them, but she looked so happy and content that I couldn't move her. I think she had the best sleep of her life as well.
Pleased.
Saturday, 13 March 2010
Nom Nom Nom
The other day it was my 26th and half birthday. I think it was last friday. I forgot to mention it on here, but I was talking about it all day at work and in general life. I think I even told a few customers.
So today I am 26th and a half and one week. I am now closer to 27 than I ever was before. But that's true of every day. I'm not age obsessed by any means, I'm not bothered about ageing rapidly. I think it's because I had a sudden perspective overhaul a year or so ago. Around the time I bought a skateboard and went by the slogan 'I can do anything I want, no matter how old I am, I can learn new things.' Needless to say, that motto hasn't really lasted too long, or rather, it's not as ambitious as it once was. Mark my words though, I will skateboard one day, and on that day I will officially be Marty McFly.
I think the fact that I am engaged and will be getting married at some point before I'm 28, I feel okay about ageing. Definitely.
This evening I made two felt flowers and one really big 5meter ribbon and cute paper bunting thing. It was pretty wicked, Kris even helped out for a bit, he's been itching to have someone teach him how to knit so he can help. Bless his intentions. He has a short attention span though, so his help was short lived but greatly appreciated.
I had a story, but forgot to mention it the other night, I phoned Jon instead of blogging.
I was on the train and I was sitting in a four seat: four seats, two opposite each other. I was sitting in by the window facing, otherwise I vomit, and there was a business looking man diagonal across from me so we weren't knee touching. Both of us were reading newspapers. Our symmetrical difference, other than the obvious physical ones, was that he was eating a Snickers bar and I wasn't.
It was in his hand, resting on his knee closest to me, and I thought, if I were to bend over and take a bite (which I could do with a lot of ease) what would he do?
I wish I had.
It would have been good. I think the only thing stopping me was that I could see where his teeth had left saliva as he'd taken his last bite. Slevs are the enemy. I'd already made eye contact and smiled at him earlier when the ticket man had come by. There's something about apple that makes me a bit more pleasant with the general public. I tend to smile at them randomly, as if I'm still working.
During training at apple I used to always say that there were a lot of similarities to the church. One of which is that I'm a representative of Apple always. To anyone that knows where I work, I become the face of apple in everything I do — to the people that know. So I think that's why I get all smiley in public I think.
Anyway.
The conclusion of this story is that moments after wanting to eat this man's chocolate I flipped to the 'cartoon strips' at the back of the paper and saw this:
So it pretty much says "sometimes I don't even like chocolate, honest.' 'For long periods I don't have the least desire.' 'Then other times it's just...' and her pal says 'just'.
On facebook I'm actually tagged by someone as this Nemi character. Apparently she's Scandinavian, and she is usually in a foreign language and sometimes gets lost in translation. This didn't get lost at all. In fact moments before I had been tempted to do that. It was so freaky. I actually started laughing out loud a little when I saw it, I was in some disbelief that I had psychically predicted the humour without knowing I was predicting. I love me. The man, I'm sure, thought I was slightly mental for laughing out loud, but he has no idea how close he came to losing his Snickers.
Also on that page were the horoscopes, which I tend to read just for the amusement. Sometimes there's really funny ones. I also read Jon's just so I can check up on what he's doing that day.
The other day Jon's said that everything he touched this month would turn to gold, I was kind of pleased I wasn't around, I don't fancy being gold. Ahhhh. I'm funny.
Anyway, this same Snicker's eating day our horoscopes were:
Jon's pretty much told me he was cheating on me. Kidding. I don't believe that don't worry. But I was amused for a second.
Mine rang accurate and true, because I was tormented with a lot of thought that day, there were 3 or 4 things that kept playing in my mind which were effecting everything I did that day. It wasn't good. I was able to resolve some of them, possibly all of them. I was worried about marriage planning and how waiting for 'ideal circumstances' in the US might cause me to be living in unideal conditions in the UK, come the summer time — if i'm still here then. I resolved my immediate fear on this one by coming up with a plan. The next day I sent my 'interview readiness' form to London, and told Jon he would have a time limit on getting his forms to me. Then I devised a plan that would be semi-fool-proof depending on circumstances, and favours, and me having my visa in hand.
The other was a holiday request at work being denied, but I sorted it.
And the other was the fear of getting more hours, I love working at apple, and I asked for more hours, and I didn't know if I was going to be successful or not, and then worrying about whether I would do a good job, and still love the job when everything 'changed.' I have a change phobia, but only about certain things. Other changes I can handle, some I can't. Weird. So yeah, that is half resolved because I will be working more, but it doesn't start for another couple of weeks, and then we will know how that goes.
My favourite part of that entire newspaper though was the front cover, which had Sandra Bullock collecting her Oscar on it:
By far my photo of the year.
So today I am 26th and a half and one week. I am now closer to 27 than I ever was before. But that's true of every day. I'm not age obsessed by any means, I'm not bothered about ageing rapidly. I think it's because I had a sudden perspective overhaul a year or so ago. Around the time I bought a skateboard and went by the slogan 'I can do anything I want, no matter how old I am, I can learn new things.' Needless to say, that motto hasn't really lasted too long, or rather, it's not as ambitious as it once was. Mark my words though, I will skateboard one day, and on that day I will officially be Marty McFly.
I think the fact that I am engaged and will be getting married at some point before I'm 28, I feel okay about ageing. Definitely.
This evening I made two felt flowers and one really big 5meter ribbon and cute paper bunting thing. It was pretty wicked, Kris even helped out for a bit, he's been itching to have someone teach him how to knit so he can help. Bless his intentions. He has a short attention span though, so his help was short lived but greatly appreciated.
I had a story, but forgot to mention it the other night, I phoned Jon instead of blogging.
I was on the train and I was sitting in a four seat: four seats, two opposite each other. I was sitting in by the window facing, otherwise I vomit, and there was a business looking man diagonal across from me so we weren't knee touching. Both of us were reading newspapers. Our symmetrical difference, other than the obvious physical ones, was that he was eating a Snickers bar and I wasn't.
It was in his hand, resting on his knee closest to me, and I thought, if I were to bend over and take a bite (which I could do with a lot of ease) what would he do?
I wish I had.
It would have been good. I think the only thing stopping me was that I could see where his teeth had left saliva as he'd taken his last bite. Slevs are the enemy. I'd already made eye contact and smiled at him earlier when the ticket man had come by. There's something about apple that makes me a bit more pleasant with the general public. I tend to smile at them randomly, as if I'm still working.
During training at apple I used to always say that there were a lot of similarities to the church. One of which is that I'm a representative of Apple always. To anyone that knows where I work, I become the face of apple in everything I do — to the people that know. So I think that's why I get all smiley in public I think.
Anyway.
The conclusion of this story is that moments after wanting to eat this man's chocolate I flipped to the 'cartoon strips' at the back of the paper and saw this:
So it pretty much says "sometimes I don't even like chocolate, honest.' 'For long periods I don't have the least desire.' 'Then other times it's just...' and her pal says 'just'.
On facebook I'm actually tagged by someone as this Nemi character. Apparently she's Scandinavian, and she is usually in a foreign language and sometimes gets lost in translation. This didn't get lost at all. In fact moments before I had been tempted to do that. It was so freaky. I actually started laughing out loud a little when I saw it, I was in some disbelief that I had psychically predicted the humour without knowing I was predicting. I love me. The man, I'm sure, thought I was slightly mental for laughing out loud, but he has no idea how close he came to losing his Snickers.
Also on that page were the horoscopes, which I tend to read just for the amusement. Sometimes there's really funny ones. I also read Jon's just so I can check up on what he's doing that day.
The other day Jon's said that everything he touched this month would turn to gold, I was kind of pleased I wasn't around, I don't fancy being gold. Ahhhh. I'm funny.
Anyway, this same Snicker's eating day our horoscopes were:
Jon's pretty much told me he was cheating on me. Kidding. I don't believe that don't worry. But I was amused for a second.
Mine rang accurate and true, because I was tormented with a lot of thought that day, there were 3 or 4 things that kept playing in my mind which were effecting everything I did that day. It wasn't good. I was able to resolve some of them, possibly all of them. I was worried about marriage planning and how waiting for 'ideal circumstances' in the US might cause me to be living in unideal conditions in the UK, come the summer time — if i'm still here then. I resolved my immediate fear on this one by coming up with a plan. The next day I sent my 'interview readiness' form to London, and told Jon he would have a time limit on getting his forms to me. Then I devised a plan that would be semi-fool-proof depending on circumstances, and favours, and me having my visa in hand.
The other was a holiday request at work being denied, but I sorted it.
And the other was the fear of getting more hours, I love working at apple, and I asked for more hours, and I didn't know if I was going to be successful or not, and then worrying about whether I would do a good job, and still love the job when everything 'changed.' I have a change phobia, but only about certain things. Other changes I can handle, some I can't. Weird. So yeah, that is half resolved because I will be working more, but it doesn't start for another couple of weeks, and then we will know how that goes.
My favourite part of that entire newspaper though was the front cover, which had Sandra Bullock collecting her Oscar on it:
By far my photo of the year.
Friday, 12 March 2010
Wedding Day.
Today, is actually the day of wedding. Needless to say, it didn't happen quite according to plan. I've known for weeks that it wasn't happening, so it's not like today is a day of great grief of mourning. Just a day of well wishing and hoping.
I well wish and I well hope that another date can be picked and that date will happen. Also needless to say is my general boredom with the situation. Nothing seems to change, and it sucks. I had a really optimistic week last week, and the week before I had a very negative week, and now, I'm just placid, back to normal, living in the future, wishing and hoping, with no real belief that it will ever happen. It's like Christmas as a kid. The more you want something the longer it takes to arrive, and the more you believe you will get something the more likely you won't. So I think I used to tend to pretend that it was never going to happen and that way Christmas would come sooner and be a bit of a surprise when it did.
Fortunately I never had to 'plan' Christmas when I was a child. A wedding, that needs a certain amount of planning. It's all I do these days, it makes me believe that things will happen sooner, or at least if it does spring up as a surprise I'll be ready for it. :)
March 11th would have been good. Nice Spring air. Happy joy. Sigh.
Next wish.
I well wish and I well hope that another date can be picked and that date will happen. Also needless to say is my general boredom with the situation. Nothing seems to change, and it sucks. I had a really optimistic week last week, and the week before I had a very negative week, and now, I'm just placid, back to normal, living in the future, wishing and hoping, with no real belief that it will ever happen. It's like Christmas as a kid. The more you want something the longer it takes to arrive, and the more you believe you will get something the more likely you won't. So I think I used to tend to pretend that it was never going to happen and that way Christmas would come sooner and be a bit of a surprise when it did.
Fortunately I never had to 'plan' Christmas when I was a child. A wedding, that needs a certain amount of planning. It's all I do these days, it makes me believe that things will happen sooner, or at least if it does spring up as a surprise I'll be ready for it. :)
March 11th would have been good. Nice Spring air. Happy joy. Sigh.
Next wish.
Swim
I went swimming without a towel today. It's not the first time that's happened. Luckily this time I noticed before I paid, got in the pool, had a shower and got in the changing room. The first time I had Toni with me and we towel shared. This time I went back to the car and considered driving home to get a towel. I have very little to no petrol and I went to a pool further away from me because of the fiasco of the last time I went to the local pool. I got in the car and noticed a fleece blanket (from Ikea) that i have on the back seat. I thought for a second, crammed the blanket into my bag and went swimming.
That was 1.
While in the changing room I realised I had no bobble to tie my hair up with.
That was 2.
While cramming my hair into my swimming hat in a weird way because there was no bobble I pinged myself in the eye with the tight elastic.
That was 3.
I had an amazing swim though. The whole time I felt like I was following my old coach's words of 'Swim as fast as you can, your body won't let you go faster than you can go.' It was fast. I had the lane to myself as well for the majority, then some arse-man almost clobbered me when I was on 1600m. Idiot.
Stats:
1hr and maybe a couple of minutes over.
200m Front Crawl
200m Breast Stroke
50m Back stroke
50m one armed butterfly
50m Back stroke
50m One armed Butterfly
200m Front crawl legs
50m butterfly legs only
50m Back stroke legs only
100m Breast stoke legs only
50m Front crawl arms only
50m back stroke arms
50m butterfly (one armed) arms
50m breast stroke arms
400m Front Crawl with paddles and flippers
400m Front Crawl
150m Swim down
Things I have learned today:
Fleece blankets are not good towels. They do, however, keep you warm for a while and take off surface water, but have no adsorption at all. In fact, I would suggest never ever using a fleece blanket instead of a towel unless it is completely necessary.
That was 1.
While in the changing room I realised I had no bobble to tie my hair up with.
That was 2.
While cramming my hair into my swimming hat in a weird way because there was no bobble I pinged myself in the eye with the tight elastic.
That was 3.
I had an amazing swim though. The whole time I felt like I was following my old coach's words of 'Swim as fast as you can, your body won't let you go faster than you can go.' It was fast. I had the lane to myself as well for the majority, then some arse-man almost clobbered me when I was on 1600m. Idiot.
Stats:
1hr and maybe a couple of minutes over.
200m Front Crawl
200m Breast Stroke
50m Back stroke
50m one armed butterfly
50m Back stroke
50m One armed Butterfly
200m Front crawl legs
50m butterfly legs only
50m Back stroke legs only
100m Breast stoke legs only
50m Front crawl arms only
50m back stroke arms
50m butterfly (one armed) arms
50m breast stroke arms
400m Front Crawl with paddles and flippers
400m Front Crawl
150m Swim down
Things I have learned today:
Fleece blankets are not good towels. They do, however, keep you warm for a while and take off surface water, but have no adsorption at all. In fact, I would suggest never ever using a fleece blanket instead of a towel unless it is completely necessary.
Friday, 5 March 2010
Sticking Up for Scotland
I actually forgot to mention that I got e-annoyed again. Some random on MySpace, yeah I know Myspace got all up in my Scottish and irritated me slightly... Read for yourself:
mahatb…
22/02/2010 12:55
To: grrr arg (grrr_arg@myspace.com)
hey you're a mormon in england, that's cool.
Notice mistake number one... ENGLAND?
grrr a…
Online Now!
23/02/2010 05:22
To: mahatbilerat
Well almost. I'm a mormon in Scotland. Scotland and England are two very very different places, although they are joined. Wales, Scotland, England, and Northern Ireland are all separate countries and none of them appreciates being called the other. Collectively we are referred to as the United Kingdom of Great Britain, so if you want you can call me British, but never ever call me English.
Okay thanks bye
mahatb…
23/02/2010 23:50
To: grrr arg (grrr_arg@myspace.com)
well, the english government runs your country, which would thusly make you english... follow?
mahatb…
23/02/2010 23:51
To: grrr arg (grrr_arg@myspace.com)
that is like saying native americans aren't american
Notice mistake number 2... no apology and ignorantly attempting to justify the point.
I read a blog the other day by my friend April's husband Daren: About Ignorance
I responded to this child with this:
grrr a…
Online Now!
25/02/2010 14:28
To: mahatbilerat
Get your facts straight.
Scotland has it's own government.
The BRITISH government is based in England and does rulings that effect Britain, and they also do rulings that effect England. Not all laws passed in Westminster are applied to Scotland.
Scotland has it's own laws and legal system, and it's own recognised sporting teams.
Tell me, if Scotland was not a country why would Scotland, England, Ireland and Wales all compete in the World Cup for Football (soccer) and not under the collective country Great Britain.
You're stepping on thin ice with this one, and your analogy of Native Americans is just weak and poor. If you want to insult a county that is thousands of years old do some historic research first.
If this was anything like the Native Americans then Scottish people would have lived in England. That has never happened. Scotland has been a country for a very very long time and the border between Scotland and England has been established a lot longer than large colonies of British people (The Scottish, English, Irish and Welsh) got on a boat and founded your country to what it is now.
So if you have something pleasant, non-confrontational or actually Christian and nice to say why don't you say it. If you don't please don't email me again.
Thanks
I'd also like to say that at no point did I go looking for this person, I'm not using MySpace to meet people, it came out of the blue, entirely, and I should have ignored it from the start. Nor did I ever click through and look at this person, he could actually be some 12 year old, I've no idea.
I liked sticking up for Scotland though. When someone calls me English I have to say something, that's why I couldn't just ignore it.
mahatb…
22/02/2010 12:55
To: grrr arg (grrr_arg@myspace.com)
hey you're a mormon in england, that's cool.
Notice mistake number one... ENGLAND?
grrr a…
Online Now!
23/02/2010 05:22
To: mahatbilerat
Well almost. I'm a mormon in Scotland. Scotland and England are two very very different places, although they are joined. Wales, Scotland, England, and Northern Ireland are all separate countries and none of them appreciates being called the other. Collectively we are referred to as the United Kingdom of Great Britain, so if you want you can call me British, but never ever call me English.
Okay thanks bye
mahatb…
23/02/2010 23:50
To: grrr arg (grrr_arg@myspace.com)
well, the english government runs your country, which would thusly make you english... follow?
mahatb…
23/02/2010 23:51
To: grrr arg (grrr_arg@myspace.com)
that is like saying native americans aren't american
Notice mistake number 2... no apology and ignorantly attempting to justify the point.
I read a blog the other day by my friend April's husband Daren: About Ignorance
I responded to this child with this:
grrr a…
Online Now!
25/02/2010 14:28
To: mahatbilerat
Get your facts straight.
Scotland has it's own government.
The BRITISH government is based in England and does rulings that effect Britain, and they also do rulings that effect England. Not all laws passed in Westminster are applied to Scotland.
Scotland has it's own laws and legal system, and it's own recognised sporting teams.
Tell me, if Scotland was not a country why would Scotland, England, Ireland and Wales all compete in the World Cup for Football (soccer) and not under the collective country Great Britain.
You're stepping on thin ice with this one, and your analogy of Native Americans is just weak and poor. If you want to insult a county that is thousands of years old do some historic research first.
If this was anything like the Native Americans then Scottish people would have lived in England. That has never happened. Scotland has been a country for a very very long time and the border between Scotland and England has been established a lot longer than large colonies of British people (The Scottish, English, Irish and Welsh) got on a boat and founded your country to what it is now.
So if you have something pleasant, non-confrontational or actually Christian and nice to say why don't you say it. If you don't please don't email me again.
Thanks
I'd also like to say that at no point did I go looking for this person, I'm not using MySpace to meet people, it came out of the blue, entirely, and I should have ignored it from the start. Nor did I ever click through and look at this person, he could actually be some 12 year old, I've no idea.
I liked sticking up for Scotland though. When someone calls me English I have to say something, that's why I couldn't just ignore it.
Thursday, 4 March 2010
Random Update
2010 seems to be the year of neglecting my blog. It's not that I don't have anything to say, it's just that I seem to lack the motivation, or feel that every time I sit in front of the computer or have spare time that i should be planning wedding and immigration.
I've been knitting a lot, because I've decided to knit my 'table decoration' flowers, and that way I can use them here and in the US. I'm also going to make some from felt. I've also taken to doing a lot of hand washing for the bridesmaid dresses and table cloths that I find on ebay for much cheapness.
I feel kind of ill from the amount of consumption I've been doing recently. It's not a huge quantity of money, but there's something about spending money, and getting more stuff that just makes me a little stressed and uneasy. It's weird.
I went to institute last night for the first time this academic year. After going so many times in Utah and experiencing the quality of the lessons the Glasgow version just didn't seem to compare. Yesterday, after seeing Princess and the Frog and catching up with Claire for a bit, I had the urge to go to institute. I did go back to the cinema to see if there was anything else on, and I did mill around the house once I got home making the decision, but I went. And oddly enough it was on my favourite chapters in the book of mormon 3rd Nephi 1 — 13. 11 — 13 are my favourite chapters.
3 Nephi is the 11th book in the book of mormon and chapter 11 is amazing. Quite frankly. 11s freak me out.
Anyway, institute was good, I stirred up a minor bit of controversy by presenting an idea that Jon had discussed with me not so long ago. It actually flagged up the smallest bit of genuine philosophical discussion, but was concluded and nipped in the bud by the teacher with a general 'missionary answer' as Jon would call it. I tried to get in and out without having to talk to anyone. I hate socialising with people I barely know that seem to know everything about me because of gossip or facebook.
I do worry sometimes that I'm so focused on the future that I'm forgetting to live in the present. I seem to just be existing, and that's a little sad. But I am using this time to hang out with my own family, and my bestest of the best friends, because those are the ones I will miss the most.
Anyway, wedding update. We're still no further forward with my visa, or planning on a solid date.
My wedding dress, however, is smaller and amazing. The only thing I still need to get is fabric for wee jackety guy, and some seam/tan tights, oh and I was thinking of getting new white chuck taylors to swap in when I had to really walk because heels are awesome, but not all day.
I've got 4 out of 6 bridesmaids sorted.
I bought a holga camera to take random artsy shots on the wedding day :)
I have a lot of felt wool, buttons, ribbon, table, cloths, a candle stick, two glass tea pots, butterflies, ceramic hearts, a wooden ampersand, jars galore, and I have some plates on the way. I figure the postman is fed up of bringing the wedding to me. Honestly 4 times a week he has to knock on the door to give me parcels. It's exciting.
I tell you though, a lot of my time has been spent on trying to find a wedding ring. I was wanting my old flatmate to make me one, but she has refused several times over, so I figured I would start looking for something 'vintage/antique.' There's been some amazing stuff that I've found, but they either don't fit my finger, or the ones that do are just far too expensive.
My other thought was to just get a plain band, but look out for one that had engravings from a previous happy couple, one that got married in the 20s 30s 40s or 50s. I just like the history of it.
Here's some visual thinking:
If I had a lot of money, and a 6.5 finger size I would be getting this:
Beyond all that I've still been reading lolcats on a daily basis and I'm still grabbing the best ones just not posting them. So here are my lolcats that I love:
And some from fail blog:
Last week and the week before I was at some film festival films (glasgow film festival that is).
The movies I saw were
Gentlemen Broncos — Amazing
Mic Macs — by Jean Pierre Juenne, and the director did a Q and A afterwards which was amazing. he was just like one of his characters. I love Amelie, and he does too.
Capitalism: A love story — which was very lightening, and a really good Moore documentary. I cried a few times through it, it's just horrific. I really dislike capitalism, but it's hard to dislike something that I've benefited from. And it's even more difficult to say that it should be eradicated when no one knows what a better system would be. I'm not saying, by any means that I am a socialist, but there are elements of socialism that should be taken into account. The point of the movie though was that it was time to actually be a democracy, because democracy doesn't exist when capitalism does.
Whip It — which was about roller derby and it is now my newest obsession. It was amazing, by far my favourite movie.
And then there was 'The List — secret movie' Which turned out to be Greenberg and it left a sour taste in my mouth. While I watched it I thought it was good, but the ending, and the lack of conclusion just felt a little discomforting. There was no redemption or growth. Maybe there was and I missed it. While I was talking to Jon about it I said that it was like a movie with Jack Black and Nicole Kidman. When I finally looked up the Greenberg IMDB page I found out that Margot At the Wedding was the name of the Black/Kiddman film and that it was directed by the very same man that brought Greenberg to the screen.
I'm excited that I got to see it scores before a lot of people, and I liked that the cinema had a security guard with a 'device' monitor which would detect the use of anything electrical. We all had to turn phones off because it would pick up. He was making sure no one was filming any part. It was kind of cool.
I also feel a little guilty because I came across 'Christmas money' that I had received from my Dad and my Aunt Mary, and rather than put the money towards debt or wedding things I decided to buy the OC, all four season on dvd. I feel well guilty because it just adds to my weight that needs to immigrate, but at the same time I wanted something that I could say my Dad had contributed towards. I think it's the first time he's ever given me money on any kind of birthday or Christmas. I still haven't seen him in a very long time, but I liked his gesture. He delivered the card via my sister who does see him every now and again. I just don't do a good job at dealing, and my Dad is very unpredictable. He's either drunk, or getting drunk, and his mood could change at any point. I don't like being in situations that are unpredictable like that. So I tend to avoid it, and even his phone calls. So he's stopped attempting to contact me.
I've been meaning to write him a letter since I got the money from him. The Christian in me wants to help him and have some kind of rapport with him, but the child in me wants to hide and have nothing to do with it.
This got very deep very fast.
Anyway.
Life is good, The OC is on it's way, wedding planning is awesome — had everything gone to plan Jon and I would be getting married in seven days, and I would have immigrated on Tuesday past. Things haven't gone to plan, but it just means I have more time to knit and sew. :)
Optimistic Miller is here for the week, hopefully here to stay, I've had some sad weeks, and some happy weeks, the sad weeks feel like there's no end to it all. The happy weeks feel like everything will happen very very soon. I like the happy weeks.
I've been knitting a lot, because I've decided to knit my 'table decoration' flowers, and that way I can use them here and in the US. I'm also going to make some from felt. I've also taken to doing a lot of hand washing for the bridesmaid dresses and table cloths that I find on ebay for much cheapness.
I feel kind of ill from the amount of consumption I've been doing recently. It's not a huge quantity of money, but there's something about spending money, and getting more stuff that just makes me a little stressed and uneasy. It's weird.
I went to institute last night for the first time this academic year. After going so many times in Utah and experiencing the quality of the lessons the Glasgow version just didn't seem to compare. Yesterday, after seeing Princess and the Frog and catching up with Claire for a bit, I had the urge to go to institute. I did go back to the cinema to see if there was anything else on, and I did mill around the house once I got home making the decision, but I went. And oddly enough it was on my favourite chapters in the book of mormon 3rd Nephi 1 — 13. 11 — 13 are my favourite chapters.
3 Nephi is the 11th book in the book of mormon and chapter 11 is amazing. Quite frankly. 11s freak me out.
Anyway, institute was good, I stirred up a minor bit of controversy by presenting an idea that Jon had discussed with me not so long ago. It actually flagged up the smallest bit of genuine philosophical discussion, but was concluded and nipped in the bud by the teacher with a general 'missionary answer' as Jon would call it. I tried to get in and out without having to talk to anyone. I hate socialising with people I barely know that seem to know everything about me because of gossip or facebook.
I do worry sometimes that I'm so focused on the future that I'm forgetting to live in the present. I seem to just be existing, and that's a little sad. But I am using this time to hang out with my own family, and my bestest of the best friends, because those are the ones I will miss the most.
Anyway, wedding update. We're still no further forward with my visa, or planning on a solid date.
My wedding dress, however, is smaller and amazing. The only thing I still need to get is fabric for wee jackety guy, and some seam/tan tights, oh and I was thinking of getting new white chuck taylors to swap in when I had to really walk because heels are awesome, but not all day.
I've got 4 out of 6 bridesmaids sorted.
I bought a holga camera to take random artsy shots on the wedding day :)
I have a lot of felt wool, buttons, ribbon, table, cloths, a candle stick, two glass tea pots, butterflies, ceramic hearts, a wooden ampersand, jars galore, and I have some plates on the way. I figure the postman is fed up of bringing the wedding to me. Honestly 4 times a week he has to knock on the door to give me parcels. It's exciting.
I tell you though, a lot of my time has been spent on trying to find a wedding ring. I was wanting my old flatmate to make me one, but she has refused several times over, so I figured I would start looking for something 'vintage/antique.' There's been some amazing stuff that I've found, but they either don't fit my finger, or the ones that do are just far too expensive.
My other thought was to just get a plain band, but look out for one that had engravings from a previous happy couple, one that got married in the 20s 30s 40s or 50s. I just like the history of it.
Here's some visual thinking:
If I had a lot of money, and a 6.5 finger size I would be getting this:
Beyond all that I've still been reading lolcats on a daily basis and I'm still grabbing the best ones just not posting them. So here are my lolcats that I love:
And some from fail blog:
Last week and the week before I was at some film festival films (glasgow film festival that is).
The movies I saw were
Gentlemen Broncos — Amazing
Mic Macs — by Jean Pierre Juenne, and the director did a Q and A afterwards which was amazing. he was just like one of his characters. I love Amelie, and he does too.
Capitalism: A love story — which was very lightening, and a really good Moore documentary. I cried a few times through it, it's just horrific. I really dislike capitalism, but it's hard to dislike something that I've benefited from. And it's even more difficult to say that it should be eradicated when no one knows what a better system would be. I'm not saying, by any means that I am a socialist, but there are elements of socialism that should be taken into account. The point of the movie though was that it was time to actually be a democracy, because democracy doesn't exist when capitalism does.
Whip It — which was about roller derby and it is now my newest obsession. It was amazing, by far my favourite movie.
And then there was 'The List — secret movie' Which turned out to be Greenberg and it left a sour taste in my mouth. While I watched it I thought it was good, but the ending, and the lack of conclusion just felt a little discomforting. There was no redemption or growth. Maybe there was and I missed it. While I was talking to Jon about it I said that it was like a movie with Jack Black and Nicole Kidman. When I finally looked up the Greenberg IMDB page I found out that Margot At the Wedding was the name of the Black/Kiddman film and that it was directed by the very same man that brought Greenberg to the screen.
I'm excited that I got to see it scores before a lot of people, and I liked that the cinema had a security guard with a 'device' monitor which would detect the use of anything electrical. We all had to turn phones off because it would pick up. He was making sure no one was filming any part. It was kind of cool.
I also feel a little guilty because I came across 'Christmas money' that I had received from my Dad and my Aunt Mary, and rather than put the money towards debt or wedding things I decided to buy the OC, all four season on dvd. I feel well guilty because it just adds to my weight that needs to immigrate, but at the same time I wanted something that I could say my Dad had contributed towards. I think it's the first time he's ever given me money on any kind of birthday or Christmas. I still haven't seen him in a very long time, but I liked his gesture. He delivered the card via my sister who does see him every now and again. I just don't do a good job at dealing, and my Dad is very unpredictable. He's either drunk, or getting drunk, and his mood could change at any point. I don't like being in situations that are unpredictable like that. So I tend to avoid it, and even his phone calls. So he's stopped attempting to contact me.
I've been meaning to write him a letter since I got the money from him. The Christian in me wants to help him and have some kind of rapport with him, but the child in me wants to hide and have nothing to do with it.
This got very deep very fast.
Anyway.
Life is good, The OC is on it's way, wedding planning is awesome — had everything gone to plan Jon and I would be getting married in seven days, and I would have immigrated on Tuesday past. Things haven't gone to plan, but it just means I have more time to knit and sew. :)
Optimistic Miller is here for the week, hopefully here to stay, I've had some sad weeks, and some happy weeks, the sad weeks feel like there's no end to it all. The happy weeks feel like everything will happen very very soon. I like the happy weeks.
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