Friday, 26 December 2008

Atreyu

The most heartbreaking scene in a childhood movie has to be:



So sad.

I got the dvd for christmas, before that I only ever had it on one of those blank taped off the TV VHS tapes. So I hadn't seen it in years. I also had never seen the beginning because it was missing off the tape.

Amazing.

So sad.

Amazing.

I used to put necklaces on my head and pretend I was the empress. I was also in love with Atreyu, and I was always really skeptical about Bastian's hair cut. And still I have no idea what name he chooses. Annnnndjakskajsdkaaaaaaakjeririuiruiaahhhhhhhhhhh.

As portrayed beautifully by Seth Green and his stop motion:

Work California



I just saw this ad on STV after a bout of the ol' mary poppins.

Amazing. Step In Time... and as Dean said Dick Van Dyke before he got his PhD and his murder solving abilities. We hail you Dick Van Dyke we hail you.

Tuesday, 23 December 2008

Stats.

I had to cut it all fast and short.

200m warm up 100 front 100 breast

800m front crawl paddles and flippers

50m swim down

25 minutes.

Amen.

stats

I had to cut it all fast and short.

200m warm up 100 front 100 breast

800m front crawl paddles and flippers

50m swim down

25 minutes.

Amen.

Saturday, 20 December 2008

I <3 Numbers

When I worked full time with Rufio back in the day my favourite part of being the monkey was to look at the stats of all the people that had looked at our sites, and where they had come from.

Today, while in Iceland, I was thinking that if I worked there I would try to count how many items i put through a day – numbers interest me.

So you have to excuse me when I tell you and show you my phone bill for the month of december.

I like seeing how many messages I sent to people.

To make life easier I went through and lised, by name, the people.

As we can see there is a clear winner. Jon, Toni, Mary, Kate. I think it goes.

Oddly enough, Kate is always at the top of my itemised bill.

Needless to say my bill was higher this month than it has been. But not at its highest. The £111 shocker of last november still gets me every time.

Thursday, 18 December 2008

mono

My good ol' soul mate Dris Chaines quoted something at me the other day.

I'm still not 100% sure what he meant by it, why he said it, if he was just sharing it or whether he was making it relevant to me, but I took it as my own.

It's from wayne's world.

I wonder if they have it on YouTube... let's have Mike Myres say it for me.

couldn't find it, and then I went to upload it from my own dvd, to find that someone has been pilfering my dvds...hmmmmm. Can't find it.

So I will just verablly, textually write it.

'[I] thought I had mono once for an entire year. Turned out I was just really bored.'

And that... sums up twelve months of my life.

Amen.

Monday, 15 December 2008

It's Been A While But...

...... but...

This week has been brought to you by:

The Letters:

S L E E and P

The words:

Choke

Burn

After

Reading

I
deleted
my
TV
files
off
my
hard
drive

Zero
threw
up
and
I
had
kitty
stomache
juice
on
my
hand

Hot
Chocolate

Dundee

Hit
by
a
4x4

sprayed
by
a
lorry

beef


My
sanity
was
maintained
by
iChat

and the number:

30-D-E-C-E-M-B-E-R-I-G-O-B-A-C-K-T-O-S-A-L-T-L-A-K-E-P-A-S-S-P-O-R-T-C-O-N-T-R-O-L-P-E-N-D-I-N-G

Thursday, 4 December 2008

14 days.

... I disappeared for pretty much two weeks.

No one really knows where i went. I just kind of vanished.

But I have found myself at home.

With a furry black cat.

With black beed sheets.

With a map on my wall.

I am indeed back in Glasgow.

My flight landed about 22 hours ago, I then spent one of those hours sitting in the airport. 1.5 of those hours getting from Edinburgh to Glasgow and talking to Kate.

11 of those hours asleep.

and 8.5 of those hours attending to random business online, eating soup, openine mail, watching The Hitchhiker's guide to teh galaxy and Josie and the Pussycats.

The last few days in Utah have been a blur.

Thanksgiving was spent with Mike's parents.

Thanksgiving weekend was spent, pretty much with Jon... with a trip to the chuck with Maddy and her Mum and Grandpa inbetween... MEGA. Oh the chuck how i love thee.

I also got to watch amelie on Saturday night, and any day with Amelie is a good day.

The flight back was pretty uneventful. There was a lot of turbulance and at one point I thought we were going to either loose an engine and start/end a paraellel universe or that we would be sucked onto a deserted island that wasn't deserted.

I had a six hour lay over in New York. So I left the airport, (wearing my golden uggs of joy warmth and comfort), got on the air train, got on the A train, went to brooklyn and found annie. I let myself into her building and pushed the floor I suspected she was on. The elevator stopped at the one floor before the one I had pressed and there she was, waiting to get on the lift to go to the 6th floor. It was like a scene from a movie. I kid you not.

We then chatted, sat, I ate quiche that she had made me :) and we drank some tea and then I headed back to the airport. There are no pictures because I was so tired and so drugged up that I was using all my abilities to function and the thought of picture taking hadn't even crossed my mind.

I need to show you pictures of the golden uggs. or Fuggs as they should be called. They're also too small for me, so I might sell them, or not. i can't decide. They're only too small when I walk and my foot moves forward. If I stand still they're fine haha.

So jet lagged is me... it's 7:30am. It's pitch black outside, it's cold. It's miserable, it's a scottish winter.

Lame.

14 days.

... I disappeared for pretty much two weeks.

No one really knows where i went. I just kind of vanished.

But I have found myself at home.

With a furry black cat.

With black beed sheets.

With a map on my wall.

I am indeed back in Glasgow.

My flight landed about 22 hours ago, I then spent one of those hours sitting in the airport. 1.5 of those hours getting from Edinburgh to Glasgow and talking to Kate.

11 of those hours asleep.

and 8.5 of those hours attending to random business online, eating soup, openine mail, watching The Hitchhiker's guide to teh galaxy and Josie and the Pussycats.

The last few days in Utah have been a blur.

Thanksgiving was spent with Mike's parents.

Thanksgiving weekend was spent, pretty much with Jon... with a trip to the chuck with Maddy and her Mum and Grandpa inbetween... MEGA. Oh the chuck how i love thee.

I also got to watch amelie on Saturday night, and any day with Amelie is a good day.

The flight back was pretty uneventful. There was a lot of turbulance and at one point I thought we were going to either loose an engine and start/end a paraellel universe or that we would be sucked onto a deserted island that wasn't deserted.

I had a six hour lay over in New York. So I left the airport, (wearing my golden uggs of joy warmth and comfort), got on the air train, got on the A train, went to brooklyn and found annie. I let myself into her building and pushed the floor I suspected she was on. The elevator stopped at the one floor before the one I had pressed and there she was, waiting to get on the lift to go to the 6th floor. It was like a scene from a movie. I kid you not.

We then chatted, sat, I ate quiche that she had made me :) and we drank some tea and then I headed back to the airport. There are no pictures because I was so tired and so drugged up that I was using all my abilities to function and the thought of picture taking hadn't even crossed my mind.

I need to show you pictures of the golden uggs. or Fuggs as they should be called. They're also too small for me, so I might sell them, or not. i can't decide. They're only too small when I walk and my foot moves forward. If I stand still they're fine haha.

So jet lagged is me... it's 7:30am. It's pitch black outside, it's cold. It's miserable, it's a scottish winter.

Lame.

Tuesday, 25 November 2008

If anyone has a spare $250... (and charlie)

... Then you should give it to me... so I can buy this dress.

Why?

Because I look flippin' ace in it. Haha.





Alternatively if anyone can make a dress pattern from just looking at a picture let me know and i'll have my maw make it for me.

And on another note... that dress was a size zero... far too tight... but it fitted... gulp. I think because the waist was actually around my ribs and not my wee belly :):):)


In other picture news:










This is Charlie. The violin. I love him.





This is also charlie, the chihuahua with the new siamese kitten. This is why it's so hard for me to come home. So amazing.

Friday, 21 November 2008

What Ever Happened to the Stereophonics.

I'm not crying over this. I hate them. They had two good songs, the bartender and the thief and the one about the trees and the matches.

I think they are terrible, and i'm pretty sure the lead singer had a girl's name like Kelly or something... I also think he needed his eyebrows plucked just like Sandy Cohen and the bloke they got to play Edward in the new twilight movie. He's ugly by the way. I could think of a thousand prettier men that could play that part... and a thousand other guys that actually look like the character description in the book.

Anyway... that's not why we are here. I was just writing some o fmy novel... I want to get over 30000 words before I sleep properly tonight, but I just reminded myself of the stereophonics cover:



That's me. The woman. Pretty much. In my life.. that's what I always seem to do. PAH HA. Guys bore me. It seems.

Hearts

OKay... I found this video.



It's more genuine because the woman is actually German.

And it shows you the heart of the cat which I think was the prettiest thing I have ever seen. The colours on that heart were so pretty.

My favourite people were the archer woman who wore her brain on her skull (that's the new fashion) and the man balancing on three balls with his inner intestinal goodies ripped out his spine and held up in his hand in the sky. Amusing.

The best quote though, and thing that I read was about how the heart can be affected by grief and if people don't get over grief they can die.

'Broken Heart Syndrome is produced by a toxic overload of stress hormones resulting in stress and cardiomyopathy.

Symptoms are like those of a heart attack: shortness of breath, chest pain, fluid in the lungs, and a weak heart.

A resilient person may recover within a few days without any permanent damage to the heart. But those who cannot recover from grief can stress their hearts to the point of meloncholy, depression and even death.'

I've yet to see grief listed as a cause of death on a death certificate but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
Mimi Guameri.

The heart is just so beautiful. I want to start running to help keep it healthy, and i'm sure that man with the Mouser for years told me to eat shredded wheat for my heart. You know the guy... ian something or other. Cricket player. Botham?

I love British advertising check these out:





Forward to nine minutes for the shredded wheat ad... although all of them are entertaining. Especially the last fools speed one... 'auch ya pratt.' HAHA.


I also think some people have too much time on their hands, and aren't particularly funny... I also thought this was going to be a snuff movie with shredded wheat when I first saw it start. Pah ha.



weirdos.

Remember though, North South East West. Never Eat Shredded Wheat. :):):)

Fools Rush In.

Sofia copolla is possibly one of the greatest directors. I love her movies.

Anyway, I love the soundtracks from her movies as well.

And while I was driving back from target tonight I was listening to my iPod on random. Wonderful. I love listneing to it on shuffle you can go from the MoTab Be Still My Soul to a Flight of the Conchords song to Heavy Angry Metal (Otep and Kittie) to Jens Lekman and even the Marie Antoinette soundtrack.

I also beleive that I am in a small minority of people that can spell Antoinette without even thinking about it. No thought. Antoinette. Antoinette. It would be insulting to Toni if I couldn't spell her name after 10 years.

BLOODY HELL. I'VE KNOWN HER FOR OVER 10 YEARS. What the shizzz. haha.

Anyway.

Today, I went to meet April downtown, mega. And we ended up deciding to go see the Bodyworld exhibit.

This reminded me fully of Laura Jane and sitting in the flat (pollock palace) until the wee hours of the morning watching his lecture series on channel four. It was amazing. I love channel four. So educational. They've gone down as of late though. But they used to be better.

Anyway Body worlds was amazing. And I'm going to admit it. It made me hungry. I wanted to leave and go eat braised skeak stew or bacon or something. Kind of gross. I hope that doesn't make me a canabal. Canabal Miller. I do like to bite people. Hmmmm.

The one thing that got me was the baby skull. Did you know that the skull of a baby had plates (kind of like the earth but not) and they all overlap each other, and as the spwan grows its head expands and the plates enlarge and then once they are fully pushed out they merge together and together they stay. So our heads are born with all the bone they need just overlapping. Amazing. AMAZING.

I can't get over it.

And all the capilleries and the blood things and the CND. Beautiful.

I was totally gutted that I couldn't take pictures. It's not like the pictures in the book in the shop are pretty, they are all basic and more biological than artistic.

I parked in a 2 hour parking place, and we were in there for three hours. Three hours. i didn't even feel the time going, but it was wonderful. and I got no parking ticket. high five for me.

But I tell you though, I was on my best behaviour. i touched nothing i wasn't supposed to. Seriously. Not like that time I touched Van Gough's sunflowers PAH HA. Or those magritte paintings in Europe. Or that Rodin statue.

No no... I touched nothing of gunther von haggen's.

Oh... Fools rush in.



I found this really SPECIAL video of it. That girl and I wouldn't be friends. Her earings are too big and she uses her tongue to talk too much. Watch it, she just throws that tongue about.

Anyway.

Yeah.

I like that song, and it came on in the car on the iPod. And I appreciated it.

I am a fool.

But I love me, so i love fools.

And... it's a fact that the female form is far prettier and much more attractive than the male form could ever be. It's just the truth of it. Hip bones, thighs, spine, shoulders. Stunning. Males... not so much. Pleh.

Thursday, 20 November 2008

C U ....

I wish I was home for my best friend coming back this weekend. I am sending my hugs in a large cloud lined with stars.


Last night, my life was completed, I was able to see Carrie Underwood. Granted, my newest friend and I were terribly late (because I had to go to institute) but it was worth it. And we got there for the best part. That's the truth. The part where she covered Guns N' Roses' Paradise city. It was almost like blasphemy, but I got over it.

Ahhhh people.

This is an odd world.

I am also so tired, because I stayed out until 5am. 5am. 5am. sincerly. Look at me living on the edge and being the biggest piss taker in the world. Hmmm.

I'm also starving because I realise that all I ate yesterday was a banana.

Institute was amazing though.

I had my first ever slurpy. 

And I went swimming, so my skin and muscles were doing this really cool contracting thing for the rest of the night. They felt so fresh and happy.

Stats?

200yds FC
200yds BS
100yds BC
100yds butterfly (really... I'm getting the hang of it)

200yds FC legs
100yds FC arms
100yds BS arms

200yds FC Paddles and Fins
200yds FC sprint

100yds IM (25 butterfly, 25 back, 25 breast, 25 front)

100yds swim down.

I had an audience. The man in the lane next to me would stand at both ends of the pool and watch me tumble turn or drink water. I started to find it weird. I don't think he was looking at my stroke, that's for sure. I think he was being a creepy perv, because my swim suit is quite low cut in a V, and it also gives me a massive wedgie when I swim haha. Perv man.

I have photos of the past week to post. :)

I can't decide whether to go to Logan tonight to see Bleary again or not. hmmmm.

Monday, 17 November 2008

Star Trek Wars

So, 

I just watched the new star trek trailer.

and I have issues.

1. Why can't they hire a scottish guy to be scotty? You know? Why Simon Pegg? He's good and all but he's not scottish.

2. Why is it more like Star Wars episode one than star trek.

3. The beauty of star trek was the cheesey rugged moving scenery and what not. I liked it. 

4. I'm not a trekky, but I did like TNG, Voyager and the original (but who didn't right?)

Have a look for yourself.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/startrek/large_trailer2.html

5. Sylar freaks me out as Spock. He's too engrained in the role of sylar I think. Blah.

The best 30 minutes

People.

There are different people that come in and out of your life, I know for mine it's the case. What I find most interesting is the complete set that these people make you feel. You know? Once you meet them there is a hole made that fits that person and that person only. And without that person then there will always be some kind of dent and gap in your life.

I have one such friend in particular like that, I don't even know him well, but the smile and warmth small kind gestures have brought to my life have been so important and necessary in my life that I know if he wasn't around there would be a hole where he currently fills.

Pleased. 

Saturday, 15 November 2008

Between Angels and Insects; or, I'm not going to Italy.

OH MY GOSH.

I'm listening to iTunes on random... and Papa Roach, between angels and insects just came on... this reminds me of 2000 haha. Amazing. I'm cracking up. They thought they were so bad ass with their angels and insects name, their spikey hair, and their crazy screamy hardcore everything-sucks life-is-evil lyrics. haha. 

Also, on that note... I forgot to mention yesterday that I officially fail at life.

I got this email yesterday:


Dear Vikki, 

thank you for your application to participate in Fabrica. We receive a multitude of applications from highly qualified candidates such as yourself. 

Upon careful consideration of your application as well as the current requirements of the Visual Communication Department at Fabrica, we are not in a position to extend an invitation to you at this time. 

We thank you a lot for the interest you have shown towards Fabrica and we wish you all the best for your future achievements. 

Sincerely, 
Serena Cortella 



(Warning immaturity level reaching 100%.)

Yeah?

Well I didn't want to go to Italy anyway... screw you guys and you're stupid italian reserch centre, and you're stupid pasta, and you're stupid perfect 12 months of life, and you're stupid stupidness. And especially screw Oliverio Toscani and Luciano Benneton, i never liked you guys anyway, all that stuff I wrote about in essays when I was 16 and my dissertation when I was 21 and my masters degree when I was 23... it was all lies. I hate you all and think you all suck, and there's nothing cool about your work in the slightest, and your angle and photography and thoughts and opinions and want to change the world is all stupid too. It's not like I want to do the same thing, I hate the environment and people and society and culture. I was just lying. it was all a joke. haha. I hate you all.. and as I said at the start I never wanted to go to Fabrica anyway... becuse you all smell like the medeterianian sea. Forks. 

Yeah.

Stupid faces.

All about the double K

Last night was possibly one of the best nights ever.

Two years ago, at Charla's Wedding a met an awesome girl called Nikki, she was Charla's best friend through University in Utah.

On hallowe'en Nikki and I were oddly reunited, because I ended up at a party in her house. Coincidence? I don't believe in them.

So last night, she I met for dinner, which was the most amazing pizza ever, followed by the most amazing hot chocolate ever from the cutest little chocolate shop in the avenues. I don't remember the name of either, but when reiterating the story to Phil later that night, he knew exactly what I was talking about. 

Well we chatted and chatted and filled each other in on lives and everything else in between, and of course there was the boy chats. Oh the boy chats.

Nikki was saying that there is evidence to support the fact that a child, while growing up, has a psychological yearning for both a mother and a father, and in order to raise a well rounded child both should be present.

I proceeded to add, that I fully agree, although I never yearned for a Father, I am aware that I am definitely psychologically damaged, to an extent, from the lack of, and behaviour of my Dad Dad Daddy-o. (Back to the future quote of the day)

We swapped father horror stories, and then Nikki said something that made me realise a lot of my issues.

Because we've never just had a male figure around that will love us, unconditionally, and he will always be around, we think we need to fight and work and constantly keep entertaining any guy that does come into our lives and wants to love us. 

This explained to me the 'challenge' I give myself. If a guy doesn't want me, then I will start to go out of my way to make him want me, because in my head, without work, it can't be done. Confusing. 

This also linked to the secondary words that Maddy told me not long ago, that we (she and I) chase men. If they were to chase us we would be put off, so we do the chasing. And when it comes to a head we do the hurting too, because at the end of it all we are still women.

There you have it, lack of father figure means that we chase, entertain, and constantly feel like we have to fight to deserve and receive the love we want from the men we want. 

Friday, 14 November 2008

LIke a stone.

I'm sure i've mentioned this before. but I have a playlist called the Songs to Die to Playlist. They are all songs from my life that mean SOMETHING, not just anything but something. Seriously. It takes a lot for a song to get on this playlist. There's only 21 songs just now.

But one of them is Like A Stone by Audioslave. I never liked this song until I saw the video, then I would listen to it 14 times in a row.

I passed my driving test (fifth test) humming this song. The man must have thought I was mental.

Here's the video of it. Sony have made the embedding disabled though. Bawbags.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1j823QH6cU

Thursday, 13 November 2008

I still love Old School Biffy.

Mon eh Biffy.

I admit i've never listened to anything they've made after Infinity Land.

But I still love their old stuff.

I'm going to see what's on youtube to whet your biffy apetite.

57
Reminds me of the QMU with Eilidh face.



27
Lyrically one of my favourites.



Just Boy
Lyrically amazing, and my iPod was called 'Light will break and bring a brigh sky for a long time.



Joy. Discovery. Invention.
The first biffy song I heard, given to me by Kris Keiller (or Kurt Cobain Kris as we all called him)



Bodies in Flight
My most listened to, according to iTunes.



I mean, I once saw biffy five times in 12 months. That's once every two months. I used to love them. But I am a music snob it seems. Or not. Just, taste changes sometimes, and I now love a bit of the bass more. The Blow, Jens Lekman, Caribou and Cocorosie. More collaborations of different instruments than the traditional three piece. But then I love Bleary. So I don't know what happened to the Biffy. Sorry guys. I saw they played Salt Lake last year as a support band, I was proud of them. I wonder how they were received. :)

I can tell the time.

I woke up this morning early and was confused that it was so early. I liked it though, I still didn't manage to persuade myself to get out of bed. But I did look at my watch and both hands were on the nine, so I lay there, with my arm in the air, really confused wondering if my watch had stopped because it was quarter to three. I genuinely thought it was quarter to three. both hands on the nine, quarter to three. I can tell the time.

Apparently.

So, today is November 13th. This day 366 days ago (because it's a leap year) I bought my external hard drive from the Apple Store in Salt Lake. I named it Brekk. I went to institute. I went back to my apartment. And I know I'm sure other things happened that day. But let's no longer agonise over them. And then 366 days proceeded that day. And I am still in Utah once more. I need to stop looking for unnecessary symbolism in my own life. It doesn't exist, and it just makes me mental.

And I never did and have never yet still, to my conscious knowledge, eaten a Krispy Kreme (KK) doughnut.

My Eulogy. Part l.

Tonight in institute the teacher asked us all to think about and write our own Eulogy, what we would have our family read out at our own funeral.

The reason for doing such a depressing thing is to work out what your goals are and what you aspire to do and to become. He asked us to pay particular attention to personality traits like honesty, integrity and valiancy. And then explain what those things, as we understand them to be, are – rather than just list them. Anyone can do that.

Well, it reminded me of the Royal Tenenbaums, so I decided to watch that movie while eating a burrito and some American Cadbury's chocolate because I am being visited by Auto Flo and she needs her chocolate. Fact.



I think the reason I like the movie so much is because of Royale's gravestone. I've said this before, but this time I have the picture to proove how amazing and how similar to my own personality it is. I think mine will be of a similar nature.

Wednesday, 12 November 2008

Facebook is the new Coca-Cola.

The other day I was reading an article in a business magazine and they were trying to predict trends and wax financial about the future of the economy and what would replace the things we already have in society.

One of the questions was about someone trying to predict or create what comes after facebook.

I've been thinking about this for a while, and I have come to realise that my prediction, in this whole affair, is that nothing is going to come after facebook. Well not nothing, there will be things invented and created i'm sure, but nothing is going to over take it.

Here is my reasoning, and we're going to mention MySpace and Bebo and frienster and Hi5 and every other failed networking site as well. MySpace used to be the best thing on the internet. But nothing changed, nothing was updated, nothing was new, there was no user to client contact and thus no improvements in the service (and still, there's no new beneficial improvement; all the new things we saw on facebook a year before).

I'm not the biggest fan of facebook, which you wouldn't guess considering the amount of hours I spend on it. The reason I'm not a fan is the amount of hours. It has me trapped, I want to know if someone has posted new pictures, I want to know if so and so is attending the event I'm thinking of going to, I want to know how my friends are doing and what they are up to all day.

I find myself refreshing the page, just in case, about a million times a day. It's now a habit. Those are my reasons for not liking it. I also fear that it will get too big, that there will be too much information and we will all explode from an information over-load. My other beef with social networking sites in general is that they mess with the general order and natural cycle of friends. I can now stay in touch with the people that bullied me in high school, or the people that I knew when i was 5 years old and I could still play out in the street and not get kidnapped.

But back to my theory. Myspace has never changed, it was replaced, and now, rather than realise that it is actually used for music more than networking, it continues to wriggle the knife further into its own heart. It's time it reinvented itself and came up with new ideas rathe than ideas pinched from facebook.

Facebook on the other hand updated their site, changed the layout, realised there was a problem with information display and did something about it. At first people could choose to change sites, eventually everyone had to. And they had the attitude of 'you will get used to it' when people moaned and complained. Now, I quite like it. people hate change, but once they know it for it a while they won't remember what was before. And that is what they knew and what they did.

The people behind facebook and who are working constantly on facebook are not stupid, they are smart, and they know how to stay alive. If they had just left things the way they were all myspace hell might have broken loose and they would be burried in the dust like friendster and hi5.

So my theory is that facebook is going to be like coca-cola, it's not going anywhere. It will have competetors, there will be cheaper versions, but it will always capture the main market, and it's not because the product has every changed. No, it has always tasted the same, just the marketing and the look changed. The logo progressed, the advertising was clever, and always different.

So as long as facebook keeps the product the same, ie. makes sure it's ALWAYS a social networking site that is easy to use and clutter free, but changes the look to keep up with technology then my bet is that it's not going anywhere, and that it will become a brand like Apple, McDonalds, Nike and Coca Cola.

Ideo Questions.

Although I don't sit and post the ideo daily widget questions I do think about them.

here are some of my thoughts over the past few days.

November 8th, What is your TV really saying to you?

It tells me that other people's lives are far more interesting than mine and that cool gimmicks and witty narration is what we should aspire to have in the background. Queue Facebook and their opportunity to narrate your life with as much humour as you want.

November 9th, If you started a magazine what would it be about?

Being happy and how to be happy without stuff, things, and stuff and things.

November 10th, How is being done in China?,

Illegally, realistically, quickly, necessarily, with less pay, with less decoration, with less benefits, with less need, with greater need, with less want, with MORE spirituality. (and a lot of lead in the head.)

November 11th, Will we always aspire to youth?

yes, because we never know that we're growing up. It just happens, and we will continue to do in our older years what we did in our youthful years. Just because we don't know any differently. I don't think we will consciously aspire to it, we will just do it.

But to take the thought to the cosmetic level. When love is involved, and jealousy, and suspicion. When trust is not in abundance then youth is all we have as a weapon, that we believe to be our weapon. How can we compete otherwise?

November 12th, What does sharing look like 5 years from now?

Ideallistically, the foundation of society.

Realistically, non-existant. I think in 5 years hyperindividualism will just increase. It will be longer until we see the masses actually caring.

And

November 5th, How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

Twenty six. One year older than I am now, because I've always seen 26 year olds as people that drink hot things in cafe, read books, and talk about things that appear to matter as well as the idle chit chat too. It's an illusion, but that's the stage I want to be at, and the stage I have been at for a few years. But every now and then I still have a streak of weakness.

How Long? Not Long Because What You Reap Is What You Sew.

I suck at blogging these days, but I tell you, I need to get the stories in type-y type-y land.

Metallica, Prop 8 Protests, Futher Flight extensions, the small small world we live in.

So last Monday, in honour of Anne's birthday (that would be my Maw) Maddy and I went to see Metallica. We decided that if we had to pay for seats we would wait until the gig was just about to start and buy them cheap from the scalpers. So there we were sitting about waiting, and then one of the security men came over and started chatting to us. Within a few short minutes he asked what we were waiting for and we told him the truth. He then said that once his friend at the elevator left he had no issues with us going up and 'getting lost in the crowd'.

We chatted to him for a bit more, and it turned out he is actually the neighbour of Alisa (who was an au pair in Glasgow over the summer and whom is now engaged to Euan McArthur) and that he served his mission in Holland – where Charla now is.

At about ten to nine he came over to us and said 'I've managed to locate the people you were looking for, but you have to come with me now.' He then walked us past the ticket people and right up into the area. The crowd had already started to disappear, so we weren't quick off the mark. Doh. We then hopped from one door to the next getting kicked out. We then bumped into our Amigo again and he walked us into the disabled area and told us to say that a security guard sat us there. We lasted about 10 minutes before being kicked out again, and we decided to cut our losses and beat the traffic. But still. I saw Metallica, for free... and got an awesome Salt Lake City Metallica Shirt. Seriously mega.

That was Monday.

Tuesday was all about institute I'm sure and the election YES THE ELECTION. Oh my gosh. It made me so happy. Call me an anti-war, hippy, animal and human lover, but yeah, I am so pleased that something might change now. High five to Obama.

At the time he was announced the winner I as sitting on the love sack at Pedro's eating a chicken burrito from betos (and I had a bean and cheese burrito in my bag that they gave me for free because the guy was all, I started making your burrito and then I realised I was using beans and cheese and not chicken, so I finished it anyway. Do you want it? HECK YEAH.)

Sean came home and I watched some Southpark with him before heading home.

Wednesday was all about institute again and I had Rob D come with me, such a star. And then he deposited me with his flatmates and we kicked it for a couple of hours before I came home. I've been in one of those moods, since Wednesday, that all you want to do it curl into a ball and be warm in a blanket, or something.

I think I ended up staying home all Thursday, I don't remember. Then Friday was all about the wet stuff. Swimming and temple :)

Swimming stats you say?

I'll try and remember.

200yds front
200yds breast
100yds back
100yds butterfly

200yds front legs
100yds back legs
100yds butterfly legs
200yds breast legs

200yds front arms
100 yds breast arms
100 yds butterfly arms
100 yds back arms

400yds front

You know what? I don't remember. There might have even been an IM in there, but I know I swam 2250yds. Which is 90 lengths. That doesn't beat my 124 the week before though. Shattered.com (not a real website, and if it is, don't click it)

I then went to the lion house in memory of Toni and our last day in Utah together to the day. She left me on the 8th last year. I then went to the temple and when I came out the gates were locked and I could hear this faint noise of shouting. I went and pressed my face against the bars and saw a large crowd of people marching down the street.

I was there for 20 minutes or more, watching the entire protest. I filmed the whole thing. And all the abuse and all the signs.

It made me sad because the church has been singled out and blamed, when 1. It happened in California, and 2. They weren't the only people voting. You know?

Anyway, the one sign that made me almost cry was one that this little girl was holding that said 'I love my gay mom's'.

So once it all dwindled and trailed off I got out the gate and started walking up the street, just in time for the protest to come back down the street and meet me right outside the church office building, where I thought I could duck into and wait for them to pass because I think it's rude to walk through a protest. But it turns out they were stopping there to shout for a bit. I took some pictures, froze to death, made my excuses and left the scene.

Saturday was all about tea cups, and Tropic Thunder. And Sunday was all about church, and cartoons and the coincidence that one of my newest friends knows one of my oldest Utah friends. Hmmm.

Monday was all about decisions, and it might well have been one of the worst days of my life. I've never felt so useless and rejected before. I received a couple of emails rejecting some of my work, and another talking about a forthcoming YSA activity that I thought I was planning, but it turns out they don't need me any more. Which is a good thing, I just hate that they didn't really tell me. You know. A nice wee, thanks for your struggle in the past but now things are going to be easy for everyone, would have been nice. That's life I suppose. I've heard nothing from Adbusters, again, which means that i've been rejected, again. And now I am sitting about wondering what to do with my life... again.

Everytime I seem to come up with a plan I fail to be able to put it into action. And work have stopped paying me and sending me work. I don't know what's up with that. But it makes me hefty paranoid.

And I've not written much of my novel and I am really far behind with the stats. I should write some tonight. But it's 2am and What I say next might be squirmy for some, BUT, I think this month thing is unfair to girls, who, for a week of that month, feel like crap.

Just my thoughts. Which I think is what's going on this week.

So I'm staying in utah for another 3 weeks. December 2nd is the new leaving date and i will for sure be leaving this time. I hope. :)

But on the upside I recieved a really nice message yesterday just before going to Marcus's to watch heroes (the only thing I did yesterday) which was talking about the recording of a song that's about the Catcher in the Rye. Can something so amazing exist? Apparently so. That book is my life bible.

Monday, 3 November 2008

uniteresting title

when did I last update?

I have no idea.

Okay, so Hallowe'en came and went.

I should just really copy and paste some emails I sent last week because that would actually explain parts of my week better.

Or not.

Swimming stats on Thursday.

were like a lot... in a short space of time. I don't remember.

But that night I went to see girl talk with Maddy. It was AMAZING. I'd never heard of him before but he was like DJ Yoda but a million times better. Album downloadable from his myspazz.

So good though. So good.

I also started writing my novel on saturday after being at lagoon with Pedro, sam and Sean. Mega.



but yeah, part of a site called nanowrimo is about writing a novel for the whole month of november. Bring it on. I'm 4000 words in :) I should write tonight before going to metallica. Yes, I am going to Metallica... suck on that :)

Hallowe'en was ace. I went with Rob D and his homies to a party in Provo to see Phil play drums in his new band. So good. Such a good sound. It was a total hipster party, so I felt completely awkward, but it was awesome though.

And it turned out that the girl who owned the house was Charla's friend Nikki that I met in California in San Diego two years ago. AMAZING.

Saturday was all about Lagoon and being tired.

Sunday was all about church and then firesides, and then watching lock stock and two smoking barrels at Rob's house with all their amazing friends.

And then I nipped over to Sean and Pedro's and watched a george lopez comedy session on Youtube. Mega.

And that pretty much brings us up to date.

I also bore my testimony at the awesome 40th ward. It's just easier to do there because people understand to the T what I'm going through and what experiences i've had because we're all in the same stage of life. :)

Anyway, it was a good Sunday.

And this was a lame update. but an update none-the-less.

Saturday, 25 October 2008

Thought.

Sometimes things just don't feel like real life. I suddenly realise that a certain situation and circumstance is reality and not just in my head? I don't know where else it would be. There are things that are real.

Odd

While I'm at it... here's one of my favourite quotes from catcher in the rye.

You could tell he didn't feel like discussing anything serious with me. That's the trouble with these intellectual guys. They never want to discuss anything serious unless they feel like it.

It sums me up a lot. I would much rather talk about unicorns and bruises than talk about the things that helped me get my degree. I suppose i see it as work. I don't like to brag about my credentials just as much as I don't want to brag about knowing things because I know that I don't know enough or anything. I don't even think I'm intellectual, I am a snob though – it seems.

Another Whinny Essay... seriously. I need to stop.

I just submitted this to adbusters. Not my finest piece of writing, but let's face it, I am slacking these days. Lack of reading equals lack of quality writing. Alas. Enjoy.

A Call For Superheroes.

Now is the time to forget the rules; all bets are off. Now is the time to shed our contemporary consumer society costumes, and truly reveal the superheroes within ourselves.

The concept of superheroes is not unusual, they have been part of our fantasy culture for decades and they cross international cultures and barriers. I would go as far as saying that as long as man has existed he has always dreamed of having super-natural powers and abilities that set him apart from everyone else and give him authority to help and save the world, or at least help with his labour.

What's not so commonly recognised is the similarities of superheroes to the contemporary consumer world. Superheroes don masks, capes and lycra snug-fitting outfits and alter their identities to conceal who they are, or rather augment who they want to be: a crime fighter; a life saver; a bringer of justice. We are guilty of doing such things with our own purchases, and our own everyday clothes. We buy things that will make us feel like who we want to be and that we think will display our inner personality to the outside world. Really we are just fitting into genres and shoe-horning our lives into a brand we think we identify with. We have been behaving like superficial superheroes for decades, but this is now a call for real superheroes: for people to realise their potential and realise the difference they can make in this world.

No, we don't have any kind of super natural powers, but I don't think that possessing abilities beyond reality would actually help, but more so hinder. This is up to us. We don't need a mask, a cape, or any kind of special outfit. We don't need powers, or to have been born on another planet. We really don't need to conceal our identities or suppress who we are any longer. The pressure to conform to a certain genre and to appeal to the people already leading that niche of society has reached boiling point and we can now free ourselves. It's time to let our superhero selves reign supreme. We need to save the planet, and we need to do it as superheroes.

Let's shed our brands, and our obsession with spending. Let's start to help the people we know and the people we don't know; let's talk to our neighbours and save society; let's go outside and experience nature and appreciate how intrinsically linked to it we are; let's make amends with our family and friends and have no animosity; let's look at the sky and realise how wonderful and beautiful it is; let's not fear our own culture, anyone else's culture and especially not religion; let's stop working so many hours, and stop wanting gadgets, brands, and things beyond need; let's say no more to being psychologically tormented and depressed by the cold world we have invented; let's listen to the young and the old; let's cook real food and no longer be a slave to work and the microwave meals made for convenience; let's realise that the things we own will not afford us one iota of real happiness; let's design things that will help people rather than things to make money; let's put down the TV remote and read books; let's enjoy life and realise that memories are what make it; let's learn from each other and never stop learning; let's care about the world; let's care about people; let's be happy; let's care about oppression, war, and let's no longer stand for corruption among our 'leaders'. We have the power to rise up and take back the planet that is ours. Let's change the world, let's be superheroes – together.

Power-Walking in my Black and White shoes vs. the Rice Game.

Yeah, the title is weak, it sounds amusing though.

I'm not sure what to update, other than today a year ago from today was my first whole day in Salt Lake City when I moved here on a bit of a whim last year. I was with Otto, we were having a whale of a time. Life was spiffy. Then Antoinette came and life was awesome, then I met B-boy, and then I went home, and life took a turn down the winding stairs of some ancient tower in scotland that has a lot of stairs that are winding in a tower like turret frame.

Anyway. Let's not dwell... not today, not on Rex Manning day. I really want to watch empire records. I'm sad I never brought it with me.

So, I should have been home today/yesterday. I did not, however, get on the plane. I've extended my ticket for another three weeks. I think three because my acid pills run out in four weeks. Eep. My immune system herbal stuff runs out pretty soon, so I need to get on the dective route and see if I can find some more astragulus. Rumour has it though that herbal remedies are banned from existence because of the insurance companies or something like that. The same reason there's no public transport.

Okay, so I'm not going to type too much, because we all know me and I could Prattle for the earth in the multi-galaxy talking olympics. But only if i have a babel fish in my ear.

I will however provide you with some audio/visual and static/visual delights.

Delictible, delightful, devilishly awesome.

This 'ere first video is of the snow that occured on the 10th/11th of October. It brought the internet down too. Crazy.

I also have some pictures of it the night before. It was a typical british snow storm, then I woke up the next morning to the video. Crazy dot com. It was a good day at church none the less. I got to wear my tank girl boots and I hung about with clayton and we ate soup and I met a girl called Becca Bierwolf, i kid you not. I thought it was beuowulf like the random movie, although close enough to still be cool.










The following week was all about Heroes night, watching the love guru (thank you mike myers), templing it up, Oh swimming too I just never gave the stats, seeing April Bladh and going to the duelling piano bar... Mega. Urban Outfitters with Marcus where I got this amazing T-shirt:



Then we went to eat curry in bountiful, it was strange being served by people who were native english speakers. odd odd odd. At least there were Indian people in the kitchen cooking the indian food. I <3 british indian food.

Only in America though would you be offered free rice refills. Seriously. Refill on the rice?

How about let's eat this one first.

So, remember that game you would play when you were small with the sticks. You would drop a pile of sticks and you would take it in turns to remove one without another stick moving. Once a stick moved or fell it would be another person's turn.

Mar-ti-cus and I played it with the rice. This was the result.







We got shooooed out of there quickly too.

No way does it rival the curry mile in Manch.

On our way out to the car we spotted this delightful bench... pictures had to be taken.










We got in the car and decided to go to the video shop and get a video-ness. Excellent. On the way though we drove past two amazing power walkers. We U-turned and went back to see them... Marcus filmed them on my camera, and subtley as we drove past he kept facing forward but held the camera out the window to follow them even more. Because they would never notice that... no never. High five for subtlety.

We were going the wrong way, so U-turned again and went back to see them one more time and they looked right at me, they knew what we were up to. That's the second video of the two haha.









We watched Curse of the golden flower. Epic. The last time i saw that it was with becca and she wasn't even dating gareth, now they are married. We also drank some squirt. Go on Marticus say it one more time.



Saturday was joyous. It was all about getting cheap Levis in Park City and seeing the mountain goats. I totally felt bad that marcus and maddy didn't like them much, I totally love the goats. He only played two songs that I knew though both in the encore. The first was dance music, one of my all time favourites, and the second which made me laugh A LOT was the best ever death metal band out of denton. I was the only one that got it right away. He was saying 'now when it comes to your part I hope you will sing what you've got to sing.' I knew what it was in an instant, and with the first chord. Amazing.



He made me laugh. It's actually my favourite song. I never recorded it, this was another version in another land.

I'm also convinced that the singer dude is a little bit autistic or something.





Sunday I went to see Krystyl's family and pick up some stuff to take back. They fed me cookies, it was amazing. On the drive back I found this street sign.



And that pretty much brings us to this week. Oh last week I went to see Maggie and Dave my republicans. They are so fired up for the election. Talking about all the t-shirts they could sell that say that Obama is an ass. Hmmm. And they were sitting with a sarah palin and I've forgotten the other dude's name knife. A knife with them on the handle crazy. we caught up though, they fed me, and we watched night in the museum in high definition because it was on :)

This week was all about the institute again, and watching anime with marcus. I love Studio Ghibli. It makes me so happy. Christian Bale is the voice of howl. Now I have even more reason to want to be in love wit howl.

I also avoided swimming for a few days, finally went yesterday, but on Tuesday when I tried to go I ended up going to the vintage shop instead. Amazing. And I got the most amazing dress and shoes. The dress, I actually said to the guy, I would be stupid not to buy this. let me go grab the awesome shoes and off I went.

These are the shoes, if anything i bought them for the heel. I am still in desperate need and want for the shoes from the regina spektor video Fidelity, in the first opening seconds.



I attempted to play violin at the institute last night but one chapel was taken and the other was locked, so I went home, but on the way walked past this bike:



I really do have a thing for black and white.

On my way home I got cookies and went to marcus' and watched howl's moving castle. Amazing.

And these are just two random pictures i had kicking about, one is of some sunset somewhere, not sure when I took it, and the other is of hills I saw on the way back from Lindon after hanging out with Lucy all day. I thought they looked like potatoes. Sorry B-boy for taking pictures while driving in your car.



Thursday, 23 October 2008

Three things that keep me sane

1. Hot drinks, including but not limited to Chai tea latte (with roobios not real tea.. the real stuff was better though) Hot Chocolate, Mint tea, Chamomile tea, and various other herbal guys.

2. Furry Animals that give me love and affection and let me love them.

3. Faith in my religion. I think I would have gone mad by now without it.

Monday, 20 October 2008

roundabout trust

There's a couple of ways to get onto the 89 Hightway or I15 from where I'm staying in Bountiful. One of them involves a roundabout, but I hate using it. Why? Well I realised yesterday it's because I don't trust American drivers least of all Utah drivers, and roundabouts are all about trust. You trust that the car is going to go where it's indicating to go, and that way the traffic flows and everyone is happy.

Saturday, 18 October 2008

Control.

I just watched control again. I also watched Curse of the Golden Flower with Marcus earlier.

But, I was watcing/listening to control while getting ready for bed, and writing emails and essays.

I just wanted to post this video for the 'Love will tear us apart' song.



It's a depressing movie, it's true, and it looks like you can watch the whole thing on YouTube in 15 parts if you're up for it :)

I was at a duelling piano bar with April last night and I really wanted to see if the pianists could play that song, or a Rolling Stones one. I think they would have been able to because they nailed Sting's Roxanne to the point that my mouth dropped open with amazement.

BRUISE!

Last week I was down in Provo visiting Marky Mark and his funky bunch, when in Provo I decided I would visit bridal vale falls and mount timpy no go – well the latter occured because I was in the area.

Anyway, I was paying general respects to Scott's area of death and left some flowers there... I also did something kind of crazy, I walked down the road for a bit to get to the area described in the articles I read... Bring it on cars bring it on, don't worry I felt safe. Anyway, when I was climbing over the big rusted metal barrier to the marker 11 I kind of tripped over it, and ended up with this bruise. Pah.



Thank you Scott for my newest bruise :)

My First Kit-Kat in Four Years or Take That Nestle. WHAM.

Something wonderful happened the other day. I realised that in this fair country KitKats are NOT made my nestle. Granted they are covered in Hershey's spew flavoured chocolate, but the concept of the Kit Kat is still there. And I ate a mini one... Oh living big.

Thursday, 16 October 2008

And The Customer Becomes the Spam Caller

I was douped into getting a House of Fraser Mastercard the other week, and I forgot to settle the bill before I left for utah, so I now have a £20 penalty fee on it which I plan to get rid of when I get home. Arses... I tried to pay it numerous times but they were always shut or didn't have their automated service on. Lame.

Okay, so today I had my O2 sim card in for a while and a call came from a random number, I looked up online and it turned out that it could be GE money. So I changed sim cards and gave them a call back via Jajah.com the best calling service ever. EVER. Anyway, my sim card wasn't in properly an I ended up prank calling them three times. SWEET. My answering machine answered and they were left on their end with just nothing. So I had three amazing voicemail messages from three indian people all saying Hello, thank you for calling GE money can I take your card number, Hello thank you for calling GE money sorry for the delay can I take your card number, Hello thank you for calling GE money do you know your card number. Hello, there is no response from your end, we are open until 9 you can try to call back. Thank you goodbye. Haha.

AMAZING.

Take That dot com.

Friday, 10 October 2008

My Chinese Name.

Last Friday on the drive back from Provo with Marcus (after his missionary reunion where we pitched up together then realised everyone thought we were dating so then he gave me a ring and I flaunted it to see how many rumours we could start, and people would ask, so where did you guys meet... Ummm on the mission, where else? High school? Ha) we were shooting the breeze china style, and then we were trying to think of an awesome chinese name for me.

We decided that Li Fung was a pretty name, so went with that as my new first name :)

Marcus suggested that my surname should be something that at leasts starts with an M though. And I was talking about how Miller must have a literal translation, or at least baker would have a literal translation I remembered the little Chinese (and I mean little) that I learned from reading that book in borders while waiting for Eilidh, I knew the word Mao (which means cat).

I also kept thinking that the chinese for caterpillar started with an M, that was the first chinese word I ever learned and Xia Fan taught it to me last year sometime. I've forgotten it now. She also told me the words for goat, rat and pig.

So I think it could be set though:

Mao Li Fung.

meaning: Cat Phoenix.

Oh yeah... who's a chinese superhero? ME.


(while also reading those books I learned that Zero's name translates straight into chinese as Ling... so Mao Li Fung and Mao Ling will fight for justice, truth, and the... umm... love?)

Tres...

There were three things about Gen Cen (remember the new name for general conference) that really made me emotional, I did not cry though, there might have been welling of eyes, but no crying. It takes a lot to make me cry. Seriously it does.

Number 1. The Rome temple.

Number 2. The closing prayer for the second session of Saturday conference.

Number 3. These two people.







Whenever I read about the Free Hugs Campaign I get really emotional. Especially when I watch the video. So it was little wonder that on Sunday afternoon when I was surrounded by thousands of people yet feeling so alone, that these two people offering free hugs and wishing people a good conference, made me emotional beyond all reason.

(I think that was a badly constructed sentence, alas.)

They brought joy to my heart. When there's idiots prancing up and down the street dressed as devils and cussing the church, it was just overwhelming to have someone hug me and wish me a happy conference. I don't know if I mentioned it before, but the Anti's had kids with them, and it was their kids I felt sorry for. They were shouting stuff at Mormons that they had no understanding of, and they just wanted to impress their parents. Lame. I just honestly don't know who has that kind of time on their hands; who cares that much about what other people do. I know I have no time.

Anyway... thank you people that gave me free hugs.

One more thing (columbo style) I noticed that the people who were accepting free hugs were foreigners. There weren't a lot of Americans. They were being too suspicious, or not wanting to act out of the social context they think they should be in.

This reminded me of Stanley Milgrams social experiments that were conducted to see if the German/Jewish hollocaust could happen in the USA. They thought it would not, but they were wrong, because it could. The experiments involved a member of the public having to administer shock therapy to whom they believed to be another member of the public. A man in a lab coat told them what to do, and a high percentage of people went right a head and did as they were told shocking, and essentially killing the other volunteer for all they knew. It's worth checking out here.

So my theory is, because I was a tourist and the japanese and chinese and german people were all tourists we were already out of our social normalities. Whereas people who are less inclined to travel don't know how to react to something new or different that isn't popular yet, or that hasn't been deemed safe yet by main stream society. In other words... I was a black sheep walking among white sheep.

Thursday, 9 October 2008

The Burbs

I love the burbs.

When kids were watching star wars, and disney movies (I love lady and the tramp don't get me wrong), I was watching Empire of the sun, stand by me, cocktail, lost boys, the goonies and the burbs.

Here are some of my favourite scenes. I LOVE COREY FELDMAN.



WAAAAAAAR Machine.



Hey Pinnochio.... where're you going?



This is walter ahhhHHHhhhHHHhhhHHHhhhHHH love the zoom.



... and burried them in the backyard.

Wednesday, 8 October 2008

IDEO question

What do you miss most? How could you bring it back?

I'm not sure if I miss anything that can be brought back.

I miss my dead cat, I miss my youth, I miss my university days, I miss the sponge of a brain I used to have. I think I miss my ability to learn quickly. Back when I was 11 I was learning Spanish, the Violin, Biology terms, dates from history, geography terms, names of authors, quotes from poets and philosophers, I was learning how to cook, how to sew, how to socially exist. I was learning who I was, how I fit into life, where I belong, who I want my friends to be. I was learning how to make things from wood and metal, I was learning how to draw technically. I was learning basic physics and how to find x by breaking brackets. I was learning about religions, and modern politics, and how to read music, and how to play simple keyboard songs, and that I am not invincible. I was learning not to forget my school books, I was learning how to type and use computers, I was learning more strategy to netball, how to aim better at hitting the shuttle cock, how to swim and be a dummy for life savers.

Now, as I am older... every day I learn less and less. That, is appalling. You would think I would learn more, but education teaches to wean out subjects, forget facts, forget fundamentals, focus focus focus... until all you really care about is design, and then you don't even know what to do with that knowledge, or what use it really has.

I miss the ease of life, and the naivity of existence that I once had when I was 19-21.

I miss my dead cat.

But, to miss them is okay, to want them back is ridiculous. Past and present shouldn't interfere in one another's place in life.


Above all though, I miss my plastic thomas the tank engine cup that I had when I was a toddler. I scour ebay for it, but to no avail.

I also miss being in the turtle club and being Raphael.

I miss my inate memory for random things.

But as Holden Caulfield says, and he is my idol, he is me. As he concludes his epic story of his madman business he says

Don’t Tell Anyone Anything, Or Else You’ll End Up Missing Everyone.

So technically I miss everything... whenever I tell you a story, or whenever I write something down... I will miss these things.

The only way to get them back, is not to lose them, and the only way not to lose them is make sure I hold on tight to the memories.

Gen Cen (the new Name for General Conference)

It's also pronounced Jen Sen. Like jensen but not.

Right first things first... here is the evidence that I was at general conference.



This is me at the Saturday Morning session of conference, sitting next to two french girls that gasped like I did at the announcement of the rome temple (about a third of the congregation, who must have been European gasped too). There was an american next to them using the chat up line 'did you know bic pens are made in France? What does Bic mean?'




This is me at the Saturday Afternoon session of conference. Sitting next to a Japanese girl and an Australian woman, who I think was called Vicky.



This is me at the Sunday morning session of conference sitting next to a strange almost gormless looking family history missionary, and another man that made him self just as big and wide as the other and squashed me. Bah.



This is me at the Sunday afternoon session sitting next to a Scottish girl from Dunfermline that I had never met before. What are the odds of that happening? Seriously. I actually said to her, are you scottish Oh shut up. :)

And now on to the famous people.

First things first we have Cher:



(It's weak I know.)


Then we move onto Christine Baranski.. she was in Cybill and also the friend from mama mia.




This one is Curly from Coronation Street, as pointed out by Toni at last Gen Cen.




this one is Daddy warbucks, the bald guy, and Alex Boye the only black guy in the motab, and some dude I met at my first YSA convention in England when I was 17. Poser.com.




here's another shot of Daddy Warbucks.




This one is David Cameron... I think he looks like him anyway.




DOCTOR QUINN MEDICINE WOMAN, I kid you not. How my life was entertained by her and Sulley.




This one I can't decide who he is, but I think he's famous, and possibly the bad guy from Buffy.




One of my personal favourites, not only is this the only Mouser in the MoTab it's also HITLER.




I feel like this guy is in star trek or something... the one with the glasses right at the top.. and possibly also with a Mouser... I lied about the only mouser. Who is he?



Call me racist, Yoko Ono, she's trying to split up the MoTab.



This is the guy from Dumb and Dumber, remember the one with the heart condition that ate the rat poison and chilli or something like that. Mega. MIKE STARR (thank you IMDB.com)



And now we are down to my last three and my favourites.

First on the running is.....

JESSICA FLETCHER.



(Oh how I love her)

Then we move on to.... STEVE MARTIN.. yes it is true... STEVE MARTIN IS IS IS A Mormon.



And saving the best to last...

Peter Griffin. If cartoons were real this is what Peter would look like.