I've been knitting a lot, because I've decided to knit my 'table decoration' flowers, and that way I can use them here and in the US. I'm also going to make some from felt. I've also taken to doing a lot of hand washing for the bridesmaid dresses and table cloths that I find on ebay for much cheapness.
I feel kind of ill from the amount of consumption I've been doing recently. It's not a huge quantity of money, but there's something about spending money, and getting more stuff that just makes me a little stressed and uneasy. It's weird.
I went to institute last night for the first time this academic year. After going so many times in Utah and experiencing the quality of the lessons the Glasgow version just didn't seem to compare. Yesterday, after seeing Princess and the Frog and catching up with Claire for a bit, I had the urge to go to institute. I did go back to the cinema to see if there was anything else on, and I did mill around the house once I got home making the decision, but I went. And oddly enough it was on my favourite chapters in the book of mormon 3rd Nephi 1 — 13. 11 — 13 are my favourite chapters.
3 Nephi is the 11th book in the book of mormon and chapter 11 is amazing. Quite frankly. 11s freak me out.
Anyway, institute was good, I stirred up a minor bit of controversy by presenting an idea that Jon had discussed with me not so long ago. It actually flagged up the smallest bit of genuine philosophical discussion, but was concluded and nipped in the bud by the teacher with a general 'missionary answer' as Jon would call it. I tried to get in and out without having to talk to anyone. I hate socialising with people I barely know that seem to know everything about me because of gossip or facebook.
I do worry sometimes that I'm so focused on the future that I'm forgetting to live in the present. I seem to just be existing, and that's a little sad. But I am using this time to hang out with my own family, and my bestest of the best friends, because those are the ones I will miss the most.
Anyway, wedding update. We're still no further forward with my visa, or planning on a solid date.
My wedding dress, however, is smaller and amazing. The only thing I still need to get is fabric for wee jackety guy, and some seam/tan tights, oh and I was thinking of getting new white chuck taylors to swap in when I had to really walk because heels are awesome, but not all day.
I've got 4 out of 6 bridesmaids sorted.
I bought a holga camera to take random artsy shots on the wedding day :)
I have a lot of felt wool, buttons, ribbon, table, cloths, a candle stick, two glass tea pots, butterflies, ceramic hearts, a wooden ampersand, jars galore, and I have some plates on the way. I figure the postman is fed up of bringing the wedding to me. Honestly 4 times a week he has to knock on the door to give me parcels. It's exciting.
I tell you though, a lot of my time has been spent on trying to find a wedding ring. I was wanting my old flatmate to make me one, but she has refused several times over, so I figured I would start looking for something 'vintage/antique.' There's been some amazing stuff that I've found, but they either don't fit my finger, or the ones that do are just far too expensive.
My other thought was to just get a plain band, but look out for one that had engravings from a previous happy couple, one that got married in the 20s 30s 40s or 50s. I just like the history of it.
Here's some visual thinking:
If I had a lot of money, and a 6.5 finger size I would be getting this:
Beyond all that I've still been reading lolcats on a daily basis and I'm still grabbing the best ones just not posting them. So here are my lolcats that I love:
And some from fail blog:
Last week and the week before I was at some film festival films (glasgow film festival that is).
The movies I saw were
Gentlemen Broncos — Amazing
Mic Macs — by Jean Pierre Juenne, and the director did a Q and A afterwards which was amazing. he was just like one of his characters. I love Amelie, and he does too.
Capitalism: A love story — which was very lightening, and a really good Moore documentary. I cried a few times through it, it's just horrific. I really dislike capitalism, but it's hard to dislike something that I've benefited from. And it's even more difficult to say that it should be eradicated when no one knows what a better system would be. I'm not saying, by any means that I am a socialist, but there are elements of socialism that should be taken into account. The point of the movie though was that it was time to actually be a democracy, because democracy doesn't exist when capitalism does.
Whip It — which was about roller derby and it is now my newest obsession. It was amazing, by far my favourite movie.
And then there was 'The List — secret movie' Which turned out to be Greenberg and it left a sour taste in my mouth. While I watched it I thought it was good, but the ending, and the lack of conclusion just felt a little discomforting. There was no redemption or growth. Maybe there was and I missed it. While I was talking to Jon about it I said that it was like a movie with Jack Black and Nicole Kidman. When I finally looked up the Greenberg IMDB page I found out that Margot At the Wedding was the name of the Black/Kiddman film and that it was directed by the very same man that brought Greenberg to the screen.
I'm excited that I got to see it scores before a lot of people, and I liked that the cinema had a security guard with a 'device' monitor which would detect the use of anything electrical. We all had to turn phones off because it would pick up. He was making sure no one was filming any part. It was kind of cool.
I also feel a little guilty because I came across 'Christmas money' that I had received from my Dad and my Aunt Mary, and rather than put the money towards debt or wedding things I decided to buy the OC, all four season on dvd. I feel well guilty because it just adds to my weight that needs to immigrate, but at the same time I wanted something that I could say my Dad had contributed towards. I think it's the first time he's ever given me money on any kind of birthday or Christmas. I still haven't seen him in a very long time, but I liked his gesture. He delivered the card via my sister who does see him every now and again. I just don't do a good job at dealing, and my Dad is very unpredictable. He's either drunk, or getting drunk, and his mood could change at any point. I don't like being in situations that are unpredictable like that. So I tend to avoid it, and even his phone calls. So he's stopped attempting to contact me.
I've been meaning to write him a letter since I got the money from him. The Christian in me wants to help him and have some kind of rapport with him, but the child in me wants to hide and have nothing to do with it.
This got very deep very fast.
Anyway.
Life is good, The OC is on it's way, wedding planning is awesome — had everything gone to plan Jon and I would be getting married in seven days, and I would have immigrated on Tuesday past. Things haven't gone to plan, but it just means I have more time to knit and sew. :)
Optimistic Miller is here for the week, hopefully here to stay, I've had some sad weeks, and some happy weeks, the sad weeks feel like there's no end to it all. The happy weeks feel like everything will happen very very soon. I like the happy weeks.
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